Once again, the time had come for our annual summer block party. I dreaded this event each year. I'm not a snob or antisocial or anything like that. I just don't like making small talk with my neighbors, especially since I don't talk to them about anything the rest of the year. However, the block party is a nice event for the kids, and it is a perfectly pleasant event for the neighborhood.
Despite my attitude, my wife really enjoys it every year. Not that she fraternizes with our neighbors any more than I do; in fact, she is normally less personable and far more shy than I. Many of the neighbors find her almost snobby. She is extremely good looking, so maybe that is why her shyness is often confused for aloofness.
Despite what the neighbors think, she always says that she likes the vibe, and this year, we have a puppy to show off to the block. Maybe that will make the day more tolerable.
The day unfolded like it normally does: awkward waves and small talk about the weather or how nice the party is, frequent trips inside to hide for a bit, hanging out mainly on our front lawn away from others. At one point, though, the puppy wanted to explore more. My wife took her while I sat on my front porch. Our house is located in the middle of the block, so I can see pretty much everyone's front lawn.
My wife had been gone for about 15 minutes, but when I located her across the street, she was only a few doors down. By now, she should've been down the block and back, even if the dog stopped to say hello to every neighbor at the party. She was standing on a neighbor's lawn while my puppy laid in the grass and my wife chatted.
I didn't think much of it, and eventually, she and the dog walked back over.
"What took you so long?" I asked.
"Our neighbor's family is visiting, and their son-in-law was telling me about his dogs," she replied.
Day turned into night as the sun set. A band was playing live music in the middle of the street at one end of our block. We listened for a bit and were about to go in for the night when a tall, slim, fit, dark-haired guy walked onto our lawn.
"Hey, guys," he directed towards us both, but he then turned towards my wife and said, "I talked to you earlier about my dogs. I wanted to show you pics."
My wife got off her chair and looked at his phone. He offered it to her and told her to scroll through. From where I sat, I could see her flipping through and politely expressing how cute. But then she froze.
Her face was pure shock, but she didn't move. She stared for what seemed like an eternity, and I wasn't sure why. The guy was staring off into space while my wife scrolled until he also noticed that she was no longer flipping through the pictures.
"Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize..." he stammered as he reached for the phone. As he reached, he knocked the phone out of my wife's hands. It fell, so he grabbed it and walked quickly away, seemingly embarrassed.
In somewhat of a daze, my wife walked back and sat down in the chair next to me. Her silence was deafening.
"What?" I asked.
Without looking at me, she giggled and said, "It was a dick pic."
"Oh," I replied, "he must have been really embarrassed. Guess it wasn't impressive." I chuckled.
But my wife didn't. "No. It was enormous. I wouldn't have thought it real except for his reaction."
Then, we sat together, in shock, neither knowing what to say next. For me, the music of the block party had faded into nothingness. I didn't even see the people around me on the block. It would have been funny if my wife had laughed. It would have been a thing of the past had she shrugged it off. But her stunned silence kept me quiet.
After an indeterminate amount of time, my wife got up without saying a word and walked to my steps, and I walked in the door behind her and the dog. As she went into the kitchen, I watched her pour and gulp down a large glass of wine. Several times, words crept up my throat but just wouldn't come out of my mouth. Finally, I thought of something clever to say, but I never got the chance to say it.
The doorbell rang.
I looked at my wife, who was looking down at the counter. She wasn't moving. So I walked to the door.
I opened it and saw my neighbor's son-in-law standing on my front porch. I didn't know if I should be angry with him, laugh at him, or what, but before I could react, I heard my wife behind me.
"Let him in," she said.