Spicing or Icing
Part Four (of Four)
Chapter Seven
Icing
Mica and Rob had had a clear-the-air talk. Which was great but didn't make them feel like they were fixed. Afterwards Rob said, "Our talk was like D Day. A big necessary event, but more is needed because we can still lose the war."
Mica was worried her husband related their open honest discussion to warfare. Those weren't the sort of comparisons that made a young woman's heart go pitty-pat, or a wife feel comfortable in her position.
Mica wasn't happy that Rob asked her to sleep in the second bedroom that night. She called her sister in tears after retiring, fleeing really, to said accommodation. Julie was initially taken aback as well. She sighed knowing Mica probably hadn't put her best foot forward. She'd warned Rob about that. Julie figured she may get a call from him tomorrow; this volunteer marriage counselor gig was tough!
Julie was much less discouraged when Mica finished her recap of her discussion with Rob.
Julie's side of the phone conversation with Mica had her husband in stitches, "Okay, Sis, look on the bright side. Rob held you. He told you he wanted things to work. He let you explain the situation. He believes you didn't cheat. And let me get this last part right, he kissed you goodnight. How have you turned this into a defeat?"
Mica's responses couldn't be heard, Julie's husband found the conversation more entertaining that way. He enjoyed imagining what she might be saying.
Julie replied to whatever Mica had just said, "Yes, Mica, you said his kiss didn't have much passion. Then again, it wasn't a kiss good-bye!"
Julie's husband stopped trying to read the article he'd been enjoying. His wife's conversation was much more entertaining. He placed his pad aside to watch Julie openly. Julie looked at his grin with a I-can't-believe-you expression.
Still looking at her husband, Julie answered her sister, "No, Mica, I think you ARE doing good, honey! If he'd spanked you, I'd think you were doing well. Anything short of strangulation sounds like a positive. Yesterday I didn't think he'd listen to your explanation until three years after your divorce. I based that estimate on when I expected his rebound marriage to end. So, I feel you've jumped ahead considerably in what I feared a five-year plan."
Mica's wail of anguish was loud enough for Julie's husband to hear. Julie scowled at his inability to contain his snickering.
"No, no, calm down. Well, no, I'm not kidding. Who would kid about something like that?"
Mica's voice could be heard from across the room even if her words were indecipherable. Julie's husband nodded his enthusiastic approval at Mica's unrestrained drama, making his wife's jaw drop. Julie openly scowled at him now.
"Please calm down, Mica. Hey look, that was the good alternative. I also feared you may come home to find he'd done himself harm. I mean you were his last refuge, and with you pulling the rug out from under him like you did ..."
Mica's howling misery resembled a tornado warning claxon.
Julie quickly punched the mute button to hiss at her husband who now had both hands clamped over his mouth. She stabbed the button again to reply to both Mica and her husband.
"No! Please calm down. You're too loud! You're probably waking him up, and the neighbors too."
The same laser-beam eyes that typically put Julie's spouse in his place only fanned the flames of his laughter now.
"Of course, what you did was that bad. Are you, delusional? Oh Mica, I'm sorry! Don't worry, we're trying to help you with that, too."
Julie eventually got Mica calmed down and off the phone claiming she had to attend to a husband who had done her a biggie lately. He had; holding down the fort with the kids and her crazed sister while Julie ran off to spend the morning vomiting with her brother-in-law. Although her mate wasn't quite perfect: he'd howled at what he called "the diorama of drama" Julie had made of her arm with the old icing. The bastard laughed every time he caught her rewashing her arm that night too! However, Julie didn't wash the lecherous grin off her face remembering what her hubby had done to give her an exhausted sound sleep.
Despite her sister's worry, Julie was convinced Mica was in a better place than twenty-four hours earlier. She also thought Rob was much better off. He was back to being disappointed and angry instead of despondent. He knew he hadn't been betrayed by his wife. Now he could concentrate on his job's attempts to kill him. Yep, the phrase "better place" was on a sliding scale for Rob right now. Still, Julie doubted Rob wanted to turn back the clock a full day either.
Rob did feel better. Still off balance, he could feel color and meaning seep back into his life. His hope was restored, though not completely repaired. He felt the beginning reawakening of passion for his wife as well. This episode had reset his priorities. Rob rubbed his mouth at the reaffirmation Mica was on board if he had to quit his job, even if they had to bail on their lease ruining their credit. Rob felt some control over his life and circumstances again.
Mica clinging to him helped too. A gorgeous woman throwing herself at you does wonderful things for both ego and libido. Just knowing that he wasn't competing to keep Mica was a tremendous relief. Knowing she still desired him, that she didn't see him as a loser who couldn't bring it, as well as her telling him how much she wanted to be with him, were powerful aphrodisiacs. They'd have to be to resurrect his thoroughly defunct sex drive.
Rob felt something else late that night. He sat up suddenly throwing the sheets back happily watching his manhood twitch like a conductor's baton. He wondered if he could eventually time the spasms to Bolero.
Rob smiled crookedly amazed what a little confidence and control over one's life can do. Rob wanted to try out his re-found masculinity, but not yet. He still had a number of ghosts to exorcise before risking wilting in the third inning.
Parts of his wife's performance that Friday still caused him to droop like a daisy in a drought. He still wasn't able to shake the image of adultery she'd so proudly painted for him.
Unable to sleep Rob came up with a course of action. Now that he knew Mica wasn't cheating, he paid attention to what Mica said she was trying to do: spice things up for him. Much of her performance would have been pretty damn sexy in a different context. The way she dressed, her voice, the way she moved, were all hot, except the visual of that icing and its meaning still gutted him. He tried a trick Julie had mentioned her husband might employ; unable to erase the visual, Rob tried convincing himself the icing was his.
Maybe it would work eventually, but not the first night. Instead, Rob focused on remembering what Mica said and how she'd moved. Mica had worked hard to present a new image. He tried to cherry-pick the situation. It worked, for a certain amount of time. Rob smiled at the thought that if the mechanics worked at all, it proved they could work. He was joyful THAT wasn't the problem.
His physical performance problem defused; Rob tried to right the train wreck in his head. He sought out all the insecurities and terrible images to consciously label them as false. That worked too; he no longer had as many disrupting thoughts kicking him in the mental gonads.
Except for one image. The haunting sight of another man's deposit sliding down his wife's leg materialized again, making him roll back and forth in bed to dislodge it. Rob had considered Mica's leg, and the other area concerned, his private domain. Mica had taken that belief away from him. That still stung and stung hard.
Rob searched for ways to excavate the minefield in his head. If he found and destroyed the root cause it should negate the entire chain of cascading evil thoughts. If he could find some way to convince his entire mind that deposit was only icing, he'd have the worst behind him. Though he knew it to be true, not all of him believed it. If only he could absolutely verify ...
Rob suddenly sat up again. Why didn't he think of it sooner? There WAS a way to verify everything, but it was repugnant! He could have certainty, although at price of his comfort and his pride.
If he did this awful thing only to find Mica was lying, he'd be angry at himself the rest of his life. Rob also understood no one was putting a gun to his head. No one had manipulated him to do this. If Mica or her sister had thought of it, they would have suggested it. They didn't think of it, so it was entirely on him. He'd surely lose some self-respect if he duped himself. He'd correctly discern there was no one he could trust his welfare and best interests to, including himself. Then again, he could rid himself of the paralyzing doubt, he could live again.
Rob wondered if a man should really want this kind of information confirmed. Wasn't it terrible enough to ask the question, "Has my wife become a cumslut?" Do you really want to know you're completely alone in life?' However, there were possible positives too: proving Mica was faithful and confirming he was loved.
The positive side of the ledger far out weighted the negative. Or did it? All the wonderful things life could give versus despondent nihilism. These scales would never balance, they were set at all or nothing.
Damn it, how could a man be given that choice and walk away? It was like a call from destiny. While that may be hyperbole, it was also certainly a way to verify Mica's fidelity, which Rob needed to believe for his own sanity.
Heeding the call of destiny, forcing himself off the bed. He strode boldly to the closet ready to confront his nemesis. This was no time for half measures; Rob melodramatically raked clothes hangers to the side to find the object of his haunting.
