My wife and I have been married for 10+ years, but recently started to discuss some of her past and it has been a big turn on. As a result, I have asked her to submit a few of the stories she has told me so I can re-read them and get more detail. Below is a post from her that I thought this community would enjoy:
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In college, I dated a guy on and off for nearly three years. We met as residence assistants in the same dorm. It started out with some casual make-out sessions after a work meeting to full on friends with benefits (fwb) and then we hung out so much it felt more like dating, but with less baggage.
Anyways, that first year, the fwb and I grew very close and he also became close friends with residents on his floor. Such good friends that they decided to get an apartment together for the next 2 years, 4 guys in total. I was around so much those two years I was also adopted into the group of friends. Often the awkward third, fourth or fifth wheel, the only girl to join them at a movie or concert, or most commonly hanging at their place watching nerdy sci-fi shows or going to the bar.
They all flirted with me, but the guy I fooled around with was the only cute one and the other guys were a bit nerdier and reserved. The typical flirting was a simple sexist comment or an occasional ass slap played off like I'm just another one of the guys, but let me clarify... I am not boyish, I'm actually quite the opposite. The flirting was always funny to me because of who his roommates were. They weren't suave and picking up ladies at the bar, they were awkward and I was one of the only girls they interacted with on a regular basis.
After three years, it was time for my fwb to move out due to graduation. I still had a summer of classes to finish and his three roommates were sticking around because they had a full year lease on the apartment and jobs already lined up along with classes. Two of the roommates were a year younger in age, and the last was on the 5 year plan. Knowing it was only a few months and college housing is really odd in the summer, they asked me to stay in their apartment and take over my fwb's old room. It felt natural and I was able to avoid subletting and moving in with a weirdo, so I accepted the offer.
The first few months of living with them was as expected, we had some parties and went to the bar a lot. More drinking than any other semester at college, but otherwise similar to the previously years. The guys did flirt a bit more because they would see me in a towel or watch me fold clothes and see my bras or underwear, which would always spur a comment. It helped my ex-fwb was also not around.
Another example is that we'd often play beer pong to pre-game for the bars and without fail, someone would say it's "strip beer pong" even though I was the only girl. I always brushed it off, but on one occasion I flashed my bra after getting demolished in a game 10-1 and feeling like I deserved the penalty. They all cheered like it was the best thing ever and couldn't stop talking about it for weeks. Outside of that, the first few months were pretty straightforward
As we hit august, and with only a few weeks of summer left along with my college experience, I learned something new and surprising that changed the roommate dynamic.
After getting back from the bar one night, we all were a bit drunk, but still pouring drinks at home and with "dumb and dumber" on in the background. I remember that specific movie playing because it became awkward at one point. The guys were teasing me saying I should entertain them by stripping and that they had already seen me lounge around many times in my towel, which was true, and that they saw me flash my "sexy" bra when I lost beer pong that time, earlier in the summer. Per usual I just played it off like they couldn't handle it and replied saying "in your dreams, boys", and that's when one of them chimed in with "or on our phones." I immediately became alarmed and started asking about what he meant by his comment, probably a bit drunk and aggressive. Cornered, he explained himself.
His story was that back in the dorms when I was starting to date their friend, my fwb had shared a couple of pictures with them. He continued explaining that they were just a handful of underwear selfies and nothing more. Curious and also wanting to know how exposed I was, I inquired to see what he was talking about. He took out his phone and fidgeted for a minute, then showed me his picture gallery. In it, there were 3 photos.
All of the pictures were from a series that I was familiar with and I was very aware that there were more than just 3 photos in the set, but these were the most tame, and the lingerie set was red and full coverage. The first picture was me doing a mirror selfie and the phone was covering my face. The next I had my waist turned and you could see the back was a thong and garter straps holding up black stockings. The last was a close up of my chest. The lighting was actually really great on that one so I was proud of it and not ashamed they had it. I didn't like the ones that were recognizably me, so I asked them to delete, but told them I didn't care about the close up.
As he was deleting I realized the photos had just been downloaded from somewhere because they were in the most recent part of his photo library, so I asked him to show me the group text chain. As he gets there, I grab the phone and start going through it. Mostly it's just talk from the summer and about my ex-fwb coming to visit the final weekend, which never happened. When I got back to the beginning of summer, I saw the first photo of me, and it was the one with my waist turned alongside a comment that said "enjoy her," from my ex-fwb. This single picture was preceded by discussion of the summer housing plans and if everyone was comfortable with me moving in.
For a second I assessed the situation. Maybe it wasn't so bad, the pictures were no more risqué than a thong bathing suit. Plus I trusted these three guys now that they were my roommates and my ex-fwb didn't share the sexier ones. The conversation was fun and lighthearted, which also made it easier to accept. Then I realized it was only the single picture again. So I continued scrolling and not too much further I came across the other two pictures, and about 5 more from the series, which included a couple pics with my ass toward the camera and 2 topless ones, but cropped to avoid showing my face.
I immediately called out my roommate and the other two knew they were caught. They all started chiming in that they "didn't ask for them," and that they "would never share them," and how I "look great in all of them." As I continued scrolling I came to learn there were dozens of photos shared in their text chain over multiple years. Luckily, It seemed my ex-fwb had some discretion as they all appeared to be basic topless photos or me in underwear and if I was topless, he cropped my face out of them. I had sent him much more explicit stuff over the course of our relationship. In the cropped pictures it was obviously me because the uncropped photos were clearly the same room or lingerie/underwear set in other photo groupings.
Either way, nothing could stop me from being furious as I learned the scope of the situation, but I didn't know who to be mad at. I ended up storming off to my room with my roommates awkwardly silent and 'dumb and dumber' blasting...hence why I remember. I ended up texting and yelling at my ex-fwb that night, which helped get some of my frustration out. I also realized while thinking of the situation that I didn't even ask for my roommates to delete any of the pictures they had, and the more I thought to ask, the more I realized it was futile with backups that I'm sure they had.
The next morning I woke up to the group making breakfast, not unlike many mornings after a night at the bar. As soon as I came out of my room they started groveling. I was still mad, but not furious. It was hard to be angry as they made light of the situation and continued to complement me and tell me how much they enjoyed seeing a picture from him. And that it was all driven by their friend (my ex), etc. Things never went back to normal for the remainder of the summer, but it got close. There were only a few weeks left so we made it work and it became more of a joke around the apartment, again often resulting in the request for me to strip or "feel free to walk around in my underwear now that you know we've already seen it"
The last 2 weeks pass and we decide to go out for a big final night on my last weekend as a roommate and college student. I start getting ready too early which then has me sitting in the living room with a white towel on between the shower and applying my makeup. My roommates started to drink and prepare for the night as well and one of them put his camera on the coffee table, which was uncommon. I asked what it was for which he responded by saying "it's our final weekend as a crew, and I never use this enough...why, did you want to model off your towel".
I guess I should have seen that coming. This spurred the other two to jump in, reminding me they have already "seen my boobs" and "can revisit them when they want," which only reminded me that those dozens of images are in their permanent possession. They continued to push on the situation by stating "It's the last weekend together and you are leaving "forever"" or that "it would be great to send something back to my ex-fwb as a funny gesture." I leaned into the teasing and teased back saying that "he'd be so surprised, and I wonder what he would think." They continued to push harder and he picked up the camera and took a couple photos of me sitting on the couch in my towel before I got up without a word and headed to my room. As I walked away, I heard them ask if I was annoyed or if they went too far, but the idea of sending something to my ex-fwb actually had me entertaining some ideas.
In my room I thought for a second, then decided to put on my sexier underwear and matching bra, which is what I would wear out for the night. I considered it sexy because it was black with pink lace, the bottoms were more of a g-string than a thong, and the bra was probably a size too small for my C-cups. After a quick glance at the mirror to confirm how it looked, I then re-wrapped myself in the towel. Only two or three minutes passed before I walked back out to the main room.
When I entered, I was met with another group apology. It appeared they errored on the side of offending me. As they apologized I took advantage by saying, "it's fun to a point, but you can push it too far and that It can make me a bit uncomfortable," and as they all were looking at me...ashamed, I quickly pulled my towel apart and flashed my bra and underwear while saying "just kidding."
