Well Mr. Moore, you're as healthy as an ox. Your cholesterol is a hundred and twenty seven; even your good to bad ratio is excellent. Your lungs are clear, your PSA is right where it should be and it says here, you've lost five pounds since I saw you last. In other words, what ever you're doing keep it up. If all my patients were as healthy as you, I'd be out of business," he said with a snicker.
"So doc, there is nothing wrong with me?"
"Steve, is there something in particular you're interested in?"
"Just the blood work." He looked at the results again.
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," he said closing my file. "I'll see you next year, my nurse will make the appointment on your way out."
"Damn, that was a load off my mind, at least I won't have to kill the two of them for giving me HIV or AIDS," I said to myself as I got into my car and headed back to work. "That's one thing I won't have to worry about ever again; now, if I could just narrow down the suspects."
You see I just found out for sure my loving wife Beth is cheating on me with one of our friends. After nine years of bliss I'm plotting my revenge on her and her fuck buddy, whom ever it is. Am I in a hurry? Not really. I've got all the time in the world now that I know Beth hasn't infected me with some incurable disease and there's not a chance I'm ever going to touch her again; at least not with my dick. How did I find out you ask? She told me. Well I guess she did come right out and say," Steve I fucking so and so," she did it a much more subtle way.
It was early evening, somewhere in the area of nine o'clock. It had been a pretty good day all in all and I was feeling more than a little amorous. "Babes," I said in my sexiest voice, you want to have a little fun tonight?"
"Not tonight she said," opening up her book. "I'm a little tired and all I want to do is wind down."
"I can help you with that, how about a neck and back rub?"
"Steve, all you want to do is get me naked and it's not going to work tonight," she said going back to her book.
"You're never in the mood anymore, don't I do it for you anymore?"
"Steve, sometime you just don't anymore," she said putting her book down on her lap.
"Well maybe if we did it more than once every two or three weeks you could get back in the groove."
"Steve, what about no don't you understand? I don't want you tonight, it's that simple."
I just stood there stunned. I couldn't believe what my loving wife had just told me. I grabbed my pillow and started out the bedroom.
"What are you going to do now, sulk?" she shot back at me.
"Don't worry, I would bother you anymore, tonight or anytime in the fucking future. Since I don't do it for you anymore, I guess I'll just have to go else where," I told her walking across the hall and into the spare room. I heard her call out my name once before I slammed the door and locked it.
"Fucking bitch, I'm done begging her for sex anymore. If she doesn't want me any longer, so be it." I went to sleep or tried to but this was a huge deal in my eyes and that's all I thought about all night.
I came down stair just before seven the next morning tired and still pissed.
"Steve, I'm sorry about what I said last night, I didn't mean it, and I was just tired. Maybe we can fool around tonight," she said with a smile.
"Beth, what are you doing, throwing me a fucking bone? Maybe if I lie there and let him fuck me it'll all blow over you're thinking? Well fuck you, I wouldn't touch that God damn pussy of yours if it was the last one on earth," I spewed at her. "So you don't have to worry. I won't be asking you for sex any longer," I said grabbing my briefcase. "I probably won't be home for dinner tonight, just looking at you makes me sick to my stomach." With that I left.
Beth must have left a hundred calls on my cell and business line that day. When she started e-mailing me after lunch I blocked her so I wouldn't have to worry about how 'sorry' she was. She'd become a real asshole over the last six months and I was tired of it. We had sex about once every two weeks and that was only after I'd almost had to shame her into it. There was always an excuse and although some were probably legit, most weren't. I used to look forward to coming home and making love to her. I would set the mood with maybe a back or foot massage with scented oil, but now all she wanted to do was get it on and done with as soon as possible.
I had dinner out by myself and hit a local watering hole after that. I sipped on a beer or two while watching the game and didn't get home until well after eleven. I thought about sneaking in but thought what the hell I hadn't done anything wrong. When I went past our bedroom Beth flung open the door.
"Where in the hell have you been?"
"Out, what's it to you?" That put her back on her heels.
"You didn't call or anything. You could have been lying dead in a ditch for all I knew."
"Well, I guess then you wouldn't have had to worry about me pawing at you anymore," I said slipping in the knife and turning it twice. "If you'll excuse me, it's late and I need to get some sleep." I shut the door in her face and went to bed; I slept better that night.
"Are you going to honor us with your presence tonight at dinner?" she asked in a shitty tone of voice.
"I haven't decided yet."
"Well, how in the hell am I going to know then?"
"Well sweetheart let me put it to you this way; if I'm here I'll fucking eat here, and if I'm not I won't; does that about cover it?"
"Well Steve, let me know when you're done acting like a two year old."
"Beth, why don't you go fuck yourself; wait a minute, you're probably doing that already unless you're getting it some where else," I said looking right at her. She was good, but not that damn good when I saw that look in her eye.
"How dare you accuse me of cheating on you," she now yelled at me. I then pushed it further.
"Beth, if your not getting it from me, you must be getting it some where else."
"Steve, go to hell. I don't give a rat's ass if you ever come home for dinner ever again," she shouted at me before turning her back on me and walking away.
All the way to work I kept remembering that look in her eye. Not horror that I'd accused her of cheating but that of shock and surprise, like I'd touched an open nerve.
On the internet you can find almost anything. I typed in surveillance equipment and ten thousand items popped up. I kept narrowing my search until I got down to a manageable one hundred choices. Finally I found what I was looking for, a remote surveillance camera with a recording device. It would handle up to four tiny cameras and with the extended memory chip would record up to five days; more than I needed. I ordered it and had it shipped overnight to my office. The next part would be tricky.
You see, Beth didn't work and took care of our two kids, Dan who was seven and Amy who just turned five. So how to get her out of the house without her suspecting something was going to take some thinking.
I didn't eat supper at home anymore but didn't stay out past eight o'clock; after all, I still needed to work. Now when I got home I ignored her and just hung out with my two kids.
"I've got to run to the store for a minute. If it's not too much of an imposition, do you think you can watch your children for about twenty minutes until I get back?"
"Whatever," I said not even looking at her.