Virtual Virgin

My first story, telling a tale that is close to the truth.

Please forgive my mistakes and inexperience.

.........

The papers have finally come through. I read through the legal terms, not understanding most of it, but knowing that it proves that I am finally rid of the man that I have wasted most of my adult life with.

It was great when we were teenagers; meeting up of an evening, going out with friends and having fun. Then things got serious and we decided to move in together. The tiny house that we rented for three years now represents the happiest time of my life, when we set up home for the first time. We would rush home from work, cook together, then spend the evenings in each others arms, watching TV or listening to music together. That time was all about saving up for a home of our own, every spare penny saved and banked in our joint account, destined to safeguard our future.

Sex was free of course, so we spent most evenings exploring each others bodies, trying new ways to please each other and keep things exciting, the TV often the soundtrack to our sex life, only drowned out by our noisy orgasms, usually followed by banging on the wall from our elderly churchgoing neighbours, who frowned on any public display of affection and no doubt thought that our house was a den of iniquity, probably imagining us conjuring up the devil to help consummate our sinful union.

I can't remember what made us eventually tie the knot, maybe it was to avoid the shame cast on our relationship by our neighbours as well as some of Dave's family, but we let the parents arrange a formal wedding and unenthusiastically went along with the process.

The wedding day was fun though and I admit to enjoying the feeling of being a princess for the day, finding it quite arousing to catch the eye of Dave's friends eyeing up the bride after a few drinks, their girlfriends and wives gathered at one table, chatting away while their men lusted over the bride and the bridesmaids lined up at the head table.

The best man Tony even made a pass at me, after I granted his drunken request to kiss the bride, before whisking me away to dance. That kiss was a little too passionate and lasted way too long and I had to push him away, trying to make a joke of it. I was embarrassed of course and he apologised, but when he pulled me in to dance and I felt his erection pressing against me, I had to hide my arousal and break off the dance before he realised and took things too far.

The whole day had made me desperate to get back to our honeymoon suite and strip naked for my man, but a little too much champagne allowed my desires to get the better of me and, as I sat talking to some family members, I couldn't get that kiss out of my mind and the memory of his cock pressing against me.

When my new husband Dave disappeared to check our room, I edged back toward Tony, curious to see if that erection was a permanent affliction, or if it was for my benefit alone.

The next few minutes of that day defined my life from then to now, as he looked at me and smiled, moving away from his friends and coming to talk to me. I felt like I would explode with desire, and if it wasn't for my mother in law's intervention, I would have let him drag me away and willingly lifted my skirts for him. Instead, he sheepishly apologised and stumbled away, leaving me to secretly imagine what it would have felt like to have lifted my wedding dress and to drop myself onto his erection.

In the years since, I have occasionally wished that I had given in to Tony's advances that day, maybe acting as if I was offended, but winking at him or licking my lips, to encourage him to try again, when everybody's backs were turned.

Tony had a reputation amongst the girls as a fantastic lover, albeit a promiscuous one, something I realised when my friend Jill met up with and eventually married him, despite being gifted an array of STD's over the years by the man she was then besotted by.

When I recently asked her why she stuck by him, she smiled and whispered that she could forgive him anything, because he was so good in bed. That conversation led to us going on to discuss our individual sex lives and I soon realised what I was missing.

Dave has been OK in bed and usually gave me an orgasm, although rarely through penetration and, although our sex life dipped considerably once we were married, I was satisfied with my lot.

But, after that conversation with Jill, I wondered if there was something missing in my love life.

Jill had made a comment which I was later to think about and, as I brooded over her words, I began to question small events and tales that Dave had told me, those questions eventually leading to me discover what an unfaithful swine I had married.

Jill had looked thoughtful and a little guilty whenever I talked about Dave's sexual performance. I didn't think twice about it when she nodded in agreement and grimaced slightly when I told her about him finishing too quickly, as if she already knew what I was saying. She instantly seemed to regret her response and looked guilty when I jokingly asked her how she would know. She had ignored my joke, making me jealous by telling me how Tony lasted for ages, giving her four or five orgasms most times, before allowing himself to unload inside her.

Jill sat thoughtfully that day, sipping her wine as I opened another bottle, before quietly going on to tell me that she had heard rumours about Dave going back to our honeymoon suite with an old girlfriend on our wedding night, asking me if I knew.

That was the first time I had heard that tale and I responded with angry indignation, defending Dave at first. But when she told me who the woman was, I began to suspect that there may have been some truth in the rumours and, as memories of that time came back to me I became horrified and furious, as I realised that it answered some questions over Dave's behaviour that day, the constant disappearance and his apparent disinterest when we eventually got to bed. We had sex, but Dave failed to rise fully to the occasion, blaming the amount he had drunk for his poor performance.

Ever since that conversation with Jill, I have recalled little lies that Dave told, and I imagine him having sex with his old girlfriend, maybe only an hour before he penetrated me. That thought turned my love for him to hatred and our relationship was doomed from that day on.

Jill's revelation gnawed away at me and slowly unravelled a lifetime of lies and deception as I questioned Dave's regular excuses for working late, going out with the boys, or football nights in the pub.

I starting asking around about those excuses, and his stories were soon exposed as lies.

The girls behind the bar in the pub that was his football night venue, couldn't recall him. When I met his manager at a works Christmas meal, he looked bemused at my chastising him for giving Dave too much work, suddenly smiling nervously and moving away to speak to somebody else. I then bumped into an old friend, who married one of his old schoolfriends. She insisted we arrange to meet up again, just like old times, she said, as neither of them had seen Dave or me for years. Her husband was one of the men Dave talked of when they went out for a boys night out, but his wife said that they hadn't seen him for years.

It was obvious that Dave had been having at least one affair for years since we married, coming up with a list of excuses to explain his absence, so I confronted him one night.

Like a scolded child, he sobbed out his admission, telling me that he had been having an affair with an old girlfriend, somebody who he had often spoken of when we first met. I knew her slightly, a mousy looking woman who made up for her dowdy appearance by always wearing short skirts and showing off her big breasts. I also knew that she had never married, but remembered seeing her pushing a child in a pushchair years before.

Asking around amongst my old schoolfriends, it transpired that she fell pregnant about a year after we married, going on to have two more children, about five years apart, despite never marrying or seeming to have a regular man in her life. Some of those old school friends imagined her to be prostituting herself, as she had never had a permanent job, but the general opinion was that she was a woman who just liked casual sex and was foolish enough to not take precautions.

My mind went into overdrive at that point, realising that the most likely person to have fathered those three children was Dave, something he vehemently denied, but which seemed so obvious to me. I am now convinced that she fell pregnant with her first child on our wedding night, often wondering if I should find out her first childs birth date to confirm my suspicions.

I had never even considered having children, despite occasional hints from Dave, and continued to take the pill throughout my fertile years. Now that it was a little late for me, I discovered that Dave had fathered three children with another woman, my mind wondering how many other women he had slept with over the years, hating him for his constant deception.

So now I am on my own, in my mid forties, trying to put all of the hatred and suspicion behind me, whilst secretly wishing that I had given in to Tony's clumsy approach on my wedding night. Who knows, maybe he would have fallen for me and we would have been having illicit sexual liaisons ever since, giving me some of those stupendous orgasms that Jill so enthusiastically described.

But all of that is behind me, now that those divorce papers are in my hand.

I have decided to change my life, to live a little and enjoy some of the pleasures that I've denied myself and which others seem to enjoy, even after years of marriage.

My fun will come outside of marriage, I'm sure of that. No way am I going back to the mundane joys of the marriage bed.

So I've signed up to a few dating sites, bought myself some sexy clothes and, having learned from Dave's other wife, have decided to wear my skirts shorter and get my tits out more often!

I now consider myself a virtual virgin, having only had sex with one man in my life and having that relationship dissolved, I feel like I'm starting out again, desperately looking forward to my first sexual experience, to experience the feeling of a man pressing his rigid penis into my shaved vagina, spreading my legs and making me moan for more.

I'm going to have fun!