I stared at the text message on my phone as my son played alone in the sandbox. 'Having a wonderful time. Thank you for everything,' it read. Innocuous enough if anyone read it, but like an onion there were dozens of hidden layers. The simple truth was that my friend was thanking me for saving her marriage. That's right, without a degree, without any experience (except gut), without couples counseling, I had managed to keep her twenty year marriage together.
The story began two years ago when I met Jack and Jill (no, that is not their names but us counselors have to keep patient privilege) at a munch. I had with a casual top when my son was with his dad. The guy was getting on my nerves and I knew he would not last much longer but that was what the 'dating' world was like, especially when you already have two strikes against you (two failed marriages that is). But it was better than staying at home alone and watching reality television, wasn't it? Anyway we met Jack and Jill, who led the local BDSM munch at the pub where it was held. No one else showed up though. So after talking for a bit, they asked us back to their house for coffee.
We had been there about half an hour when Jill started to feel unwell. I will never forget how quickly this big bear of a man moved to get to her side. Or the sight of the Master kneeling before the sub. But most of all it was the look on his face. The closest I can come to describing it is love-sick like Mister Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. It took my breath away and changed my life forever. I knew exactly what I wanted then...a man who looked at me like that after twenty years together.
Anyway as you do when you do not live close together, Jill and I floated in and out of one another's lives. We became friends on a social networking site. We exchanged mobile numbers and texted a couple of times a month. I shared with her how much that night had meant to me. But she seemed less than impressed with her husband, who had become my proto-type of both a Master and a man. We continued this on again off again friendship for almost a year without seeing one another. Then one day about a year later, I texted to ask how things were going and the flood gates of Hades itself exploded on me. I was not prepared for what was to come.
That morning I was to learn that Jill had been having an affair. Not just any affair though, no, she had actually accepted another man's collar behind her husband's back. Now, if you are not into BDSM you might ask 'so what's the big deal?' Well, collars are signs of deep commitment, sort of like marriage. Since she already wore her husband's collar, she was basically not only cheating but committing bigamy. I was gob-smacked and gutted. How could this woman throw away something so fucking special? Why would you cheat on a man that so obviously loved you to pieces?
