She reached across the table and offered her hand. "Hi, I'm Wendy Parmelly." I gingerly reached out and returned the handshake. "I see you in passing all the time but we've never had a chance to formally meet."
I tried to be as mannerly as I could because she caught me with a mouthful of food just as she sat down.
"I'm Jack Fitzgerald," I said as soon as I had swallowed. It was a wonder I hadn't choked.
We exchanged pleasantries and polite conversation while we both finished our lunch. I was so enamored with her that before I even knew what hit me, almost two hours had passed and I was extremely late in getting back to the fire station to finish my shift.
I knew my captain was going to be extremely pissed at my tardiness but I totally didn't care as Wendy and I had exchanged phone numbers and promises to meet up for coffee in the near future. It was definitely worth the ass chewing!
We took it very, very slow. Almost all of our dates at the beginning were during the daytime and were usually to public places - the mall, our one and only museum, various restaurants for lunches, lots of bike rides and trail hikes, and movie matinees. Wendy was very forthcoming when talking about Kevin and, oftentimes, I would let her cry out her frustrations at having the life she dreamed of with Kevin taken from her.
We had been doing our version of casual dating nearly four months before Wendy eventually let me kiss her good night after an evening with dinner and a movie. I walked her up to the front of the small bungalow that she and Kevin bought as their starter home, held her hands in mine, and leaned in for a gentle but heartfelt good night kiss.
I promised myself that I wouldn't even begin to think about having a sexual relationship with Wendy until she was good and ready and resigned myself, with no hesitation, that I would wait until we were married, if I was fortunate enough to get to that point.
Wendy and I had been dating for nearly a year before either of us brought up the topic of getting married. I started the conversation by simply asking if she saw herself getting married again and moving on. She said yes. Much to my surprise, she furthered the conversation by stating that she thought she could see herself with me in her future, too.
Needless to say, my heart exploded with joy at hearing those words. From that moment on, our relationship began to deepen. She would still talk about Kevin a lot and her previous life with him. But instead of the conversation turning into an emotional maelstrom, she seemed like she was to the point where she could think of him and smile while knowing that she was still a young and vibrant woman with a future ahead of her.
We continued dating for another six months before I felt that I was comfortable enough to pop the question. At that point, it was three-and-a-half years after Kevin's passing. I asked her to marry me at one of our favorite parks overlooking the Red River Valley.
Wendy said 'yes' immediately and I was immensely happy. But shortly after agreeing to marry me, Wendy had a couple of requests. First, she wanted me to formally ask her father Mike for her hand in marriage. And, second, she asked me to please speak with Kevin's parents, Ed and Joanne, for their blessing as well.
Asking Mike Hasseman, Wendy's father, for permission to marry his daughter was a piece of cake. I had really hit it off with Wendy's parents, Mike and Christie, when I had first met them. But I had definitely NOT hit it off when I met Ed and Joanne for the first time. Or any other time after that, for that matter.
To say that they were cool and icy to me would be like saying the North Pole has a slight chill in the air. It was clear that they saw me as an interloper and potentially the man who would erase the life Wendy and Kevin had shared. That was certainly not my intention in any way, shape or form. I did my best to ingratiate myself to them but all I can say is that they were cordial, and reluctantly so, at best. They did little to get to know me at the various social functions we went to, either at Mike and Christie's house, or at the Parmelly's, to which Wendy was always invited.
I seemed to get along okay with Greg, Bobby and Melinda. Nate, the youngest of the Parmelly clan, was the most difficult to read. He always looked at me with some kind of goofy smirk, like he was in on a joke that everyone else was telling behind my back. I couldn't help but sense that Ed and Joann Parmelly hoped that somehow Nate would come in and sweep Wendy off her feet and restore her place in the Parmelly family.
When I showed up that fateful night at the Parmelly house to ask for their blessing for Wendy and me, Ed Parmelly looked as though someone had just shot him in the stomach. Neither Ed nor Joanne said a word at first, just stunned silence. Ed rose slowly from his chair, went upstairs and went to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Joanne tried to compose herself and simply said, "It's nothing against you, Jack. You seem like an awfully nice man. We just want what's best for Wendy, that's all."
I had absolutely ZERO idea of how to take her response. When I saw Wendy the next day, she asked me how it went. I struggled with what to say to her, so I just said, "Ed and Joanne want you to be happy." It wasn't exactly a lie but Wendy was ecstatic.
All of that led to our big wedding day, the day that should have been the happiest of my life. We followed tradition and didn't have the pictures taken until after the wedding was over and before the reception.
I should have known something was up from all of the pictures Wendy had taken of herself with Ed and Joanne. Add to that the fact that Ed was also in a tuxedo, almost like he was the father of the bride. The weird part was that Mike and Christie Hasseman, her parents, didn't seem to mind in the least.
I quickly began to feel like the third wheel at my own wedding. I got the first dance with Wendy, which was amazing. I felt like our bodies could melt into each other and, for a few brief moments, it felt like we were alone in a universe of two.
Soon, the father-bride/mother-son dance came along and Wendy danced with Mike while I shared a dance with my wonderful mother, Sandra. My father, Jim, watched from his seat and beamed with pride. He would share the next dance with Wendy.
But I couldn't believe it when the next dance was announced that it would be a very special dance shared only by Wendy and Ed Parmelly. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed that I was stuck watching my new bride dance with the father of her deceased first husband. I also felt like an asshole for feeling that way. Ed and Wendy were obviously having an intimate conversation while dancing and they both had tears in their eyes.
Over the next three hours, I got to dance with my new bride twice and was cut in both times by none other than Ed Parmelly. The only reason I even let him was because I was too big of a puss to make a scene at my own wedding.
Finally, the reception and dance came to an end and Wendy and I were able to retreat from the banquet room to our private suite for the night. I was nervous as hell knowing that we were about to finally consummate our marriage and love for one another. It would be the chance to finally put all of the frustrations of the wedding and reception behind us and truly express our love for one another.