Ultimate Betrayal

A big thank you to Randi, for her continued help, and editing prowess. I am a tinkerer, even after editing, I can't help myself. I play. Any and all errors, are mine, and mine alone.

There I sat, the envelope going round and round in my fingers, my face taut, the grimace deeply etched. The powerful urge to open it was negated by fear. Once I prised open that letter, it was all over.

If it contained what I feared, then my life as I knew it was gone. Everything I valued would vanish. There was no coming back.

I dropped it, slid it unopened to the side as I tried to focus on work.

It was like a magnet, my eyes drawn to it, my mind spinning in uncontrolled descent.

Hesitantly, I picked it up again, spun it. Did I need to know? I toyed with it, turning it over and over, a cold shiver running down my spine as I picked up my letter opener.

I slipped under the flap and sliced it from end to end.

Open, I stared at it, the goose bumps spreading, but couldn't pull out the report. I threw it down on my desk. Pacing idly around the room, I opened the window, sucked in a deep fortifying breath. I had to know; I just had to. Returning to my desk, it sat there staring at me, taunting me, until I couldn't wait any longer. I ripped out the report and read what I feared more than death. There it was in black and white.

My head fell into my hands and I'm not too proud to say I cried. I swallowed back the breakfast that was foaming in my throat, trying to explode all over my desk. I swallowed and swallowed. I had to leave. Making excuses about not feeling well, I went for a walk. I stretched out my legs as I walked purposefully up and down the roads around the office.

It was late when I decided there was no hiding from this. I needed to know why.

I went back to the office, picked up the report and headed for home. The bus ride was terrible. As always, the bus was full and the hubbub was loud as everybody talked and gossiped. I sat frozen in my seat, anger building, bubbling away, waiting to explode.

I walked in the front door and Lucy was nursing Luka. She looked up with a warm smiling face and walked towards me rocking the baby in her arms. She was almost upon me when she must have seen something in my eyes, "Fetu...are you all right, you look terrible?"

I had gone over this a thousand times on the ride home. I had my speech all planned out, but in the end, all I could say was, "Just tell me why Lucy, tell me why."

She frowned, confusion written all across her face. "What are you talking about?"

"Sione, why did you have sex with Sione?"

She stumbled, staggered back, and I watched as she caught herself, "W...w...w...what are you talking about, Fetu? Why would you say that?"

"Because I'm not Luka's father; the DNA test confirm the father is a relative, so unless you slept with my father, it is Sione who is his father."

She staggered back, tears welling up in her eyes, "Why are you saying these horrible things? You are Luka's father."

I pulled out the DNA report and threw it at her. "Read it for yourself, Lucy, all I want to know is why?"

She dropped her eyes and turned away walking up to the bedroom. I heard the door slam; apparently, our discussion was over. The food was still cooking on the stove, the potatoes were about to boil over, so I turned all the elements off.

I grabbed a beer from the fridge and moved out to the patio where the last of the evening sun still shone dimly as it set in the western sky. Putting my feet up on the big old chair, I tried to calm my racing heart. My blood pressure was already off the recordable scale. My first beer led to a second and then a third. The sun was gone, and the cool sultry humid night settled, there wasn't even a gentle breeze to help cool off.

It must have been nearly nine before Lucy wandered out. She looked terrible, and she had obviously been crying the whole time. She walked out and sat on the swing chair facing me, wiping her tears away and sniffled, "I'm sorry Fetu. I didn't do it to cause pain, I was trying to help."

I choked on my mouthful of beer as her words bit home, "Help," I screamed. "How in god's name was having sex with my brother going to help?"

"Fetu, I didn't do it to have sex, I did it to have a baby. Things have been so tense between us, we were fighting and bickering all the time, and all because we couldn't conceive. I know how much you wanted the baby. I just thought if we had a baby it would make everything all right. Since Luka was born. It has been so pleasant, no fighting and seeing you and little Luka together, him cuddled in your arms, it all seemed right."

I shook my head in disbelief. The way she twisted everything annoyed me. "I never wanted the damn baby; that was all your doing. I went along with it because it's what you wanted. I was happy enough waiting to let nature take its course. I never cared about the baby." I realised I was screaming that loudly the neighbours would probably hear, but I didn't care. I was past caring.

She winced as my words washed over her, "Fetu, that's not true, it was all we talked about, we planned our life around conceiving and making our family complete."

"No!" I hissed caustically, "You planned it, not me, you never even asked me before you stopped taking the contraceptive pill. That was all you. Once I was tested, it was you who drove everything towards conception. I was nothing but an unwitting passenger."

My screaming woke Luka, and Lucy rushed inside to pick him up and nurse him. She wandered back with him in her arms, rocking him to and fro, "Could you please give him a cuddle while I get his wind medicine?"

Shaking my head, I snarled, "No, he's not mine. Call Sione, and see whether he can do it for you!" Again, my voice screeched and Luka reacted badly, screaming himself into a frantic tantrum.

Lucy looked shocked. "Please, Fetu. I need your help, and can we talk quietly?"

I shook my head as she held Luka out to me pleadingly, "Fetu, he is our child. You love him, you know you do, and he loves you... please, just cuddle him so we can get him to sleep."

"No, Lucy, you wanted him, you've got him. You deal with it."

She turned, her body shuddering as she broke into tears, rushing back to the bedroom with both of them in tears.

After the fourth beer I felt a little groggy and decided to sleep on the sofa. Grabbing a blanket, I curled up on the sofa, hoping that sleep would carry away the pain.

I don't know what time it was when Lucy came our and lay down beside me. I woke to find her under the blanket, her hands running softly over my face, through my hair. "Fetu, what can I do to make things right? I want to take away the pain."

"There's nothing you can do, Lucy. You betrayed me, you had sex with my brother. You know damned well how much I hate Sione. We haven't got on for years, and you did that. You couldn't have picked a worse person if you tried. You have destroyed our family."

"We can make things right, honey; please, just take a deep breath and we can get past this. I'm sorry I didn't think things through, at the time it seemed like the right thing to do, but now I see how wrong it was."

When I didn't respond, she whispered, "We can't change it, Fetu, we are in this together. I can see it hurts, but we can get past it, we both love Luka, we can make it work because we have to... we are a family."

The funny thing is, in Samoan culture, family is the most important thing. It is family above everything, and the Croatian culture is very similar. Croats, from what I had witnessed since joining her family, seemed even more family oriented, although they were much stricter. Divorce is not something that happens in Samoan culture, not the old culture anyway.

She lay beside me and whispered wetly in my ear, "We could make love, start again." Her hand settled between my legs, caressing my penis, stroking lightly, up and down. Her hand moved lower and gently cradled my balls, squeezing them lightly before moving back to my dick. Even with the anger flowing through my body, I felt a little twitch.

I grabbed her hand lifting it off my crotch, "There is no us, Lucy, not anymore. All I feel is pain and betrayal. We are no longer a family, I will move out in the morning, find somewhere else to live."

She sat bolt upright. "You don't mean that... you are just angry. Please Fetu just let the anger go, we can get past this if you just open your heart. I will do anything to make it better."

I sniggered. "Some things can't be undone. Like a crystal bowl: you drop it and it shatters into a million pieces. Even if you could gather all the pieces and glue it back together, the cracks would still be there forever."

She sat staring down at me, her eyes pleading, her hand stroking my cheek, "I'm sorry, my love, I have hurt you but we have to put it behind us, we have to find a way to make it work."

Cynically I chuckled. "No, we don't, Luce. What's done is done, and it can't be undone. You wanted this baby so much you were prepared to break the foundations of our marriage... trust... respect, they're all gone."

In tears, she stood up and wandered back to the master bedroom, her body wracked with sobs. I couldn't sleep, It was impossible to find any peace, my mind spun crazily thinking... considering... what to do.

I got up early, exhausted, but I decided to go to work. I walked into the master bedroom to collect some clothes. Lucy and Luka were cuddled up in the bed, sound asleep. She, like me, had struggled to sleep; I heard her sobbing through the night. Sleep obviously overwhelmed her, and now she didn't even budge.

I was at work when my mobile went. It was Lucy. "Why didn't you wake me? I would have got you breakfast like I always do."

"Because I need to start learning to look after myself. I will be living alone for a while, at least until I find a new partner."

The phone erupted in my hand as she yelled, "You are not leaving... we are a family... we are meant to be together." That was the gist of the conversation, but it was littered with obscenities as she vented. I waited until she calmed down and we were both listening, waiting. I mumbled, "I won't be home tonight so don't wait up."

I disconnected the call and turned my phone off. That didn't help because she called the office, which only incensed me more. Again I hung up and walked out, asking Sylvia, our receptionist, not to patch through any calls from her. Sylvia looked confused and I had to explain we were having a few issues and were in the middle of a fight.

She smiled, nodding. "Okay, boss."

I got some peace and tried to focus on work. My mind cleared, and resolve built quickly. I wasn't going back home. Lucy and I were done and dusted; I was, however, going to need somewhere to stay.

At lunch, I picked up the Herald newspaper and headed straight for the to-let classifieds. I quickly found a woman who was renting out a room; I was about to become a lodger. I paid two weeks in advance; two weeks should be enough to find something permanent.

Back at the office, I turned my phone back on and it blew up... there were literally hundreds of messages, not only from Lucy, but Mum and Dad, Lucy's dad. I was swamped. I decided to just turn it back off; I needed to focus on work.

That night as I laid in my little single bed at the lodgings, I opened my phone. The first thing was to call Mum. It was with great reluctance that I pressed dial, I didn't know how much Lucy had told them, and I was not looking forward to this at all. "Hello, Mum, you left a message?"

I heard her sigh. "Thank god. What is all this rubbish about you walking out on Lucy and Luka? Son you have responsibilities now, you are a father, with a baby boy. You can't just walk away."

My mother was the centre of our family hub. She was the core, and I had never in my life spoken back to her. It was with trepidation that I muttered, "I can do what I like, Mum, I have decided to leave. Lucy and I will be getting a divorce."

"Like hell you will," she screamed. "I don't know what has come over you, boy, but you are not bringing our family into disrepute. You need to go home right now and talk to your wife. She needs you, you have a son now and he also needs you. Stop all this silly talk and go home. Faaloalo, son,Faaloalo, family is everything."

"Mum, you're not listening. I said our marriage is over, there is no family."

"Oh, my lord... you children today, you're as bad as Sione. You think just because you have a little fight you can walk away. Life and family is not like that; you have responsibilities."

"Forget it, Mum, we are finished." I hung up as I heard her and Dad talking. She was about to get him to start on me, so hanging up was my only option.

The next day at work I got inundated by calls from some of the cuzzies who lived in Auckland. Mum had apparently sent them to talk to me. They walked into the building and barged straight into my office to hold a meeting. They brought one of the elders from the church to try and talk to me.

When my boss saw the huge gathering, he walked into the middle of the growing mass, "Are you all right, Fetu?" He glanced around the group, "Should I ring the police?"

I could see my uncle about to say something, so I interjected, "No need for the police, they were just leaving," I snapped. I stood quickly and herded them unceremoniously out onto the street. "Are you trying to get me fired, Uncle?"

He reached out and pulled me into his arms, "We are here for you, your mum and dad are on a plane already. We are going to have a gathering at my place tonight. You need to come."

I shook my head. "I won't be there. Tell Mum and Dad they wasted their time. Now, please go. I am going to be in enough trouble already."

They left reluctantly, after many hugs.

Back inside my boss tackled me; he wanted to know what the hell was going on. I outlined briefly that I was having difficulties in my marriage and that the family was trying to intervene. He listened carefully, but was quick to point out what happened today could not happen again. He left me feeling uneasy. I knew if I didn't see my parents that night, they would turn up the next day.

After work, I got a bite to eat at a sushi place as I pondered what to do. I definitely didn't want to do the full council thing, so I sent Mum a message, 'Meet me at our place tonight if you want to talk.'

She replied straight away, 'We are already here and we are waiting.'

I jumped on the bus and headed for home. There were no strange cars in the driveway, so it looked like it was just going to be us, no tribal council or church elders. I swung open the door and saw them all sitting in the living room. Lucy gave me a pleading glance as I walked in, Mum bounced Luka on her knee, Dad walked up to me and pulled me into a big hug. There was no fighting Dad, he was immovable.

As he let go, I said, "Hi, thanks for coming."

Lucy jumped up to hug me, but I stuck out my hand, pushing her in the chest and shaking my head, "No, Luce, you gave up that right."

Mum scolded me. "Stop it, Fetu, behave like a man. She is your wife and has privileges."

"Not anymore, she doesn't. I told you, Mum, we are finished."

Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Son, I don't know what has happened, but family is important, mistakes can be forgiven. What is important is we stick together through thick and thin, good times, bad times, but family always comes first."

Mum asked, "Why are you behaving like this anyway? Why have you abandoned your wife and child?"

"Because our marriage is over, end of story. If I wanted to talk about this, I would have called you. This is none of your business."

I felt my father's arm squeeze me tight, "Everything that happens in this family is our business; you are our son."

"Yeah, well this is between Lucy and me, so butt out." God, where did that come from... I had never questioned, or yelled at my father.

"You are not too big for me to deal you a very strong beating, Fetu. Do not talk to your mother that way; you must respect your elders."

Mum interrupted, "If you had kept going to church, this wouldn't have happened. Now sit down and tell us what happened."

I snapped back caustically, "You better ask Lucy, because I'm not talking about it."

They both turned to Lucy and she burst into tears. Mum cuddled her as they sat side by side. "There, there, child, breathe, tell us what happened so we can put it right."

Something about her tone told me she already knew. I saw it in her eyes, the wily old fox knew.

"Stop all the bullshit, Mum. We all know what happened."

She glared at me angrily, "All right, if that's the way you want to play." She kissed Luka, before snapping, "Fetu, she made a mistake, she wanted a family, she did the wrong thing. She admits, it was a mistake, but this cannot be undone. It happened. Forgiveness is going to be the most important part of fixing this problem."

She held Luka up as he giggled and cooed. "This child comes from our blood, he is part of our family and he is your son. You need to act like a man, not a petulant child."

"Not now, not ever... sorry, Mum, but something's cannot be forgiven. Oh, and by the way, tell Sione I am coming for him, as well. Our next meeting will be our last."

Dad pushed me away. "Son, Sione did a bad thing, just like Lucy, but if you think about it properly, you now have the child you always wanted, you have a family now. If you look upon it as a gift rather than something bad, you will find a way forward."

I laughed. "There is a way forward for me, and it is divorce. At this point, it is just Lucy and me, but if you keep pushing, it will be the end for us, as well."

He gripped me with both hands, his strong fingers digging into my shoulders, stared into my eyes and shook me violently, "There will be no divorce. We will not be dishonoured. You will not bring disgrace upon our household. Stand up and be a man, look at your beautiful son and thank god for what you have."

We were at a deadlock. Lucy, who had remained silent, suddenly spoke up, "Fetu, I said sorry, I apologised and I promised to do anything in my power to make you happy. I will spend the rest of my days paying for my sins, but I will never again do anything to hurt you. I made a mistake, please I am begging you for all our sakes, forgive me, let us start again."

With a snarl, I snapped, "You want to start again? Okay, I'm prepared to consider that. There is only one prerequisite."

She sighed deeply, the fear clearly visible. "What is that?"

"You give Luka to Sefina and Sione, so he can live with his father."

Shocked, she screamed, "What... I am not giving up Luka, you are his father, how can you say that?"

"I am not his father, never was and never will be. My name is going to be expunged from his birth certificate. If Sione, isn't man enough to step up, then he will go down as father unknown. My requirements are if you want to try again, we start from scratch."

I could see Mum and Dad mulling over my demands. This wasn't a bad outcome for them they would get to keep Luka in the family. Lucy, on the other hand, looked pale. She was clever enough to know she was losing her support. My parents were contemplating.

After a dark silent minute, she spluttered, "I am not giving up Luka... never."

I shrugged. "So be it then. I will see a solicitor as soon as possible."

I pushed Dad's hands off my shoulder. "I'm leaving, and for god's sake stay away from work. Uncle just about got me fired today. My boss doesn't understand Samoan culture, and he will not tolerate goings on like today."

I walked up to the bedroom, and pulling down two suitcases, started to pack. I was halfway through packing when Lucy walked in. "Mum and Dad have taken Luka to Uncles place so we can talk."