On the Road to Mamallapuram

I looked at myself in the mirror and liked what I saw.

The skater sun dress was so thin it felt like I had nothing on. I could see right through the white material. The only thing keeping it from being indecent was the profusion of colorful geometric shapes all over it.

I twisted and turned and stretched my arms in every direction, watching how the dress moved and how much of me I could see.

Did I dare? I did!

I pulled down the zipper in the back, unhooked my strapless bra, pulled it out, zipped up and looked in the mirror again. Success!

Though my breasts grew the first time I was pregnant, all my friends are bigger than me. Arush knows how insecure I am, so he often compliments them.

This time, the advantage was mine. Nobody but me could carry off this dress. As I moved around, I exposed plenty of swells and curves, but not a nipple.

I remembered how wide Arush's eyes were when I modeled the dress for him the day I bought it. I had the bra on then or it might have sent him into shock.

He asked where I intended wearing it. I told him it was for the holiday in Mamallapuram. I could see that wasn't enough and had to think fast.

"I can put it on over my bathing suit when I come out of the water."

That seemed to satisfy him.

I took a few more turns in front of the mirror. For a moment, I wondered if I should take off my white cotton panties to see if the colorful triangles, squares and circles covered my naughty bits.

No time. Kama would be there any minute. I better hurry and put on my bra. Suddenly a thought occurred to me that made me stop.

From the moment Arush had introduced his brother to me, Kama had never stopped teasing and flirting. Even here at the conference. Two nights ago, during the dinner they hosted for their managers, he kept talking to me in words with double meanings.

Like always, he tormented me until I blushed. Then he laughed so loudly that everyone in the room turned to look. I hate it when he does that. It has nothing to do with him being a good brother-in-law. I know we can always depend on him to do anything for us, just like we would do the same for him.

Kama is a player and changes girlfriends almost monthly. He once married a girl who looked like a supermodel, but it didn't last. Now he is Mr. Don Juan again.

Arush wouldn't tell me the reason for the divorce.

"It's a mess," he had said. "It's better you don't know."

I wondered if Kama had cheated, or had she?

What stopped me from putting my bra back on was realizing that today I could turn the tables on Kama.

Arush, Kama and I were supposed to drive to Mamallapuram that morning in a rented car. Kama's current girlfriend couldn't join us there until tomorrow.

But an important meeting had come up for Arush at the last minute, and he was gone from our room at the Hyatt Regency before I woke up. Kama didn't go to SRM with him because he wasn't needed.

Arush had arranged for another car to be brought to the hotel for him. Kama and I would drive the first car to the guest house and get settled. Arush would leave as soon as he could in the second car. He thought he could join us by early afternoon.

Kama was stuck with me for the drive from Chennai. When he saw what I was wearing, his eyes were going to bug out. My plan was to keep him uncomfortable for the entire one-hour trip by using my dress to tease him. I'd watch his pants. Could I cause an accident? Even a tiny damp spot would be a victory. Today, the laughs would be mine for a change.

I quickly opened my handbag and pushed in my bra. It wasn't a moment too soon.

There was a knock. I turned, adjusted my position for maximum impact and said the door was open.

It worked even better than I had anticipated. Kama looked at me like a frightened animal for a few seconds before turning his head. His face was red.

"Where's your luggage?" he asked. He could barely get the words out.

"Over here behind me. Are you all right?"

He cleared his throat quickly a couple of times, looked up at me, looked quickly down at my feet, grabbed the two suitcases and ran out of the room to my laughter.

I peeked out the door. No one was in sight. I quickly made my way to the elevator. Still no one near. I hurried to the car park. It was deserted. I walked down the rows looking for Kama and his car.

As soon as I saw him bent over the boot, I began flouncing toward him and giggling. In the dark car park, it felt as if the sun was shining for me.

"Can I help?" I asked as I got close to him.

He looked up, startled, and quickly looked back at the luggage.

"Just get in. I'm almost finished."

I sat down in the Dzire's spacious front seat and left my door open for air. I looked back and saw the dickie was still open. He didn't see me.

I loosened the seat belt as I shifted around. When I finished, it didn't provide much safety, but it let me move my body whatever way I wanted. I faced forward, tucked the slack belt under my legs and waited.

In a minute, he opened the door, got in and started the car. I closed my door and looked straight ahead as he pushed off. I stayed that way until we were in heavy traffic. Then I got ready and waited.

The first time he looked in my direction as he prepared to change lanes, his head nearly hit the roof. I giggled. He tried to ignore me and look through my window, but my body in front of it didn't let him.

"Please move back a little," he asked in a voice that sounded like he was on edge.

"Sorry," I said and twisted my body so that my dress moved across it as I sat back in the seat. I heard a sharp intake of breath and giggled again.

"I wonder what the flowers will be like," I remarked after he finished his maneuver and was looking ahead again. "Do you think they will be open?"

I noticed it was getting warm in the car even though it was early. I was beginning to sweat, and my thin dress was starting to stick to me. I hadn't thought of that. Soon the colored shapes would look like body paint. This was going to be better than I had imagined.

Unfortunately, as I was thinking these thoughts, Kama snapped on the AC and a blast of cold air woke me from my reverie. No body paint. Too bad!

I continued talking about flowers and tropical plants while Kama drove silently. As I did, I changed positions so each time he looked in my direction, I gave him a different view. He tried his best not to look, but sometimes he couldn't help himself.

He turned the AC higher until I said it was getting much too cold and turned it down. I saw he was sweating, and his handsome brows were furrowed in concentration.

"The heat and the color and the smell are so sensuous," I said, speaking of the tropical wildflowers. "I like to plunge into them and feel them all over my body as if I am one with them and rapturously awaiting pollination."

He was shifting in his seat now. I snuck a look down between his legs and saw the tent. What should I do now? I made a decision and waited for him to look toward me again.

The next time he did, I quickly bent over and moved my head down by his legs to make it clear what I was looking at. Then I raised up and began laughing loudly. I wanted to shout, "Sweet revenge!" but I didn't utter a word.

I was thrown back in my seat suddenly as he swerved to the right, crossed the narrow highway we were on, pulled into a petrol station and stepped hard on the brakes. His door opened and slammed shut, and he was gone.

I moved around slowly to make sure I was all there and waited for him. Was he getting relief in the WC?

I don't think so because he wasn't long. I didn't look at his pants, but I could tell he had put a lot of water on his face. It wasn't wet, but his collar was.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Fine."

"I'm sorry for the sudden stop, but I needed the facilities."

"It's not a problem," I said as he pushed off.

We rode for a while in silence.

"Shall I turn on the radio?" I asked.

"If you wish," he said. "I was thinking about one of the seminars at SRM, but you probably wouldn't be interested."

"I don't know enough about high tech to even understand whether I'd be interested."

"This was a psychology lecture about relating to people at different levels."

"That sounds interesting," I said.

"The professor said we think of our employees, our superiors, our colleagues and even our loved ones in different ways, but in reality, we need to do many of the same things to establish meaningful relationships with any of them."

"Really! Go on!"

We were on a narrow two-lane road, and Kama had to drive slowly because of the dense vegetation. If an animal or human darted out, it would be hard to stop. A wide lorry might be around any turn.

"She said that before we could relate to anyone, we had to listen first, but not in the way we usually think of listening."

"So the professor was a woman," I said. "Interesting! Go on."

"She said we had to hear the words, but we also had to listen beyond the meaning, because everyone is looking for the same thing. They just want it in different ways."

"What do they want?" I asked.

"They want to be touched."

As Kama said this, I felt his left hand graze my right thigh. It didn't stay there. It was as if he was emphasizing what he said.

My body reacted involuntarily to his touch. It pulled back quickly. Was that his intent? Would I hear his loud laughter now?

I took a moment to recover. He was silent, as if he was waiting for me to say something. I decided to see where he was going with this. Was his touch innocent or was he setting up another humiliation? I was on the alert, and no one else was here, so I didn't have to worry about embarrassment. Kama was as smart as Arush, but in a battle of wits, I usually prevailed.

"What does that mean?" I asked. "Are you supposed to hug everyone? I know plenty of people who don't like that - women as well as men."

"That's why you listen. Each person wants to be touched, but in the right way. You need to find the way."

"You don't want to get sued either."

"You're right. She said it was tough on men today because they have to be careful. Yet, no matter what they say, most women respond to the touch of a man."

His hand was on my leg again, and this time, he didn't take it away. I should have pushed it off or moved so that it fell off, but I didn't. I faced the road and didn't turn toward him, but I looked at him by moving my eyes to the right.

He wasn't looking at me or at his hand. He was focused on the highway or pretending he was. It was a game. He was going to provoke me one way or another. Then he would laugh his laugh. That's how he was going to get me.

I decided to take him on. He wasn't foolhardy. At some point, he'd pull back and give up. I would win his little game.

"Is Miss Psychologist saying they want that intimate touch at the office?" I asked lightly, trying to ignore the warmth of his large hand that was radiating through the thin material of my dress.

"Sometimes. It can be anywhere. You have to find the right occasion by listening. You can look also, but sometimes body language and facial expressions are misleading."

"And these women that you're touching. How do you know they aren't trying to get you in trouble to make themselves some money?"

His hand moved down to my knee, past my hem. He was touching naked flesh. I felt my face getting warm.

"The psychologist said we all lie, mostly to ourselves. The woman may think she is in control, but she needs that intimate touch so badly that she forgets about scheming."

I held my breath as I felt his hand move under my dress and up my leg. It stopped, and I tried to exhale quietly before I spoke. Why did he say 'intimate?' Oh yes! I used the word first, so I had given him permission to say it. Was that a rule of this game? Would he go as far as I allowed him?

"So Miss Psycho says you can listen to her and read her mind."

"It's more like male instinct that goes back to before we were Neanderthals. The man is attuned to the woman. It's like any animal."

I took a breath before I responded.

"You mean the dog can tell when the bitch is in heat?"

As I spoke, his hand slid over and up at the same time. It was now trapped between my thighs. It seemed fiery hot, as if I were going to be branded with hand impressions on both legs. Should I clamp my legs around it to keep stop him? Before I could decide, I felt him stroking my panties with his fingers.

"You're joking," he said, "but the body secretions of the human species send out signals like other animals."

I realized he was no longer talking about Miss Psycho's lecture and that this had to stop, but the game was no longer on my mind. He knew that, too, from feeling my damp panties. I quickly glanced down and saw his arm disappearing under my dress. It looked obscene.

My face felt as hot and damp as the feeling between my legs. I tried to speak, but all I could do was gulp. I tried to will myself to push his hand away, but I couldn't. All I could do was look ahead.

He was also looking through the windscreen and driving slowly.

"Ding!"

Someone was texting me. Probably one of my friends with a selfie of her and her cousin's cute baby. I wondered what she would think if I sent her a selfie of me with Kama's hand under my dress.

"Ding! Ding!"

I reached into my purse, grabbed my phone and turned off the sound without looking at it. No interruptions! I had to focus on what was going on. He stuck a finger inside my panties. Was he out of his mind? Was I?

Suddenly, he ripped his hand away, nearly tearing my panties as he did so. I looked at him and saw his left hand reach for the wheel. His fingers looked greasy. At the same time I felt him brake.

I looked up and saw that the road had narrowed going through a village. There were carts, cars, cycles and people everywhere. Kama needed both hands to navigate.

Was that sound me panting? Yes. I looked around wildly. Had anyone seen what was going on in our car? Apparently not.

My mind was spinning, and the sweat poured from my body. I was drowning in sensuality and nothing mattered except the sensations I was feeling between my legs. That's the only way I can possibly explain the insane thing I did next.

I looked at Kama. His eyes were on the traffic. I looked out the front and side windows. Nobody was close enough to see in. Slowly I slid over toward my door, bent over and reached under my dress. Carefully, I lifted my bums and pulled down my panties, lifted my feet out of them and slid them into my purse. My body shielded what I was doing.

I slowly sat up straight again and moved closer to Kama. I stared out at the road.

In a few minutes, we were out of the crowd and back on a highway, behind a large slow-moving lorry. I heard Kama exhale.

A moment later, his right hand was creeping between my thighs again. The car swerved as his fingers discovered there were no more panties. We weren't moving fast and he quickly got control back with one hand.

He explored slowly at first. I wondered what he thought of my thick hair, but he and his brother must be similar in that regard. Arush delighted in "exploring my forest," as he called it and wouldn't stand for me to trim it.

Kama's approach was rougher. It was more like hacking his way through the jungle. His fingers moved so forcefully that a couple of times they pulled at my roots and made me wince. But mostly the effect was the same. It drove me wild.

I was looking ahead and noticed the lorry pull to the right a few times, signaling that it was safe for us to pass. Either Kama didn't notice or he ignored it because he kept driving slowly behind it.

I squirmed in my seat and felt the grease below my bums. I was gushing. When a digit entered me, I jumped. As it found my clitoris and started to rub it, I began babbling deliriously. I thought I was whispering, but I really had no idea what I was doing at that point.

Then it all crashed.

Not the car. It was still going slowly when the lorry in front of us turned off the road.

"Oh!"

As soon as he made this exclamation, Kama gently pulled his finger out and put his left hand back on the wheel.

I felt like screaming, but I managed to stop myself. I lifted myself from where I had slid down and looked around.

"We're nearly there," he said. "I saw a sign."

He was right. I snapped out of my daze and reached for my purse. I had barely finished adjusting my panties and bra when he parked the car.

"Wait here. I'll check in."

He came a few minutes later as I was brushing my damp hair back from my face. He put a key in my hand and moved so close to me that I could feel his breath on my face.

"Go to your room and freshen up. I'll finish registering and have all the luggage brought to my room. I'll bring you yours straight away."

As he said this, he stared at me. His face looked brutish. His eyes were wild. I had never seen him like this.

I thought of Miss Psycho's theories. I knew exactly what he was communicating when he said he would bring my luggage to my room.

As soon as I stepped out of the car, the heat hit me. I walked slowly as I breathed in the heavy air. It wasn't far to my room. The AC was already on but set high to save money. I adjusted it, but it would take time for the temperature in the room to drop.

I was beside myself. In a few minutes, Kama would be there. I clearly understood his intentions. He had become a junglee. Is this what attracted his beautiful girlfriends - sex with an uncivilized savage who didn't respect anyone - especially them?

His eyes had mesmerized me. I was in his thrall. My brother-in-law was about to take me against my will. How could he do that to Arush?

Rubbish! Like Miss Psycho said - or was this a part that Kama had made up? - I was lying to myself. I was justifying what my body wanted, what my body needed, what my body was screaming for. I was the sweaty slut who was about to betray my husband. I knew it, but it didn't make any difference.

I went to the bathroom to put some cold water on my face. The water was warm and not soothing.

I went to the door. I had to get out of there, but I didn't turn the handle. Instead, I took a step back, then another, then another.

I heard steps outside. The blinds were down, but they were light pastel, and I saw a silhouette through them. It was moving slowly in the heat and carrying luggage.

I stood and trembled in anticipation. I heard the luggage being put down. The door handle turned. The thought flashed through my mind that the barbarian coming for me had shed such civilized courtesies as knocking and waiting for an invitation to enter.

I stared at the door as it opened and he stepped in. The bright sun behind him made his form dark. I didn't see his face at first. When I saw it, I screamed and fainted.

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In my dream, I was in a courtroom. Nothing was happening. There was no judge, just officials exchanging papers. I was the first one there, waiting for all the others.

I heard a noise behind me and turned around. Sitting on the opposite side of the room, behind where my husband and his barrister would sit were my children.

They looked pale and hazy as they stared mournfully at me. I could see right through them. They were ghosts. I had killed them for me as surely as I had killed my marriage. I tried to get up to go to them and ask their forgiveness, but I was glued to my chair by the sticky juices flowing from between my legs, the evidence of my shame.

I twisted back and forth to free myself, to no avail.

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I woke from my nightmare and opened my eyes to see my husband's face inches from my own and his strong hands holding my shoulders. His voice was soothing.

"Lie back, darling. Relax."