It was a month before our wedding and my fiancé Sylvia and I were talking about an issue that was coming to dominate our relationship.
We had woken after a night of sexual activity that had been more violent and intense than either of us had anticipated. I was still sore and excited. Sylvia appeared to be as excited but more comfortable than I was. And certainly not in any pain.
She sat on the sofa stroking my hair as I lay with my head on her lap feeling vulnerable and perhaps a little needy, seeking her assurance:
"So you really don't mind that I need you to take the lead; be assertive and dominant?
And you still love me?"
She smiled down at me and kissed my upturned face.
"Of course I don't mind my love. And of course I still love you. More than ever."
I squirmed submissively and continued: "So you didn't really mean all those cruel things you said last night about me being a submissive sissy, not being a real man and my dick being little and useless?"
She laughed and kissed me again:
"Steady on cowboy. I seem to recall it turned you on when I said that last night Dave. Anyway, I can't say I didn't mean what I said when we both know it's all true."
She emphasised her point by reaching down between my legs and squeezing my little willy through the silk night dress I was wearing.
I turned on my back. my head between her strong wide thighs to look up at her face. She beamed down at me across her vast bosom and her hand reached down and stroked my small semi erect penis.
I was still looking for her reassurance:
"But you don't mind? You're happy marrying a submissive man. You'll be happy being the dominant wife when we're married?"
Sylvia smiled at me with excitement:
"Oh yes. It's such a change from what I'm used to. I love it. It's brought out a whole aspect of my personality that I hardly suspected was there. I never dreamed I could be so cruel and that being cruel would be so satisfying. It's such a relief. I can be wicked, angry, mean, impatient, contemptuous, nasty and cruel and I don't have to feel guilty about it!"
As she enthused she pushed my head off her lap and sat up:
"I feel like I've been suppressing a big part of the real me all my life and now I can let it out."
She looked at me with a curious mixture of love and arrogance:
"Now I have someone to let it all out on. You. Thank you darling. I'm so glad I met you. So happy to become your wife. You've unleashed the woman I was destined to be. I love you. I get so excited that I completely lose it sometimes. I hope you don't mind - are you still very sore from last night?" She giggled and slapped my bottom just where it was particularly tender.
I winced. "Ow. Yes. Very sore but I don't mind. So didn't you do anything like that with any other men, before me?"
"God no! Never. Before I met you I've only ever been with alpha male types - you know, like Toby - the complete opposite of you: much more assertive than you, more confident than you and a lot bigger than you."
My face went red at that comment because she laughed and gave my little dick a hard slap:
"No David. Naughty boy. Not just their cocks. I mean bigger everywhere...but yeah, bigger there as well" She giggled sweetly and squeezed my dick.
"Anyway, the thing is all my previous lovers have been very dominant and made me take a submissive role with them."
"But you prefer this?"
"I wouldn't say 'prefer'. Don't get me wrong I love being able to dominate you, punish you and make you do whatever I tell you and all of that. But I do miss being properly fucked by a real man. I probably need both really. Oh my god. Does that make me sound awful?"
I felt conflicting waves of jealousy, shame and arousal which made my heart beat quicker and my little dick stiffen.
"No. It doesn't sound awful darling. You need both and you deserve both. I'm just sorry I can't do both. I wish I knew the answer."
This apparent conundrum bedevilled our relationship and appeared insoluble until Sylvia came up with the solution.
I was tempted to say that it might explain why she was still sleeping with her ex-boyfriend: Toby.
But I didn't. I couldn't.
She didn't know that I knew. And I intended to keep it that way. For two reasons:
Firstly, our wedding was only four weeks away and I didn't want to have a row that might cause her to call it off.
The other, and probably the most pressing reason, if I'm honest, was that since I'd caught her and Toby fucking I had been in a state of intense sexual arousal: an intoxicating mix of humiliation, submissiveness and erotic jealousy and I didn't want that to stop. Ever
*
I don't know how long they'd been at it but it was a month earlier that I'd caught them.