Truth Doesnt Matter

It was easier than I thought getting into my truck, starting the motor and backing out of the drive. I was leaving the house I had called home for the last 9 years with Connie. We had purchased the place before me married and had moved in after the honeymoon. Somehow I thought it would be harder to move on as it is said.

In ten minutes I was on the interstate heading north. I was on I-45 heading to Dallas. There I would take I-35 toward OKC then on to Kansas City before turning north again. My destination was Minneapolis. I had arranged a transfer much to my supervisor's dismay. He had warned me that it got cold there in the winter and I would have to shovel snow. I laughed and said I was use to the cold. He looked at me and shrugged.

I was clearing the city when I began to think of what had led up to this. It had started just over a year ago. A close friend of Connie had come by my office at quitting time. She said her car was in the shop and she needed a ride home. In truth I never had much need for the woman, I felt she was too high maintenance. In other words she was a total bitch. But I tolerated her because she had been my wife's best friend since grade school.

When we go to her place she asked me up. I said 'no thanks' I had to be getting home. She told me she knew Connie was out of town so I need not rush. She offered to cook. I knew something was up there because she hates to cook. And as she sat in the seat she began to pull her skirt up slowly as she continued to ask me. Soon she was showing me more than I should have seen. She commented that she hated to wear panties, a fact she proved. And as she pulled the skirt up a little farther she confirmed she had been recently waxed.

I told her it was time for her to get out. She pouted and said I didn't know what I was missing. I just looked at her. She then tried, "Who will know?" I replied, "I would." With that she gave up and smiled. "Can't blame a girl for trying."

She got out and I drove away without looking back. I guess right then I should have realized it wasn't over, but dumb old me never gave it another thought. I had no intention of telling Connie but did decide to never be sucked by Ann again.

So that is what started the drive I was on. I took stock. I had just turned 34. I stood 6' tall, in actuality I was just a fraction short but I still said 6'. I was close to 200 pounds and could stand to lose about 10 or so. My hair I keep short but it's still brown like my eyes. Guess I'm not too bad looking and always felt lucky to have Connie. She was a real knockout.

She was just short of beautiful. Long dark hair, dark eyes, full red lips and a body that was perfect. Breasts that I make me drool and a bottom I could never keep my hands off of. She was still beautiful but I just felt so distant. She was more like a stranger or a TV character I had become so familiar with through the years.

So I had left her behind. Only physically for I had not yet completed my mourning for the love I had lost. I had always felt that we would grow old together and die in one another's arms. But that was not to be. But since I had a big part of me die, it didn't seem the loss that it might have.

With nothing to do but drive I let my mind reconstruct the events thinking perhaps I could have done something differently.

It had been six months since that April day when I have given Ann a ride home. Connie had come home as angry as I had ever seen her. I asked her what the problem was and she just glared at me. Without a word she went to the bedroom and slammed the door. That was a little unusual but not completely out of the norm. Connie did have a temper but all the other times she had blasted me with her wrath without hesitation.

She didn't come out of the bedroom for over an hour. When I went to check on her she was in her nightgown sitting at her vanity brushing her hair. Seeing me in the reflection she demanded I leave. Not wanting to stay where I was unwelcome I grabbed some clothes for the next day and retreated. I slept in the spare bedroom half expecting Connie to come looking for me. That would have been a mixed blessing. If she came it would be to express some displeasure.

I went to work without a word from her. I called her twice but she didn't answer either. I knew she had caller ID and felt when she saw my number she let it go to voice mail. That was OK though, but she would know I called.

That evening I beat her home but I wasn't shocked. When she wasn't in by 9 I tried her cell. I left a message and was getting a little angry myself. At eleven I was trying to sleep when my phone range. It was Connie. She had been drinking. That was obvious in her speech. With a few short sentences she informed me she wouldn't be in that evening. She had had a little too much to drink and was at a friends.

That set me off but she hung up before I could get much in. I got up and waited a while wondering what to do. At midnight I tried her phone and it went straight to voice mail. I was not only mad I was upset but couldn't do a thing about it. The next day at the office I am sure everyone was aware of my mood.

That night I stopped for a drink. I was going to be late too. I was and didn't roll in till midnight. I did find Connie's car in the garage and the motor was cold. I knew she had beat me by at least an hour. I went in expecting a scene. It was not to be. The house was dark. I felt my way to the bedroom. I found the door locked.

Feeling the liquor and the exhaustion I went to the spare bed and fell across it. I woke the next morning a little late and found I was alone. Connie had already gone.

Lucky for me that was Friday morning. I went to work a little late and made the best of the day. I didn't call Connie but I did call a friend, a male friend that worked with her to make sure Connie had made it. All he could confirm was her car was in the parking lot.

Friday night I went in to find her waiting for me. She had a glass of wine and a sober expression. I was greeted with "We Need To Talk". As most married men will testify, then means she was about to talk and you are expected to listen intently.

She began, "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Well yes there was but I didn't think it was the time to tell her she was acting like a bitch. I also thought of the old saying, "I'll wait for her to tell me what I done wrong, I ain't a gonna confess to sumthin she don't already know about!"

When I remained silent she opened up. "I didn't think you would confess on your own. But I know all about it. You can't hide it any more. I never thought you would betray me that way?"

Now I was in a quandary, what in the hell had I done? I tried desperately to think. I hadn't bought anything expensive. I hadn't planned a fishing trip out in the Gulf. I thought of the date, it wasn't her birthday or our anniversary. And what did she mean 'betray her'? I did have some naked photos of her but I have never shown them to anyone.

"Thinking of a lie to tell to get out of this?"

I looked at my wife of 8 years and shrugged my shoulders. "I would be if I knew what I needed one for."

"Oh come one Martin. Think back. You thought you got away with it didn't you?"

"Got away with what?"

"Cut the bull.....you know what I'm talking about."

"I haven't a clue, and if you want to keep talking in circles I think I'll go get drunk."

"The hell you will, you're going to stay right here till you confess and tell me why!"

"Why what?"

"Why you did it asshole....what do you think?"

The asshole let me know she was real serious. But what did I have to confess to? What had I done? I know I can be an insensitive jerk but all men can be, what was I missing?

I tried to remain calm. "Did what? I can't apologize till I know what I did."

"Oh Mister an apology won't fix this!"

'Damn this is going to cost me', I thought. "What will it take then?" I asked.

"I don't know yet but it will be costly, might even cost you our marriage."

That got my attention. This was serious. I began to think. What in the hell had I done? Whatever it was I sure had intended it to go this way.

She saw me thinking and made her forehead furl. Her anger was rekindling. Before I could speak again she let me have it all. "You though you could fuck my best friend and get away with it! Ann is too dear a friend to allow that. She told me all about it! I know what you did and I wonder how many more there are I don't know about."

I just looked across the table at her like she was crazy. That only made her more furious. "You asshole! You drove Ann home and wanted a little 'payment' as you put it. You followed her to her door and barged in behind her. She didn't really want to but felt it was better than ruining me by charging you with rape."

I was speechless. I remembered driving Ann home but even after her offer I let it pass. Hell I had forgotten about the tramp.

Well as one might guess the rest of the weekend went downhill. There were screaming fits, threats, crying spells and name calling. I was only guilty of some name calling but still kept up my end of the battle.

For three months we slept in different beds. We only had 'hall sex'. That is when we passed one another in the hall she would say 'fuck you'. I was at the end of my rope and had search out a divorce lawyer. A buddy had used him for his divorce. The lawyer was named Jerry Lewis but believe me he proved to be no comedian. He had been taken to the cleaners by his wife in a divorce, and he used every case to seek vengeance on the female gender.

I was about to suggest it when Connie came to me one night and said that it was time to patch it up. Our marriage was too important for the two of us to go on as we were. She called a truce and suggested we share the master again. I felt a little better but some of the damage was already done.

Nothing was quite the same after that. It was not a peace it was more an armistice. We both felt it. Then one night it happened. It was a Friday night and Connie didn't come home. I got a call at midnight saying she was spending the night out. I didn't argue and accepted it. That was strike two.

Connie didn't come home till noon. She was wearing shorts, a blouse and sandals. In her hand was a gym bag. She seemed happy as if nothing had happened and it was normal. She went to the bathroom and showered. With the door closed I checked the bag. Inside was an evening gown, heels, hose, a garter belt, a push up lacy bra, makeup, but no panties. Well that was not completely true. There were panties in the plastic bag that contained her work clothes from Friday.

I thought about what it meant. I began to imagine all sorts of things. And I do mean all sorts. Not just bad things, but maybe there was a company party and she went. She didn't invite me just for spite. She had her ways but I still loved her in spite of them all.

When she came into the kitchen she smiled, "Thanks for helping me unpack."

I took that as a sign she wanted to tell me what happened. So I asked.

Connie blushed and tried to look coy, "Well if I must be brutally honest, I had a date."

"A date!" I screamed.

"Yes a date and I won't lie about it like you!"

"What in the hell you taking about!"

"It's only fair!" she retorted.

"Fair?"

"Yes, you fucked Ann so I got my turn."

"Woman," now let me tell you Connie never liked to be called that. "I told you nothing happened with Ann. I don't know why you won't believe me."

"Go on keep up the lie. But I won't. I had a great date. Dinner, dancing... you know you haven't taken me dancing in years, but where was I? Yes after dancing we went back to his place. He was quite the gentleman."

"Gentleman?"

"Yes he was gentle and took his time. He make me feel like a woman again. He make love to me all night. And I do mean made love to me, not just stuffed his cock in me."

"I don't want to hear this." I said that but still sat at the table. I just wanted her to stop talking.

Connie knew she had found my button. "Yes he was quite the lover, he took care of me in every way. He was really good at oral. He might give you a few pointers. But his is much larger than you so I felt him in places you haven't been."

"I don't want to hear this!" I shouted.

"Why not? You don't want to know that another man can please me better then you?"

"I just don't...."

"Well I am glad I'm on the pill because he did fill me more than once. And believe me he can pump a long string of pearls. I had to swallow some. It was only right after he had done so much for me."

"What have you done?" I asked in a cold voice.

"Gotten even! How does it feel?"

I put my face in my hands and said, "I think I will be sick." And I was. I had to get to the bathroom for I felt as if I was about to puke. I didn't and after an hour the urge passed. I washed my face, left the bathroom. I grabbed a beer and went to the back porch. I was setting watching the sun sink when Connie appeared. I didn't notice it at first.

I finally noticed her sitting beside me when she spoke. "Isn't the sunset beautiful? It marks the end of the day and the promise of a new tomorrow."

I had jumped when she spoke for I was a little unnerved. I just looked over at her then looked back at the last of the sun.

"Yes let's make this the end of our problems. We can put them behind us and tomorrow it will our new beginning."

I looked at the woman again. I was seeing her in a different light. How could she be so casual about what she had done?

Connie was sipping wine. "I think we should make a new vow to one another then go to bed and consummate it."

That hit me as funny and I laughed for the first time in many hours.

"What's so funny?" she demanded on a sharp tone.

"Oh I don't know, let's see, a new vow. Why? You didn't live up to the last one!"

"Well asshole you didn't either!"

I just looked at her with as much hate as I could ever remember.

"Don't look that way at me!" Then her voice softened. "I still love you and want this behind us. Come to bed. I need you and want you."

"Hell, your crazy woman!" Again with the woman.

"What does that mean Martin Raymond Jamison." Connie reverted to mother mode using all three of my names. She knew that pissed me off.

"I mean I don't intend to crawl in bed with you. Go back to Mr. Big Dick. You said you enjoyed him more than me."

"I love you Martin, I only had sex with..." her voice trailed off.

"Get all your sex from him then."

"Oh I see! I bathed you know. I am clean."

"What you did won't wash off!"

"You can go and dip you wick just anywhere you want, then come home to me and expect me to spread my legs.....but now that another man has had me I am a tainted woman."

"I think the word is whore!" With that I got up and headed to the master. She followed me. I believe she thought we would fall into bed and make mad passionate love but we didn't. I got most of my clothes and took them to the spare room. She followed along with a sting or explicative that I ignored. The next trip was for my things from the bathroom.

Needless to say it was a cold Saturday night in Houston and an even colder Sunday.

I accepted the facts and went to work. It was time for me to do something. I worked on the transfer and gave all I had to Jerry Lewis. I do believe he was most delighted with the case.

That was just over two weeks ago and now I'm alone on my way to Minneapolis. The drive as lonely and I felt the loss more than I could have imagined. I had intended to drive into Kansas before stopping, but instead made the drive straight through. It wasn't I wanted to, I was just afraid if I stopped I might sleep on my decision and turn around in the morning. Nights, sleepless nights can be such a hard time on a person.

Rolling into town some 20 hours later I was ready to sleep. I found a hotel and checked in. It was Saturday so I paid for two days. I was not due in the office for a week but didn't want to sit in the hotel. It was a surprise to all at the office when they learned I was going alone. They had offed to have us, me and Connie a farewell dinner but understood when I explained. I was a little surprised that the news didn't leak out to Connie but she was truly surprised when I left.

I had planned of being gone before she got home but with a last minute sale and her being a little early I had to face her. I checked my phone but knew I wouldn't have a call. I had purchased a cheap cell phone and had my number transferred to it. I then got a new number of the I-Phone I carried.

I had left the old phone hidden in den under the sofa. If Connie tried to call she would find it. I smiled but it was a sad smile as I wondered if she had tried. Maybe she was in Mr. Big Dicks bed as I was sitting in a hotel room at the top of the country. I had to push that thought out of my mind.

With nothing else to do I went looking for my new office. It was much easier to find than I had imagined. I thought all cities were like Houston, but I found different. At dinner, while eating alone, I realized I would need a place to stay. An apartment would do. Hopefully at least partially furnished.

Monday came and I was blue. I thought getting away from Connie would make it easier but it didn't. It is hard to explain, even angry at her it was comforting in a way to know she was in the house. I had to get over it. So I did all I could do, I went to report in.

They were expecting me but not that morning. I met my boss Bill and his secretary Jackie. Jackie was an attractive woman in maybe her mid 50's. She dress well and was very professional. It was not only her smile that caught my eyes but also the rock on her wedding finger. I didn't notice it because I fancied her, but more because of its size. If it was real a man that could afford it would not need the income of her pay. As it turned out, she was married to a very wealthy man that allowed her to keep her job. She had worked at the company for over 15 years. She took the position when her children were in high school.

Bill asked if I had a place yet. I said no. He asked if I wanted Jackie to line some places up. I was surprised at what she had for me by 1 that afternoon. As I was picking up the pamphlets she mentioned she had a daughter about my age that would be willing to show me around.

I thanked her but said I was married. Jackie gave me a strange look, then smiled. I thought she had taken offense but found she knew of my pending divorce and saw it was a subject I didn't wish to discuss.

"If any need to verify your employment, here is my card with my direct line. Most are new complexes and need the tenants, but they might still need to check."

I was off and rented a one bedroom apartment on the 4th floor at my second stop. It was unfurnished but they had a company that would furnish it and lease or sell any or all they delivered. I had Per Diem money and paid for the lot. I was settled in by Wednesday and ready for work.

It was the following Thursday before Connie tracked me down. She was not a happy woman by that time. She had received the papers for our pending divorce. I took some verbal abuse and tried not to respond in kind. I was at my desk at a new office and didn't want to air my dirty linen in front of my new coworkers.

"And another thing....it took me about 40 calls before I found that damn phone under the couch. You sure can be cute come times. Then at the office last Tuesday I got papers served. I only found you when my attorney demanded to know you address so he could serve you. I'm counter suing you...you...you perverted asshole."

That was not the hard part for me. It was when she broke down and cried that killed me. I knew I still had a love for her, but not as I once had. Still it hurt me to see her hurt.