The Letters Tell a Tale

I work as a social worker at the asylum for mentally disturbed persons. Many of the people there are eccentric and unpredictable. There was one old woman, who has been here for over a decade. She was always very quiet and rarely spoke to anyone. Nobody knew why she stayed as most of us thought she was quite normal. I learnt that she was admitted for mental disturbance after she lost her husband. I tried to talk to her, but got no response. From her case file I learnt that she was a well known person who was herself a nurse by profession. Her husband was a rich businessman & they had a son who committed suicide. The shock caused her husband to have a heart attack which left her a widow. The double tragedy led to severe depression and her subsequent admission to the hospital.

One day, she just called me aside. I was surprised as she had never shown any inclination to talk to anyone. I know you want to help me, but you cannot; she said. I want to leave you some letters. Please read them after I die, but promise you will never share the contents with anybody. I was not only curious, but also hoped that this interaction would lead to more communication with her and accepted the envelope she gave me.

In deference to her wishes, I put away the envelope. I tried again to converse with her, but she retreated into her shell. All my entreaties fell on deaf ears. Perhaps she had a premonition of her end, for within a week we found that she had passed away in her sleep.

Unable to restrain my curiosity, I opened the envelope she had left with me. There were 7 letters in all. They told a tale of love & betrayal, revenge & remorse. I am compelled by my promise not to divulge her name which can reveal the identities of all the persons involved. I have therefore blocked out all the names.

The questions at the end are left for the reader to answer.

*

Letter 1

14th July 1999

Darling,

Why did you not come to the conference? I was searching for you every day. Is there a problem? Or are you tired of me? Is there someone else?

You know how eagerly I look forward to these meetings. I had brought the most recent pictures of our son for you to see. If ever you meet him, you will be very proud. He has grown into a handsome young man. He is the apple of my husband's eye. They share a deep bond -- a man to man thing -- which I cannot participate. Last week the two of them went out hunting & fishing. They came back laden with game. Whenever I look at our son, I burst with joy & love. In his eyes I see a glimpse of you.

Today is the last day of the conference. I have lost hope that you will come. Do I have to wait another 6 months before we get another chance? Apart from not being able to meet you, I need to know the reason for your absence. As always I have been faithful to our promises. My husband is yet to taste my mouth or ass. These are reserved for you & ONLY YOU! When will I see you & when will you reclaim what is exclusively yours?

I do not know whether to be worried or angry. The suspense is killing me. Please reply immediately.

Your faithful love

Letter 2

A printed postcard

17th July 1999

Dear friend

I regret to inform you of the sudden demise of my beloved wife on 10th July 2009. The burial took place at St.Andrew's Church on 11th July 2009.

For the bereaved family

Letter 3

19th July 1999

My dearest darling,

Please accept my sincere condolences. I also apologize for all my horrible thoughts in the letter I wrote you.

I know this is moment of grief and pain. Please do not let the sorrow overcome you. Remember the lovely moments you enjoyed with her. She is gone but the love & memories shared together are something you can cherish forever. We are all mortal, and death is inevitable.

Once you have settled your affairs (oops -- is it the correct word? I cannot think of any other for now!) let me know when we can meet. I long to come and comfort you, but you know I cannot. Be assured that my heart is now and always with you.

I know you are sad that you could not have children with her. At least we could create a child to perpetuate our love. How I wish I could have given you more! As you know, I had serious problems during the birth of our son. The doctors, to protect my life, tied my tubes.

My husband & I have raised our child. He does not know he is not the father. I look upon him as a caretaker of your progeny. When our son is 21, I will introduce him to you, his true father.

Your faithful and obedient love

Letter 4

2nd Augusr 1999

My darling,

The last few months have been very stressful. My wife was suffering from cancer. The terminal stages were horrible. She was in pain and there was nothing I could do to help. I will confess to you; and only you. I could not bear to see her suffering. Finally I took courage in my hands. While she was sleeping, I put a pillow over her head and smothered her to death!

I do not feel guilty! I may be a murderer in the eyes of the law, but in my view I granted her release from pain. No human should be forced to undergo unbearable pain -- when there is no cure in sight.

Luckily, everyone was aware of her health and no questions were raised. I have buried my wife and with her my guilt. I only did what I believe was best for her. I pray you do not despise me for what I did. I hope our love is not weakened by my confession.

I wish to meet you as soon as possible. I will come down to your city soon. My body & mind yearn for you. Are human beings not strange? It is less than a month since I buried my wife, yet I now long for you. Life is stronger than death. For all the veneer of civilization we claim, man is also an animal by nature. Our mortal life is but a chain in the continuity of our species. Despite wars, calamities or personal tragedies, the cycle of life continues unabated.

It seems perverse, but now we can meet more often. I wish to enjoy the rest of my life. I know that I have lost my wife, but you still have your husband alive. Please do tell me that you will spare me more time. I long to feel you body against mine. My lips long to suckle at your breasts. I still remember the divine milk you fed me while nursing our son. Even if you are dry, at least let me imagine that I am once again enjoying your sweet ambrosia. My cock needs the warmth of your mouth. Let me spurt into your throat. Your anal passage will once again pay me homage. The secrets which are exclusively ours, not even shared by your husband will reinforce again our special love.

I would very much like to meet our son. Will you introduce me to him as his father? How will he react?

Your true lover

Letter 5

7th August 1999

My precious darling,

How wretched is my life? You have been through such an ordeal, and here I am, unable to be by your side. I have burnt your previous letter. Please do not ever repeat what you wrote to me. I know how pure your love is. Never feel guilty. You have always done your duty as a husband. Euthanasia is even now accepted in several countries. Only a brave man like you could have taken courage into his hands. I am sure God will forgive you. My love for you has only grown.

Please let me know when you are coming into town. I am eagerly waiting to see you and make up for the lost time. Allow me to share your sorrow. Permit me to wipe away your tears. Unleash your pent up grief and let me grant you relief. Let my body be the vessel to discharge all your tensions.

Anxiously waiting for you.

Letter6

19th August 1999

Mother,

I have read all the letters between you and you lover -- my sperm donor. I do not accept or respect him as my father, no matter what you may say. You have turned my whole life into a lie. I do not know whether I should be ashamed to be the son of an adulterous wife or the proud son of an upright father. The picture is further confused when I think that that the man who donated his sperm for my birth is a murderer. How do I know all this? I know you kept everything a well guarded secret from me & my father. Never did you guess that your dirty secret was known to both of us for several years.

As you know, my father -- you husband -- not your lover -- I do not acknowledge or accept anyone else as my true father; has been my best friend since birth. When I was bullied at school, he taught me self defense. He taught me to stand up and be a man. Five years ago when we were to go on the mountain climb, we had to give our blood groups to the group. Imagine our surprise when we learnt that he was Opositive & I was RH Negative. Do you know what he then said to me? He assured me that I would always be his son and that he would forgive your indiscretion. He made me promise him that I would never let you know what we had learnt & never allow this to affect our loving family. I know that my father is a greater man than I could ever become. I decided to honor his request, but unlike him, I was always alert to know who my sperm donor (not father) was.

You were very discreet and I never could find out any information. After all you have successfully deceived us for many years. Unknown to you, I had hacked into your computer to track your mails. I had almost given hope, until I read the recent exchange of correspondence between the two of you.

Dad is now in hospital after his recent strike. I know you have tried to take good care of him, but I don't trust your lover. He has already committed one murder, no matter how the two of you wish to justify it. I do not want him to smother my father to death, like he did his wife.

When you read this letter, your lover will be dead. I will not allow him to live, lest he kill my dad.

Do not search for me for I can no longer live with myself.

Dad may forgive you, but will God?

Your bastard son.

Letter 7

25th August 2009

Whoever is reading this letter will do so after my death. Mine Is a story of love culminating in tragedy. I thought I was the luckiest woman alive. I had a faithful husband & a romantic lover. I was able to keep the two worlds separate. My lover affair started shortly after I got married. We used to work as nurses in the same hospital. Proximity became friendship and got transformed to love.

My husband was a kind and gentle man. Our love was deep and strong. We shared more than physical intimacy. He was my friend and guide. With him I felt safe & protected.

My lover was strong and commanding. He was dominating, rough and forceful in lovemaking. He demanded and ensured that he was the only one who could come in my mouth or take my ass. I was forever faithful to my promise and denied these pleasures to my husband.

Is it not possible for a woman to love two men? Parents can love several children. In some religions a man can have several wives. Then why does society always condemn a woman who loves two men? Is this not a double standard?

I was faithful to the two loves in my life. I first got pregnant for my lover. Although he was hesitant, there was no way I would abort the fruit of our love. My lover's wife could not bear children & I felt privileged to give him a son. My husband innocently accepted the child as his own. Unfortunately the delivery was very complicated and the doctors tied my tubes. This meant that I could never have a child for my husband.

My husband & I brought up the child lavishing all our love. He grew up to become a handsome and well behaved boy. He was the center of our universe. Being a boy, he spent a lot of time with my husband who he believed was his father. My husband taught him cycling, fishing, camping and all other activities boys enjoy. He was there to cheer his games and the two bonded as father and son.

I was proud of the way I handled the situation. Although my trysts continued with my lover, I lavished all my love and attention to my family life. I was faithful to both the persons I loved.

My lover soon relocated to another city. Our relationship was always discreet even when he lived in the same city. After he shifted we decided not to communicate with each other. Our only interaction was during the hospital conferences that took place twice a year. The venue would be rotated and both of us would end up choosing adjacent hotel rooms.

These meetings were the high points in our life. We realized that we could not be together all the time, but made the most of what we could steal. Is love constrained by distance or measured by time? The brief interludes we could snatch were intense and we poured into the lovemaking the hunger we were suppressing. When we went our separate ways, we reverted to become loving spouses to the person we married.

The death of my lover's wife was the turning point in my life. Until then my lover & I had never communicated by phone or mail. The mails we exchanged set off a chain of events that destroyed my life.

As you can guess, my son killed my lover -- his biological father. My husband was in hospital recovering from a heart attack. When he learnt about our son's suicide, he collapsed and never recovered.

I was the only person left. Within a space of a few weeks my world had been destroyed. From a woman who had the best of everything, I had nothing left.

The stress affected me so much that I was diagnosed as mentally unstable. I have been in the asylum ever since. Although the doctors say I am free to leave, I do not want to leave.

Is it a crime to love two persons? Did I not faithfully serve my family? Do I deserve the punishment I got?

A confused woman