Struggles in Fidelity

STRUGGLES

Anthony (Tony) Pascale watched his wife Jennie's Audi pull into the hotel parking lot. It was a Marriott on the outskirts of town and had a surface lot only. Jennie's boss Carl's Mercedes was already parked at the end of the lot farthest from the road. He'd been there fifteen minutes. Jennie was late as usual. Jennie pulled right in next to him. They both got out of their cars and embraced briefly. No kisses. Tony assumed that those were being saved for inside.

They started walking across the lot toward the main door. Tony got out of his gray F-150. He sauntered toward the pair. Tony knew that they'd both be nervous. This was their first tryst, as far as he could discern. They were both supposed to be at work, at Carl's law firm's office. But here they were, at four o'clock on a Wednesday, about to go inside and fuck.

Jennie was a pretty woman of thirty-six. She was tall -5'9" - blonde, and on the slim side. Carl was a 6'2" dark complected black man, with a stocky build. Jennie had gone to work for the firm a year before, as a paralegal. She had switched from being a teaching assistant after Tony had encouraged her to take the paralegal course at the community college. Apparently, she and Carl had hit it off well. Tony had sensed something at a firm party the month before. He had asked a buddy of his to check out the firm, and any rumors about Carl and Jenny. The buddy, Buddy Carson - had reported that word at the firm, among the junior lawyers he had sat near at lunch, was that Carl and Jennie were 'getting close.'

Tony had also put a monitor on Jennie's phone. He doubted that it would yield anything, since they worked together and could just talk there. But it was easy to do.

He was a man who favored direct action, though. So, he sat down with Jennie one evening when their twin daughters were on a 'study date.'

"Jen, your interactions with Carl at that party worried me a little. I mean, you stuck real close to him, and ignored me. And he ignored his wife. I know because I was sitting with her, and she and I discussed the matter. So????"

Jennie flushed. "Babe, I like Carl, and he's my boss. But I have...I mean you have nothing to worry about. He's married and has kids, just like me."

"He was coming on to you, Jen. And that was in front of everyone, including spouses. What's up with that?"

"I....I believe he thinks I'm...interested."

"Why ever would he believe that, Jen?"

She was silent for a minute. "Maybe I led him on a bit. But...I understand what you're saying."

"You better understand, Jen. We have our daughters, and we have three years before they're off to college. A lot is at stake. And we made promises to each other. I've kept my end."

"And I have, too! I'm NOT involved with Carl."

"Okay. I only wanted to talk about it, and maybe head off a real disaster."

That ended the discussion, but not Tony's suspicions. He and Carl's wife Betty had had a very frank discussion, as the spouses flirted at the party. The upshot was that she had problems with Carl before. The last of their two kids was about to go off to university. And...to quote, "If he wants to go fucking some white girl, I'll rip him a new one in the divorce." She was an attractive light complected woman, about forty-five. Tony liked her quite a bit.

The talk with Jennie was six weeks before. Tony monitored the phone, texts, and also had one of his people check the law firm each week. Tony had a construction business, and also sold supplies to other companies. But he had some people available who could do what Buddy had done, discretely. He found uses for these three guys, in all sorts of ways.

He was able to be in the parking lot because he had a report that Jeanie and Carl planned to leave work early on Wednesdays. Buddy made that report. He was now a fixture at the diner where many firm employees ate lunch, and he knew many of them. Some he knew very well indeed. Buddy had found over the years that pillow talk was a magnificent way to gather info.

Jennie and Carl had texted over the weekend. Tony thought that was so foolish, given his discussion with Jennie. The texts had given him a place. Buddy knew the approximate time.

So now here he was walking toward the nervous pair of almost lovers. He was wearing jeans, a hoodie and sneakers. His hood was up.

Jennie and Carl were talking. Jennie was looking straight at the ground, like an ostrich, maybe. She was walking slowly. Carl was looking around. He saw Tony, but apparently did not recognize him. He had Jennie by the elbow, guiding her toward the door.

Tony jogged the last few yards so that he could catch the pair before they went inside.

He said, "Hi, Jen. Fancy seeing you here. Hi, Carl. Asshole."

Jennie's eyes got real wide when she heard, then saw Tony. She staggered against a concrete pole near the door.

She said, "Tony....Oh, shit. Tony. Please. Nothing's happened. Please."

Carl assumed a fighting stance. He was a little bigger than Tony. Tony was a dark-haired, stubble-faced guy, who was lean and hard looking. And not small, either.

Tony laughed at Carl. "You think I'm gonna fight you? Maybe get arrested. You take me for a fool?"

Tony reached into the pocket of his hoodie, slowly.

Jennie was still pleading with him not to do anything. "Don't, Tony. Please."

Tony pulled out two business cards.

He said, "This is my divorce lawyer's card. I believe your wife wanted one of these. Maybe if you see her again you can give it to her."

He stuffed the card into the top pocket of Carl's suit jacket. Carl flinched when he did that.

Then he turned to Jennie. "And one for you. Have your lawyer be in touch with mine."

He spread his arms on a grand gesture. "Sorry to have interrupted your little fuckfest. Go right on ahead now." He turned and walked away.

Jennie was leaning on the pole, breathing hard, recovering from the intense fear of death that Tony had provoked. She watched him walk away. No way was she going after him.

But Carl never got that message from her pleading. He started jogging after Tony. He was big and used to intimidating people.

He was shouting, "Come back here! We need to work this out. We can do that."

Jennie owed him nothing, and was too afraid to intervene.

Tony kept walking, his back to Carl. Carl reached him, grabbed his arm and jerked at it.

Bad move.

Tony hit him in the neck, below his jaw. No use breaking his hand for this fool. Carl staggered away, but not far enough. Tony was on him, and landed a right uppercut to the balls. That put Carl on the ground.

Tony called the cops, who arrived quickly from the station about two blocks away. Tony was leaning against his truck. Jennie was still on the pole by the entrance.

Carl was crawling away from Tony, toward the hotel.

It took two hours of Tony's time, and the video from the hotel security, before the cops allowed him to leave. The EMT's had taken Carl away. Police interviewed Jennie, and let her leave.

An hour later, Tony walked into his home. The twins were there, but Jennie was not.

He called them downstairs.

They were fifteen. As close to identical as possible. Ella and Rita. Slim, brown hair, dark eyes. Sparkling eyes.

"Girls, today your mom had a....well, an assignation with her boss at a hotel. I interrupted that. But there will be very big problems around here."

They knew what an assignation was.

"What do you mean 'interrupted?'"

"I stopped them as they were going inside. Then Mr. Cash - Carl - came up behind me as I was leaving and grabbed me. I had to hit him, I'm afraid."

Tony saw a small smile on Rita's face. Ella was the more straightlaced one. She frowned.

"Have they been doing it before?" This was Ella.

"I don't think they have. Today was, I believe, a first. Supposed to be a first, I guess."

Rita said, "Geez, Dad. Poor Mr. Cash gets beat and never gets any." She had a broad smile now.

Tony said, "Some guys just aren't lucky." He couldn't help smiling with her.

Ella said, all serious, "Since Mom didn't...you know..."

Rita chimed in, "Get fucked."

Ella looked at her. "Yeah. Since she didn't, will you....forgive her?"

"I....maybe, but right now, maybe not. Might depend on what she says. We didn't talk at the hotel scene."

Rita said, "Because she was scared."

"She didn't have to be scared. I wouldn't hurt her - physically, I mean."

Ella said, "But you hurt Mr. Cash."

"He didn't have to come after me. His bad."

Rita said, "He's a big guy, and a big shot, too."

'He sits in an office all day, maybe. He went down fast."

Ella asked, "Where's Mom?"

"Dunno. Maybe ping her phone." We all had family phone locators.

Jennie was at her parents' house across town.

Tony looked at the clock. "Time for some dinner. What kind of pizza?"

They had meat lovers, and a veggie for Ella.

As they were finishing, the land line rang, and announced the grandparents' number. Tony looked at Rita, and she picked up.

A pause. "Hi, Mom. How could you do that?"

Ella punched the button so we could all hear.

".....and I only need to speak to your dad. But, not on the phone. I want to come over. Am I on speaker?"

Tony said, "Yep."

"Tony, can I come there?"

"Too soon to talk. I have a meeting at eight tomorrow. I'll come home for lunch. Noonish."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"Can't say I believe that."

Sobs. The line disconnected.

The three of them had a quiet evening. The girls were upstairs, supposedly studying. But Tony thought probably not. Tony wrote an account of today's events, and emailed it to Shana Barkley, his 'family law' attorney. She soon texted back asking if she should file. Tony told her to hold off until after he spoke to Jennie.

Then Tony spent time checking inventory reports from his sales business, and fired off some instructions to his buyer. At midnight, he went to bed, but didn't sleep well. He had truly been surprised, even shocked, at Jennie's behavior. Nothing he knew about her accounted for it. He knew she wasn't faking orgasms, and they had sex two or three times a week. It was varied and often playful. Tony, of course, thought about other women, and was sometimes tempted. But he had never been close to straying. He loved Jennie and his family life. And, it was his firm impression that the same applied to his wife. So????

He did have a morning meeting, and was able to see that through well. He was good at compartmentalizing. He got home at twelve fifteen, and found Jennie in their kitchen. She was drinking a Diet Pepsi, sitting at the table. She was wearing a flowered dress. Not business wear at the firm.

They nodded to each other, and Tony said, "I don't understand. Please explain to me why you would take such a risk."

A few tears were sliding down her face. "I thought about it all night. I feel like I was split in two. I was one person here, and a different person at work. I can't explain it more than that."

Tony frowned. "Maybe we should go back to basics. How long? What have you done?"

"I've been there a year. Carl and I always got along. We haven't....the hotel was to be the first time we had sex. I'm so sorry. So....so embarrassed about all of it."

"What do you mean 'always got along'?"

"Not sex. He and I were....friends quickly. He was having some problems at home. One day, soon after I started, he explained to me. He was trying to say why he was distracted at the job."

"And, the problems, from what I learned, were because he was screwing a client, and Betty found out. You mean he laid all that out for you?"

"Mostly. It came out in small parts, over some days. I felt as if he was confiding in me. And I felt like he...like he wanted a sympathetic ear. So, I was flattered. He's a big deal lawyer, and...."

"And good looking." Tony was moving her along.

"Yes. There is that."

"And black."

"Oh, Tony. I....maybe a little. But I've been hit on all my life, including by black guys. I don't know why, all of a sudden, I was giving in."

"I guess something changed with us? You felt you needed more. What?"

"It isn't you, or the family. It's....me. You haven't made some mistake, or got boring. I told you, it was like work turned me into another woman. Another....personality"

"But slipping into another personality. That's....it must mean you weren't satisfied, somehow."

"Not satisfied with me, as I was. Not dissatisfied with you."

"So, nothing I did. And, nothing I can do now."

"I'm sorry, I know, you know, I should have spoken to you about it all. But, I didn't see it coming, and when it did, I just thought....I could....I'm sorry. I thought I could get away with it, for a short time. How.....how was it that you could be there? I know it wasn't coincidence."

"I was unsettled. We had our talk, and I was still unsettled. I made inquiries. You know, there's gossip all over your office. I had someone gather it for me."

"Nobody knew at the office, about where we were going...... Oh, I see. You tapped my phone."

"Yeah. They knew at the office that the two of you were taking off Wednesday afternoon. And he texted you the place. So, I showed up. If you would have gone through with it, terrible things would have happened. Bad, bad stuff."

Jennie was openly sobbing. "I...when we were there...I wasn't sure, even then. I was about ready to bolt. And...there you were."

"I have to think all this over." Tony was calm, but not happy at all. He had seen her reluctance at the hotel. He thought maybe he should have seen if she would do it. But that wasn't him.

He said, "What sort of sex contact have you and Carl had? No lies. No soft peddling."

"We made out some. Felt each other up. In his car when we went to lunch. I...well, I rubbed him once, through his pants while we were kissing. He came. Oh, did he. And I watched him....clean up with his hanky. So, I've seen his dick. But, even then, I didn't touch it, except through his pants."

She started to giggle, "He had to change pants. We stopped at Walmart, and I went in and bought him slacks. And underwear."

"When was all that?"

"Two weeks ago. Thursday, two weeks ago. After that, he persuaded me that...that he wanted me so bad. I mean, that was obvious. He was like a teenager. I was so flattered. When he put on his new stuff in the back seat, I watched. He was already hard again."

"He wanted you, and you wanted him. Was his cock big?"

"Yes. Sorry. It's big. So's yours, though. And that episode is as far as we got."

"What do you want now, Jennie? Do you want his big cock, his big black cock?"

"No!"

"Be honest. Did you go to work today?"

"I didn't. I called in sick."

"But you still want Carl, right?"

"No. I mean, I do...I do believe I'd enjoy it. I won't lie. If it wasn't for everything else, I'd probably like it. Not probably. I would. Sorry. You said to be honest."

"Here's what I see, right now. If you keep your job, you'll slip right back into being your job Jennie thing. And, you'll end up fucking him."

"I'll quit. I can get...maybe go back to the school. I can quit."

"Okay. It's a start. But, I can't say what might happen. I mean, you were going in there...shit."

"Tony. I hope we can hold it together. I haven't actually cheated. Completely cheated. It should make some difference."

That ended the conversation. Jennie went back to her parents' house.

She emailed her resignation to work - to Carl and the HR woman. She cited personal reasons. Then she sent out emails to local schools, looking for work. The pandemic had caused a shortage of teachers and teacher's aides. She didn't think it would take long for her to be employed.

Tony had almost decided to allow Jennie back into the house, on some sort of probation. He was home of an evening, and the twins were out. Jennie had gotten a job at their school, working for two math teachers.

It was eight o'clock, and there came a knock on the door. Tony looked out and saw Carl. He went over to a safe in his office and got a 9 mm. pistol, making sure it was ready. He opened the door.

Carl said, "I need to speak to you." He looked at the gun in Tony's hand. "I don't mean any harm. You don't need a gun. I understand that you could whup me anyway."

"Maybe. But I feel more comfortable just shooting you. Easier, less muss and fuss. Black intruder shot by homeowner."

"Shit. I'll....leave. Don't shoot." He started to walk away.

Tony said, "I won't shoot you, Carl. But why are you here?"

"To talk. To apologize."

Tony let him inside. He turned right around and said, "Well?"

"Tony, I....I was badly mistaken to try for Jennie. I confess that I like to pursue women, married or not. But, I never should have done that with her. She's so nice. I found myself....I was falling for her. I held off and then...I went for her. She....where we got to wasn't easy. She resisted. I believe she really liked and admired me. Even when you caught us, I wasn't sure she'd go with me."

"But you were going to see it through. What was your aim, ultimately? I mean, if you fucked her, you'd be seeing her every day. Did you want some affair? Or to marry her? What?"

"I never thought all that far. I wanted to be as close to her as I could get."

"You wanted to be inside her. That's what."

"Yes. I am sorry I fucked up her life. I hope you don't break up over this. It's mostly my fault."

"Well, just stay away from her, okay? If I do find that you're still after her, something very bad will happen. If you had succeeded in fucking her, you'd have suffered......immeasurably."

"I will not keep on. I won't."

Carl left, somewhat nervously. He hustled down the walk and jogged to his car.

Tony considered what Carl had said, in conjunction with what Jennie had said about being another person at work than at home. She didn't have to work at all, and she hadn't had any problems when she was teaching at the school. He wondered if switching back to working at the school would keep her on track. Or would she now become someone else even there?

He paced restlessly until one am. Then he fell asleep. When he woke, he had decided to tell Jennie to come home. The main deciding factor, other than their good marriage all the years, was the twins. They needed a mom, and they needed to talk with her and maybe learn some lessons that he couldn't teach them.

It was a Saturday, and Tony called Jennie and asked her to come home - "For now."

She cried. She was at the house in thirty minutes, no baggage. They were in bed in thirty-five minutes. That was another reason that Tony relented. Sex. They always had at least good sex, and sometimes great sex. Today was great, plus.

The twins undoubtedly heard what was happening in their parents' bedroom. When Tony and Jennie came downstairs, the twins were waiting in the kitchen.

Rita said, "Well! I never....!"

Jennie looked down at her feet, but Tony only laughed. Ella laughed as well.

Ella said, "Are you two together now?"

Tony smiled, "For now."

Rita said, "You have a good start on your pathway to full reconciliation. Sex first, talk later. Like in the old west."

Jennie said, "Rita! Anyway, that was shoot first, talk later."

Rita smiled. "Sounded to me like you got a good shot, Mom. Dad shot first. You didn't seem to mind. Are you gonna talk, now?"

Tony said, "Rita, don't sass your Mom. She's unsure of herself now. We all have to make this.....well, I was going to say easier. But I've rethought. Say what you feel, girls. All three of you, I mean."

Jennie said, "I love you both. I'm sorry for screwing up. I'm making sure that it doesn't happen again."

Ella said, "How? How are you making sure?"

Tony said, "Good question."

"I have an appointment with a therapist. Starting Monday after school, and twice a week. I have to understand what happened to me. I will do that, I swear I will." She had such a determined look on her face.