The Gretchen Chronicles

"Oh, I feel you getting harder. You are going to cum."

Kirk was unable to speak. This was the most mind blowing blowjob Gretchen had given him. They were in a locked office at her work. She had simply taken him in there and started to unzip his pants.

"Cum for me, Kirk," she pleaded. It had been a few weeks. This was going to be a huge load. She was still a bit queasy in the stomach from the pregnancy. He didn't want to get it on her clothes.

"Oh God, Gretchen, this is intense. Here I go!"

He could still remember her legs and the black dress shoes while she was on her knees making his cock feel wonderful. Her tongue was working the sweet spot just under the head as he came, but something soft and silky wrapped around the tip to catch his load. He blasted so hard he thought she wouldn't keep the seal. She did. He kept arching his back further as she worked back and forth with her tongue. He tried not to moan but a few escaped his lips. Whatever she was using to catch his load felt good. He shot everything he had into it.

It was a silk napkin. As she stood she wrapped it deftly closed. It was practically dripping. "Grab the plastic bag from the trash can," she whispered. He obliged.

"Won't they notice it missing?" he asked.

"They have hundreds in the closet." Each Realtor's office had a table with two place settings for coffee and rolls. It was stylish. He had just spoiled one of the settings. Gretchen would have it immaculate within minutes.

"Don't kid yourself that they don't know what just happened," she smiled. "They know everything. They are a tight group."

He knew that. Two were brothers that had played on the cross town rival high school football team. The older one was his age. He had broken Karl's wrist on a vicious tackle that brought his mother out of the stands to scream at him. No hard feelings there, he hoped.

He laughed when she faced him, and grabbed the other napkin. A streak of cum had escaped, and was hanging from her hair.

"Thank you," she said with a hurt tone. "They have had enough to laugh about this week." Her eyes tried to pierce him like daggers, but he couldn't stop himself from letting out a slight snicker. He couldn't get the image out of his mind. The mind blowing blowjob was one thing. What she did to the car was something no one would ever forget.

It happened before cell phones. No photo or video was taken. Gretchen has that to be thankful for.

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Gretchen and Kirk lived in the tiny town of Louisville, Colorado. They pronounced the "s" in Louisville, CO. It was simply understood that for the city in Kentucky, the "s" was silent.

They both worked in the nearby city of Boulder, and went to the University of Colorado. Their schedules were crazy. Gretchen just getting hired as a receptionist in a realty office meant their schedules would be even crazier.

Karl and his brother's firm had hired Gretchen on the spot despite the fact she was six months pregnant. She had worked for their rival firm and had made a name for herself as a hard worker. That didn't stop the old firm from pulling the slimy, "sorry, we have to let you go," bs just before she delivered that was so common back then. Women had little to defend themselves against it, except for decent folk like Karl and his brother.

The firm was fairly large. It's only other rival was the legendary Goodacre Realty. The model/actress Jill Goodacre came from Boulder. Her father was a Realtor.

They all were from that "crosstown" gang that went to Fairview High. Boulder was a small enough town then for people to still remember their ties long into their adulthood. Karl and his brother had played for the state championship in football. Kirk had played for the less talent filled Boulder High, but had broken Karl's wrist during their junior year. That was what he was remembered for. After returning from his military duty, he would get the same comment when he met someone. "You broke...."

"Yes, I know."

It was different when he finally met Karl off of the football field. That was today. Fortunately, Gretchen had done something amazing to lighten the mood.

Gretchen didn't take well to her first pregnancy. She normally was a very even keeled, grounded in reality person. Now she was hilarious. She ate like crazy and gained over sixty five pounds. The first time she asked Kirk if he was going to eat something left on his plate, he just looked at her with his mouth hanging open. "Stop that, it's embarrassing," she snapped. They were at a fine restaurant.

Waterbeds were popular in the day. They had a king sized bed and she normally rolled down a small slope into him. Now he rolled into her. He never said a thing. For almost a week. Then he pointed it out during one of the few times they were able to have breakfast together. He had Cheerios flung at him.

Her old car had completely died when a service station didn't remember to put the bolt back in the oil pan after a change. Normally she wouldn't have done so, but this pregnancy...

She ran it with the oil light on and smoke pouring out the back until the engine seized on the short jaunt of highway coming into Boulder. The station paid her enough to get a new engine, but they had decided to save the money for the baby and got rid of the car.

That meant she drove one of his "babies". A 75 Trans Am he kept in cherry condition, or a 58 Chevy Apache long bed with stepsides. The latter usually ran.

The day she was hired by Karl she drove the Trans Am. He was off that day and offered to drive her, but she was worried about the whole broken wrist thing. When she called and he heard her voice, he was worried.

"Kirk, I am so sorry. Please don't be mad." She sounded like she was crying. Strangely, he could hear laughter in the background.

It must have been unrelated. "Don't cry, Gretchen. If you didn't get the job, we will get by."

"I got the job. It's your car."

Silence. His heart dropped to his stomach. "What happened?"

"I can't explain. Please Kirk. I am so sorry. Just come get me. You will see what I mean."

He hadn't driven so terrified in his life. It wasn't like she was a bad driver. She was safer than he was. What could have happened?

When he pulled into the parking lot his jaw dropped to the floor. He had never seen anything like it. How the hell had she done that? A crowd was standing at the window, they saw him and came out to join him. They looked at each other, then at the car. Then they all burst out laughing. Gretchen turned beet red. She actually stamped her foot.

The front end of the Trans Am was pointed up in the air. It was as if The Incredible Hulk was lifting it as high as it would go. It was being held in the air by, of all things, the anchor cable for a parking block.

Kirk wasn't sure about other areas, but when parking blocks started crumbling in Boulder, the cables started working themselves out of the ground. Somehow Gretchen had managed to puncture a front tire on one and keep going. He was surprised at the cable's strength. The front bumper was higher than his head.

He was nearly speechless. Only one thing popped into his mind. Looking at her new boss, Karl, he said, "you hired her after seeing this?"

Everyone roared with laughter. Gretchen punched his arm. Hard.

"No, I hired her BEFORE seeing this. I have to admit, it is pretty impressive." Everyone roared with laughter again.

Any thoughts of bad blood between Karl and him had been laughed away. He offered to leave his credit card to get it towed. Karl waved him off. They would take it out of Gretchen's check.

Kirk didn't even ask her until they were halfway home. In fact, he just turned to look, and she started. "It must have punctured the tire when I parked it. I was so nervous. When I went to back up it wouldn't go. I put it in first to try and rock it some, but that dang car takes off so fast." The rest was just tears. He reached to comfort her but she slapped his hand away and looked at him with daggers in her eyes. "You just sat there and laughed with them. I was so embarrassed."

"Well, you have to admit it is something you don't see every day. It was pretty damn funny."

He learned for the first time that making a pregnant woman cry was not a good thing. It went on for days.

The blowjob came a week later as a form of apology. The front end needed more than just a new tire.

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Eventually he apologized. For both of them the entire pregnancy was an adventure. After she started to show, she had the notion that it was unhealthy for him to be inside her. He understood. Her mother had described two miscarriages. He didn't want to take the chance either, even though science hadn't supported their fears.

That meant a lot of masturbation misadventure. The strangest was when she asked him to try a gentle sports cream on his dick. "Are you crazy? It will burn like hell."

The cream didn't smell as strongly of menthol as some of the other more traditional creams. After a lot of prodding he finally gave in. He was surprised. It burned, but didn't sting. If anything, the effect was too brief. After a while they grew bored with it and she broke out the oil for a real handjob. Just as she was about to start, one of her breasts started leaking milk.

"Hola," he said. "Isn't it way too early for that?"

"They've been doing that ever since I became pregnant. I guess that is why I actually have boobs now." She sat up and showed them off. He had noticed they had come in, but he never noticed how nicely shaped they were. He had seen plenty of lactating boobs before. Boulder was very open minded and women could breastfeed without someone trying to shame them. Gretchen's were different, however.

They were perfect. As she sat there with only the moonlight highlighting her body, he became extremely aroused. They say a woman is her most beautiful when pregnant. It was true.

"Wow, you are really getting hard," she said. "Is seeing milk come out of my boobs going to make you cum?"

"No, seeing you in the moonlight. You really are beautiful. You take my breath away."

She started crying. He started cumming. His first spurt caught both of them by surprise, splashing on the pillow next to his face. She was both laughing and crying. He started feeling the warmth of the sports cream again. She had switched back to it. Perfect timing. He shot a few violent spurts that came from deep within.

"I love you," he said.

"I know."

"It was only funny when Harrison Ford said it."

"Chauvinist," she sniped.

"Blowpig."

Her mouth dropped open and she froze. Then she slapped his dick. Hard. "Where the hell did that come from?" she demanded.

He was in trouble now. She looked fit to be tied. He had learned a long time ago it was best to just fess up in these situations.

"My brother," he said. "It rained on their honeymoon. In between sex one day they played a game. They dared each other to call the other the worst thing they could think of."

"So you decided just now to call me the winner?" She looked really angry.

"Actually, that wasn't the winner."

She grabbed the open tube of sports creme and his dick at the same time. If being pregnant hadn't made her slightly slower, he probably would have had permanent damage to his urethra. As it was, he never uttered the word "blowpig" again.

To her.

His brother gave him a T-shirt for his birthday that read, "Beware, I'm Married to Blowpig." Kirk burned it.

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She didn't need to tell him her water had broke, it woke him up. He was soaked. He climbed out of bed and helped her up. The contractions set in immediately.

"We won't make it to the hospital in the Trans Am. It has been snowing all day," she said.

She was right. The rear tires on the Trans Am were made for street racing, not snow. A few inches and it was grounded. "I'll call for an ambulance," he said.

"But-"

"It will be OK. Just focus on your breathing. That's it."

He headed to the kitchen to get the phone. As he looked outside, he gasped. At least two feet had come down. This was not going to be fun.

"Four hours?" he moaned. The 911 operator was kind, but unhelpful. They were having to clear the roads ahead of the lone ambulance that could get through. Boulder was a mess.

It was Apache time.

He thanked God it started. It fired right up as if it was Rudolph and it knew it was its time.

"Oh no. No no no! I'm not going in that thing!" Gretchen was adamant.

"Honey, it will be just fine."

"No it won't. We will get stuck or slide off the road. Then we will freeze to death."

"That's just the pregnancy talking. Come on. We can tell the Grandchildren about this someday."

"I hate you."

"I will hear worse before the nights over."

Like a giant green stallion the Chevy Apache plowed through the snow. They slipped. They slid. Gretchen screamed. Kirk was scared to death but having the time of his life.

They hit something, probably a parking block, when he spun into what looked like the hospital parking lot. Dust came down from the visors and nearly choked them. He cut his forehead from bumping the roof. He couldn't stop laughing. His nerves were fried.

The nurses and orderlies came out and couldn't believe they had made it. Gretchen didn't care. Her contractions were coming hard and fast. A wheelchair wasn't an option, the snow was so deep. A rather large orderly simply carried her fireman style and blazed through the snow like Jerome "The Bus" Bettis blazed through defenders years later.

They had made it. For the Apache, it was its last journey. It never started again. Godspeed to it.

Gretchen spent the next 36 hours in various stages of pain. Stephanie was face up. She wasn't coming out. When the docs finally decided on a C-Section and the epidural went in, Gretchen became a different person. The color returned to her face and she was laughing as they told the nurse about driving the truck in.

"Well, you are stuck here for Thanksgiving. May as well enjoy," she said.

It had been nearly two days. Another foot of snow had fallen. People were stranded in place. The locals were used to it. The wannabe Boulderites were upset. Nothing was open. There was no power except places that had generators like the hospital they were in. The Apache had really done a Rudolph and got them there during one of the worst storms ever.

Gretchen wouldn't let him name their girl Rudolph. Or Apache. She did give it a pat as they walked by it on their way home three days later. She started looking for the Trans Am. It wasn't there. Kirk led them up to a shiny new Subaru wagon. "We need to build our credit," he said.

Gretchen hugged him. Then punched his arm.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"For not getting the 4 Wheel Drive before the storm," she answered.

Kirk looked down at Stephanie, who was looking up at him with beautiful blue eyes. "Think she'll let me call the car Rudolph?" he asked.

He swore Stephanie winked at him.