Best Laid Plans

It was one day after Christmas. The four of us were sitting around the fire. The four being, my wife Nelle who is 42, my daughter Nita who is 21, my son Mike who is 20 and I, Bob Mitra, 43. We had just come back from a nice dinner and were sitting enjoying a bottle of wine.

"There is something that we need to talk about." said Nelle, "I do not know how to put it in any different way - I want a divorce. I will be moving out the day after tomorrow - after Nita and Mike leave. I know it is sudden, but I have found someone new and I am moving in with him. I had a talk with both the kids and they wanted me to announce this in their presence so you would not do anything untoward."

So, even my children knew about this and did nothing to stop it. I looked at the two of them and was not sure about what to do. What do you do when all your family is standing in front of you ready to strip you bare?

"I have this divorce agreement for you." She handed me a divorce agreement and I started to read it.

She continued, "I think it is best that you sign it right now. I am not in a mood to work for this marriage and honestly no one in their sane mind would. My only problem was the children, and since they are okay with it, I think I have all I need to move on."

"If you have everything, then why are you claiming so much from our joint assets? Is he a pauper? Or incapacitated?" I asked her.

"I am not claiming much." She said, "I think it is only fair that I get that much."

"Fair? A complete claim over my assets and my 401K is fair? What is this talk about mental cruelty you have written in here?" I turned to the kids, "You kids actually believe that she is doing everything right in claiming my business? Do you actually support her claim that I am an abusive husband?"

The kids looked shocked and Nita shouted, "What the fuck, Mom? I thought this man you hooked up with was loaded. The only reason I agreed to support you was because you promised me a nice house when I got married."

"I guess she was talking about this house. I can see that she has made a claim for this house too." I quipped.

Nelle, by this time, was agitated. She snatched the papers from my hand and started to read. As she read, her eyes widened. Her mouth was hanging open the whole time she was reading. She was trying to say something and failing miserably at it.

Mike spoke for the first time since the family broke up. "You are actually screwing me too by taking away my inheritance. I am sure that you and Adrian know nothing about plumbing and will run the company into the ground without dad at the helm of things."

Nelle spoke up, "This was not supposed to be the wording of the papers."

"Are you claiming that your lawyer made up these conditions without you asking for them? Did you even read the papers before you presented them to me?" I asked

"No, honestly I did not read this. The papers were prepared by Adrian's solicitor's. I haven't had time to read this since I got it..."

"Good luck with a man who is already deceiving you. I will have a set of papers drawn up and sent across to you for signing. If you do not like my settlement then we will meet in court." I paused, "Another thing, after tomorrow I do not wish to hear from any of you for the rest of my life. In case you come to find out that I have died, show some respect to me, and don't come to my funeral. A daughter who is ready to sell her father for a house, a son who is more interested in his inheritance than in his father's happiness, and a woman who is ready to leave her loving husband for a property stealing conman, are all something I can do without for the rest of my life." I was hurt and angry.

"If you did not read the papers before giving them to me, ask the asshole how these words got on the paper." I was enjoying it, "If you do not want to end up all alone you had better believe him when he says that this is not his doing. He will deny drawing these papers now that I am going to fight it. Fighting with him will leave you alone. I certainly don't want anything more to do with you." I got up and opened the fridge to grab a beer.

The three of them just sat there looking like prime idiots. I moved to the lounge with the beer and sat down. Through the window I could see Nelle arguing animatedly over the phone, possibly with Adrian who must be denying everything. Nita and Mike were in a heated argument in the kitchen.

I flipped my cell phone and called my best friend Leroy. You see, he works at Adrian's solicitors' office. After all, without his heads up about my wife's intention I would not have been able to switch the divorce papers that were lying in her drawer. My initial plan was to drive a wedge between Nelle and the Kids. Now, with her not having read the papers, a wedge was driven between the lovers too.

Who says best laid plans do not get better!!