This will be the last day of my Husband's abominable life.
After six years of a horrible marriage, during which He put me through Hell on Earth.
I will finally have the opportunity to put Him out of My misery.
Don'tcha love surprises?
Two years before, after a string of my Husband's infidelities had brought Our marriage careening to the precipice of divorce. His Father intervened and made it explicitly clear that if Sonny-boy expected to inherit any of Daddy Dearest's fortune. Much less continue being paid His bloated salary from the Family Firm.
my Husband would have to sober up and stop His philandering!
To my humiliation, i of course had to suffer much of the blame and criticism at Their Family get-togethers. During which, while they were sucking down gallonage of alcoholic beverages, they would loudly denounce my failings as a wife as being the cause of my Husband's frequent inebriation. Oh, and of course, fucking my Husband
only
a baker's dozen times a week just wasn't up to His masculine requirements.
Okay, okay. To be honest is was more often a baker's half-dozen times a week. Even when i was suffering through my menstrual periods, i still had to get Him off. Or else take a smacking. Then have Him force Himself on me.
To quote It is my wifely duty to spread 'em or swallow 'em! unquote.
.......ahh, the romantic approach by a 'loving' Husband.
Big Daddy-in-law, being a Big contributor to the Big televangilist church He bullies all His Big Family into attending enmass, arranged marital counseling for Us. My Husband and i were required to attend twice-weekly meetings with a counseling team.
Consisting of a Deacon and His wife, who together had attended a weekend Church sponsored training camp for Biblical Marriages.
.......I bet you are thinking I made that up. God! I wish!
For what little effort was spent in analyzing my Husband's need to wander or hell, even questioning His adolescent libidinous. Much of the time was spent emphasizing how important it was, that i as the dutiful wife, it is my obedience and submission to my Husband that will eventually determine His faithfulness to His vows.
.......Let the bitter laughter of experience, ensue.
Eventually, my publicly repentant Husband and i, as the stupidly obedient wife, made a solemn reaffirmation of Our marriage vows before Our Pastor, and Our families and Our congregational community and let us not overlook, Our God.
Hey now, We're in this huge, crowded, expensively fancy temple to televised sanctimony. We mustn't forget there's suppose to be a deity hanging around here somewhere, to piously consecrate The Pastor's luxuriously theatrical, inerrant lifestyle.
Before Our community and a respectable broadcast audience share, my Husband promised. Swore a Sacred Oath! That He would no longer commit infidelities against Our marriage. That He was repentant for His carelessness in infecting me with gonorrhea and chlamydia.
When i had timidly questioned Our Pastor and my Father-in-law as to why i had to suffer the burden of being rendered barren. They whole-heartedly agreed that it was God's Will and my inherent female sinfulness. That faith healing had failed to repair the ensuing damage from the venereal diseases inflicted upon me. Any better then parsimoniously delayed medical care.
Mustn't cause a public scandal that would reflect badly upon Their Family, must We? By seeking medical care in a public hospital. All those embarrassing questions about listing partners and having to fill out Public Health forms. It just wasn't done in Our Circle.
It would be publicly disrespecting my Husband. God Forbid! So where in Heaven or in Hell or here on Earth was there any respect for me?
And besides, what IS a deeply personal tragedy for myself, was just a trivial matter to the rest of my In-Laws. Since they already had several Sons and grandSons to carry on the Family Name unto the next generation.
Yes, there are some daughters but no one bothers about them, unless a man needs another beer. They were just minor bargaining chips, to be used as needed when negotiating with other families to secure the Firm's business interests.
i had deluded myself that We could repair Our marriage. As i had trusted that the 'Men' in my life would protect me from physical harm.
........repeat bitter laughter of experience.
What a gullible idiot i was to have ever trusted a Man's word!
How does that saying go? "Women say what they mean. Men never mean what they say!"
i should have taken my lumps and walked away from that failure of manhood.
People tried to warn me to keep my Husband on a tight leash. None would admit that the leash was snapped onto the steel collar of matrimony around MY neck.
"Trust but Verify!"
Great, now i am to take marital advice from a divorced, mediocre actor and union thug, who turned out to be an even more mediocre POTUS. Well, that's what his horoscope revealed to me..........
Oh, and by the way, from whence did these great pearls of wisdom originate?
From Comrade Vladimir Lenin. "
Doveryai, no proveryai"
Surprise!
Wonderful! i'm suppose to base my marital fidelity on the proverbial alliterations of a Bolshevik mass murderer!
Thanks folks. Thanks all of you, just too, too fucking much!
What? You do not have any more words of pompous wisdom to shore up my marriage with?
Perhaps from Hitler or Franco or Mussolini? Stalin or Mao? Why not Pol Pot or Khomeini?
Or one of Our 'generous', frienemy Saudi Kings or the 'snicker' celibate Popes?
Yeah, just as I figured. All I hear is the chirping of anonymous crickets........
This is exactly the sort of behavior to expect from insecure males. Voyeurism being such a male vice. You guys always wanting to compare dicks. Running around playing James Bond. Taking every opportunity to spy on girls and women, while tugging at your little wee-wees.
Will men ever grow up? Will they ever learn the self-discipline to control their testosterone driven, hormonally whacked mood swings?
"Maturity, Paging Master-Bates! Master-Bates, Please Pick Up The White Courtesy Phone of Adulthood!"
chirp.....chirp......chirp
Now you're all going to go sulk on a barstool with your good buddies. Muttering in your lite beer about how unreasonable we women are. Expecting men to expend any energy for their wives' needs.
Much less make any effort to meet the delusional expectations of females that males are capable of living up to the demands of adulthood and all the responsibilities of being husbands and fathers.
chirp.....chirp......chirp
Early this year, my Father-in-law suddenly passed away. Leaving a confusing jumble of multiple conflicting wills, testaments and codicils and no clear direction for assumption of executive authority over the Family Firm.
Yet another Plutocratic Tyrant who was Absolute and absolutely certain HE was immortal!
A rough sort of soviet of relatives took 'temporary emergency' control. However, what legitimate authority there may be, was beset with corrosive plotting against one another for the succession to dominate the zemstvo. Maneuvering among the power struggles between the uncooperative departmental domains they each jealously controlled. There was not one of them trusted by even a temporary majority of the other managerial relations to ascend to becoming permanent CEO.
my Husband tried to bluff His way onto His Father's Chair but the rest of His kin turned on Him and bounced Him back down to that fabled "window seat", His spreading butt had been stuck in for the last few years.
Being the manly man He is, my Husband threw a tantrum then sulked Himself into a drunken stupor for a few days in between recklessly driving his super-charged Oldsmobile 442 V-8 muscle car with the poorly engineered, noisomely cacophonic mufflers about the city.
He finally realized that nobody was paying attention. That set off another manly drunken tantrum when suddenly it dawned on Him......
"Hey! Nobody is paying attention! I'm getting paid a fat salary to play golf all morning, drink all afternoon while gawping at strippers and then bang interns all night and no one will say boo to Me!"
me, myself? i was suddenly flooded with extra work as every damn conspirator expected me to utilize my auditing skills to catch every other intrigant fiddling their department books. Driving me crazy, 'cause they were all guilty of financial shenanigans! When i realized what a snakepit i was trapped in, I made saving My Own Ass, Priority Number ONE.
Shielding Myself from the consequences of official investigation by making sure my signature and certification were removed from every incriminating document. There i was, pulling twelve to sixteen hour days to cover-up my knowledge of the endemic corrupt practices by the Family members who were officers of the Firm.
i was trapped in a grotesquely Dantean mirror image of 'The Embezzler's Quandary'. i had to be there every possible hour of every possible day to fiddle the books. No light at the end of this tunnel to Hell!
