Chapter 10 - Please
It was that same strange sense of pride that carried Nicole out of the bathroom and down the first hallway, out of the abandoned marketing department. The first eyes that fell upon her, took her down a peg, however. Reflexively, she cast her eyes downward instead of taking the proper time to read the gaze of the first people she'd walked past. Were they friendly or mocking? Did they know what had happened or did they not know? Was she already the subject of intensive gossip? She had no idea, but was proud enough that she managed to keep walking past the usual mobs of people that populated the floor.
"I can do this," she told herself, revisiting the plan in her head. "Walk in, grab purse, flip everyone the bird, gentle smile at Heather who is exempt from said bird, walk out like a goddamn legend -- the woman who punched Shimizu in the balls and flipped off the board. This will be my legacy."
She began flickering her fingers as she walked, loosening them up for her moment. She only needed two of them to be loose, but did not want to be seen flicking her middle fingers out and back and out and back like a loser while she walked. This way anybody who saw her finger movements would just assume she'd been typing too long, and quite frankly she had.
She dared to look up a bit more as she walked, gaining closer and closer to her destiny. She even looked side to side like a badass to read the faces of those around her. They weren't judging her, though. That was the tragedy of it. Nobody was even looking at her. Everybody was just going about their business with the usual focus on their own immediate needs, on getting such and such done so they could go home and watch Netflix. They weren't her enemies and they weren't her allies.
"I'm nothing to them, am I?" she asked herself, suddenly wishing that they were all gossiping mercilessly about her, wishing that they were booing her, or throwing wads of paper at her as she walked. She craved their resistance. Their apathy was agonizing.
"It's worse than that," she realized. "It isn't me at all. It's all of us. None of us mean anything to anyone here." She stopped, awkwardly, and looked around to confirm her epiphany. "Shit."
She allowed the moment to crest over her -- felt that uniquely unbearable pain that only the truth can cause, and suddenly the sharp, continuous flossing of the seam of her husband's boxer shorts against her anus was the least of her problems.
She breathed, refocused, and walked into the board room with a renewed sense of purpose.
Predictably, the meeting continued as if she'd never even left -- she wasn't important enough to cause a delay, not important enough for anyone to pass more than a brief glance as she came back in the room just to make sure it wasn't in fact someone who mattered.
One person, however, was staring directly at her.
Garret Shimizu ignored the meeting entirely. His gaze was fixed on Nicole. She wanted to be disgusted by it, to savour the moment before she told him and all of the other dinks who'd ruined her life to fuck off, but she couldn't.
He caught her eye and she stared back at him. He was barely recognizable. She paused to consider the likelihood that someone with the same basic physical characteristics as Garret had somehow taken his seat. It was the expression that was throwing her. He looked oddly passive, for the first time that she had ever seen him. His face was, itself, an apology and a plea. She held his gaze, and he flickered his eyes toward the open computer. On the screen, in all caps, it read:
"I'M VERY SORRY THAT I ACTED INAPPROPRIATELY. I PROMISE TO RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES FROM HERE ONWARD. PLEASE CONTINUE. PLEASE."
Nicole stared at the screen, then looked back to Garret. Then she looked back to the screen. Then she looked down at her own hands to see that her hands were as confused as she was, her middle fingers extended at her sides.
"Shit."
Heather turned briefly to Nicole and smiled, knowingly, her face still flushed from being upside down. It was perhaps the most confused that Nicole had been yet on this very, very confusing day, and sitting right beside the computer on the boardroom table was her purse.
"Shit."
Her fingers uncinched and flittered again. She reached for the purse and left, but quickly found that she hadn't, that her mind was just simulating. She was still there, standing awkwardly, still being stared at by Garret with his wounded puppy eyes. She reached for the purse and she left! Except she didn't...again.
"Fuck."
She sat down.
Clickety-click-click-click, it began.
Chapter 11 -- Make them Big
"Why am I here?" Leaning her face toward the backlit screen of the laptop felt very much like stepping into a spotlight to Nicole.
She decided, plain and simple, to give Garrett exactly what she knew he wanted.
----------------------------------
It wasn't until two hours into the meeting that Garrett became suddenly aware of the attention that he was receiving from the dark-haired woman at the end of the board table.
------------------------------------
"Brunette" she heard her boss whisper from beside her. She paused and looked at him. His eyes were still pleading, but less apologetic, more commanding once again.
------------------------------------
It wasn't until two hours into the meeting that Garrett became suddenly aware of the attention that he was receiving from the brunette at the end of the board table. She had been with the company for 8 years but had never had the courage to let him catch her staring. She had wanted him that entire time, but the circumstances had always been tricky.
---------------------------------------
"Eight years? How old is she?"
Nicole took a minute to catch her breath, to weigh the many personality attributes and presumptions informing her boss's decision to ask her that. "I've come this far," she told herself. "I can humour him."
--------------------------------------
She had been with the company for two semesters of her college co-op now but had never had the courage to let him catch her staring. She had wanted him that entire time, but the circumstances had always been tricky. Her body was aching for him now, though. Every inch of her long lean torso was surging with that strange intangible desire beyond accounting. Her skin was uncomfortably itchy, flushed with blood as it was. Concentration was impossible. Involuntarily she found herself rubbing the tops of her cleavage.
--------------------------------