Final Chapter
"I... I..." and she started crying again.
I tried my best to comfort her. I really wanted to hear what she was trying to tell me. I was hoping this would clear up a lot of my questions and concerns about that night.
"Calm down Margret. I promise you can tell me anything... anything at all."
"I can't tell you! You'll hate me forever." She sobbed.
It took all of my willpower and self-control to remain calm. "It's OK dear. I won't hate you... I promise. I love you."
That seemed to help, and she smiled at me weakly. I watched her closely as she got herself together enough to tell me what had gotten her so upset. I was anxious to finally get some answers, and yet, at the same time I dreaded it. This was going to be the moment of truth for her... at least I hoped it would be.
So many things were racing through my mind. Had she been unfaithful to me the night of our anniversary, or was there another explanation that would address my suspicions? Would I be as happy after hearing what she had to say, as I was an hour ago? I had to prepare myself for whatever was coming.
"I'm so, so sorry. I'm so sorry Jim. It wasn't my fault, I swear!"
"What wasn't your fault Margret? What did you do that you have to feel so sorry and upset for?"
"On the night of our anniversary, I... I had sex with Jason. But! It wasn't my fault!"
Well. Here it was. My worst fears confirmed. My heart was broken completely and permanently by the woman I had loved unconditionally for more than a decade. I was sad, afraid, and angry. I was angry at her betrayal and afraid of what lie ahead for us. I was sad that the love I had thought to be so perfect had been so easily killed. All of it beyond my control or ability to change or repair. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I wanted to be able to go back in time, and change this. I knew it was impossible.
As calmly as I could, I asked, "How could you do this? What do you mean it wasn't your fault? Did you trip, and accidentally fall on his dick? I'm sorry, but I'm having a very hard time with this!" I wasn't doing very well with remaining calm.
"I didn't do it willingly! If you will just hear me out, I can explain why it wasn't my fault. Please! Please, just listen to what I have to tell you." She begged.
"I will try. But, I can't promise you that I will be able to stay calm. You know I've never hit a woman in my life, but you are really pushing me hard Margret!"
She sat back, looking concerned, and continued. "I didn't screw him on my own free will."
"Are you telling me that he raped you?"
"Yes, and no." she said.
"This is pure bullshit! You're going to have to be clearer than that. Either you were raped or you weren't." I was now yelling at her.
"I was drugged." She said.
"And you know that, how?" I asked.
"He told me... It gets worse."
"He told you that he drugged you, and then fucked you, and there was nothing you could do to stop it? Drugging and fucking you is rape too, you know!"
"No. It wasn't like that. I didn't know I was drugged the night of our anniversary. I found out later... You were drugged too."
"What! I was drugged! You drugged me?"
"No! No! I didn't drug you. Jason did!"
"Alright Margret. Enough of this! I'm done trying to pry this out of you. Just tell me everything right now! Just in case you haven't figured it out... I AM EXTREMELY PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!" I shouted. I was so mad, I was literally shaking.
She started crying again. I hadn't realized it, but I was now pacing back and forth, clenching my fists. I was way beyond feeling hurt and sad. I was madder than hell.
"The night of our anniversary, when you brought Jason over, and introduced him to me... it wasn't the first time I had met him."
This was a complete surprise to me. I was going to ask her about this, but decided to wait to see what she had to say.
"It was the first time I was formally introduced to him, or at least knew who he was, but I had seen him before. Do you remember the arguments we used to get into on the nights that I got home late?"
"Yes. I remember them. I also remember feeling like you were not telling me the truth. You said that the meetings just ran longer than usual." I replied.
"Well... that was a lie. Donna and I would go out for drinks after the meetings were over, and I was afraid you would tell me I couldn't go."
"Margret... Have I ever told you that you couldn't go out for a drink with a friend?" I had to wonder how many more lies there had been.
"No." She hung her head and began sobbing again. "I'm going to be completely honest with you, and hope that you will understand and forgive me. So... That wasn't all there was to it. Donna had been telling me about her relationship with Bill and how he was her cuckold. She told me how much fun it was, and how she enjoyed her freedom. I envied her, but I swear to you that I never wanted you to be my cuckold. I would never do that to you... unless it was what you wanted."
"And you knew how I felt about that... correct? Is that why you wanted that guy in the bar to play with your tits in front of me? Were you trying to get me on the road to being a cuckold?" I asked.
"Yes and no. I knew how you felt about that, and that night with Stan was not leading you into anything! It was nothing more than trying something that might be exciting for both of us. When Donna and I would be out, guys would hit on us all the time, and that was all there was. I always said no to anything they wanted. I didn't even dance with them, and I turned down free drinks too. Donna did just the opposite. I felt really uncomfortable sitting there while this happened. I felt out of place... like a third wheel."
"So, she twisted you arm to make you stay?"
"No. It wasn't like that. I saw the fun she was having, and after awhile, I thought it wouldn't hurt anyone if I sad yes to a dance, or the offer of a drink, and I swear to you that it never, ever went any further than that!" She said.
"I am not going to sit here and tell you, this isn't upsetting me, because the simple fact is, that I am clearly upset. Why didn't you think you could be honest with me? The simple fact that you felt you needed to hide this, tells me you knew it was wrong."
"I didn't tell you because, we were going over some rough spots in our marriage, and I didn't want to throw gasoline on that fire. If you think about it... this was nothing that I haven't done when you were there... so... No, I didn't think it was wrong. I never let them touch me inappropriately! I just didn't want to add to our problems."
"And you thought staying out late was a good way to make things better and lying about it as well! We've gotten off track. Tell me about Jason." I said.
"I had seen Jason on a few of the nights that Donna and I were out. He was with a couple of other guys, and they sent drinks over to us. He brought drinks over to our table once, and asked me to dance, but something didn't feel right about him, so I told him no thank you. He left, but I knew he was angry when he walked away."
"OK... Let's get back to the night of our anniversary." I said impatiently.
"When you brought him over to our table, I was not happy about it. I knew he was trouble, but you seemed to like him so much, that I kept quiet. That was my big mistake. Dear... he drugged our drinks that night. Mine was laced with ecstasy, and yours had Rohypnol in it. That's why I'm telling you that it wasn't my fault."