The Seven Deadly Sins: Lust

I receive many comments on the length of my tales. Equally split criticism of being too short or too long. I thought I'd explain my highly complex system of deciding length. I begin with what I want to say. I start writing. When I've said everything I want to say, I write, 'the end'. Any questions?

This one is relatively long (28 'Word' pages). About the only thing original in it is the discovery method. Again, if what I think are original ideas aren't and have been done before I apologise in advance both to the original author and for wasting reader's time. As usual, those of a forgiving nature should stop reading now. Unlike many of my stories, this one does contain sex.

My beautiful partner in life and crime, CreativityTakesCourage, has done her usual fabulous edit job but be warned, as most of this story is written as diary entries, I asked her not to be too fussy with punctuation. As a thank you to her, you might check out her stories. They have an average score over 4.5, a feat not many writers on this site can match.

To the 1-bombers. Have fun and thank you for your precious time.

Lastly, I apologise if anyone has tried to contact me via the feedback portal and I haven't replied. They haven't come through since 2017. You can send feedback via my and CTC's joint SemperAmare profile. I reply to just about all of them.

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February 14

th

, 2010

Dear Diary. Yippee, Dave finally proposed to me today. On Valentine's Day, of all times, the romantic great lump. We'd been discussing our future for a month or so and tonight I finally answered the question he asked me three weeks ago. You remember, the one he said he was going to ask.

Three weeks ago, I asked him about his expectations of monogamy, if we finally tied the knot. I knew he was a little old-fashioned, so I had this great speech rehearsed. I explained that monogamy was a bit outdated and many people live the polyamorous lifestyle these days. He shot that down as not being acceptable to him.

Undeterred, I then pointed out that many females in nature mate with multiple males. You know how he believes that humans are just one of the animal kingdom. He shot right back, that most of the female animals at the top of the food chain had one mate at a time, lions, tigers, and even gorillas. He pointed out that many animal males will fight rivals to the death to protect their breeding rights. He guessed that I was a little reluctant to commit solely to him, so he told me to think about it and let him know if I wasn't willing to commit to monogamy, so he could stop wasting both our times.

Well, tonight, at the restaurant, I told him I was his and only his and he proposed on the spot. The sex when we got home was as fantastic as ever. Of the twenty or thirty guys I've slept with, he is still by far the best. I'll just have to force myself to keep my word, he's too good a catch to give up.

November 8th 2013

Dear Diary. Well, I lasted over three years, but it finally happened on my latest sales trip. I have to say, I have really mixed feelings about it. On one level, I'm feeling guilty for what I did, on another, it was fantastic.

As usual, on the second night of my trip I was entertaining some of a client's purchasing people. We were having dinner in a restaurant and the wine was flowing. Not that I'm using that as an excuse. After the meal, some of us went to the club next door for a bit of dancing. There was one guy, Stewart, the deputy head of their purchasing department, that was a really good dancer. He was a little younger than me and very muscular. On our third dance he pulled me close and started nuzzling my neck. I told him I was married and to stop, but you know men; it was a waste of breath. He just whispered in my ear that he wanted me. I don't know about other girls, but that statement just triggers something in me. Especially, when it comes from a guy who would have been way out of my league in high school. It just speaks straight to my confidence as a woman. It says,

screw the fact that you're just on the sunny side of plain

.

Screw the fact that you've allowed your weight to drift a little above ideal since you've been married. Screw the fact your boobs are a little smaller than average. You're a desirable woman and I want to fuck you.

He did me in the gents. It was quick, rough, and I loved it. Not on a sexual level you understand, it was over too fast for that. My ego just loved it though. A sexual alpha had been so attracted to me that he'd risked his own marriage to mate with me. I'm sure I was still glowing this morning, even though my wrist was beyond sore from masturbating all night.

I got back home a little after four this afternoon and am waiting for Dave to get here from work. I think part of the reason I weakened was that he was away between my last two trips. We haven't made love in ten days.

I don't know if I'll feel guilty when he gets here but there is none so far. I do feel a little bad that he made such a big thing about fidelity before he proposed and I promised to be true, but I wouldn't call it guilt. I had a flashback just now to when I first discovered my father allowed my mother to play outside the marriage. I was fourteen and supposed to be in bed. Mum was out and Dad was waiting up for her. She came home and I eavesdropped while she told him about it. Then they went to bed and I could hear them all night. I'm sitting here getting really wet thinking about telling Dave. That would be super exciting, but, unfortunately, must remain a pipedream. I can easily imagine my ass skidding down the driveway if I told him what happened. Ho-hum, a girl can dream though.

I just realised. I'm pretty sure Dave would never read this diary, but it's now pretty damning if he did. I'd better find a really good hiding place for it. Only until next year though. Then this one can go with the other old ones into the attic.

November 10

th

2013

Dear Diary. Notice I didn't write anything yesterday. There's a wonderful reason for that. Dave came home just after I found a hiding spot for you. He just walked in, picked me up, carried me to the bedroom and fucked me senseless. After so long apart, he must have been full to the gills. I clearly felt him spurt inside me. I just love that. Afterwards, we went out to dinner, then he fucked me senseless again. We pretty much stayed in bed all Saturday, talking, cuddling, and screwing.

On a purely physical level it was very exciting. Dave has learnt exactly which of my buttons to press and when. Yet, on a deeper level, it felt kind of hollow. I know Dave finds me attractive, he's proved that about six times in a day-and-a-half. But it's like he has to find me attractive because he's my husband, and that attraction doesn't have the same value as that of a stranger or an acquaintance like Stewart. God, the thought of a young stud like Stewart finding me pretty enough to fuck me like Dave has this weekend, is making me horny again. I'm going to find Dave.

Hello again. Dave is barbequing some steaks for dinner. Number seven for the weekend was short and sharp. I closed my eyes and thought about Stewart in the club toilets; it was so hot. We cuddled afterward and Dave mentioned again that we should start thinking about a family. I put him off as I'm a little conflicted right now. I'm really not sure if I can do this whole one man-one woman, thing. As I looked in his eyes, I was fighting not to tell him about Stewart. Then we could have gone all night tonight, just as my parents would have. Luckily I stopped myself. I've seen nothing that indicates Dave has relaxed his uncompromising attitude to monogamy. Shame.

February 3

rd

2014

Dear Diary, since I decided in December that I just couldn't do this whole monogamy thing, I've been planning on how to pull it off without Dave knowing. I haven't written about it here so that I wouldn't have to hide this year's diary. I've been doing research on my lonely evenings during sales trips. I've found a couple of sites on the net that describe how women who do what I intend, are caught. Unfortunately, those same stories detail what happens to them when they are. I always skip those bits. I'm determined not to start until I'm absolutely guaranteed that Dave will never find out.

I've decided to have one regular lover rather than a series of one-night stands. The latter, by their very nature, are unpredictable and, to some extent, uncontrollable. The last thing I need is to do something in the heat of passion without thinking about it. Besides, I don't get propositioned by men that often to guarantee a regular enough supply. I realise that this decision partly negates the reason I'm doing this. But the thrill of being found irresistible by attractive males and actually doing something about it, is just too risky.

I'll list all the precautions I've come up with here. That way I can get rid of the list I keep in my briefcase; it's making me nervous keeping it there.

Firstly, I've decided I can't do anything locally. That way I can't be seen by anyone I know when out with my lover. I couldn't believe reading about how some stupid women bring their lovers home. Too much chance of leaving evidence or being caught red-handed. So, it has to be out of town and absolutely no doing anything in public, obviously. Even in towns hours away from home, I run into people I know occasionally. Oops, got to go. Dave is home early. See, that's why nothing can ever happen here.

February 7

th

2014

Dear Diary. I had an amazing conversation today with Janet, one of the other sales girls. We were at a company seminar; an overnighter, out of town. Talk about serendipity. We got a little drunk and she just blurted out that she'd been having relations with men other than her husband for years without being caught. I think she was so proud of how clever she was, that she just had to tell someone. Of course, I pumped her for information.

She'd started off targeting married men, so there would be no emotional attachment or stalking type stuff. That was very nearly disastrous when one guy's wife followed him and caught them together. She only survived that when she begged the wife not to destroy her marriage and her kids chances of a happy upbringing.

After that, she targeted single men, but to guard against stalking, she uses a false name. When she is with them, she makes sure there is no evidence of her real name or which company she works for. That way she can just disappear if she has to. I hadn't thought of that. She only meets them at hotels when she's travelling and like what I decided, is never with them in public. That way someone who knows her won't observe her and tell her husband and there are never any unexplained credit card bills.

She has a throw-away phone that she hides in her work car. Her lovers don't know her email address or her regular telephone numbers. That fixes one problem that I was stuck on. She always makes sure she cleans up well, tries to have a 24-hour break between lover and husband and always insists on condoms. That way both pregnancy and STDs won't give her away. I assured her I wouldn't be stupid enough to pack lingerie when I travel.

Janet warned me about guilt and to make sure I didn't give the game away to Dave by fucking him any more, any less, or any differently. I laughed at that and said we fucked like rabbits whenever our schedules allowed, so any more wasn't a problem. When I told her about Stewart and my lack of guilt she said she almost felt sorry for me. Apparently, for her the thrill of the illicitness of it all and the guilt is what make it so exciting. Otherwise, for her it's just something mechanical to do when she's travelling. Then she saw the advantages. She told me that twice, her husband had out and out asked her if she'd ever had an affair. Both times her reaction had almost given her away. Surely, my lack of guilt would protect me there.

Janet laughed when I asked about P.I.s putting video cameras in hotel rooms. She thought that was pure fiction and almost impossible to do. Besides, what was the point? With no fault divorce and no kids, why gather evidence? That put my mind at ease.

She laughed again when I asked about the danger of falling in love with another guy, or just falling in lust with a huge cock. I didn't have kids to lose and so what if I fell in love with another guy? I was a free entity; I could ditch Dave or keep both of them. It was a win/win situation.

I told her that Dave sometimes surprised me by showing up at hotels I was staying in on my road trips, for a spontaneous romantic liaison. Janet asked how he knew where I was staying. I told her I always let him know. She suggested I stop volunteering that information. If Dave pressed me on where I was staying before a trip, then cancel the lover. Tell Dave what town I was in but not what hotel. That way, if he rang to say he was in town and wanted to hook up, then I had time to clear the room. She warned me not to lie about the town. How would it be if Dave rang to say he was in the mall and I was two-hundred kilometres away? Hard to explain.

Just before we said goodnight, Janet remembered to tell me to never remove my rings. That way I would never leave them somewhere or have them stolen.

That conversation just confirmed that I was on the right course. I still had some very minor misgivings about not being the wife I'd promised Dave I would be, but this is the 21

st

century, for fuck's sake. Cavemen have been gone for a long, long time. Could he mount an argument that I'd married him under false pretences? Yes, I suppose so; but I'd really meant it at the time, hadn't I? I wished once again that he could have had a mature conversation with my father about his lifestyle. Unfortunately, as soon as I'd told Dave about my parent's choice, the relationship he and Dad had, soured. Dave said he couldn't even look a man in the eye if he didn't respect him. When Dad asked about the sudden freeze from Dave, I told him that I'd revealed to my husband what he and Mum did. That was a mistake. Dad had no idea I knew about their lifestyle. I tried to assure him that I respected his choice, but I suppose the deep-down embarrassment felt by men living that kind of alternative lifestyle was triggered. Oh, I know they deny it to themselves and others, but watch how they have trouble looking other men in the eye. Whatever, our relationship is still cool.

Shit, I suppose I'll have to go back to hiding this diary. Got to go now. Dave and I both have the next four days off and he's planned a surprise weekend away.

February 13

th

2014

Dear Diary. Well, what a fantastic weekend. Dave rented a cottage at the beach and spoiled me rotten. Every night was a different restaurant and every time he told a little fib that it was our anniversary. We got spoiled by the wait staff, I can tell you. The first night we had sex in the back of the car, just like the old days. The next day we snuck into the dunes with our beach towels and screwed. Don't you think the risk of being seen just makes it so sexy? That evening we fucked in the surf. Good to do once, but probably never again. Water is a terrible lubricant. It was day three before we actually had sex in the bed. God, I love that man. I had trouble walking today but that may have been the sand.

On the way back, Dave asked again about starting a family. A few months ago, I would have said yes, but now I have a bee in my bonnet about whether I can get away with what I am planning. If I can pull it off and it's as exciting as I think it will be, then I'll continue stalling. If it isn't as good as my imagination, then I'll become a full-time mum. Janet agrees it's another win/win situation. I do really want a baby one day, and Dave will make a fantastic dad.

February 25

th

2014

Dear Diary. The planets are out of alignment again. I'm stuck home while Dave is away. I'm horny but with no way of relieving it. Maybe I should just give up work and have a baby. It's not like we need the money with Dave's career taking off. That way at least I will get laid more often. No Jen, you are strong enough to do this.

Spent all evening doing my expense claim for the month. It's a pain in the ass working for a company that doesn't trust us with a credit card. I have to keep all the receipts for hotels, meals, fuel etc. and claim the money back. Details were never my strong point. After the cock-up last year, I will leave the spreadsheet and all the receipts for Dave to check as usual. He's good at that sort of thing.

March 18

th

2014

Dear Diary. Well, that was easier than I thought and much, much more exciting. I was on my normal two night sales trip and dressed sexy to go to the hotel bar. John came over and started chatting me up. He invited me to a club but I said no. They're usually so loud that I can't hear my phone ring if Dave were to call. John is cute and about my age. I went to the loo and got out my checklist. It must be fate, as he ticked all the boxes. He's unmarried and owns his own business. I checked my memory. After following Janet's advice about not volunteering to Dave which hotel I was staying at, he hadn't asked, so being unexpectedly sprung wasn't a risk. If he'd asked I was prepared to say that I just rocked up to town to get the cheapest standby rates as the company wanted to save money. When I came out, I looked around the bar and there was no one even vaguely familiar. I just asked him if he wanted to fuck. The look on his face was comical, I guess he wasn't used to scoring that easily. I asked him if he had condoms, I didn't carry them for security reasons. He said he didn't as he didn't usually do casual relationships but as I was so pretty, he'd make an exception.

It was weird hearing him call me Sandy; the name I'd given him. He agreed to go find some condoms. When he came back, he was to tip me the nod and I would go to his room ten minutes later. Using his room would prevent him seeing my real identity.

I smiled to myself when I got to there and found myself looking to see where a P.I. could have hidden a camera. I reminded him that I couldn't be marked in any way and we got straight into it. There's something special about first time sex. Sure the orgasms aren't as good because you're unfamiliar with each other, but the sense of anticipation makes up for that. John was clean, considerate, and skilled. With his endowment and skill, I was one satisfied lady the next day, I can tell you. He seemed pleased with my performance as well.

In short, it was just what the doctor ordered. An attractive, virile man wanted me and not just for short term pleasure. In the morning he said he really wanted to see me again. My ego was very happy with that. We discussed how we could meet again. He lived six hours drive from me and we decided on meeting at a good sized regional centre, roughly half way between. I occasionally did business there, but knew I would usually have to take annual leave to go. As he had his own business, he could get away just about any time. I explained that I was married and my husband wouldn't condone what I was doing. He volunteered to book and pay for the hotel and even suggested he book a different one each time. With great self-control, I turned down his attempts at morning sex, I would be home with Dave later that day. John had to settle with me blowing him.

April 7

th

2014

Dear Diary. I really don't see what all the fuss is about acting normal around your husband while having an affair. I was confident there wasn't a trace of John left and I'd covered all my bases. I still wanted Dave badly and I didn't compare him with John. Dave is about love and spoiling me. John is just sex and maybe an opportunity to explore some things I'm a little self-conscious to raise with Dave.