Sherry's Diary: Introduction

Her diaries. More than 50 years of memories spanning thousands of pages. All I had left of her.

It was all there. The day a boy first got to second base. Our honeymoon. Her early masturbatory fantasies about a boy named Keith on a show called "The Partridge Family." All the things that happened before we met. The times she cheated. The man who forced himself on her that I never knew about. So much more.

Sherry had made me promise I would never read her diaries. I didn't during her lifetime. Now that shelf full of journals was all I have of her. This is how I keep her memory with me. By reading about the good, the bad, and everything between.

This story it taken from her life story. It might seem odd that I post it here, but Sherry was a very sexual person right up to the end. I don't know where else but literotica would reprint it all.

Actually, that's not even exactly true though. Literotica has a good rule about not publishing stories about intimate acts concerning people not of legal age, so I will necessarily begin with Sherry's life when she went away to college.

Note: Some names changed and sometimes I take liberty with the words just to provide some background.

###

October 18, 1973

Went to see "The Way We Were" with Jeff. He liked it. I thought I would, but I fell asleep. I guess classes are kicking my ass and we definitely shouldn't have smoked that joint before we went into the movie house.

On the way out of the film, a woman came up to me in the bathroom and said that Jeff had "taken liberties" while I was sleeping. She hurried in to say that and then hurried out. I don't even know what it meant exactly.

I checked my bra, zipper, and everything and nothing seemed out of place, but I doubt she would have made it up. It bothered me but if he did anything it was probably nothing I wouldn't have let him do or maybe even wanted him to do if I had been awake.

I didn't ask him about it in the car on the way home but I wanted to. Instead we made small talk about a lit class and made fun of the professor, but it was mostly him talking. When it was obvious that I wasn't keeping up with the conversation I just told him that I had been tired and maybe too stoned. We were going to go hang out at Jane's but I asked him to take me back to the dorms instead.

We went to the room and Darcy (my roommate) was there, and I was relieved because I thought I wouldn't have to wrestle Jeff and his wandering hands again. But Darcy thought we were looking for some privacy and made up an excuse about studying with a friend and left.

(She and I need to figure out some signals - I did the same thing to her last week.)

Darcy probably wasn't even down the stairs and Jeff started making moves and was trying to get my clothes off again. I didn't want that - not tonight - but Jeff was insistent.

I told him I was OTR and that slowed him down - but it didn't stop him. Finally I unzipped him and just gave him a hand job. He wanted more but I wasn't ready to do "that" for him - I really didn't even want to put my hand on it never mind my mouth - but he seemed to need something and playing with it for a while seemed make him happy.

It didn't take long. He came in my hand and all over his pants. There was a lot. He was wearing light tan pants and now they had spots and smudges around the crotch area.

It looked funny. No doubt what had happened really. I giggled.

It made him mad a bit I could tell. He made a big deal about how hard it was going to be get it off his clothes and everything. I laughed at that - I mean it's just cum and it comes right out in the wash, right? But he was totally up in arms about it.

You could tell he wanted to ask me how I knew about men's cum and the wash. He looked at me so oddly when I said it.

I sensed jealousy there. Yet another red flag. Those are building up with him.

I like Jeff but he is too eager. I am starting to question whether he really likes me or just my tits. Also, I'm still mad he stretched out my blouse last time.

Also, that woman's warning is weighing on me. I wish she would have told me more.

###

I probably shouldn't read Sherry's diaries from before we got together. It feels like an intrusion - but I am fascinated with her and always have been. This entry was from her first year at Cal, and I actually knew Jeff. He was a fucking weasel.

I never knew that Jeff and Sherry were a thing and I guess they really weren't for long. I certainly never knew she slept with him - I just always assumed he acted so overly chummy with her because he was naturally annoying and a bit of a douche.

Here's a later entry on Jeff. (There are others between this last one and the one below, but nothing of consequence.)

###

November 11, 1973

No classes tomorrow. They might have fucked up Vietnam, but soldiers are at least good for one day every year. Happy Veteran's Day!

Jeff and I went to the beach. A stupid idea. Who goes to the beach in November? Even here? It was cold and windy and we ended up just going to the shops at the pier and eating really bad chowder.

I think Jeff had other plans all along as we didn't even leave for the beach until almost 1PM. It was after 2 when we got there and I think we were ready to be off the beach within an hour. We browsed the shops on the pier and ate and then he suddenly remembered that his brother owns a little apartment nearby and he has a key.

He suddenly remembered? How transparent could he be? I was tired of fighting Jeff and went with it. We went to his brother's trashy, gross little apartment building and finally did it. It wasn't bad.

I could describe the foreplay and whatever but there really was none. We went to the apartment to fuck and we both knew it. The signals were there and once we were in the door I just took off my clothes for him and we did it. I don't know why I did that. I really wasn't that into the idea.

Jeff had his issues with my body stuff. I warned him that when I get wet it's a lot and he made me put a towel under my butt. He was worried about messing up his brothers couch or something. (There was a bed but I absolutely refused to get in it. Changing sheets is a thing and the whole room smelled like an old sweat sock.)

Jeff didn't try to put his mouth on me. I wanted that but I could tell he was freaked out about how I told him how juicy I get. Some guys get turned on, but he didn't seem to and I didn't push it. At least he didn't just lay me down and try to stick it in me. He spent a lot of time playing with me with his fingers and so I was ready when he finally put on his condom and got started.

(He didn't want to wear the condom and I had to make him - everything seems to be a fight with this man.)

Jeff made funny faces while we did it. I didn't want to laugh or anything. Didn't want to upset him. It was hard to get into it though so I finally closed my eyes and just let him do his thing. That helped, but I still couldn't quite get there.

After, he didn't take off his rubber which was disgusting. I really kind of like looking at dicks and the way they go up and down. I really do. But, his softened dick still wrapped up in a rubber filled with his stuff wasn't something I wanted to look at. I finally took it off him which was gross. I had to take it into the bathroom and flush down the toilet while he just laid there and checked out my ass.

We laid around a bit, but I didn't feel comfortable there so I was ready to go pretty quick. He didn't want me to put my clothes back on. I think he wanted to do it again so he stalled and stalled. He finally got the message when I was fully dressed and had my purse in my hand. He put his clothes on and we left and went straight back to school.

He wanted to come in - but I told him I was tired and fucked out and needed to study for trimester final anyway. He got that it was a firm no, but he was frustrated and pouted like a little boy. At the dorm parking lot there was no kiss. He just dumped me at the curb.

I've decided Jeff is an asshole and I'm going to not do this anymore.

###

November 14, 1973

Jeff asked me to go back to Denver with him for the Christmas break. I told him I didn't think it was going to work so no, I wasn't interested in going. Obviously we weren't on the same page when it came to our relationship.

He legitimately seemed upset. He told me he thought we had been great together and felt so close to me and whatever. He brought up the sex. I really had to resist telling him that it wasn't good. I had a bad habit of insulting his masculinity and I was afraid he'd do something crazy.

He wanted to have this big relationship talk and I didn't really feel like there was much to talk about. He was hurt and then he was mad and then he wanted another chance.

And then he tried to get me to have sex with him again. How can a man be so insensitive? I pretty much threw him out of my room, but not before he got loud and abusive.

Pretty much everyone in the dorm knows now that we had sex. I don't know why it is that men want you to have sex then call you a whore when you have it with them, but that's what he called me before he stormed out.

I told him he was a terrible lay as he was about the door. He had wanted to hurt me but I think that really hurt him. I'm glad there were people around because he looked ready to hurt me physically.

I really have to be more selective about the men I go out with. I can't wait for break as I'm dreading seeing him on campus. I want him to go away.

###

Jeff left for break a week later, but when the new trimester started, I guess he wasn't ready to give up, but Sherry had moved on already.

Sherry's new flame was not me. I wouldn't meet her for more than a year. She met Dan - the man I met and befriended who introduced me to Sherry as his fiancé a long time after - at a friends and they had hit it off famously. (Another story for another time.)

###

January 14, 1974

I finally got back to my dorm about 6AM on Monday morning, wearing the clothes I had worn to go out on Friday night. No shower either. I was famished as we hadn't even really eaten much other than each other. (Hee-hee.) Walk of shame anyone? My first - and it felt delightfully dirty as I made my way through the common rooms to the stairs.

The stairs not so much though - I realized I was sore and moving up the stairs made me sorer. Too much of a good thing I guess, but I wouldn't change a thing.

No one was awake yet so I snuck in okay without anyone calling me out, but darcy woke up when I came in and told me that Jeff had been by to try to see me - six different times. He'd arrived on Friday and had come by every day at least once, sometimes twice..

By Sunday evening, he wasn't very well behaved I guess. I probably owe a favor to the guy in 6B for finally throwing Jeff out of the building because he was being an asshole.

Oh, and the resident adviser wants to see me.

I called Jeff from the commons because I felt like it was time to really end this, and he was at different times begging for me to give him another chance and then abusive and condescending. He wanted to know where I had been and I sort of told him the truth because I was tired of trying to let him down easy.

He called me a whore again, and I looked down and realized I was wearing Dan's shirt, no bra and no socks. (I had been wearing all of those when I had left home on Friday night.)

Now I really do feel like a whore, but I just hung up on him because I wasn't Jeff's whore.

That's really what he had wanted from the relationship anyway.

###

So that was the story of Sherry's first real adult relationship when she left home for college. A single handjob, a tustle on Jeff's brothers couch, and a stretched out blouse from what I'd guess was a make-out session but I can't find the diary entry. (There's tons to read here and I might have missed it.)

The diary entry goes on. Her first entry since January 10 days earlier and there was much to cover. Meeting a man at a glee club event. Going out to a late dinner with him. Then basically going home with him and hardly getting out of bed for the next three days. It was surprisingly non-pornographic, or I'd have probably posted some of it here.

The man's name was Dan and Sherry was still going out with him more than a year later when I first met her.

I mentioned earlier that Dan and Sherry had been engaged when I met her. I would love to tell you that Dan was a bad man and that I had saved her from him. It would be a lie though. Reading through her diaries, he seemed like a great guy with a bright future who was good to her.

I think back to the human train wreck that I was when she left Sherry for me and I had never understood what she saw in me over Dan. Reading the section where we met and gaining insight made me love and miss her more.

It's quite a read, but I guess that's a story for another time.