My beautiful bride Lissy and I moved into the neighborhood we live in a few years ago for a couple reasons. It's quiet, safe, close to work, and, perhaps most importantly, has a real sense of community. People know each other and go out of their way to be friendly. To show what I mean, the neighborhood gathers together at least a couple times a year to share food, drink, and a good time. The Fourth of July and Christmas are the typical times we meet, and the story I'm about to relate happened during our Christmas party last year.
As I said, the neighborhood typically has a Christmas Party. Somebody agrees to host it at their home and the other neighbors bring food and the other party supplies. In this case, our neighbors Steve and Alexandra, who lived a couple houses down the block from Lissy and I, were the hosts. They were in their late 40s, he is an engineer for an aerospace company and she is an accountant for a car dealership. Lexi, as she preferred to be called, was quite petite, I don't even know if she was five feet tall, and I doubt she weighed more than a hundred pounds. She had a cute face, long brown hair, a nicely toned body, and small but perky boobs. The most striking thing about her was her smile, which I swear could light up a dark room, and her piercing blue eyes, which seemed to peer directly into your soul.
I woke up early the day of the party and set to work helping Lissy make her amazing lasagna, an apple pie, and a chocolate cake to take as our contributions. In the midst of the work, my boss called and informed me that he needed me to sit in on a conference call later that day. I tried to get out of it, telling him that I had a previous engagement, which I did, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. One of our clients based in Dubai had come up with some new ideas they wanted us to incorporate, and since I headed up this particular account, I was naturally the best suited to hear what they had to say.
"That sucks," I stated matter of factly, hanging up the phone.
"What's wrong, baby?"
I told her about my new mission.
"You're going to miss the party," she said, looking a little downcast.
"I should be able to come for a little. I'll just have to excuse myself and head home early. Maybe if we finish up early, I can stop back."
"I sure hope so. I feel bad you're going to be working while everyone else is having fun."
"Yeah, but what can you do." I gave her a big hug and a kiss before returning to the work at hand.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and a little before six we packed up our food and walked down the street to the party. Everyone was in a happy and festive mood. Lexi was dressed as Mrs. Claus and was having a great time handing out candy and other sweets to the neighborhood kids. Steve merrily manned the bar, doling out cups of his famous rum punch and beer to party goers. I made small talk with everyone, ate some food and had a couple cups of punch. After an hour or so, I excused myself, vowed to return if the call ended quickly enough, kissed Lissy, and headed back home to get ready for the call.
Our client called right on time and we quickly got down to business. I couldn't believe my ears. The ideas were simply ludicrous, guaranteed to result in losses of both money and resources. I tried to interject as tactfully as I could, but the manager of the company was quite animated and it was difficult to get a word in. When I did, he brushed off my concerns and launched right back into his description of his plan. After about a half hour, the guy seemed to lose his steam. He asked if I had any questions, to which I replied no, even though I wanted to ask him if he was fucking insane. I told him we'd be in contact, and then ended the call.
I sat there for a while, just trying to make sense of everything I had heard. I sighed, opened up my laptop, and began to type up the handwritten notes I had taken during the call, making sure to be as meticulous as possible. After a few minutes of typing, I paused to review what I had written and to think through the amount of commentary I wanted to include to help my boss really appreciate the stupidity of some of these plans. Halfway through my draft, a tapping sound caught my attention. I strode to the door of my office, opened it and yelled upstairs to see if Lissy had returned. No answer. I listened intently, but didn't hear anything, so I returned to my desk to finish my notes. Just as I resumed typing, I again thought I heard a tapping, this time a little louder.
"What the hell is that?" I muttered to myself a little annoyed. I stood to listen more intently. There it was again. This time there was no mistaking it. Someone was tapping on the sliding glass door that led from my office onto our patio. I opened the long drapes that covered the door and was surprised to see Lexi standing there with a platter of something in her hand.
"Hey! What brings you out tonight," I asked, pulling open the door. "Don't you still have guests at the house?"
"Yep, they're still there, but hubby's got the situation under control." She smiled and stepped inside, sliding the door closed behind her.
"I felt bad that you had to leave early, so I decided to bring some cookies and other stuff over to you."
"Gee, thanks," I said, returning her smile. "You could've just given it to Lissy."
"I know, but I wanted to bring it over myself," she said, walking over to my desk and setting down the plate. "How did the conference call go?"
"Not well, but I sorta expected it to be a train wreck, so no real surprises." I began spouting off some details of the client's plan, interspersed with my own thoughts on how ridiculous the ideas were. I paused for a moment, surveying my guest. She had traded in her ridiculous Mrs. Claus outfit for a pair of jeans, a sweater, and a pair of boots. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and I got just the slightest whiff of perfume. "I'm sorry," I said, "I didn't mean to bore you with the details of my work. I highly doubt you came over here to listen to that."
"Oh, it's not a problem," she said, her amazing smile flashing. "But you're right; it wasn't the primary reason for stopping by." She sat down on the edge of my desk.
"Oh, here I thought Lissy sent you over to provide a little therapy," I grinned.
She laughed softly, "not exactly. See, my family got your family in the gift exchange, so I'm here to deliver that as well."
"You don't look like Mrs. Claus," I said.
"Yeah, I had to get out of that thing, it's not very comfortable. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all, you look absolutely fine to me," she blushed. I didn't see any other boxes or bags with her, so I wondered what the present would be.
"I'm not sure what you'll think of this present, but I got the idea from Lissy, so I'm hoping she knows what she's talking about."
"I'm sure I'll like it," I replied, my curiosity really getting the best of me at this point.
She slid off the desk and crossed the room to where I was standing. She stood on her tiptoes and brought her mouth next to my ear.
"I'm here to give you a Christmas blowjob," she whispered, her warm breath tickling my ear.
"What!" I exclaimed. I began to think that Steve's rum punch was playing tricks on my hearing.
"I'm here to give you a Christmas blowjob," she repeated a little louder.
"That's what I thought you said, I just didn't believe it." She took a step back sheepishly looking at the floor, apparently taking my shock as an indication that I wasn't interested. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
"I'm sorry," she apologized, moving towards the door. "I didn't mean to say that and I'm sorry for embarrassing you."
"Hold on a minute," I said, gently placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her from leaving. "I'm not embarrassed or upset, I just didn't expect to hear something like that from you. How did you get this idea?"
"Well, like I said, Lissy and I had been talking about how difficult it is to buy for certain people, especially our husbands. She told me that you don't help because any time she asks you what you want, you just smile and say something like "you, naked in my bed."
I smiled, "yeah, I guess that's true."
