SQUARE I
I'd recently taken to rummaging through her pocketbook now and then when the coast was clear. Not looking for anything in particular, mind you, just quenching my curiosity. After 20 years and 2 kids together, it doesn't feel like snooping so much as asking about her day without the hassles of conversation. Plus, there was always the off chance of hitting the enquiring husband's jackpot -- her
unlocked
phone. Oh to be a fly on
that
firewall.
Besides, what harm was there? Truth be told, in all the time I'd been secretly tiptoeing through her handbag, the most interesting item I'd stumbled upon was a matchbook with the letters "HWHL" printed on the cover and, inside, one email address and phone # in black ink in handwriting unknown, and another of each in red ink by a hand more recognizable.
That was weeks ago. I snapped pictures of it and even tried calling both numbers. One rang endlessly and the other always gave me a robotic, default voice-mail greeting, so I quickly let it slide. Some snoop, huh? A regular Sherlock Holmes. Anyway -- It was gone the next time I peeked, so I pretty much forgot about it. Until today.
So there I stood at the counter above our "junk drawer," wrist deep in her genuine Louis Vuitton, the familiar sounds of the master shower playing lookout, fishing for nothing in particular, and reeling in mostly that: Phone (locked), keys, sunglasses, cigarette lighter, hand-gel, wipes, tissues, wallet -- the usual denizens of her bag's upper level. Entering a breach my rummaging had opened, my hand pressed deeper, brushing against what at first seemed the cigarette pack the BIC lighter had foretold. But my smoker's memories of decades past quickly dismissed that assessment when my fingers clasped around it -- definitely wrong shape and size.
As I pulled the small box out of her thousand dollar Canvas Tote, my shocked eyes confirmed what my hand had already figured and my heart had skipped a beat over.
Okay -- Three things you should know:
One -- My wife had her tubes tied when our daughter was delivered by C-section, almost 5 years ago.
Two -- The "Magnum" designation (technically "agnum" -- a store price-sticker covered the "M") embossed across the carton I held in my shaking hand announced the latex condoms within were of an extra-extra-large variety, designed to accommodate equipment of much greater dimensions than my own.
And 1 plus 2 equal 3 & she didn't buy these colossal cock cozies with hubby in mind.
Make that 4 things you should know -- at just shy of 40-years-old, she's still full-on hot and, despite some friction of late, I still love her like crazy.
But it seemed that my loving wife had either taken a well-hung lover, or was availing herself of the many quick hook-up apps out there and exclusively right-sweeping what Richard Pryor used to call "Big-Dick Mutha Fuckas." Either meant my marriage was in trouble, of course, but of the 2 possibilities, the latter was actually preferable as the former suggested perhaps I'd already lost her. Nonetheless, the
thought
of Vee living a secret life of sucking and fucking strange men large enough to sport the famous Magnum, made me at once angry, scared, jealous, and, admittedly, a bit turned on.
A familiar clunk from upstairs told me I had short time to decide my next move. I knew a photo might come in handy, but remembered I'd left my phone in my car. I instinctively reached for
her
phone, but knew, of course, it was locked. Shit -- If she weren't a stickler for locking her phone it would have certainly been my first stop on this "fact-gathering" tour in the first place.
Thinking quickly, I opened the copper-lettered black surprise package, counted the packets inside, removed and pocketed 2 (for no particular reason -- just for a spirit-lifting smile), then buried the box more or less where I had found it. I managed to zip the bag closed just as I heard her shoes touch the stair landing and I quickly danced the short distance to the fridge, which I held open and stared into just as she crossed into the kitchen. I can be as slick as the next guy when I'm being devious.
"Hi babe, you see my cigs?" she asked, giving the kitchen table the once-over before spotting the Vuitton on the counter.
Jeez, she looked great. Her long, dark hair was tied with a white scrunchy into a loose ponytail that swung back and forth as she walked. She was wearing jeans, loose-fitting but still showing-off her bottom, and a top that kept you guessing whether or not there was a bra supporting those amazing cans. She shot me her signature wink and smile as she unzipped her bag and spread it wide for a good look. In my mind's eye, I was watching her unzipping bulging jeans and nudging a huge cock out its fly and into the hold of one of her covert XXL sheaths. Did she seem a bit nervous? Perchance my love was on-edge, knowing her exploring fingers were scant inches from her secret, oversized, naughty playthings? They
were
buried deep in her handbag -- Maybe she didn't even remember they were there. No, that's no good -- they weren't there yesterday. Shit -- Was I overthinking this? I can be as overly-analytical as the next guy when I'm plotting.
As she slung the bag strap over her shoulder and headed for the door, one thing I knew for sure from my stealthy spot-inspection was that there were 16 gone but not forgotten, 2 in my pocket, and a half-dozen in her bag, awaiting their orders.
"Haven't seen them... Where you headed?"
"Ugh...," with a feigned look of frustration. "I told you yesterday, I'm meeting Debs for our nail appointments today at 11. Gotta stop for smokes and gas, so I'm leaving now. Should be home by 4. Danny has practice today, home by dinner, and April's in her room, drawing. Can you handle all that?"
"Have fun." If that came out a bit snide, hey, I'm only human.
She gave me a peck on the cheek, another wink and smile; then she, her slightly jiggling jugs, and the sound of her jingling keys were out the door.
Okay -- Time to sit down and think this through. What the hell was my "fixed" wife doing with a half-empty box of extra-extra-large condoms and where was she
really
off to? I know, it sounds like a stupid question from a pathetically naΓ―ve cuck. Holstering my wounded male pride, I considered calling her sister to confirm Vee's story, but decided to allow the love of my life to play her hand her way. For a while, anyway.
SQUARE II
4 O'clock came and went. As did 5. No call, no text, no e-mail, no Vee. Not like her .. not at all. Images of those enormous cock-socks kept dancing around in my head.
Phone in hand, I was about to dial
her
phone when her single-word text message appeared on mine:
"Sorry"
I replied without thinking:
"W-h-e-r-e- -a-r-e- -y-o-u- -b-a-b-e-?"
Nothing.
"U-O-K?"
More nothing, then even more, just in case things hadn't gotten tense enough.
I switched to phone mode and hit the "Dial" icon. It went right to Voice Mail. Shit. Beeeep. "Hey babe, call me." She never checks her VM, but what the hell?
Okay, this might not be what you're thinking, I began thinking.
Shit, maybe she butt-texted me; then ran out of juice. Could be pulling up the driveway any second, right?
Wrong.
Just then, my text alert sounded off. My eyes moved back to my phone. Holy Shit. The image that scrolled to center screen nearly froze my heart.
It was a striking close-up of probably the biggest cock I had ever seen outside a porn-site. It looked hard as a rock, glistening with saliva from top to bottom. And, holding it up like a trophy with both hands circled around the base and fingers teasing the very fortunate fellow's plum-sized balls, her mouth laying a flattened tongue along the lower shaft while somehow managing a smile for the camera, was guess-who.
SQUARE III
I stared in disbelief. But it was her for sure. No Photoshop. The real deal. No doubt about it. A purple hair-scrunchy circled the wrist-thick dick about halfway down and her hair fell freely across one arm. Best I could figure they were in a 69 position with him on the bottom, tongue-banging her delicious cooch off-camera, which was staged at his feet and aimed directly at the cock and balls my beloved was romancing. Strange though -- her ink-braceleted arms and sleeves were in-frame, and although I recognized the blouse, it wasn't the one she wore when she left the house, just hours before. I'm guessing this wasn't taken today, and that the show was just getting started. Not good. I moved into the bedroom and locked the door to keep potential prying little ears at bay.
After a minute or two, my breathing restarted just as a dozen or so more pictures threatened to stop it again -- each a close-up of Vee in various stages of kissing, licking and sucking that huge cock. And, judging by the ear-to-ear grin, loving every second of it.
As shocked and confused as I was, I couldn't deny how damned sexy she looked with his nuts in her hands and a surprising portion of his huge hard prick in her mouth, and I certainly couldn't help the strong reaction going on downtown in my Tommy John's, especially to the next image.
The coup de grΓ’ce photo was no doubt taken as this complete stranger cracked a nut in my wife's mouth, her hazel-blue eyes making a yummy look while the warm, pearly soup dripped down his freaky-long shaft from her cock-and-cum-filled mouth. She had freed one hand's grip just to caress his dangling balls as he came, as though hoping the action might increase the volume, duration and intensity of his delicious orgasm. Holy shit,
what a shot
. What a wife.