Discovering that I enjoyed sex with Paul had me in a quandary. I was totally fine having sex with him for the past week, but I was feeling guilty too. Not because of what I had been doing with Paul, but that I did it without my wife's knowledge. I had never cheated on Marge and I had never intended to either. In my mind there was no justifying what I had done. Having sex with anyone other than my wife without her permission was clearly cheating.
Paul and I had completed the job we were sent to do in minimum time. We got up early Saturday morning intending to get on the road for home right away. That didn't happen. The desire to have sex one more time won out and we ended up leaving the hotel around nine o'clock instead of seven. The day turned out to be sunny and cool, perfect for traveling the hours long trip home.
The miles rolled by without my noticing. I was thankful that Paul had volunteered to drive because my mind was in turmoil debating how to handle the situation I had gotten myself into. Should I tell her. Should I not. Paul must have known what was going on in my head because he never pressed me for conversation and we spent most of the trip in silence. The only respite I had from my contemplation was when we stopped for lunch.
My dilemma got no better the closer we got to home. Sure, it was just sex with Paul and I could tell myself that I hadn't been running around trying to score a piece of ass from another woman. That just didn't ring true though. Even though I had no intentions to cheat last Sunday night in the hotel lounge when I had been dancing with several women, the hard-on I was sporting while dancing with our waitress didn't appear on it's own. I had been flirting with her from the time she seated us. Why had I done that?
Thinking back to that first night I knew that the sexual arousal I experienced in the hotel lounge was a big factor why I had not resisted when Paul made his advances. But being honest with myself, I couldn't blame my choice on Paul ambushing me with that little show either. Though I had to admit that I got very aroused watching him masturbate his awesome cock, that was no excuse for cheating on my wife.
I had had a choice too. My choice had been to have sex with Paul and I knew it was cheating. I thought about it for all the hours and miles of our trip home. Even as I lay prone on the truck seat with my head in Paul's lap sucking his cock, I knew I was cheating on Marge. I just couldn't help myself.
Paul drove to his place and we said our good byes. I told him I would see him at work on Monday and headed home. When I got there I still didn't know what to do. Or rather I did know but was afraid of what Marge's response would be. It was quite the situation I found myself in.
I greeted Marge enthusiastically and held her tight. We kissed passionately. When she responded by rotating her hips against me I squeezed her ass cheeks. Our hands were all over each other from that point. It was obvious that Marge wanted to have sex. I was very turned on by the prospect of sex with her too. It had been weeks since we had been sexually intimate and we both seemed primed for it.
A week apart was turning out to be a good thing on more than one level, but I couldn't bring myself to follow through. I felt it would be unfair to her. My guilt was unrelenting. I needed to fess up and be completely honest about what I had done. I needed to give her the chance to decide to forgive me or not. Even though I feared I was passing up the last opportunity I would ever have for sex with my loving wife I couldn't take advantage of her passions.
I gently ended our groping using the excuse that I was starving and was ready for a home cooked meal. Marge seemed disappointed, but agreed. Stipulating as we parted that sex was on the menu for dessert. As I helped her with preparing dinner I told her all about the airport job. But of course, I left out my night time activities with Paul.
After supper I was sitting on the couch in our Great room nursing an adult beverage and thinking deeply about how this was all going to play out. As much as I was looking forward to sex with Marge, I knew I had to come clean about Paul first. Several scenarios were running though my head.
I feared she would freak out and want to leave me when she found out I had cheated on her. Never mind that it was with a man. I loved Marge more than anything and didn't want to lose her. We have a good marriage and I surely didn't want it to end. I didn't know if she would be able to accept my new found proclivity for sucking dick, much less forgive me for cheating.
From early in our relationship we had shared our sexual fantasies, but we never discussed making them reality. The idea of one of us having sex with another person without the other there had surely never been discussed. And of course me sucking cock or taking one in my ass had never been a topic either. We had shared sexual fantasies in the heat of passionate love making, but me being with a man was not one of them.
The one time a threesome fantasy was mentioned it involved another woman. Until last Sunday night me having sex with a man wasn't even on my radar, but it was a part of me now. I needed her to know that I wanted to continue having sex with Paul. I was hoping that she would understand when I told her what I had done. That she could forgive me for cheating and except my bi-sexuality.
Maybe that was my real dilemma. On the one hand I knew I was going to have sex with Paul again. On the other I did not want to cheat on her anymore. I needed her permission. There was only one option and I knew it.
One scenario I dreaded was that she might forgive my indiscretions, but demand I stay faithful and I dreaded that outcome. I loved Marge enough that I would give up Paul, but I surely would not be happy about it. I really had no idea what the outcome of my confession was going to be. I just knew I had to fess up and face the consequences, whatever they turned out to be. I hoped our marriage could survive this.
I looked up when Marge walked into the room. She stood in front of me and said, "What's got you in such a funk, Tom? You seem like something heavy is weighing on your mind."
The moment had come. I dreaded the confrontation this was sure be become, but I saw no other choice now that I was directly asked for an explanation of my mood. I could see no way that the situation would get any better by putting it off so I decided to lay it all out. Tell her everything and beg her forgiveness.