I'm not sure if "Loving Wives" is the correct category but I decided to keep it with our other two stories. I do love my husband Mark more than anything in the world (I am a "Loving Wife" in that respect) however if you've read them, the first written by Mark and the other by me, you have some idea of who we are and some particular events in our marriage. You also know that I was far from a virgin when I met my husband. I decided to write about my college sexual experiences as a therapeutic exercise. My first two and a half years of college were a very liberating time for me, but they were also very reckless and I consider myself lucky to come out of them in one piece, so to speak. Consider this Part 1.
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I am the oldest of two, my brother being four years younger. My father is strict LDS and a Deacon in the church. My mother grew up Catholic but converted when she met my father. She never embraced the LDS religion and she slowly drifted from the Mormon Church and by the time I was in high school she had stopped accompanying my Dad to church. My mom had a multiple masters degrees (engineering and business) and worked outside the home, something the Church doesn't embrace and neither did many of her friends in the Church. My father was not happy about her parting but also knew deep down that it was inevitable. Mom began attending Catholic mass again even though my father felt religiously abandoned, they still loved each other and had a strong relationship.
As I grew into my teenage years, I too felt constricted by the LDS community. While LDS girls are encouraged to get a degree (from BYU specifically) they are discouraged from working or pursuing a graduate degree once they are married, which usually happens at an early age. At that time the expectation, stated or otherwise, is that they become a wife and mother exclusively.
While I have no problem with that, and have a great deal of respect for the family values of the Church, my mother was convinced I was destined for something else. So was I. School grades came easy to me. My only B in high school came in a pottery class in which everything I attempted collapsed when it came out of the kiln. I was also a star athlete. I experienced the strength and confidence that my mother exuded from her own career and never felt that she loved her family less because of it. I felt that we were a stronger family with her outside interests and career. I know my father agreed, after all he married her when she was well established in her career and she had made it clear that putting it aside was non-negotiable. My brother and I grew up in a very loving, albeit religiously divided family and we are both the better for it. That being said, if you knew me in my first two years of college you probably wouldn't think so.
By the time I was in high school I had completely moved away from the LDS community and started attending church with my mother. I had the same boyfriend throughout my junior and senior years. His name was Brian and was a good LDS boy. He was the football QB as well as a baseball player who didn't drink or smoke, and didn't get into any trouble at all. He never pushed our physical relationship past a periodic make-out session.
My father kept strict control over me. I never was allowed to attend a sleepover or slumber party unless it was in the Church (LDS specifically). Sex was a taboo subject in with him, in fact I think my brother and I felt the actual word "sex" was a dirty word. I think my father thought that if he ignored it completely and never mentioned it around us, that any thoughts of it would also never occur to my brother and I.
While I can't speak for my brother, Dad's tactic ended up backfiring on me. I received my sex education by hanging out at a friend's home during the Spring of my senior year. Her name was Liz and she had been my tennis doubles partner. Her step-mother, Trisha was only 8 years older and the three of us often spent many afternoons at their house after track practice speaking freely of sex. Liz was sexually active and I found it deliciously awkward that Trisha had no problems talking about "fucking" Liz's dad in front of Liz. I found out one day that Liz's dad also had no problem talking about sex when he came home early from work and joined in a the conversation with me, his wife and his daughter about the joys of oral sex. It was as casual as if we were talking about baseball or tennis. This was a much different family than my own!
I could vent my sexual frustrations to Liz and Trisha and my common theme was that waiting for marriage, as both of my churches taught, didn't seem realistic for me. Trisha had been, in her own words, a college slut and had no regrets about it. This greatly intrigued me. Liz had had a couple of boyfriends and admitted to a one night stand after a pool party. I was jealous - getting Brian's tongue in my mouth was pushing the envelope for us. I loved those afternoon conversations and they ultimately prepared me for my total college experience as much as any of my high school academics.
One day a maintenance man was at Liz's house doing some work. My body tingled as I seriously considered jumping him and taking him into Liz's bedroom. Liz and Trisha talked me out of it because he was married. Fearing that I was so out of control and that I would do something rash, Trisha, this older woman of 26 gave me the best gift I could ever receive. She went to the dishwasher, opened it and on the bottom rack amongst the plates, pulled out an 9 inch dildo.
"It's yours," she said laughing. "You're going to rape some poor guy otherwise."
"What do I do with it?"
"I think you know." Liz and Trisha laughed hysterically.
I went home and hid it in a vent in my closet. They were correct, I knew exactly how to use it and did as much as I could get away with for the rest of my high school days. My mom found it one day and just laughed and gave me a knowing smile. She was not in sexual denial like my father and to be fair, she did take me aside on occasion and checked in with me on the subject. I was fairly certain that she was not a virgin when she married my father which was confirmed after she and I consumed a couple of bottles of wine after my first visit home from college.
After senior prom, Brian and I ended up in his parents' basement rec room alone. We had been engaging in our regular make-out session for a half an hour when I got bored and let my pent up sexual aggressions got the better of me. To his complete surprise I yanked down the top of my strapless dress and at the same time grabbed his hand and before he knew what was happening I pressed it to my left tit. With my other hand I began rubbing his erect cock through his tuxedo pants as I shoved my tongue deeper down his throat.
He froze, but didn't do a thing for about 30 seconds. We just continued to rub each other and kiss. I thought I might actually finally be getting the real thing! Unfortunately for me, he pulled away, and even though I know he had been enjoying it immensely, his morals got the best of him and he announced that it was time to take me home. I protested and reminded him that at 18, we were both consenting adults but he could not betray his values.
We stayed together through the summer and he refused to break up before we both left for college even though I knew in my heart of hearts, that I would not be faithful to him. I also suspected that he would propose to me the following summer after our first year of college which is somewhat common for LDS kids. I really did love him and knew he would be a great father but could not see spending the rest of my life with him. I knew that in his mind he believed that he could bring me back to the Church, maybe even get me to quit school to start a family early. This was not reality. Aside from thoughts of abandoning my bright professional future, he had given no signs of any type of intimate creativity and I figured that our sex life would be wanting...and I'd eventually jump a maintenance man...or someone like that.
I was class salutatorian (stupid pottery class) lettered in three sports every year including my freshman year so was a very rare 12 letter athlete. I was an all-conference in tennis, basketball and track. My SAT scores were near perfect and I was accepted to almost every college I applied. My father obviously wanted me to go to BYU, my mom, Notre Dame (which I didn't get into - I still have no idea why). Cal, Northwestern, Penn, MIT and other big name schools had accepted me. My father was adamant that I not go to such a large place with fraternities and other such things where boys could not be trusted (but he would not tell me why as I was not to know of such things) and since I did not have full ride scholarships to many of them, he refused to pay for the difference. We compromised on a smaller Christian school (my compromise) but was out of state (his compromise). Brian headed off to BYU in Utah.
The family took the plane trip with me in late August to deliver me to the next phase in my life. They helped move me into my dorm and we all met my new roommate, Beatrice. Beatrice was a very religiously conservative girl from the south and she and my father immediately hit it off. I knew that this may be a problem.
My parents and brother stayed in a hotel that night and left late the next afternoon to catch the plane home. That evening there was a campus welcome dance that no sooner had I said my goodbyes to the family I began preparing for it. Beatrice didn't normally attend dances (no surprise) but I talked her into accompanying me, at least to the central square because I knew no one else and didn't want to show up alone.
It was a warm late summer evening and I had picked up a white sun dress the week before when shopping alone and hid it in a secret compartment of my suitcase (along with my dildo). It had a plunging neckline and short seam which rested about halfway up my thigh - something I'd never dare wear at home. It was not a see-through so I decided it was safe to not wear a bra (I didn't have one that would work with that kind of dress anyway), and, as a last minute decision, left my panties in my drawer. I was free and ready to prove it to the world. I hadn't used make-up until my senior year in high school and when I did, it was very minimal. That night however I used heavy mascara, eye liner and a fair amount of blush.
Beatrice wore a conservative sweater and jeans. She was actually a nice looking girl but had no interest in bringing any attention to herself. We were quite a pair walking across campus that evening and Beatrice was clearly uncomfortable.
When we arrived at the dance a live band was playing. It was outdoors in the central square of our campus. A nice looking guy immediately asked me to dance and his friend asked Beatrice. She declined, I did not. He and I danced a few dances and when we were through I went looking for Beatrice. She was nowhere to be found and I assumed she went back to the room. I danced on and off for the next couple of hours or so, met some new friends, both male and female. About 11PM a tall muscular guy came up and asked me to dance. He was gorgeous! I followed him out and a slow song came on. He grabbed my waist and my left hand. I put my right on his upper arm and a chill ran down my spine. It was the largest muscled arm I had ever touched and I became instantly excited. He smelled of alcohol and pot. I also knew right then and there that this was the guy. I was going to lose my virginity that night and to him. If he wanted me, I was his, and I was going to make sure he wanted me.
We danced a few dances and he began to look bored. I decided to make my own destiny. I looked right up into his eyes and with one hand around on the back of his neck, I moved the other around the front and grabbed his dick through his shorts. It was dark and crowded and no one noticed. At the same time I slid my right hand up his head and pulled his face down to mine. He gave a surprised look but did not resist and I grabbed his lips with mine. I moved my left hand around his waist and pulled his body into mine while slipping my hand underneath the belt of the back of his shorts and onto his bare ass and squeezed. It was the first time I had touched a man's skin that was normally clothed. I felt his erection through his shorts and against my stomach. Since neither of us had on undergarments it was a thrill for me to know that his sex and mine were separated by only a couple of thin pieces of material as I moved my crotch up towards his. I then grabbed his hand and moved it under my dress and as he did he squeezed my bare ass.
