The Solitary Man

We were sitting around after the day's work on Friday in the local dive we called our bar. The four of us were listening to Bill Chapman explain again how he had just discovered his wife of 25 years had had an affair a while back. The other three had offered him their support and pointed out repeatedly the cost of a divorce if he decided to go that route. The four of them had been lifelong friends and I had been invited into their group shortly after I had arrived in their small town. All five of us had served in the marines.

I had come to the town of Spuzzum on the coast after throwing a dart at map on the wall over10 years ago. Upon my arrival using a newly formed offshore LLC I had bought out the only grocery store for miles and had expanded it. Spuzzum back then was a logging town with a village population around a thousand. The nearest town was more than a half hour away.

Within a year I had built up the business got it licensed to carry alcoholic beverages and had tripled its size. The gas bar came later. The store carried all the basics. I now had eight full time staff and six part time. It took me a year before starting to build a log home on a section of land I had bought from a tax sale on the outskirts of town. My four friends had spent hours helping me to design it. Thanks to the fact that they all worked at the mill I had been able to buy the raw logs debarked directly at wholesale prices saving myself a ton of money. As a result, I now had a three-bedroom 3800 square foot two level log home that overlooked the village and the coast.

The only problem they had with me was the fact that as far as they knew I had never married and since my arrival I had never dated. The rumor mill labeled me as a clothes closet man's man although no one had ever seen me make a pass at anyone. The woman folk respected me but soon learned I was a bachelor and would remain as such. I was someone that all could trust, and they did. Everybody had a lot of questions about me but soon learned that I was a very private man who would not disclose much about my past.

I had set up the LLC so that the company paid all the taxes. Anything I took out for personal use came out of Retained Equity so when I filed my personal taxes it showed no income. I paid for everything in cash or by debit card. I did not even own a personal credit card. The only different thing is that I now went by my second name instead of using my first. The sign at the entrance to our village said, "Next stop Japan." No one knew I had come from the state of New York to off the Washington coast because of what had happened in my past. I often wondered what kind of idiot would name a place Spuzzum.

After the second beer we broke it up because Bill's eldest Son was arriving home from University that night bringing with him his fiancé. Bill's wife had gone to Seattle to pick them up. We were all invited over for a barbecue on Saturday to celebrate his graduation and engagement. Bill wanted to be sober and waiting when they got there. After all he did not want his future daughter in law getting the idea when he met her that he was nothing but the town drunk. Steven had been hired by one of the biggest Investment firms in New York, so we all knew just how proud Bill was.

I was the last to arrive as usual afraid once again that one of my friend's wives would have brought someone along in their ongoing attempts to set me up. They treated it as a game, because they were dying to know whether I was gay or straight. They're not knowing only fueled their curiosity. So, I tended to be the last to arrive and the first to leave. Connie Bill's wife saw me drive up in my old 1940 restored ford truck. I considered it my pride and joy.

"You got to meet Stevens girlfriend who's a redhead." she said. "Jennifer is twenty-two years old, has two sisters and three brothers. I fell in love with her the moment I met her. One look at her makes it clear that she's someone you want to know. I've learned already that she has a heart of gold. I wanted to warn you because we both know that when you see a redhead you get quiet, distant and sad. I have often wondered if it was a redhead that scared you in the past. I don't know because you won't open about anything. Grab a cold beer before joining us in the back yard."

After grabbing a cold bud, I headed out to their back yard to discover that the whole crew was there with all their kids and a few extra. Steven saw me and ran over to give me a big hug. After thanking me again for the hundredth time for covering the cost of his education he led me into the crowd so he could introduce his girlfriend to me. When he called her Jennifer turned towards me. My face went pure white. I became stiff and tense. I looked like I was seeing a ghost. My first inclination was to run. The path of the walk-in life forced upon me was about to be exposed. I wasn't sure if I could stay to face it.

Jennifer was in all ways a mini version of her mother. Jennifer was one of a set of identical triplets. The last time

had seen her was the morning of the day I had caught her mother and my brother in our master bed making out like two dogs in heat. I was so nervous I couldn't speak. She like her mother was a natural redhead with a body that oozed her sexuality. At five foot six she was smoking hot and had the curves in all the right spots. Like her mother the shape of her ass and hips was her greatest asset. Too much looking at her could cause a man to walk around with a permanent hard on.

When she saw me standing there her baby blue eyes lit up as if they were inflamed. Immediately her tears started to flow but it was the biggest smile coming from her face that informed me they were ones of extreme joy. I was on the verge of losing it big time because the pain, the grief and loss was staring me in the face. Seeing her as a beautiful adult, that warm smile made me realize once again just how much of my children's life I had been forced to miss.

"Oh my God! I don't believe it." Jennifer screamed through her sobs while expressing her emotional joy as she rushed towards me. "Your alive! I knew it! My heart never would allow me to believe that you were dead. We were all told by the family that you were dead and no matter how hard they tried to convince me I would not accept it."

The silence became so loud that we could hear the breeze. Everyone had the look of shock on their faces. No one had a clue what to say. They had to be wondering what this was about as Jennifer rushed into my arms. Everyone was dealing with a bit of shock and awe.

Steven breaking it said. "You know Charlie how?"

"Charles full name is Johnathan Charles Barnes the 3

rd

." Jennifer said between her sobs. "I know because he's my

dad. I would recognize his face anywhere. The family has always explained that he committed suicide because of economic problems but I knew in my gut that something did not seem right. When we asked about him my Uncle James my step

father always got very quiet. He only did that when he had something to hide. As we grew up, we discovered it was his way of not admitting or facing the truth."

I wrapped my arms around her frame squeezing her tight as she buried her face into my neck. The tears flowed from both of us. It had been 15 years since I had held one of my daughters like this. At that time, she had been seven years old. At that moment the love I had held hidden for so long exploded. Our emotions let go. Everyone heard our sobs. Knowing everyone was expecting an explanation I thought my words over carefully while trying to calm us both down. I have to say it took us both a few.

"I was banished by my family so they could keep their lies and secrets hidden. To them at that time it was very important to keep the family name, its public political image and honor beyond reproach. I was forced against my wishes to sign a non-disclosure agreement and disappear. This came about because earlier I had walked into my home to discover my older brother making love to my wife, who is Jennifer's Mother. I had just returned unexpectedly that day after dropping the girls off at school because I had forgotten my brief case which contained files I needed. I watched him possess and claim his ownership of my wife before I left." I explained.

"My brother and my wife never knew I was there until the very end of their making out. I captured their loving making in a video with my cell before I confronted them. They laughed about me catching them as if it was nothing. In tears I walked out. They showed no guilt or remorse. After showing my video of them to the Judge my grandfather, her family and mine decided they needed to clean up the mess so that they all could protect their important political careers. It was also done so that my brother the chosen one could marry my wife." I said through tears.

"Marrying a widow woman with three daughters would be an added plus for him in his political run. Time has proven that it was. For over fifteen years to those who know the family truth including her mother I have been the walking dead. Now I am just Charlie Barnes nothing more nothing less. If fate had not stepped in no one would have known the truth." I said sternly. "In my wildest dreams I never saw the truth coming out."

Everyone was stunned. A few looked like they were going to throw up. I noticed that Connie was looking down towards the ground trying to hide her own shame. I could see that she was trying to hide her flowing tears. She was beginning to comprehend for the first time the consequences of her own conduct from the eyes of another. Little did she realize that once the Jeanie was let out of its bottle nothing would ever be the same. No one unless they had gone through the struggle and separation would someone understand the hidden pain. Holding my daughter in my arms for the first time in years made me face the consequences of unintentional consequences of a family's hidden truths. At that moment I felt ashamed. It was then that my tears once again started to flow. For me and my daughter our mutual healing had begun.

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There were only two things that meant anything in life according to my grandfather. That was money and power. The rest was just plain bull shit. He had both. My first mistake was that had I went to talk to him after catching my wife and my brother. I was emotionally distraught. At that time the Judge was being considered for the supreme court and a scandal would have ruined any chance he had. By the time I had finished telling him what I had discovered he had already begun scheming with his legal mind to resolve it in such a way that the events would never see daylight. He watched the video and to the end of his life I have never heard him curse so much.

His first phone call was to my wife's Joan's father a Senator from Maine. He explained to Raymond Thompson what I had caught and recorded. I texted him the video file. Joan's fathers anger made it clear he was not impressed. He said he would catch a private jet out. They both agreed that nothing would be done until the three of us talked it all out.

Before making the next call, he turned on a program that would record the conversation he was about to make. With a cold look of sternness, he called my wife. Listening to a one side of a conversation where the names slut, whore bitch and other degrading name you could think of would have seemed comical if I had not thought of using them myself. He came down on her with the weight of a ton of bricks making it clear that she and my idiot brother had been acting like immature teenagers. If this gets out your fathers' career is over and so is mine. None of this would be happening Joan if you had learned how to keep your legs crossed. It would not have been a problem, but James is family and the mass media will eat it up. My Grandfather said the reporters will be claiming incest on the front page.

Putting his finger over his lips to signal for me to be quiet he put the phone on speaker then asked Joan if her three

daughters where actually mine. She said yes. My grandfather said well how do you know for sure. Perhaps since you have

proven yourself to be nothing but another man's slut we should have blood tests done to make sure. Joan became animated. In anger she responded that the affair with James did not start until three years ago making it clear that there had been no others. The Judge said why should anyone believe anything you say. She pointed out that she was on the pill because she did not want more children. So as far as we know James may not have been the only lover you had on the side. My Grandfather then asked do you love John. She said yes, I have always loved him, but it has now changed. I used to love him the way a woman should love her husband but now it's more like a sister who loves her brother.

Those words ripped my heart out. The Judge could see my pain. It was if she had stabbed me in the heart. The judge now in a rage witnessed my pain and tears. Joan said I guess James and I are at fault for that. If I have worked as hard at the marriage as John did this would never have happened. James saw my sexual attraction for him before John and I married and deliberately pursued me after he moved in. Joan went on to explain that they had allowed their physical attraction towards each other to lead them. It over boiled and I finally ended up giving into his constant attention. With Jim staying with us as he began to start his civilian life while John was on his many business trips our desires drove us to where are now. At first it was strictly physical. We did not realize it until it was too late that we had fallen in love. By then we did not want to have it end it. We were satisfied in keeping it hidden from his brother. We didn't think it out. I believe it was not our intention to hurt John! We had not decided what we were going to do until John caught us.

Sadly, I could tell from the sound of her voice she had no guilt or remorse. There was nothing, not even a little regret. She was not even ashamed that they had been caught. My grandfather saw the tears running down my cheek. Their destroying of my world was now complete. My Grandfather then asked do you love James again just to verify? Joan said yes after John caught us, he walked out. James asked me to become his wife and I agreed. My Grandfather replied so James has taken away from his younger brother his wife, children and his life. What kind of man could do that to his younger brother? What kind of woman would allow that to happen? How could either of you do that to another human being. Do you think John deserved this? Bitch!

Joan said we won't deny John his right to see the kids when our schedule allows it because James is planning a run for political office. So, whatever we end up doing it has to be handled quietly and delicately. Publicly James will have to become their new father. John will be the distance uncle. As you well know the courts are still reluctant to give sole custody to the father. My grandfather then said I guess the only thing I have left to say to James, or you are that after we have resolved this matter, I never want to hear from either one of you again. In my eyes both James and you are dead. He then slammed the phone down in anger.

I had never seen him that mad. Looking at me after being silent for quite a few my grandfather said remember the hurt, the pain and your loss. They have for all intention have made it very clear that you have been written out of their and your own children's lives. It would be better for all right now if you were dead because that's how they view you. What they flush down the toilet means more to them then you. Do you think they set themselves up deliberately to get caught? From my eyes it sure looks like they did. If that is true, then that is cold. The day will come when your chance at revenge will come. When it does show them no mercy, take no prisoners but leave them ruined and alive. Remember dogs always return to their own vomit. Dammit! I would not have believed it, but she is truly a conniving dirty bitch. She should have become a politician. I wish it was legal to kill because I would kill your brother myself. With that my Grandfather drove his fist into the wall breaking his hand

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"Remember Jennifer. It was never my choice. The two families decided it would be best for all after listening to the phone call your mother had with the Judge. Joan and James had put both sides of the family's careers and lifestyle on the line. I understood that they had to be protected to," I said while still holding her in my arms. "I can play that conversation to you later that will explain a lot of things but right now we need to calm down and enjoy the rest of this special day."

Jennifer lifted her head off my shoulder, kissed me then as she separated herself from me, she took my hand. Turning to her future husband she said "Steven my love, thank you for bringing me here. It brought my father back into my life. Dad don't leave before talking to me okay."

Kissing her tenderly on the cheek I agreed, with that over the barbecue was back on. After gulping the rest of the bud down I let out a big burp. Everybody roared. I heard Jennifer comment now that's the dad I know he used to recite the whole alphabet in a long big burp. Bill and I headed back to get a couple of cold ones. Jennifer was never away from Steven but the whole time I was there her eyes were always on me.

"You amaze me." Bill said "here I am crying in my beer last night because of my wife admitting she got chased, caught and slipped. Hell, she even admitted she didn't love the asshole. You sat there not saying a word now I understand why. What you went through makes me feel that what I am dealing with is nothing but toast crumbs. It's given me a whole new point of view. How you handled it I will never understand but I now see why you walk alone. Are you willing now to give me some advice?"

I laughed and replied "Make Connie go through marriage counseling with you. Tell her you need to understand what led her to doing what she did before you can fully forgive her. Each session will reinforce in her own mind the shame

and quilt she is experiencing. I noticed it when I explained why I hadn't seen Jennifer in so long. Connie still loves you that's why she feels her quilt so much. It will be a time period that will allow both of you to bring this situation to a closure where the healing and forgiveness will last. Oh, I approve of your son's choice for a wife."

That made us both roar and we returned to join the party. We had all pretty much cleaned up everything that Bill and Connie had prepared when Bill stood up with Connie standing at his side getting everyone's attention.

"Most of you don't know this but our son Steven graduated debt free thanks to a private scholarship provided by our good friend and my sons future father in law Charlie. Jennifer welcome to the family. If you have half the character and wisdom your father has my son is definitely a blessed man." Bill said.

Connie said. "to my new daughter and my son remember always in your journey as man and wife that your only human. At times there will be situations caused by the other that you feel can't overcome. Bill and I had thought we had reached that point, but we found some very wise advice. As a result, we will be seeking some outside professional help. Remember it's easy to say I'm sorry but not so easy to get over something if you don't understand why it happened. Never

let your pride get in the way in your marriage."

Everyone said that they agreed. Then proposed another toast for them. Later as I was making the rounds to say goodbye Connie came over to me and planted a kiss on my cheek then whispered thank you for getting my husband to give us a second chance. We will be seeking counseling to try to work it out. My family owes you big time. I looked around for Jennifer, but she was nowhere to been seen. So, I entered the house to head to the front door when I notice the two suitcases by the front door.