Sidenote for non British readers, King Canute was a British/Viking king who famously set his throne in the incoming tide. He was seen as almost god like and he wanted to show that he was just a man and unable to command/prevent the tide from rising.
We have lived together for a couple of years or so, when you get an ´out of the blue´ email from a former longtime BFF that you were very close with for years. She is in town and wants to meet up with you to catch up.
So I stay home to work on the house while you go meet this old dear friend of yours for some lunchtime drinks. It's been a long time since you have seen her, in fact, you haven't seen her since we have been together and I have never met her. I have kept you too busy and all to myself, my bad!
I finish up ahead of when I expect you back to be ready for you. My reasoning is that because you haven't seen each other in so long, there is a lot to catch up on. So there could well be a lot of drinks involved. I don't want to be a 'stick in the mud' if you show up a little tipsy and want to have all the power tools tucked away in fear of you 'helping me'.
So now I am waiting for your return. The house is clean and I have showered away the sawdust that was in my hair and eyes, I am just watching a typical Saturday movie sat in my comfy weekend clothes, shorts and a T-shirt in my favourite arm chair.
I hear a car pull up and giggly female voices outside. I then hear your heels clicking across the courtyard, I love that sound, to me it's a sign of a strong woman, showing her sexy side. But there is another set too, so I conclude your friend is with you.
I stand to greet you and as I do the door opens and in you both come. I give you a quick kiss and then back up to hear how your lunch was?
You introduce me to your friend and as you do she smiles and says,
'I have heard SO much about you!'
and then adds, 'Your lovely wife keeps telling me all these wonderful things about you, you obviously make her VERY happy. I am jealous.'
Now, that's a little gushing for me and makes me uneasy, I reply a little embarrassed and off my game, 'Nice to finally meet you too. I have heard a lot about you also.' I exaggerate.
She looks curiously at me for a minute and then at you. Then she giggles almost uncontrollably.
Now I am puzzled and have to ask, 'Did I miss something?'
She gets a grip of herself and thinks for a minute and replies with less embarrassment and reservation than I would have thought, 'I was talking about you in the bedroom and so when you said that you had heard a lot about me too, I was thinking you meant the bedroom and was excited to have you picturing me in bed, but then couldn't understand how you would know and dismissed it'.
Well, that came off the rails quickly, I look at you with a blank look. I take a deep breath and both of you are waiting for me to say something, she is all smiles and you look like you are about to be told off. First, I tell you, 'That's ok baby, it's no biggie.'
As soon as I say that, she giggles, then hushes herself as she mumbles, ´Not what I heard...´
I ignore that too and try to address your friend 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean what you thought. I have no idea how you are in the bedroom, it's never come up.'
She giggles again and thinks for a minute. Then a broad smile forms and she says,
'Well, would you like to find out?' and she gives me a very flirtatious look, whilst reaching for her blouse buttons.
I immediately reply, 'Coffee, I'll go put some coffee on. Its that time of day.'
You say apologetically, 'I'm sorry babe, you are GOOD in bed and we kind of got on that subject and so a couple of drinks later I couldn't hold back telling her. She IS very persuasive!' Then, after a pause, you add, trying to salvage yourself, ´I did TRY to talk about the greenhouse...´ then you point at your friend and add ´No interest!' and you shake your head.
As I walk to the kitchen I do hear giggling and stifled laughter from behind me and I can't help but smile. We are all adults here, you feel almost compelled to tell others how happy you are with your love life and your attractive friend seems to want to undress for me and have sex, I should be flattered and if it were not for the alcohol you two have obviously had, I might take you two up on the offer. As I make coffee though, I can still hear snippets of a back and forth between you two.
When I come back with a tray with coffee and some cake on it, I straight away ask your friend how she takes her coffee as if nothing had happened just a couple of minutes ago. I figure the cake might act as a distraction too.
'With some whiskey please' she replies to my inquiry, so much for this ploy.
I reply, 'I think we have had enough for now. Let's try to get back to ourselves.', geez, I sound like my Dad...
We have been standing up to now, but cake on plates requires seats and I usher us to the living area.
You take your coffee and cake first as I have made yours to your liking, as I wait for your friend to fix hers, you go sit in my armchair. That's a little strange as you would normally sit on the sofa to be closer to the coffee table and next to me. So now the only places left for myself and your horny friend are right next to each other on the sofa. So, you obviously did that deliberately, what's your play?
We do tease each other often, so are you just forcing an uncomfortable time for me for your own enjoyment or are there more sinister things in the works? Sinister isn't the correct word here, more ´deviant,´ sexual undertones going on that I am unaware of.
