Toxic Attraction

"Come on," Sarah's eyes flicked between her watch and the ascending numbers on the elevator's screen as her foot tapped loudly. It was earlier than she normally arrived, but she had a mess to clean up. She'd been mortified at being late picking up her girls. That never happened. The rest of her night had been like a whirlwind. Getting the girls fed with McDonald's and then spending some quality time reassuring them that mommy wouldn't be late again before putting them to bed. The whole night had made her feel like she was behind the eightball, but that's how her entire day had gone.

In her rush to grab the girls she hadn't had time to stop and grab the bottle of wine she had planned for. Her late-night bath hadn't been nearly as relaxing without it. She just wanted to take the edge off a bit after everything that had happened yesterday. Learning she wasn't getting the promotion that would pull her family from the brink of financial hardship, Dan lying, and Lester...

Well, Lester found the right buttons to push to cause her to open up her legs for him in her own office. Something she never thought she would entertain, blurring the lines between her professional life and her now wildly unpredictable personal life.

She felt like she was juggling all of these different aspects of herself. Her own different multiple personalities. The loving mother, the devoted wife, the stellar daughter, the badass professional, Lester's slut...God maybe not that last one. They all felt like they were beginning to blur and meld together, but that wasn't what she wanted.

Sarah wanted to be all of those things but be able to slide into one or the other when necessary. She couldn't sacrifice her professional or home life to fulfill her desires for Lester.

The elevator chimed, and the doors opened, snapping Sarah back to the situation at hand. Sarah stepped out into the administrative area of the building and began walking towards her office.

Her desires towards Lester.

She had been such a bitch the day before on the phone with Dan, telling him how much she enjoyed spending time with his troll-like roommate. She hadn't planned to say it, but it had just come out. Dan hadn't texted her all night, and her phone still hadn't received a message from him this morning. She knew he was already up and heading to work, but she felt a lot better if he just reached out to her.

She hated being the one to cave first and apologize. But she had just reacted to the way the conversation went. Dan had still been the one who lied to her in the first place and needed to apologize. Sarah wasn't even sure if she actually felt that way towards Lester, but something like a weight had been lifted when those words left her lips, as if she was revealing some unmentionable truth she had been suppressing.

Sarah wanted to think more about it and figure out what it was she was feeling but she'd have to do that later. Right now, she had to clean up the mess she and Lester had made in her office the previous night. She'd already left Lester's phone in his cubicle on her way up. Now it was her office she needed to tackle.

She passed a row of empty cubicles, many of which would be occupied within the next half hour. Sarah noted the absence of the janitor's cart that she'd spotted last night. That meant that the janitor had been up here sometime between when she left and this morning. She prayed that they hadn't seen or heard anything that went on yesterday.

There was no point dwelling on what might have happened. She had to focus on what was right in front of her. Sarah dug her keys out of her purse as she neared her office door. She turned the handle to double-check that she had locked it last night. It didn't budge.

Good. She used the keys to unlock it and slipped inside before closing it behind her. She locked the door before turning around and surveying the surreal scene before her. Overcast clouds outside the window made the office feel dark, so she flicked on the lights. The incandescent lights flickered to life, illuminating the remains of her broken desk. Garbage and other items lay all over the floor. Some personal items, like the broken picture frame, were on a side table where she left them last night.

With a heavy sigh, Sarah started to straighten up her office. There was no fixing the desk, and she was afraid to check the condition of her monitor and laptop. She focused on cleaning up the trash from the bin that had toppled over while Lester fucked her. Her mind couldn't help drifting to Lester and how he'd power fucked her the day before. Each piece of trash Sarah picked up and put back into the bin was like another admission of guilt at just how good and thorough of a fucking it had been.

Seeing Lester's lust-filled face transform part way through into something more hungry. That look he gave her. Its possessiveness. She didn't know what to make of it, but she felt her body respond to its memory. She couldn't explain it rationally. It almost felt like a biological reaction.

Sarah finished cleaning up the trash and turned her attention to the pens and other items previously set up on her desk. She took a few minutes to collect them and recreate the arrangement with her personal items on the table.

She caught sight of herself in the mirror. Even though she felt like a hot mess, her wardrobe was still on point. She loved the way her high-waisted cotton pants looked with the slim green button-up shirt she had chosen. Sarah loved to toe the line between professional and sexy.

She froze when she heard voices coming from the other side of the door. Holding her breath, Sarah waited for the door to open and for her to have to explain the carnage she was standing in the middle of. Thankfully, the voices moved on in the direction of the empty cubicles. Sarah checked her watch. It was close to the time everyone normally came in, and meetings began assembling for the day.

She cursed at herself for taking too long to clean. Daydreaming and thinking about the day before cost her precious time.

Sarah pulled her monitor and laptop to the side, away from the broken desk. She did her best to pull the cables out from under the desk, trying to keep IT things separate from building maintenance things. Even in her own personal mess, her professional side still wanted to demarcate things and compartmentalize them. Put them in order. There was still debris on the floor, broken pieces of wood where the leg snapped, but she decided to leave those, proof she'd pass on to maintenance - that one of the desk's legs must have given out in the night.

Crossing her fingers, Sarah put her laptop on the table and opened it, hoping it would still work. Thankfully, it booted up normally. She quickly composed an email to the facilities team telling them about the desk and arranging for a replacement. She would stop by after the morning meeting to touch base in person. She'd do the same with her monitor and laptop, go talk to Jerry in person, and get a favor to send one of his team members up to check them out.

More noise outside her office signaled her coworkers were busy arriving and starting their days. She rechecked her watch. It was time for her to head downstairs for the department head meeting. Leaning back against the table, Sarah sighed and surveyed the room one last time. Despite her nominal cleaning, things were getting messy, and she needed to ground herself somehow.

She could try to reach out to Dan later in the day. He'd said something about some news regarding his freelance clients, but in her anger, she hadn't let him finish the thought. Maybe there was something there she could get excited about. Besides, Dan was coming back to Middleton later this week, and she'd rather not drag out any awkwardness between them in front of the kids. Better to put it to bed now and try to move on. They'd get past this and back to themselves. They always did.

Sitting here feeling frustrated in her office wouldn't solve her problems. Sarah stood up, gathered her things, and headed for the door. Get through the next meeting, get her office set back up, and then tackle the rest of the problems at the hospital.

As she made her way to the elevator, she made small talk with a few coworkers, trying to convey that everything was normal with her. Sarah was one of the last people to filter into the meeting room before the department heads began to run through their agendas for the day. No one noticed, but Sarah felt severely underprepared for this meeting. Normally, she would have reviewed her emails and touched base with a few other people in the meeting to fully understand the points being discussed.

Today, she had been so focused on cleaning up her office that she hadn't had the time.

Before long, the meeting was wrapping up, but then John, the interim CEO, stood up. "Just one more thing," He said, looking around the room at everyone. His eyes seemed to skip over Sarah as if he was trying to avoid looking at her.

Was that because he felt guilty about fucking her over for the job or because he saw her getting fucked from the window yesterday? Either way, Sarah felt herself squirming in her seat.

"I'm really happy to announce that the board's CEO candidate has accepted our offer." John smiled, likely happy to be relieved of his duties as interim CEO. He didn't know what those duties were since Sarah was doing most of them. "He is eager to get started. So eager that he plans to come in on Monday to meet all of you as he gradually gets onboarded."

"Monday," Marcie, the head of HR, said. "That's so soon. We're not even remotely ready to get-"

"Let's make it happen," John waved a hand at her dismissively, "We need new permanent leadership here, so there's no point in dawdling."

"Can we know who this new CEO is going to be?" Jerry said from the back of the room.

"Right. Sure," John said standing up, signaling that the meeting was over. His name is Richard Thornhill. He's joining us after 20 years in the industry, capped by turning around a disaster of a medical complex up in Aurora. I can't express how lucky we are to have him join us. He has some bold ideas for the hospital that the board is really excited about."

With that, John briskly left the room, and everyone else slowly began to filter out. Sarah stayed seated, pulled out her phone, and opened LinkedIn to see who Richard Thornhill was. She quickly found his profile. Richard looked like he was in his late fifties or early sixties, caucasian with gray and white hair. Sarah suspected it was likely white hair that he was dyeing with streaks of gray to look more distinguished as the streaks looked patterned. She read over his past roles and couldn't help but feel small compared to the new CEO's impressive resume.

She looked at this picture again and decided she found his smile insincere. She'd better get her head on properly before Monday. The last thing she wanted was to get off on the wrong foot with her new boss.

Knowing that she hadn't been picked for the role was one thing. But now, seeing someone else who would be stepping into the role was something else entirely. He brought a ton of good experience. Would he come in here and question everything Sarah had built? Because she didn't have the formal education for this role, would he look at what she'd done and see how much it screams 'uneducated?' He would probably come in and make sweeping reforms to everything she built.

She felt her stress levels rising. Sarah breathed and calmed herself, balling her fingers into fists and stretching them out. Sitting in here wouldn't help her relax. She needed to keep moving, go talk to maintenance, and then Jerry in IT. All she could do was keep doing her best work.

A thought popped into her head. Before she realized what she was doing, she'd opened her texting app and sent a message.

S: What day is your birthday this week?

On the screen, she saw a reflected grin play across her lips.

***

"Alright, we wanted to go over some role changes here," Walt was standing in the middle of the office. Dan sat next to a vacant office chair alongside what remained of his coworkers. As Dan looked around the room, there were probably less than forty other employees left. When he joined this firm, it was well over one hundred. Walt was standing in front of the group, a few other senior leaders flanking his side.

"From now on, we all need to act as business development people. I want you reaching into your networks, in line at Starbucks, whatever we have to do. From now on, the company needs your help to bring new business in. I don't care if you are a secretary or an accountant. All of our jobs now include this duty." Walt looked frailer than usual. Dan could guess what this rallying of the troops speech was about. They must have lost another client, and the pipeline for new ones was drying up.

Dan's phone vibrated in the pocket of his blazer. A glimmer of hope spread through his body, hoping it was Sarah. They hadn't left things on good terms yesterday. He wanted to call her and apologize again for his lie. It wasn't that he'd wanted to keep the truth from her. It was difficult to admit to himself, let alone the woman he'd married. Sure, letting a guy watch her seemed fairly standard considering all the other wild shit that had happened over the past few months, but this time it made him feel exposed. Lester's friend Eugene was the first person who'd actively seen Dan enjoy his fetish outside of Sarah and Lester. Maybe Jesse knew something, but not to this extent, not in person. It made him feel vulnerable, a feeling he hated. At least, that's how he had begun to reconcile it in his head.

He had been up all night, tossing and turning in bed, trying to process his emotions. This is what he had landed on. The truth being exposed and making him feel small was part of why he had retreated and let the guy watch. Of course, it aroused him. Knowing Sarah was on display, but being seen for who he really was, that was something Dan wasn't prepared to deal with.

He was just lucky it wasn't someone from his personal life.

"Uh, sir?" One of Dan's colleagues had raised his hand. Walt nodded for the man to speak. "Will these duties translate into a pay raise or maybe get us back to where we were paywise? Since it's not in our current job descriptions?"

Walt sighed and looked at the ceiling as if the perfect answer to the guy's question was written there. When he finally dropped his head and looked at the assembled group, "No. That's not possible right now."

The man looked at Walt, wide-eyed, at the wall, then the floor.

Another one gone.

Dan had seen the look before. His colleague would likely be the next to go.

"Will there be any more layoffs?" A female voice spoke from somewhere behind Dan.

"Ummm. No. Well. The future is uncertain. We can't say for sure." One of Walt's senior managers piped in.

This meeting felt like the prelude to a slow circle down the drain. With Dan's newly appointed business development duties, he felt empowered to reach into his blazer and check his phone. His heart dropped when he saw the call hadn't come from Sarah. It was Bill, one of his new clients. Bill had also left a short text message, asking Dan to meet at a sports bar by his office for a drink later in the week to review the project.

Meeting for drinks or a restaurant to talk shop wasn't unusual. Dan would reply later, but he didn't want to arouse too much suspicion now. Before, he didn't think Walt would mind that Dan was picking up side clients, but now, after this meeting, it sounded like Walt was getting desperate. Dan didn't know how Walt would react, knowing Dan was drumming up new business. He might force Dan to run the clients through the company instead of on the side, to himself.

But that would be a lose, lose situation. Walt's company was a sinking ship that might fold in the next few months. Angering clients and blowing back on Dan, who was working hard to establish himself as an independent asset in the industry.

Dan's hand automatically rose to pinch the bridge of his nose, but he stopped himself. He lowered his hand to the arm of the chair and made a fist. Walt and his senior managers were still addressing questions from the group but Dan was tuning out. None of this was relevant to him anymore. He could tell Walt was getting agitated from his body language, but Dan wanted to talk this all over with his rock, Sarah.

The last time they talked, she had driven a dagger into his heart when she said that she actually enjoyed her dates with Lester. Enjoyed them. Enjoyed being with him. The conversation was heated, and he had lobbed the first bomb towards her. She had just been lobbing it back. Maybe it wasn't true, and she just said it was to hurt him at the moment. Things had gotten carried away in more than one sense. He knew that Sarah could get off with Lester, and it played into some of her fantasies, but she couldn't actually like him.

Dan reluctantly felt his cock begin to stir at the idea. He tightened his fist, trying to will the thoughts out of his head. His nails dug into his palm, causing a tinge of pain that he focused on until the thoughts receded back to the depths of the depraved parts of his brain. Dan turned his attention back to Walt and tried to focus on every word the older man said.

After a few more minutes, Walt, looking exhausted, thanked everyone for their patience during this time of transition. The rest of Dan's co-workers began to filter back to their desks. Dan took the cue to make a beeline towards his office, not wanting to engage with anyone after the disaster they'd all just been through. Closing the door behind him, he sat at his desk and closed his eyes, mentally preparing to call Sarah.

Ideally, he would just call her, and they would reconcile, but he knew it would be harder than that. It always sucked having these conversations on the phone - he wished he could just drive home and be there in person to talk it out. He would be home in a couple of days, but he couldn't let this fester until then. But he still needed to work himself up to have the conversation. He knew his wife and how best to get through to her. He wanted none of the hopelessness at his workplace to filter through.

As a form of productive procrastination, he opened up the email account he used for his side business. He thumbed through his inbox. Several spam messages and a handful of new contacts were reaching out to try and set up meetings. Dan's track record of closing new contacts into paying clients was pretty good, so some of these could actually be quite lucrative. He would just need to find the time somewhere in his busy schedule. Dan's heart skipped a beat when he saw a new email from Martin with Sentinel Securities. He opened it, started reading, and felt his heart immediately drop.

They wanted him to visit their D.C. office this week. Martin said his team would take care of all the arrangements and pick up the tab for everything, but there were pertinent, sensitive items that could only be discussed in person. Dan reread the dates in the email. They wanted him down there on the same day he was supposed to return home.

Dan pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes, and rested his head against the back of his chair. This wouldn't go over well with Sarah, especially not at the moment. But he needed Sentinel. They were his life raft to pull himself out of the mess at his current company. He couldn't say no, could he?

He thought of his little girls and how much he wanted to see them. But he needed to secure their future, too--the future of his family.

With a heavy sigh, Dan typed up a response to Martin, agreeing to the meeting in Washington.

***

Sarah hated feeling flustered. She tried to keep her head held high as she walked through the halls of the hospital. Her confidence usually came naturally, but lately, it felt like she was putting on a show, and everyone knew it.