THE SEX COACH
Things had gone to hell politically and I didn't think things could get any worse. They could and they did. Quickly. It seemed really bad when I heard the words, "We have to talk." Nothing signals disaster to a man better than those four words.
I was wrong, however, because when my wife and I talked that afternoon her words weren't meant to be unkind or announcing chaos or bad news or telling me she was leaving. They were meant to offer me some comfort. After the 'we have to talk' announcement, my wife said, "With all that has happened this week politically, I was thinking you'd be feeling so down, so depressed, that we should think of something you'd really enjoy doing. Something to bring you out of the doldrums."
"Thanks, baby," I said. "That's nice."
"I have been doing some reading lately, about men in their forties who go through a traumatic event and are in need of a renewal, an experience that helps resuscitate their emotional energy," she said. "Research tells us that men at your age may need a sexual rejuvenation, especially after a tragic or traumatic experience. It could be something like having an affair or something of that nature," she added. "An experience to bring up your spirits," she said.
"Something like this," she said handing me a picture. It was a photo of a young bronze-skinned girl in a tiny white bikini.
"A picture?" I said.
"Not just a picture, but a picture of someone who can help," she said. "Her name is Glory, and she is twenty-five and hires out to help rejuvenate men's libidos. She even has a license as a sexual tutor. She is licensed by the State of Nevada to provide her services for money. We have a room in Las Vegas in two weeks and I have employed her to help you feel rejuvenated, to help bring you back to feeling normal again."
She smiled. "Interested?" she asked.
I looked down at the picture. She was gorgeous. Her breasts were medium sized but perfectly shaped. Her nearly naked body was beautiful, her hips were lovely and clearly exposed by the very brief suit. Her face was exquisite and her smile was sexy and she looked slightly bashful. I looked up at my wife.
"You've employed her?" I asked.
"For one whole night," my wife said with a smile. "She would be a prostitute here, but in Las Vegas she is a sexual coach, a therapist for horny male clients."
"And you've already paid?" I asked.
"Credit cards are wonderful things," she said, "especially for sex."
"And you were sure I'd say yes?" I said.
"Are you kidding? Did you look at that picture?" she asked. "Are you my husband? Yes, I was sure," she said with a cocky smile.
"And you'd give me a night with a sexual therapist to be personally counseled?" I asked with a skeptical grin.
"Not only would I, but I did already," she said. "I love my husband and I don't want him going through sexual distress. It is money well spent," she said. "She has been trained and certified to help men achieve sexual success and find physical happiness. You have her for the night. I will be in the same hotel with room service and a television, and slot machines just down the hall."
I kissed her, shook my head, and shrugged. "Okay," I said, "if you're sure."