Chapter 9: The letter
Three days passed without any word from Marsha and I was beginning to think that I had lost her forever. I knew that I couldn't run after her. If there were any chance for us it would have to be on my terms. I resigned myself to the fact that if I took her back that Chilly may be part of the equation. I wasn't sure I could handle that, but I wasn't sure I could handle losing Marsha either. The only thing I was sure of was that Marsha would have to tell me everything or I would not even consider taking her back.
On that third evening I came home from work and found an envelope addressed to me lying on the kitchen counter. I recognized the handwriting as Marsha's. Inside the envelope was a letter from Marsha.
I got a beer from the refrigerator and took it along with the letter into the living room.
I opened the beer and took a long swallow and set the bottle down and then I opened the letter. The following is the text of that letter.
Dearest George,
I am sorry to have put you through so much and I hope that I will have the chance to make it up to you. I guess this letter is the beginning of my attempt to make things right. I have thought a lot about what you asked from me and have decided that you probably deserve to know everything. I would rather have you know the truth than for you to imagine what secrets I might be keeping. And if by telling you the details of my relationship with Chilly I can possible save our marriage it will be worth it.
It all started my sophomore year at college. My freshman year roommate and I had planned to room together again that year but at the last minute a family crisis cause her to have to drop out of school. As a result the student-housing administrator assigned me a new roommate. I wasn't happy about that I had no say in who my new roommate would be so when Chilly showed up in the room on move in day I wasn't very friendly toward her.
When I thought about it the next day I felt bad that I had reacted to Chilly that way. It wasn't her fault that she was assigned to my to be my roommate and maybe she wasn't any happier about it than I. I was also concerned that Chilly might think that my reaction to her was a racial thing and nothing could have been farther from the truth. That evening I asked Chilly to go get something to eat with me and I told her about my other roommate and explained that my cool reception the previous day should not be taken personally. I told her that I was sure we would get along fine and probably become good friends.
Chilly was very gracious in her response. She said that she kind of figured that I was disappointed to get a roommate sprung on me at the last minute like that and she thanked me for clearing the air.
There wasn't any sexual attraction between us at first or at least I didn't feel any attraction to her. Over the first several weeks of the semester I began to notice that Chilly behaved differently with me than she did with anyone else, boy or girl. I didn't understand it. She never said anything that would be insulting or offensive to me, which is strange when you think about how girls that age tease and pick on each other. Chilly had no problem trading insults and teasing the other girls in our dorm but she never did that with me.
I thought of a lot of reason that she treated me differently, maybe she didn't like me, or possibly it was some sense of loyalty to a roommate. Well, I started to figure it out one night as I was getting dressed to go out on a date. I was walking around our room in a skimpy pair of panties and a bra as I was trying to decide what to wear. As I paced around the room I noticed that Chilly never took her eyes off me. At first it made me a little uncomfortable, but I decide that she was just watching me because I was the only moving object in the room. But after that I notice that she often watched me. It didn't seem to mater if I was dressed or undressed, although her interest seemed to increase as my clothing decreased.
By the end of the school year I was convinced that Chilly had more than just a friendly interest in me, but she never said or did anything that made it uncomfortable for me to be around her, besides, I liked Chilly as a friend so I just let it pass.
At the end of the year Chilly asked me if I would like to get an apartment with her for our junior year. I agreed, so before we went home for the summer we found a two bedroom apart near the campus and signed a lease for the next school year.
After we moved into the apartment in the fall I noticed a change in Chilly right away. It seemed like she wanted to do things for me. Anytime she left the apartment she would always ask me if there was anything I needed that she could pick up for me while she was out.
At first this made me feel uncomfortable, but I began to like have her do me favors. I tried not to take unfair advantage but it was hard not to.
I notice that Chilly still liked to watch me around the apartment even more than when we live in the dorm. I got used to the attention and actually began to enjoy it. I found myself leaving the bathroom door partly opened when I was in the shower so that Chilly could look in if she wanted. I didn't realize what I was doing at first but when I thought about it I knew I was teasing her. I liked the feeling of power that I had when I knew she was watching me dry myself or when I was dressing in sexy clothes to go on a date.
I think I should say here that Chilly liked guys. She dated as much as I did, but I felt that she definitely had a thing for me.
Over time my teasing got bolder and I could tell that Chilly enjoy it. I wasn't sure if she knew that I was teasing her on purpose or not. I tried to act as if I was just comfortable around her and almost act like she wasn't even around when I was dressing, undressing or taking a shower. What ever she was thinking, she never said a word or gave any indication that she wanted anything from me. After a while this began to bug me. It became my goal to make her respond, so I decide to turn up the heat on her.
One evening after we had been out drinking with friends and had returned to the apartment I pulled out a joint I had gotten from a guy I knew and Chilly and I smoked it.
When we were both high I asked her if she was getting enough sex? She said that she was and then I asked her, "Have you ever had sex with another girl?"
I could see that the question surprised her. She said, "No... no I never. I haven't done that."
Then I said, "Have you ever thought about doing it?"
She said, "Doing what? Having sex with a girl? I don't think... well I mean I have but... well you know?"
I said, "No, I don't know. Do you think it is something you want to do?"
Chilly was looking at me like a guy does when he thinks he might get laid. She said, "I don't know, maybe. I think I am too stoned to talk about this now."
I said, "I think you would like to try it." Then I said, "Maybe someday we could try it together."
I could hear the excitement in Chilly's voice when she said, "You would really want to do that?"