The Glimpse Ch 02

Fallow vs. Fallow

I eventually took residence in St. Louis and got a job as a test pilot for a military aircraft manufacturer. I let my employer know what was going on with my soon-to-be ex-wife and that I needed a week off. He understood and gave me all the time I needed.

Once I was settled I drove back to Jacksonville to arrange the divorce process. It has been a month since I left and I have to say that things started looking positive in a different way. I was still distraught over Lisa, but I was learning to get on with life. Simplicity. Get up, remember to breathe in and out, and do my job. I know it is a sad existence, but it is better than the last month with Lisa.

I hired a well-known lawyer and discussed with him what my wishes are. He informed me that this would take about 5 months to be final so I have to be patient.

"Is there a way to get through this and not have to see her?" I asked.

"Normally no, but since you are making such an overly generous offer I think it might be possible. You would have to do a limited Power of Attorney to take care of the estate and documentation."

We worked up the paperwork and the restrictions were that he didn't sign anything without my personal consent. I also prepared a notarized VHS tape to express my wishes at the meetings.

5 days later we had our first proceeding in this long nightmare. It was scheduled for 10:00 am and I had finished up some paperwork with the lawyer at 8:30 and was heading home. When the time came, they were all there and the meeting started with a statement by my attorney Patrick.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Good morning. There has been an unusual development that you will find great interest in. In the folders in front of you, you will notice changes and other documents. First, Mr. Joseph A. Fallow has given me limited power of attorney to act in his behalf. He made it clear that is how he wanted it. He just started a new career and his presence is required there..." Lisa looked down and started crying.

"...To be brief, the proposal is this. He has decided to leave all assets to Mrs. Lisa E. Fallow, to include the house and all personal property contained on the physical property, all financial assets to include the joint accounts, credit cards, bonds and trust funds left by his grandfather kept in the safe deposit box. He is forfeiting both vehicles, the Toyota Camry and the Jeep Grand Cherokee, which is parked in the lot outside. Mrs. Fallow, if necessary, we are willing to drive the vehicle to your address for you to take possession. In short, Mr. Fallow agrees to leave this union with absolutely nothing in exchange for an expeditious Irreconcilable Differences Divorce. Gentlemen, it doesn't get easier than this. I also states that if you contest this offer then he will fight in court and all facts that haven't become public record most certainly will."

"Mr. Strickland. I am sorry, but this doesn't sound like Joe. I can't agree to this unless I hear it from him." Lisa claimed as she wiped her eyes.

"We thought you may feel this way and have prepared this presentation for you." Patrick pushed play on the remote. I made the following quick statement.

"For the record, my name is Joseph Allen Fallow. It is August 29, 2002 and it is 8:53 am at the Strickland Law Firm in Jacksonville, FL. Present before me are my attorney Patrick Strickland and a notary public. I have given Limited Power of Attorney to Mr. Strickland to sign documents in my behalf. He knows my wishes but I will summarize them briefly.

I, at sound mind and body, leave absolutely everything to Lisa Fallow. All funds, trusts, bond, accounts, property, the house and all belongings therein, both vehicles. I ask for nothing in exchange for a quick termination of the marriage. I am aware that it is unusual for both parties are not there but I wanted you to hear the reasons straight from me.

First, I am needed at my job. I have no intention of telling you where that is because of the most important reason I am not present, which is simple. I can't stand the thought of even being in the same room as Lisa Fallow and quite frankly never want to see that woman again. I ask only that you please respect my wishes and privacy and grant my inevitable divorce from Lisa. If you refuse, then all of the facts will become public and I know neither of us wants that. I will get nasty if I have to. I don't know how to make things any easier for all parties. Ladies and Gentlemen, Thank you and have a wonderful life."

Patrick pushed the stop button and turned the TV off and gave them, more specifically Lisa, a few minutes to digest the tape.

"Gentlemen, Mrs. Fallow, We hope you consider this offer and give us your decision within a week, at my clients request. If there is nothing further then please excuse me as I have other matters to attend to. Until then, enjoy the rest of your week." Patrick said professionally.

Lisa's attorneys turned to her and could see the pain in her face. "Well Lisa. What do you think? Truthfully, this is a hell of an offer for you. He's right. This is very unusual. What do you want to do?"

"What do I want to do? I want to die! I don't give a damn about what he is leaving to me. I want what he is taking with him!" With that she broke down sobbing, staring into her lap. "Please, could you leave me alone for a few minutes?"

"Sure, Mrs. Fallow. Come on, Charlie. Mrs. Fallow, we are going to head back to the office. Give us a call when you decide or if you need to just talk. I mean it. Anytime."

The two attorneys left the building. Lisa continued crying her eyes out and realized she needed to get her composure. Then she felt she had to talk to Joe. She got up and went to see Patrick.

"Mr. Strickland, could I please talk to Joe?"

"I have to keep his interests. He doesn't want to talk to you. And I can't give you his number, you know that. I'm so sorry about this, Lisa. I wish I could help you."

A tear rolled down her cheek. She replied in desperation. "You absolutely can help me. Help me talk to him. I don't care about this attorney/client privilege bullshit. I care about keeping my husband. We both did a bad thing and I know mine was far worse than his was and I want to make up for it with all my heart. Please help me, Mr. Strickland. I don't know what else to do other than promise you I will agree to all terms immediately after I talk to him. Can you help me?"

"Lisa, let me see what I can do. I can't promise he will agree to it, but I will ask. How's that?" He handed her his handkerchief.

"That's all you can do, I guess. Thank you."

"No problem. Leave me your number and I will call you when I know something. Good day, Lisa."

She left the number and went home. She sat around for a couple of hours when Patrick called to tell her that I would call her home at 7:00 tonight. For once in the past month her tears were from happiness. She hadn't talked to me since the night before my delayed departure in Hartford.

I was right on time calling her. She picked up on the first ring.

"JOE?"

"Hey Lisa."

"Oh my God! It's so good to hear your voice. Thank you so much for calling."

"Whatever it takes to get this over with, Lisa. What do you want? I left everything to you and I even intend to cash out my 401k from the airlines and deposit it into your account. Help you pay some of our bills."

"Joe I don't need you to do that. I just need you to talk to me and hear me out. What's the problem? We have been married for seven years."

"You went to the meeting today. You saw the tape. You read the letter I wrote when I left. What part of 'I want nothing to do with you' do you not understand? Why are we even having this conversation?" My voice was getting harsh.

"Yeah, I saw all of that. But what part of 'for better or for worse' and 'til death do you part' do YOU not understand? I don't want a divorce, Joe. I want you! I love you!" She tried pleading with me and I heard the crack of her voice.

"You want me? I bet! You want me to be a cuckold for you. You want to humiliate me and tear what little life I have left in me out and burn it! You love me?" I laughed. "Yeah, right! Let me let you in on a little secret. You don't treat people like the way you treated me when you love someone. Now, let's get on with this. I thought you had something to say." I said bluntly.

She started crying hard and had to catch her breath, then continued. "Joe, please hear me out. I am so sorry for everything that happened to us. I know you loved me and would never cheat on me intentionally. Barbara confirmed that today."

"What? You talked to Barbara?" I was shocked.

"I did more than that. I went in to give back your uniforms because they have been bugging me for a few days for them. I went in and on my way to your old supervisor's office, I saw Barbara come out of his office. I couldn't believe it! She said 'hello' and smiled like nothing ever happened but her eyes said that I was fool and she had been with my husband. I thought to myself, "Bull-Shit!" and I reared back and put that bitch on her ass."

"You hit her?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing; though it didn't matter.

"I'll say. I started punching her smug face, calling her a whore. After just a few seconds Phil came out and pulled me off of her. He asked what was happening and I screamed that she was the cause of you leaving me and I was going to kill her. He ushered me into the office to calm down and we talked for a while. Come to find out that Barbara had just quit. She told Phil that she found a better job. Well afterwards, I left and Barbara was waiting for me next to my car. She quickly told me what had happened that night at the party and that aside from doing what you did your only other options were to throw her out the front door or out the window. She apologized to me and we went our own ways."

"And you think that is why I left? Because of Barbara?"

"No, but it was something I needed to deal with. Hopefully she will think twice about messing with married men. Anyway, Joe, I was crushed when you confessed to me. I am glad you used to love me and trust me enough to tell me. Joe, I felt ultimately betrayed, humiliated by you and Barbara (of all people) and felt that I wasn't woman enough to keep you faithful and all I wanted to do was show you how I felt and make sure you remembered it. This whole thing was so stupid. I was so mad at you I thought I could kill you. Making me feel like this. I didn't want to go on with us if you had no idea how I felt. So, I came up with my brilliant plan to get back at you. The problem was I confused the anger I felt with the hurt I felt and I was on a course to dog you until I didn't feel hurt anymore. Even Rob tried to warn me on the second day we got together while you sat quietly listening to me hang myself. The more I hurt, the more I tried to humiliate you so that you would never do this again. I never once stopped to consider how bad you already felt because you betrayed me or what it felt like to be replaced with another man right in front of your eyes, or how much you must have loved me to even agree to all of this. I am so sorry, sweetheart. When I think about it now it must have really crushed you that I wouldn't even acknowledge you. The night you came home, I told Rob that this was our last time and that I was going to work things out with you; that you had suffered enough. Then we woke up and found your letter, I realized you suffered far worse than any man should ever have to. Far worse than I did. And Rob, he really hit home. Saying, "What did you expect? You drove him away. And, if I ever fall in love, I hope she loves me half as much as Joe loves you, to put up with so much of this. Then he said that I made a terrible mistake." Joe, I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breath. I felt like I had a 10-ton rock lying on my chest. I started drinking vodka to settle me down and kindly asked Rob to leave. That I didn't need him anymore. He understood and left quietly. Joe, I have hardly slept since you left, more like passing out. And I wake up to the nightmare of you not being there every day. I don't care anymore what you and Barbara did at that party. I just want you home. In my life. In my arms. Please Joe! I need you. Please come home, or hell, I'll come to you. I don't care. We belong together, baby. Let's get together and work on our marriage and let me show you that I love you and will gratefully spend my life making my stupidity up to you, making you love me again."

"What? Lisa, when did I ever say I didn't love you? When?"

"Do you still love me Joe?" She asked hoping.

"Of course I still love you, I can't just turn that off like some light switch."

"See, honey, that's just one more reason for us to get together and work this out..."

I cut her short. "Not so fast, just stop! I love the woman I married. Not the woman you have become. The woman I married didn't have that kind of malice and ruthlessness in her. She was a loving, caring, fun and compassionate person who usually put the needs of other before hers. The person I left is the type to shove a log up someone's ass and break it off."

"I'm still the same woman you married. Sure, we both have changed some since then but you are still number one in my life. I love you!"

"Look, I, in no way, want to be with you. You still don't know how I feel. And until it happens to you, you can't even fathom it."

"Alright, then give me the treatment I gave you. Would that make you feel better? I certainly deserve it. Please! Just come home." She said begging. She started to cry again.

"Hell no! I'm not giving you the satisfaction of being that close to me again. Plus, I wouldn't do what you did to my worse enemy. You just don't get it! Lisa, maybe this can explain it to you. I wish I never met you! I wish you never walked in that bar 8 years ago. I remember thanking you for showing me what love really feels like. Well, if I had any idea how painful love could be I wouldn't have walked away from you. I would have run for my life. I would have been working on a promotion to Commander right now. I had a promising future in the Navy and I gave it up because I love you. I have always been honest, caring and worked hard to make us work. To make you happy. I wish you never came in my life. Now I am working on getting you out of it. So, if you love me..." I chuckled "like you say you do, then respect my wishes and feelings and sign the fucking papers!"

I think she expected me to say this kind of stuff. She took a deep breath.

"Joe. Tell me something and be honest. Ok?" She was calmer now.

"Sure"

"Do you still love me?"

I paused, trying to answer her honestly. Did I really still love her? I know the pain is still there just as strong. How can someone hurt you if you don't love them? Why didn't I ever want to talk to her again? Well, frankly because it would just stoke the fires again and I needed for them to die out. Do I love her?

I sighed, regretting the answer. "Yes, Lisa, I still love you! But..."

"Say no more, Joe. That's all I needed to know. I will sign the papers tomorrow. But know one thing before we hang up tonight. I love you and will never give up on you. Good night, Joe." She sounded almost cheerful before she hung up.

What the hell was she up to? That's all she needed to know? Somehow I didn't feel good about this. I didn't know what this woman was thinking.

Lord in heaven, why did I tell her that I loved her? Maybe honesty wasn't always the best policy. It sure got me in a jam this time.

The next evening Patrick called and told me that it was all in the court and judges hands now. Lisa had signed the papers and seemed to be much better than the day before. She even seemed a little cheerful. I was at a loss for words. Well, she gave me what I asked for. I suppose I should be thankful.

Then, reality set in. I wasn't married anymore. Lisa is not my wife anymore. I'm not a navy pilot anymore. I'm still not a father and I am alone again. That in itself wasn't bad except I just finished with the best 8 years of my life. Oh, God. I needed to move on.

The Next Step.

Well, it was six months since I had seen Lisa and I was doing very well, financially, at my job. I was doing a lot of R & D work with different types of flight controls to be used on the new F/A-18 E/F model being built called the 'Super Hornet'. I'll tell you one thing. That is an awesome machine. Of course, I can't go into specifics due to confidentiality, but from an aviator's standpoint, it's incredible. But then, so is the current A/C models as compared to the F-14, A-4, A-6, A-7 and every other jet out there.

Plus, I get the added bonus of performing test flights in this bad baby. God, I missed this. The speed, maneuverability and accessories. The freedom in it. The rush! It's a blast.

The bad part of this job for me at first was that I was off work early and had a lot of time in front of the TV, bored out of my mind. Oh, it was cool at first. Had a lot of time to think and figure out what I want to do with my life besides work. I noticed my pants getting looser. Not eating a regular meal had shed some weight off me. But, who the hell wants to cook for just themselves?

My daily routine was getting monotonous. I called my buddy Mark and we chatted for a while. He said he would love for me to come and visit him and Pam. It really sounded good to me. I hadn't seen him in over 3 years and I needed an enjoyable vacation. I realized I was so lucky to work for a company that normally doesn't have a problem giving you time off, provided it's not excessive. The next day I was on a plane to see Mark and Pam.

Mark and Pam were like a sight for sore eyes. It was nice to be treated like family for a change. The only problem I had was while Mark and I got caught up on what's been going on, watching sports and working on his toy (1976 Camaro), Pam often tried getting me into conversations where Lisa was brought up. Sure, it made a little sense. Pam never knew me without Lisa, but right now that was not a conversation I wanted to get into. She did manage to tell me that Lisa was considering moving back in the area. I thought it was a good thing I was only visiting.

Mark had suggested I find a hobby to keep myself busy when off work. He believed, and I guess I agree that I would never move on with my life sitting at home watching TV. He and Pam had the idea to take me to this new bar in town that played mostly southern rock. That is both of their favorite music genre. Sounded like fun to me too. So we went.

The place was hysterically typical. 2 pool tables, smoky room, small dance floor, long bar, etc. The music was great. We played a few games of pool, relaxing, getting a good buzz going. Just having a blast. When I looked at the pool table next to us, my jaw dropped. The most incredible display of ass was displayed wrapped in a short (but not too short) tight denim skirt. She made her shot and stood upright. Fucking gorgeous! Brown hair. Tanned athletic legs. Small pert chest. Pouty lips. A more than moderate amount of make-up. I haven't noticed a woman like that in a long time. Ever since...well...

I continued watching the other table looking forward to her bending over again, or just admiring the grace in which she moved. She was captivating! She eventually had a shot where she bent over right in front of me. When she did, she turned to look at me and gave me a wink. I wanted to throw her on the table and fuck the shit out of her. But that isn't what a gentleman would do, now is it. Pam abruptly said she was ready to find a table and sit for a while. She seemed a little miffed about something.

After a while at the table, she pulled Mark up to dance with her. I just sat back and watched them. Mark really was a lucky man. Pam was perfect for him. And very attractive at that. Mark and I go way back to being roommates at FSU. We have been through a lot during our tenure there and done a lot of crazy shit. But a kinder heart, you'll never find. He deserves Pam. I don't know a whole lot about her as far as her history but she seems sweet enough.