The End of the World

We had been married for over seven years when I discovered my wife had a fantasy, or I guess you could have called it a strong desire. Or a fetish.

We met at a party in a small town where I had found a summer job. I was a senior at the University of Florida and was invited to work as a stable hand for the summer on a horse farm. I cannot say that I loved the work, but the money was good.

The first week I was there I was invited to a party for one of the hands who was getting married. It was a pool party at the owners house. It was a huge lovely house. I knew only a couple people there and felt a little awkward.

I was basically standing in a corner sipping a beer when I saw her. She was easily the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was wearing a little bikini suit that left nothing to the imagination. There was a crowd of guys around her all the time. I watched her for several hours.

Finilly I noticed her slip behind a hedge, so I followed. She walked to the stable area and entered a barn. I slipped around and came in the other end. She was standing at a stall looking at a mare with a young foal. I walked up behind her and I heard her giggle. I looked at the foal nursing and saw nothing funny.

"Hi! Why are you laughing?"

"Because you took so long to get here."

"How did you know I would be here."

"I have seen you watching me all afternoon. I thought maybe if I went off by myself you would follow me."

"You wanted me to follow you?"

"Yes I did. You looked like a nice guy I could just talk to, and be friends with. I hope you won't be like the rest of the guys and try to hit on me all the time."

"My name is John, John Mc Coy. What is your name?"

"I am Beverly Baxter. I am pleased to meet you John Mc Coy."

"Would you like to walk and look at the other horses?"

"That would be nice, John."

"It must be hard being so beautiful that all the guys hit on you. I have to confess that I would love to try to hit on you sometime in the future, but I just want to be near you and get to know you better."

"Do you think I am pretty?"

"Not really."

"You don't?"

"No, I don't think so, you are not just pretty, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. That includes on both the TV and movies."

She stopped and looked at me wide eyed, "Do you really mean that?"

"Yes I do. But it sounds like I am hitting on you, and I don't want you to think that."

"I do think that and I kind of like it when you do it so gently and sincerely. It makes me all tingly."

I just stared at her. She looked up at me and smiled. "You are a very handsome guy. And I think you are very sweet. Tell me all about John Mc Coy."

We walked and talked for hours. I didn't know when it happened but I found myself holding her little hand in my big rough one like it belonged there. She made no effort to pull away.

"She smiled at me and said, "We had better go get something to eat before it is all gone."

"I hope it is all gone."

"Why?"

"Because then I will ask you to go out to dinner with me some place."

"You are such a sweet boy, John. I will go with you any where you want me to. But you have to ask my father first."

"Really"

"Yes, my father, I am only seventeen. I have to ask my mother or father before I run off with a strange young man. No matter how much I like him."

It turned out her father owned the farm. We dated for almost a year before I asked her to marry me. I knew I wanted to spend my life with her. I was in the Naval ROTC and was going to receive a Commission in the Navy and go to San Diego for Seal training when I graduated in June. She said 'yes' and was my best friend and supported me during the training. She was always there for me, always had our little apartment spotless, my clothes clean and was a eager and ardent lover. She was perfect.

After four years in the Navy I got a job as a pilot for a large corporation. It was interesting work but it kept me away from home too much and hated being away from Beverly. Especially because she was pregnant with our second child. Her father offered me a job as assistant farm manager. We both loved being back in Florida. I liked the job very much and was damned good at it. After three years there the manager retired and I was named acting Manager. They hired a assistant to help me and haven't hired a new manager. They just gave me a big raise, so I guess I am doing a good job for them. Hell, I know I am!

Then Beverly and I went to a party at a neighboring farm. We knew the couple who ran the farm very well. There was a large group of people there. Bev and I mixed and greeted people we knew. Then I didn't see her. I looked around and finally spotted her dancing with a very large and handsome black man. They were talking and laughing as they gracefully moved about the dance floor. Someone asked me a question about our new hay harvester and bailer. Then Beverly was beside me clinging to my arm. I grinned down at her and leaned down and whispered in her ear that she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She asked me to dance with her and we went to the dance floor. I am not a good dancer, I seem to have two left feet and in spite of years of Beverly's teaching I am still rather clumsy. We danced several dances and were leaving the floor when the large black man stopped us and introduced himself as Derek Patterson. We shook hands and he asked if he could dance with Beverly. I looked at her and she nodded so I told him yes. I went and got us two fresh drinks and returned to the dance floor. I didn't see them. I looked around the room and didn't see either of them. I walked to the French doors to the patio and looked out. I saw a couple dancing very close together. Her head was tilted back and they appeared to be kissing. Then I recognized Beverly's dress. It was them. About that time they turned and walked toward the door. He smiled as they approached and said, "You have a very beautiful wife. Thank you for letting me borrow her." Then he turned and kissed Bev on the cheek and walked away.

She watched him go then said she had to powder her nose and left me standing there holding two drinks.

I followed her and waited for her to come out. She looked a little flushed when she came out and I asked if she were alright. She said she was fine, I asked if she wanted to go home. She said we had to say our good nights and she would be ready. I walked to our hosts and made our excuses and turned to find Bev gone. I saw her talking to Derek. I walked up to her and took her firmly by her arm and said, "Time to go Dear." She looked at me and then at Derek and then headed for the door. I heard his strong laugh behind us.

I was royally pissed when we got to the car. She knew it. Nothing like this had ever happened before, I couldn't believe the way she had acted. I didn't say a word all the way home. I took the baby sitter home and Beverly was in her gown when I got home. I looked at her and went to her dressing area and opened her clothes hamper. I saw her panties inside. I picked them up as she watched. They were soaking wet. I held them to my nose. They smelled of her arousal. I dropped them back and looked at her. I was stunned, I could think of nothing to say. I walked from the room as tears ran down my face. I went to the bar and fixed myself stiff drink. I threw it down and fixed another. I felt her hand on my arm. "Fix me one too." I turned and looked at her. She said, "Why are you still crying?"

"The perfect world I lived in just came to an end."

"What do you mean. Why would you say that?"

"I can no longer trust you. I know if I had not been there tonight you would have fucked Derek. Right?"

"What?"

"I have never turned you on like he did. He will call you. You will probably go to him.. I won't take you back. I love you more than life it's self. You don't love me or your children enough to turn him down. I saw you kiss him tonight after you knew him ten minutes. Black males run one thousand times higher rates of STD's than monogamous white males. Just kissing puts your kids and me at risk. I can't take that chance with the kids. If you fuck him, well, the risk quadruples. I will have some papers for you to look at in the morning."

"I haven't done anything!"

"You didn't kiss him?"

"Well, yes a short kiss. It didn't mean anything."

"I guess it didn't mean anything to you. It meant something to me. It meant my heart was broken, trampled on, spit on, while he laughed at me. Because he knows he has you. And I never will again."

"You believe that don't you?"

"Yes. That is why my heart is broken."

"Oh! John, My Dearest husband I pledged my life and my body and soul to you when we were wed. I have never broken that vow and never intend to break it. I love you and I love our children."

"Beverly, I love you too. Put yourself in my position. What would you have done if you saw me get a huge erection while I danced with another woman and then saw me kiss her?"

"I don't know. I would probably would have scratched her eyes out."

Tears ran from her eyes, "John, I never meant to hurt you, never ever would I want to do that."

"Then why aren't you being candid with me, why can't you tell me exactly what happened. If you can't do that you are hurting me deliberately."

"John, nothing happened except a little kiss."

"That is why I will never trust you again." I turned and walked away from her. She ran after me, begging me to stop and listen to her.

I stopped and turned to her. "Bev, this is not getting us anywhere. I know you don't get so excited you cum in your panties from only a short kiss. Even so why kiss him at all? I think we both have had too much to drink tonight. I have to go to work early in the morning. We will talk as soon as I can get away. You need to think long and very hard about what you want from life. You need to get an appointment for a test for STDs as soon as possible. I want you to not touch or kiss the girls until you get a clean bill of health from the doctor. Will you promise me that?"

"What is a STD."

"A Sexually Transmitted Disease."

"What?"

"You heard me. Have your sister take them until you are cleared."

"But?"

"Just do it." I slept in the spare bed room. I missed her being beside me terribly.

The next morning I was up at four and went in my home office and unlocked the security unit we had installed several years before when we thought the baby sitter was abusing the girls. I turned the sound activated video recorders and the telephone taps on. I went to the farm and had my work done by ten. I waited as my fax machine spit out a group of papers from my attorney. I read them and sorted them and put them in separate folders. I got in my truck and went to visit an old friend and college room mate, Freddy Hao. A damned fine friend and a police detective. I told him what was going on. He had me wait for about half an hour. He handed me a dossier on Derek Patterson. He had a long rap sheet. Basically he was a pimp specializing in white upper class whores for the black trade. There was a very high demand for good looking high class white hookers for the blacks. Most were seduced by him then recruited as whores after they had their pictures made having sex with multiple black men or were hooked on drugs. He was a real bad dude, also smart enough that no one was able to get him for a thing. He had releases and contracts signed by all the women saying they agreed voluntarily to whore for him.

I took the information and went home. Beverly was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee. She looked as if she had been crying. I told her I would be right back. I slipped in the office and played the video tapes back. They had not been activated by any one but Beverly who was alone. I played the phone taps back. Derek called and asked Beverly to meet him tomorrow and have a couple of drinks. She said she would not meet him anywhere, ever. He laughed, "Sure you will Sweetheart. Think about what you felt last night. Think about how it would feel in your little tight white pussy. Think about it." She hung up with out answering." I had to sit and calm down for a bit.

I walked back in the kitchen and fixed myself a cup of coffee. I sat across from her. "Did Derek call today?"

She looked down and softly said, "Yes he did." God, I was glad to hear her say that.

"What did he want?"

"He wanted me to meet him."

"Before you tell me your answer I want you to read something." I handed her a manila envelope with some papers in it. It was a divorce agreement in which she agreed to give me full and complete custody of the two girls. She could have visitation rights as followed, The first month she could see them once a week. The second month she could see them every other week. Then for the next four months she could see them monthly. After that she could see them once every six months for a year. That would be her last visit with them. She would receive half the proceeds of the sale of the house when ever it was sold. She could keep her car but had to take over the insurance.

The second envelope contained a divorce agreement in which I was granted total and complete custody of the girls. She received no visitation rights or anything else.

She read the two sets of papers. "I don't exactly understand."

"The first set is if you decide to see Derek again and file for divorce yourself. The second is for if I find you have seen him and not filed the other papers."

"I will never see the girls again?"

"I can't chance that. The risk is too high for them."

"What if I never see him again?"

"Then we have a lot of work to do rebuilding a marriage in which trust and confidence have been destroyed."

"Just one kiss did all that?"

"That and the fact that you are unwilling to admit that anything other than a quick kiss happened. We both know better."

"John, I am so ashamed of myself. I was so ashamed I couldn't admit it to even myself. I acted like a cheap slut. He was so handsome and charming. He kept telling me how beautiful I was. How sexy I was. How much he wanted to make love to me. He made me feel desirable and pretty again. He kept giving me drinks and I felt really good. Then the bubble burst and I saw the hurt in your eyes. I couldn't face what I had done to you. God! I hate myself! You have always been so faithful and true. I love you so much. I will die with out you. You are my life. I have thought of nothing else all day. I will do anything you say. I want you, you are my man. I want no other, ever."

I reached out and took her hand. Tears ran from my eyes. "I love you too, little girl, I always have and always will. But as much as I want to, I am afraid to even kiss you. Did you make an appointment for a blood test?"

"Yes I did. Tomorrow morning. Will you take me?"

"Yes. Just so you know I was not completely off base in my assessment of Derek I want you to read his rap sheet. I handed her the papers I had gotten from Freddy Hao. She read them and blanched pale white. She looked up at me. "What a fool I was, thank god I had you looking after me. I hope I can win your trust and love again."

"Listen girl, I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you and that love grew stronger every day, until last night. My love for you may have blinded me so that I didn't see that you were not being sexually fulfilled. I didn't know you need something more than I was giving you. I guess I am at fault for being blind to your needs. You have to tell your stupid husband what you want or need. If I can't provide it for you I will find someone who can help us. I guess I need help anyway you look at it."

When I was quiet, Beverly was softly sobbing. She put her hands over her lovely face and cried. It broke my heart to see her suffer so. I pulled her hands away and kissed her eyes and nose and held her tightly and whispered that I truly loved her.

She looked up at me, "John, I have loved you more and more each day, ever since I met you, too! You have always been a perfect husband and lover. You give me massive orgasms whenever we make love. I know of nothing I would want to change. Sometimes I think we are both in a little bit of a rut in our loving, but it is such a lovely rut I would hesitate to change it. I think we each get tired and put the other off once in a while, not very often though. I honestly do not know why I reacted to that man the way I did. Evidently I am not the only woman he has effected that way. That doesn't excuse me at all but I guess he is good at seducing white women."

"I don't think it could be the size of his penis, Lord knows mine is big enough, at least I thought it was. Is his bigger?" Is that what it was?"

"I don't have any idea of how big he is. I only felt it pressing against me when we danced. It did feel big, but I am used to that, I didn't even think about it. You are absolutely perfect for me. There is no way I could handle one speck larger than you. Sometimes I hear the other wives talk about how well their husbands are endowed. They brag about having an eight incher. I never say a word because I know you are about half again that long. Yours is the only one I have ever seen. I have the best, I don't need to see another. I want to know what you mean when you say you will get us help?"

"I mean that there are Doctors and shrinks who specialize in sexual matters. Sexual therapists too. They teach people to have better sex lives. To control harmful or unwise urges or fantasies, and how to make love to your partner in a more fulfilling way. I read an article about them in the paper a couple of months ago. If nothing else works I will find you a sex partner who will satisfy you."

"Why is that different from cheating?"

"Because I will never let it happen if I am not there in the room watching. No love talk allowed. Just sex. Then it will be my turn with a female partner while you watch. Same rules. We each approve or it doesn't happen."

"You would do that for me?"

"I want you happy, girl. I don't want to lose you."

"And you want a divorce if I see Derek again?"

"These people are not pimps or diseased. If you don't see the difference I don't think we need to talk any further. Go see him, just sign the papers before you go."

Beverly giggled, "No way big guy, you don't get rid of me that easy. I will play by what ever rules you decide upon because I know it will be the right thing to do, and the best thing for both of us."

I looked at this girl I loved with all my heart and still felt uneasy about her. I had never heard the conviction or honesty in her voice I needed to hear. Something was missing. I didn't know what. I sighed and turned and walked to the window and looked out seeing nothing. I felt tears coursing down my cheeks. I wanted so much to believe in her, but it just didn't feel right. I felt her grab me and turn me around. She looked in my eyes, "You still don't trust me do you?"

"I want to, but you are right, I do not trust you. Should I?"

She sobbed, "No, I need help, I don't know why I have such a strong attraction to that animal, but I do. Please help me. I do love you very, very much. But if he called right now I might go. God, I need help. Please don't give up on me. I need you."

I looked at her and walked to the phone. I dialed a number. I said, "Lieutenant Hao, Please."

He came on the line. "Freddy, this is John Mc Coy, I need the name of the shrink you were telling me about the other day." I wrote the name and number on a piece of paper. I thanked him and hung up. I dialed the number and requested an appointment with the doctor as soon as possible for Bev and myself.

Two days later we sat in a special room at the doctors office. Beverly was hooked up to some sort of monitoring machine that looked similar to a lie detector. Then the nurse dimmed the lights a bit and put a DVD in a player. The large screen showed a series of people who were completely nude. There were men and boys and women and girls of all ages. The were of all races and of various mixed races. The men and boys were shown with soft penises and with erections of various stages. The pictures showed the person for about twenty seconds and were in motion. They were in a very random order with races and sexes in no discernable order.