Just a warning, this story had a lot of "loving wives" content, some "Good Sam" stuff and no graphic sex scenes. It's not fit for anyone to read, so you have been warned.
I really appreciate the comments. Entertained me for hours. Thank you all.
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It was in the desert that I found my salvation. I took a job on a remote farm working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week that included room and board. The hard work kept me from worrying about other things, as I tried to get myself back together. Once a week, I drove into "town" and called my parents, letting them know I was ok. Honestly, I never even thought about trying to date at this time. I just worked pretty much all the time, and that was by design. My mind was a mess, and I wasn't ready to deal with anything else.
Every week, they informed me that Mary had called or stopped by, looking for me, but they would not tell her where I was. She was still acting crazy, so I had no desire to talk to her. It was nearly comical when I talked to my parents every week, and they updated me on her appearance. She added tattoos and piercings. Then came the weird hair colors and dramatic make-up. Every week, she had looked more and more like a freak. This went on for 4 years. 4 freaking years! Then she suddenly stopped calling and stopped visiting my parents looking for me. She just disappeared.
My father did some asking around and found out Mary's father had been recalled to Japan, and he took his daughter with him. Apparently, she wasn't very happy about it either. It took me another year in the desert after that before I finally felt free of her. Five years is a long time, but that's what it took to put myself back together. I was finally free from the spell she had held on me for so long.
I realized it was my own insecurities that had landed me in this situation. If only I had put my foot down and put a stop to all of her nonsense things might have been different, but I was always worried she would dump me if I did. The only way I could have gotten out of the whole mess with my dignity intact would have been to have said no the very first day she told me to ask her out. The entire enterprise was doomed from the start. There was never an alternative that would have ended well for me.
It was a hard lesson for me to learn, but that is what happens when you try to date someone out of your league. It had taken a toll on my own self-worth. Working out in the desert helped me recover that. Now I know that there was nothing wrong with who I was, but I should have just stuck to my own level.
The irony to the whole thing now is, after the past 5 years, I was considered a "good catch" by most women I talk to and Mary would be lucky to ever find even a decent guy to date her ever again. She had piercings and tattoos, plus two black children. No decent guy would look twice at her despite how beautiful she had once been. In a way, I felt sorry for her, but she had brought this on herself.
After 5 years on the farm, I decided to move to an actual city and get a regular job. It was time. Slowly I reconnected to the world and got back out in it. It was about 2 months after that when I was contacted by a Japanese woman I didn't know. She had talked to my parents, and they agreed to only give her my email. I opened her email message one night after work.
"Mr. Jason, my name is Myuki, and I apologize for disturbing you, but this is a matter only you can help with. I am a psychologist at SuchandSuch University, and one of my patients is your wife, Mary. Her father has obtained a power of attorney over her, as she is currently being treated at our facility. He has authorized me to discuss certain aspects of her treatment with you. Please understand that it is a very unusual circumstance that has brought me to this point.
Mary has attempted suicide in two separate occasions, and as I uncovered during my discussions with her is the root cause for this issue is her guilt over the breakup with you. She believes she must pay a penance before she will recover enough karma to be worthy of being with you again. Therefore, she believes she must end this life in order to start paying the debt she feels she owes."
(Note - Mary is Buddhist and believes in reincarnation. She believes once she has repaired her karma, we will find each other again in another life. This is something they believe takes multiple lifetimes to accomplish - thus the desire to end her own life.)
"Therefore, I am asking you to travel to our facility to meet with her. I think you are the only one who can convince her to move off this belief. I believe it will greatly benefit her treatment if she is allowed to apologize to you and ask for your forgiveness. Please understand, this is not an attempt to have you return to your relationship with her. She only hopes for forgiveness. She has accepted that a reconciliation is not possible, but she feels it is important, not only for the redemption of her soul, but for your happiness as well. She fears you suffer daily from her actions, and I believe forgiving her and demonstrating your own wellbeing will relieve her of this burden, and hopefully eliminate her desire to end her own life.
I would not have reached out to you had we not come to an impasse in her care. No matter what I try, I cannot move her from this belief. She is determined to end her life, and you are the only one who can help move her from this position. Her father has made arrangements to provide for your travel and stay, at his expense, if you are willing to meet with her. I strongly request you to consider this action in order to help her.
Sincerely, Dr. Myuki"
I talked to my parents, and upon her return to Japan, Mary's parents had put her in rehab and got her into therapy. Apparently, Dave had kept her on high on Ecstasy and other drugs most of the time, which explained some of her behavior. Eventually the therapist made her realize not only what she had done to herself, but to me as well. It was then that she had a breakdown, mostly over the guilt that she felt over how she had treated me. That is what led to her suicide attempts. The first attempt may have been just a cry for help, but the second attempt was the real thing.
In a bit of irony, I had accidently saved her life on that second attempt. Mary had gone to a bridge, determined to jump. She climbed up on the retaining wall, and had to jump over a fence, but she was wearing my hoodie when she did, maybe as a message to me as it was my favorite piece of clothing. Had it been clean the day I left; I would have been wearing it. The hood caught the fence she had jumped over and held her there long enough for bystanders on the bridge to get to her and keep her from freeing herself and completing her fall. It was then that her father took control over her and they admitted her to the hospital. She was a thin piece of material away from being dead.
I replied to Dr. Myuki that I would consider her request. The next morning, I was woken by my phone ringing. I answered the phone, and it was Mary's father. I wasn't even sure how he got my number, but I knew he was connected so I wasn't that surprised. It was a very discouraging call, as he was not the same man I had known before. While he had always publicly demonstrated a humility that is rare of very successful men, that man was gone. The man speaking to me was devastated. I could feel the pain in his voice as he literally begged me to come see Mary.
If I had any doubts about going, that call destroyed them. Yes, I had a lot of different feelings about Mary, but this was no longer about me. I had resolved things in the desert long ago. I had to help her and her family. I couldn't turn my back on a person in need. I knew I couldn't hide in the desert forever, but I was not prepared for what I was about to face.
I flew into Tokyo and was picked up by a car that took me to my hotel. At Dr. Myuki's suggestion, I went to the hospital where Mary was being treated. She gave me a brief tour and then took me to her office where she showed me the video feed from Mary's room. She was under constant surveillance - suicide watch. She looked nothing like the woman I had known before. She had lost at least 25 pounds - practically skin and bones, and a total wreck. It was a disturbing sight.
"I wanted to prepare you Jason." Dr. Myuki told me. "Tomorrow will be a difficult day, and I have told Mary you are coming. This is actually a good day for her, because of that news. Most days she won't even get out of her bed. I assure you, she won't be allowed to touch you in any way. I will have attendants present to prevent that. It will be very emotional, but I need you to stay calm and let her talk. She is carrying a deep guilt, and the only way for her to start to recover is for her to give up the desire to end her own life. I have talked over and over with her about it, and she knows not to expect a reconciliation. She just hopes for forgiveness."
I told the doctor I understood, and I had prepared myself for it, but the truth is, nothing had prepared me for what I saw when she showed me the feed to Mary's room. I could barely believe she was the same person I was married to five years ago. She looked so thin and frail. Now I understand why her father was so distraught.
I didn't sleep that night at all. I'd like to say it was jetlag, but the image on the video screen in Dr. Myuki's office haunted me. How could things have gone so bad? How could that be the same confident, vibrant woman I had once married? The woman who wasn't willing to compromise on what she wanted in life. A part of me wanted to say she got what she deserved, but I didn't want to be that man. That would have made me no better than her.
Getting into the patient area of the hospital was much like what I imagined going into a prison was like. I had to remove my belt and shoelaces. Then I was thoroughly searched for anything that could be taken from me. Finally, Dr. Myuki and I sat in a brightly lit room with only built-in benches. Not a single piece of furniture. It looked so sterile.
The door opened and two attendants escorted Mary in. Tears immediately started rolling down her face when she saw me, but she stayed calm. They escorted her to within a few feet of me and the doctor, as we stood up.
"Mary, do you have something you want to say to Jason?" Dr. Myuki spoke in a calm voice.
"Jason," Mary started. "I want to apologize for my behavior. I hurt you and you did not deserve it. I was wrong to treat you as I did. Please allow me to beg for forgiveness."
Then she dropped to her knees and pressed her face to the floor in an act of humility. Literally begging for my forgiveness. This is a big deal for the Japanese. That deep of a bow is normally reserved only for the emperor, but she was trying to demonstrate her sincerity.
"Mary, I don't want you to be unhappy. That was a long time ago. Of course, I forgive you." was my practiced line, and I recited it perfectly.
