The Questionnaire Ch 02

Thanks to all who gave your favorable responses to The Questionnaire. I am going to try to continue this in the only way I know how.

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I spent the next three days riding through the countryside and trying to collect my thoughts about what had happened to Janet and myself. I felt sorry for Josh and Betty because of the kids. I didn't know how that situation would turn out. But I had problems of my own that I had to determine how I was going to handle. Before this happened I had a friend that I could go to and talk over my problems but my friend was part of the problem this time as well as being my wife.

I dreaded going back to the house that was once my home. The love that made it a home had left and I could never live there after I had seen the tape of Janet and Brad in my bed. I had told Janet to have her things and be gone by Friday when I came back. I walked into an almost bare house. I had my recliner and a chair side table, the TV and my bookshelf with my books in the living room. In the kitchen there was a few mis-matched dishes, two coffee mugs (no coffee pot), one pot and one frying pan with various utensils. I still had a stove (it was built in) and a refrigerator. The guest bedroom was still intact but the master bedroom was bare. All my clothes were piled on the floor and the hanging clothes was still on hangers. She had left me two towels and two bath cloths in the bathroom. I guess she must have got pissed when she realized that I was not going to be a cuckold to her. I could live with what she left me because I was getting a furnished apartment the next week. The two cameras were lying on the table and the recorder was still in the guest bedroom closet. She had found them while packing, I guess.

Over the weekend I started going through the newspaper looking for apartments. Saturday night the phone started ringing and scared me because I had forgot about even having a phone. She had moved the phone I had put the recorder on to the master bedroom and it was behind a pile of my clothes. By the time I found it, it has stopped ringing. I dug it out and rewound the recorder. I had forgot about it when I had picked up the tape on Monday morning. The recordings started on Saturday of last week.

Janet said, "Hello."

This male voice said, "Baby, are you by yourself? Is the old bastard gone?"

She whispered, "No. Please don't call here again, Brad. He is going find out about us and I don't know what he might do."

Brad said, "I don't care what he does. You are my woman now and I will call when I get ready. I will be over tomorrow at ten. You be in your sexy short gown with the see through panties. I am going to fuck you silly in his bed. You better be ready when I get there. Ten o'clock."

She said, "Please don't come over here. I will meet you.... But she was talking to a dead phone.

My phone message was recorded on Saturday evening and the next call was when Janet called her sister. They talked about the family and what was going on in their lives but Janet didn't mention anything about me being gone. The next call was when I called her on Sunday and she had seemed out of breath. Just before she hung up the phone she said, "Damn it Brad you want me to get caught don't..."

I heard the sounds of her calling a number three times. It had to be a cell phone because after ringing a voice would come on and announce, "That number is unavailable. Please leave a text message after the tone."

The next call was to her sister who answered the phone and Janet said, "Helen, I need your help. Dillard has kicked me out and I need your help moving my things."

Helen said, "What do you mean he kicked you out?"

Janet said, "Don't ask me any questions. Just come over here and we can talk when you get here. I have to be out by Friday. Please come over now."

Helen said, "I am on the way."

She called work on Thursday morning and told them she was sick and needed the next two days off.

The call I had missed was Helen and she left the message, "Dillard, This is Helen and I need to talk to you. Janet has been crying since Wednesday. I want you to call me and tell me why you kicked her out. She won't tell me anything. Call me."

I called Helen on Sunday. She said, "Hello."

I said, "Helen, This is Dillard and before you go off on me, I want to tell you I won't listen to any of your shit. I kicked your sister out because she has been running around on me and I have given her six months to get her act together or I will file for divorce. Anything else is none of your business."

Helen said, "Who told you she was cheating on you? Do you have any proof? I am going to make sure she takes you for everything you own. You won't get by with this, you bastard."

I said, "I have a tape of your sister and her lover in my bed that says otherwise. If you try any shit with me the tape will be brought out at the divorce proceedings. Don't call me again."

I found an apartment and moved into it the next week and put the house on the market. It took two months before it sold. After I got settled into the apartment and my life started to smooth out, I joined a gym and started to exercise three times a week. I began to put in long hours at work, go to the park and to museums around town. I tried to stay busy and keep my mind occupied without giving in to the bar scene. I was still married and I was not going into the dating either although I had a couple of opportunities. I did receive a letter at work, through my lawyer, from Janet three weeks after the split-up. I let it lay on my desk for three or four days before I opened it. I tried to throw it away but couldn't bring myself to do that. I opened the letter one day and it started:

Dear Dillard,

I know you told me not to contact you for six months but I must tell you about the house and how it came about that everything was taken. I called Helen to help me and she talked me into taking it. She took over and I could not bring myself to tell her that all this was my fault and that I didn't want to do you that way. All I can say is I am sorry. I miss you so much but I know now why you did what you did.

I do love you very much,

Janet

The six months went by before I realized it. I got a call from lawyer one day and he told me that Janet had got in touch with him and requested a date and time that we could meet. I told him I would call him the next day to set a time and place. I knew a restaurant that had a few enclosed tables that was private but expensive. I called and reserved a table for the next Saturday at seven P.M. I called my lawyer and gave him the details and asked him to contact Janet.

Janet met me at the restaurant on time and we hugged and went in and were shown to our table. When we were seated we made small talk about how each had been doing. We decide that we would not have drinks but have a good meal and try to enjoy just being together. She had let her hair grow out and her dress was the same as it had been. I told her, "I like your hair and the dress looks really good on you. You are a beautiful woman, Janet."

She blushed and said, "Thank you. I was hoping you would like it. I let it grow back for you but I did it for myself also."

After the meal we both sat in silence until I said, "What have you decided about what you want to do with our lives and marriage?"

She said, "I want us to get back together. I have been lost these last six months. I know that I hurt you very deeply and I don't know how to get your forgiveness but I am willing to do whatever it takes, whatever you want me to do. I miss all the things we did as husband and wife. I miss the friendship that we had since we were small. Tell me what you want me to do and I will do it. I have the questionnaire and other papers for you."

She reached into her purse and unfolded the papers and laid them in front of me. On top was a medical report where she had tests run for STDs the week after we separated. The entire tests were clear. The next item was a copy of the letter about the movement of the household goods. She looked at me and said, "I didn't know if you read the letter or not. When Helen came to help me move, she was blaming you for our troubles and I couldn't tell her the truth. She was mad at you and insisted we take everything. I was in such a shape that I didn't argue with her. I am sorry. She confronted me after you told her about the tape and I finally confessed the truth to her. She wanted to call you and to bring whatever you wanted back to you but I convinced her to let it be. What I am not using is in storage. I did give the bed away. I couldn't use it. I gave the bed and all the sheets plus the covers to a couple in the apartment complex where I live. The next paper is the questionnaire. It is a copy. The one you let on the table I wrote my answers on but I went back read it again and again and erased and changed until it was unreadable. I pray that you will accept this copy I did on my computer at work. I know it said to answer yes or no but I added brief notes.

This is a questionnaire for my wife. The answers are to be yes or no only. This is to be returned to your husband when completed. If not returned or is not completed then there is no more marriage. This is your choice. I choose to answer.

Do you know I loved you with all my heart and soul? Yes

Do you know that you have been my friend nearly all my life and my wife for many years? Yes You have been my best friend nearly all my life.

Do you remember the vows we made to each other on our wedding day? Yes I am sorry that I forgot those vows for a time and dishonored them.

Do you remember the vows we made as teenagers to never hurt or let someone else hurt the other? Yes I did hurt you and I let someone else hurt us both. I am sorry.

Do you remember the times that I held your hand and wiped your fevered brow and told you I loved you and would care for you? Yes I love you for those little things.

Do you remember how I would cuddle with you and we would whisper our love for each other when we sat on your parents couch? Yes You were always so sweet to me.

Do you remember the first time we made love and how you cried and I cried because I thought I had hurt you? Yes You were always so gentle with me and I loved you for being that way.

Do you remember the times I took you dancing and dining and held you so tight and told you how pretty you were and how lucky I felt to be a part of your life? Yes Those times were very special to me also.

Do you remember the back rubs and foot massages I gave you because I didn't like to see you hurt? Yes They were special to me because you gave them.

Do you remember the nights I cooked because you worked late or the breakfasts I made and let you sleep in because you had a bad week? Yes You were so thoughtful.

Do you remember the flowers and candy I would bring home to you for no reason other than I loved you and wanted to make you happy? Yes and you did make me happy.

Do you remember the nights I would watch your shows on TV because I wanted to please you? Yes

Do you remember the times I would surprise you and take you on a picnic because you were down from something that happened at work? Yes and it always picked me up.

Do you remember about a year ago we vowed to each other that no one would ever come between us, after watching a show where the man and woman cheated on the other? Yes. I forgot that when he was coming on to me so hot and heavy. I am sorry.

Do you remember any of this or has your mind gone blank since you have started to have an affair with Brad? Yes. I remember it all but when Brad got into my head I forgot all that mattered to me.

Did you think that this would not come to light? Yes. It never crossed my mind that it would be discovered.

Did you think that I would be a cuckold to you and Brad? No. I knew that you would never be a wimp and that I was playing with fire but I couldn't stop.

Did he convince you that he was the man you needed in your life? Yes. He did just that thing. He convinced me I would only be happy with him and no other person.

Did he convince you to start wearing your skirts shorter and your sweaters and blouses tighter? Yes. He told me I was too pretty to wear the frumpy old clothes I was wearing.

Did he convince you to cut your beautiful long hair? Yes. I knew it was wrong because you had always commented on how you liked it long but I could not help myself.

Did he convince you to fuck him in my bed? Yes. I fought him on this for a long time but when you went on your trip, I gave in like on all the other things.

Did he convince you to stop making love to me because he wanted you all to himself? Yes. But only after he tried to get me to come home after he and I had fucked (and that was all we did was fuck. He never made love to me) and I was to get you to eat his cum from my pussy. I would never do that.

Did he convince you that I didn't deserve you but he did? No. He convinced me that you didn't love me or you would fight for me. He convinced me that you knew about the affair and that you didn't care.

Do you know that Brad is married and has two children? No. He told me he was single. I found out the truth only after Josh had caught him and sent him to the hospital. It came out the day he was sent back to the home office.

Is Brad going to take you in and will you two live together? At the time you gave this to me, it had never crossed my mind but in the back of my mind I knew that Brad and I would never be anything other than sexual partners.

Do you know I was home on Monday morning and have a tape of you and Brad in my bed? At that time I didn't know. This was where I was reading when I realized that everything had just gone to hell with you and me. I rushed out of work and threw the paper in the dumpster.

Did you forget to wash the sheets? No. I thought you would not be home until I had time that night. I was so riddled with guilt that I didn't know where I was or what I going to do but I think I knew that it had to end. I was trying to work out how I was going to tell you when I got The Questionnaire.

Do you know you left them in a mess? Yes. I did know and I worried all day but Brad and I left late that day and he convinced me that it would be okay. He convinced me that you would not come home before I had a chance to wash them.

Does your family know what you are doing with Brad? No. They didn't know and I tried to keep it from them even after you had kicked me out.

Did they approve of your affair? No. They never really liked you but they would never approve of me doing that to you.

Do you know that you may have a STD? Yes. But only after reading this. It never crossed my mind.

Have you been tested? Yes I was tested that Friday after I moved the last of my things out of the house.

Do you care as long as Brad fucks you like a whore? No. At that time I didn't care about anything but Brad and fucking him. He took over my life and everything in it. I still don't know to this day what happened to me and why I let him do that to you and me. I wish I had the answer. All I know is I want you to let me back in your life and help me. I will do whatever it takes. I love you Dillard.

Janet

When I finished reading the paper, I looked up at Janet and asked, "What do think we need to do to get this thing behind us and move on?"

She said, "Does that mean you are willing to take me back?"

I said, "Janet, I want to be with you. I don't know how we will get through this but if we are both ready and willing to work on it, I think we can make a go of it. The only thing that is in our favor right now is the friendship we have had for so long. If you had not been my friend for so long, we would be divorced today."

We talked for a little longer about how we would go about getting a bigger apartment and when we would move in together. She asked, "Can I go with you to your apartment tonight?"

I said, "Yes. I don't want you to expect too much this first time because I don't know what feelings will come back. I can't promise what I can or will be able to do. We are going to take it slow. Is that okay with you?"

She said, "Yes. That is great with me. I just want to be back in your company again."

I picked up the stack of papers and noticed another paper behind the questionnaire. I looked at it and saw another STD test sheet dated about six weeks earlier. I asked, "Why did you feel you had to get another test done if the first one was okay?"

She looked at me and tears came in her eyes as she said, "Dillard, Let me explain this to you. About six weeks ago I went to a party at one of my co-workers home. I had been drinking and this guy kept coming on to me. I fought him off until he started to tell me what I was going to do and I woke up in his hotel room the next morning. I didn't know if we had done anything, if he had used a rubber. I got dressed and left before he woke up and I had to have the test done. Please don't let this hurt our chances of getting back together."

She looked into my eyes and I guess she saw the hurt in them. She dropped her head onto the table and started crying. I stood up, took a hundred dollar bill out of my wallet and laid it on the table and left.

The divorce was final three months later and I tried to move on with my life. I went out on a few dates and even had a few one-night stands but I was never comfortable with any woman.

It was over three years later that I went to a high school reunion. I hadn't wanted to go but a friend was coming in from out on the west coast and I had promised him I would be there. He and his wife met me and we rode together to the old school gym. I was dancing with his wife when I saw Janet. She was as pretty as ever and my heart did a leap. I thought she would ignore me but we gravitated toward each other. She hugged me and asked, "How are you doing? Is that your wife or girlfriend I saw you dancing with?"

I said, "Neither. That is Jim Bolling's wife. I didn't bring anyone."

She smiled and said, "Neither did I. I mean I didn't come with anyone."

We started talking and dancing with each other. We talked about the last three years of our lives. We got a table in the corner of the room and shut the rest of the crowd out as we talked. She started talking, "Dillard, I am sorry for what I did to us and only after I got married and divorced again, did I realize I needed help with my problem with men taking over my life. I never had to worry about that with you but I did with others. I have been going to a good doctor and I understand what I have to do. I got married to a guy who was a lot like you when we were dating but changed to more like Brad after the marriage. He started hitting me and slapping me around when he would drink. I left him and got the divorce and my lawyer recommended this doctor. I quit drinking completely and started running every day. I feel much better but I still miss my time with you. Everyday I regret what I did to us. I wanted to call you and talk to you much and I picked the phone up and started to dial but I didn't know how you would react. So tell me what has been going on in your life?"

I told her, "Nothing. I tried to date but nothing ever developed. I spend a lot of time at the gym and I go on hikes, go to museums and spend a lot of time at work."

We talked until they started shutting off the lights. Jim had left so I asked if she could give me a lift to my car. Before we got back to my car I asked, "Janet, Do you think we can be friends and get together for dinner and call each other if we need to talk?"

She said, "OH GOD, I have prayed that we could get back together as friends. I really miss our time talking and helping each other."

Janet and I see each other a couple of times a month and we talk at least twice a week. Will we ever get back together? I don't know. Do I want us to get back together? Sometimes I do and other times I don't.