The Belle

Mallika felt uncomfortable sitting in the room all by herself. By now she knew every inch of the four walls surrounding her…where the paint had peeled off, where there was a scribble, where a screw had been hammered in. It was not exactly boredom but rather a strange numbness that occupied her. For the last one hour she had fought against it but slowly and slowly it was overcoming her. Why was she here? What did she expect from this place? She knew not. Only this much she knew…whenever she thought of this place she felt paralyzed. Something was drawing her here…something over which she had lost control with each passing day. Whenever she thought of it she had a violent urge to give in. Till yesterday she had resisted. But today the urge knew no bounds. It had so completely and hopelessly taken over that she knew there was no way she could fight it. Right from the morning she had been in a trance.

She had prepared breakfast for her husband, Rohit and seen him off for office all the time knowing at the back of her mind that there was no way she could escape the urge today. Slowly but steadily she had been drawn into the quicksand.

"Are you through with your thesis?" Rohit had enquired. She hadn't even dared to turn around to look at him.

"Will take me a month or so more." How easily she lied. But what could she do anyway? Will Rohit ever understand?

"I thought you are almost through." Rohit was intrigued. "I am not too comfortable with the idea of you going there everyday. Had I known before that it will take this long I would have requested Uncle Mitra to talk to your professor and get the topic changed." He sounded disturbed.

"Oh God! Did Rohit suspect her?" Till yesterday she would have told him the truth and asked him to help her out. But today was different…there was no way, she had to protect the urge.

She turned around facing him.

"That's not being fair to me, Rohit. You know how important the thesis is for me. Uncle Mitra knows

Madame

too well and believe me neither she nor any of the girls had ever tried to be funny with me. And then Amrik is there too. I never told you how possessive he is about his

memsahib

. For the first couple of days he would never leave me alone…sitting with me all the time. But then the girls weren't comfortable talking in front of him. So I asked him to wait for me in the car. It required a lot of effort to convince him." At least, this part wasn't a lie.

After Rohit had left she had wept. How could she forget the love they shared and lie to him. Rohit always revered her. Even after five years of marriage he always went out of the way to make sure that she was happy, both mentally and physically. Even the physical bit…she had no grounds to complain. Rohit was a good lover and would leave no opportunity to make love to her.

Only day before yesterday, when they were getting ready for one of his office parties he had pulled her to him.

"I have to make love to you. I can't help it whenever you put on this dress."

She was wearing a red dress with a plunging neckline and a side slit reaching upto her

mid-thigh

"Oh Rohit, we just don't have time." As always he paid little heed to her excuse knowing that she was pretending hard-to-get.

The memories filled her with a strange sadness. She felt happy remembering those incidents. It was as if she existed in both worlds. The first world was her life with Rohit…sensitive, enjoyable and fulfilling. The second one was the world of obscene, naked desire…she had seen in the eyes of customers watching the parading girls. Whenever she remembered those faces she felt that violent urge to submit to the uninhibited display of raw carnal desire.

When she had first gone to the bordelo to work on her thesis "Economic depravity and social malady", she was a member of a world where lust was disguised behind suave looks and articulate behaviour. She had grown up in that world. The second one was more natural…men displaying their true feelings and intentions. Here education, upbringing, status and marriage …nothing mattered. It was only the animal in man that ruled. With each passing day, she sank deeper and deeper into the cobweb of her second world and the urge of submission grew stronger and stronger.

Today, after Rohit had left, she got out of her clothes and stood in front of the mirror inspecting herself. Who was willing to pay such an amount for an hour with her? Or was

Madame

trying to draw her into this with hefty promises. But then what did she care? She didn't need the money. Of course, the money was important since it would always remind her that for the agreed time he owned her…he could have her the way he wanted. It was this submission that excited her and there was no way she could deny the urge. At the end of the day she will accept the money so earned. It wouldn't matter to her whether it was in thousands or just one hundred so long as there was something. She wouldn't be interested in men like Rohit. She had been used to suave looks and articulate behaviour all her life. It's that look of unbridled lust that paralyzed her with excitement…she wanted men who will neither care for her education, upbringing and social status nor for her preferences, likes and dislikes but treat her only as an object to satisfy their lust. She had seen those stares in the bordelo as well as out in the street. They were from the eyes of men whom she would not otherwise consider to be socially at par. Ordinary people working hard to make a living…the

paanwala

at the street corner, the truck driver, the rickshaw puller. They were the sort who fuelled her hideous excitement.

She looked at the mirror again. She was in perfect shape. Small yet perfectly conical breasts, flat stomach and long legs…skin flawless except for the dark triangle of hair highlighting her womanhood. Though she was tall at five-six, she decided to put on her high-heeled pumps. High heels always accentuated the aura of sexuality.

The sound of the door opening brought her back to her senses. It was

Madame

.

"I thought you were through yesterday." She was chewing

paan

.

Again she was feeling numb and paralyzed with excitement. She wanted to talk but words failed her. She just stood there staring at the older woman. But her eyes said it all.

"So you took the decision at last." She smiled. "Your decision makes me happy. I wish you will enjoy the time you will spend here."

"But there's something I need to tell you." She found her voice at last.

"Go ahead."

"Look I'm not doing this for the sake of money. The amount that I will receive from each client is immaterial so long as they are paying something. I will not bother with how much you pay me at the end of the day but at the same time the services won't be free. Okay, let's put it straight. I should not be made available to your rich clients only but to anybody who is willing to pay even fifty for an hour." Mallika halted seeing the shock on the older woman's face.

"Do you really mean what you're saying?" She asked.

"Yes. I can be here only so long as things are done that way. Otherwise, there's no reason for me to be here."

"Ummm! I don't understand why you are inviting trouble for yourselves? If you talk to the girls here they will tell you. Well-to-do customers behave themselves. The rest are like animals. They have no respect for women. At times they become violent and start physically abusing the girls. Then there are times when two or three of them would share the same girl…"

"Stop it." Mallika cried. She just couldn't take it anymore. Eyes closed she was shaking with excitement of making herself available to them.

"Beti, aren't you feeling well?" Concern was evident in the older woman's voice.

"I don't care." She whispered. "I am available to them."

The die has been cast, the move has been made. Now, there's no going back. She felt hot with excitement.

"Follow me."

Madame

walked out.

Mallika looked around the room. There was a door and a window but both were closed. The room was barely furnished with a double-bed pushed up against the wall and a dressing table. Products of crude workmanship, they looked cheap.

"This will be you room. I will send your customers up here. Over there you have a bathroom."

Madame

was pointing at the closed door. Not knowing what to expect, Mallika went in through the door. Immediately, she frooze in her tracks. All that the bathroom had was an Indian-styled toilet, a tap with a bucket under it and a clothes rail. It was clean though.

"Let me give you a few tips." The older woman continued. "We don't allow our customers to have unprotected sex with the girls. If anybody tries to force you into that raise a hue and cry and we will get to hear it."

"I will." She replied curtly.

"If you need help, there's a bell over here which you can ring. By the way, your first customer expects you to be naked when he comes for you."

Without hesitation Mallika reached for her

kameez

.

Mallika looked at her watch. That was all she wore. It was almost half an hour since Madame had left and she sat on the bed awaiting her first customer.

The knock at the door brought her back to her senses. She stood up beside the bed, the excitement of submission flooding her again. As the door slowly started opening she straightened herself…

tall, proud and naked.

Seeing him, her eyes widened in surprise, her hands flew to her mouth.

"My God! Uncle Mitra?"

He slammed the door shut behind him and hugged her.

"Uncle, please! This will devastate both of us."

"Shut up." He interjected dragging her to the bed…

After an hour he left her soiled and unhappy. She didn't want men like him. He had been no different from Rohit…treating her as if she was fragile. She wanted them to be different. As she sat up on the bed, the door flew open again…and she was face to face with the animal. He was short, unshaven and wore a shirt and a

lungi

. She watched in fascination as he bolted the door and turned. The beast in her started stirring again. The wolf has come calling and there was no way she could deny him. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his coarse hands on her body with a hint of smile on her face. Now she had to mate with the animal.