I, Simon Kent (obviously not my real name), can't tell you details without violating my proffer with Air Force JAG Corps, which would land me in the USDB at Fort Leavenworth for at least twenty years, but I "resigned" from the Air Force because of a "Target Acquired" incident that the few people who knew about it said could have started WWIII if we didn't get lucky. Fortunately my "resignation" allowed me to keep my military benefits so I went to graduate school on the military's dime at a well-known prestigious Midwestern University in the U. S. after getting out of the service.
Even before I was a military pilot I had a "Target Acquired" mentality which worked both for and against me when I was growing up. It worked for me when I went to tackle running backs, tight ends, and wide receivers from my outside linebacker position in High School including helping me get into "The Zoo" (the US Air Force Academy for those of you not in the know) where I continued to play outside linebacker. My "Target Acquired" mentality worked against me when I became obsessed with some wild-ass scheme or some unattainable female which would eventually get me into big trouble.
When I started graduate school I was twenty eight years old, although I probably looked a little younger. Unfortunately, I had not learned my lesson from the "Target Acquired" incident that got me drummed out of the Air Force (even though I technically "resigned").
I thought that I was doing well in my first semester of my MBA program; at least through midterms I had two As and a B, giving me a GPA of 3.67 on the MBA grading scale, just above the all-student average of 3.60. Then as I was walking on campus one night -- the campus was contiguous with the undergraduate campus for the University -- I saw two guys harassing a girl. They were big dudes but one of my problems -- in addition to my "Target Acquired" personality -- is that I think that I skipped the "fear gene" when they were passed out when I was born. Maybe that's why I became a fighter pilot.
In any event, the two dudes, who seemed like they were drunk, did not like my intervention and one of them swung at me. I then knew that he was drunk because his swing was more of a flail and I blocked most of it so that only a glancing blow landed on my head. The blow-by-blow is not necessary; just let me summarize it. One dude ended up with a concussion, the other a broken arm. I never would have been able to beat both of them if they weren't drunk, but since they were I prevailed without sustaining too much damage.
When I looked around for the damsel in distress she was gone. Campus security arrived within seconds of me breaking the second dude's arm, however, and arrested me despite my protests. In turns out that the two guys were starters on the football team and campus security particularly looked out for athletes, so I got arrested and they got sent to the local Hospital Emergency Room.
The next morning I bailed out of the municipal jail where the campus cops brought me, filed a complaint with the campus police, and hired an attorney. I don't want to relive the various injustices that I suffered over the next month so I'll just highlight them.
--John Werner, The Dean of Students of the MBA program, booted me out of it;
--A negative story appeared about me in the school newspaper;
--I was called a liar, thug and criminal by the head football coach and the two real thugs that I had immobilized; and
--My tuition was not refunded meaning that if I got into another school I'd end up paying some tuition myself because without a refund I couldn't get through the entire MBA program with government dollars.
Things did get better, however. The students who ran the school radio station, particularly two senior guys and a junior girl, did not like the preferential treatment that football players got (just like I got when I played football at The Zoo) so they interviewed me. When I told my story I begged the woman who had been harassed to come forward to support me, and asked if anyone had video footage of the encounter. They must have replayed my interview a dozen times in the next few days and it worked. Not only did the woman come forward but the manager of a local residence hall came forward with an excellent video (no sound), and a random student came forward with a video with sound that didn't cover the entire encounter but was clear enough to make it known that the woman did not like what was being done to her.
You would think that with that Dean Werner would have let me back into school right away and made any accommodation possible to catch me up to my classmates. Instead he was a complete prick about it. He apparently had some problem with people who had been in the military and made it be known that I should have just called campus security and that I didn't have the character that he wanted in their MBA program.
The criminal attorney I had hired I no longer needed because all charges were dropped, but she was incensed at how I had been treated and introduced me to one of the top civil litigators in her firm named Captain Hurst (that isn't his rank, but his name), Captain Hurst just happened to be an ex-Navy fighter pilot. Pro bono Hurst sued the University and Dean Werner individually, and on a contingency fee basis he sued the head football coach and both of the players I had dealt with.
Apparently Captain Hurst was a well-known bad ass in the area because within four months after the suits were filed they were settled completely in my favor. I was reinstated into the MBA program (although obviously I would have to start over at the beginning of the next year since I had missed the second half of the first semester and enough of the second so that it wouldn't be prudent to try and start during it), not only was my tuition refunded (which I had to pay back to the government) but I was given a full scholarship for the entirety of the MBA program and reimbursed for my housing during my "wasted" year. After Captain Hurst's cut I got $40,000 from the football coach and players and a public apology. The players were also suspended from the team for one season by the Student Court for harassing the woman who I intervened on behalf of and for lying to the Campus Police.
Dean Werner did not himself apologize -- even though the Chancellor of the University did -- and I could tell from his attitude that he would do anything he could in the future to screw me if he got the chance.
**********
Despite the angst that it caused me the situation turned out OK. However, I didn't feel that I had gotten enough payback against Dean Werner. I used my time off of school while the litigation was pending to work out, prepare for my classes when I would be reinstated, start a small (very small) business that I hired five undergraduates to run and work at, and to acquire my next target.
I decided that given my "Target Acquired" personality that the way to get revenge against Dean Werner was to fuck his wife. I came to that conclusion only because being out of school and not working full time I had many hours to devote to investigating possible revenge scenarios, and that is the one that most appealed to me.
My thorough investigation determined that Susan Werner, the Dean's wife, was thirty three years old (ten years younger than he was) and that both he and she had an earlier marriage to others that ended in divorce. Susan was not drop dead gorgeous. However, she was sultry as hell and had a major set of headlights. Although not a lush she was also known to have a drinking problem according to the local PI that I hired (I went all out in my investigation once the target was acquired). She apparently had a favorite bar ("The Sanctuary") that she went to when the Dean was entertaining donors or corporate bigwigs, or when he went out of town. The PI also told me where and usually when she went food shopping and where she worked part-time (on the board of the University's health center since Susan had been a registered nurse).
With my free time waiting for the litigation to be settled and to start my MBA program again, I honed in on the target in a subtle manner.
My first interaction with Susan was at the local supermarket, which had one of the store names that Kroger operates under. She was in the produce aisle knocking on honeydew melons to find a ripe one. In my subtle surveillance (stalking?) I had seen her do this once before so I was ready for her. Nonchalantly I walked up to the display and picked up a melon myself. When I saw her knock on about the third melon I chuckled and said "That's not the way to determine if a honeydew is ripe."
"I beg your pardon," she replied, in a humorous not snarky tone.
"I humbly consider myself an expert on honeydew melons and I have two things to go on that never fail me," I smiled.
"Please enlighten me oh wise one," she chuckled.
"When ripe, the color of the rind is a creamy yellow and is smooth and waxy. If you press on the bottom -- the opposite end from where it's attached to the vine," I said while demonstrating on one I had picked out of the bin, "it should feel slightly soft or at least a little springy. Just like this one," I smiled.
