At the hospital Martin was off the ventilator and was out of the intensive care unit. I sat beside his bed while he slept and thought about my life and if I would be ending it alone, or basically alone, as this man was. When I looked up Martin was awake and looking at me and when he feebly reached out with his hand I took it in mine and we simply sat there in silence. After about ten minutes Martin gave me a tired smile and simply said, "Thank you," and went back to sleep. A few minutes later I left.
I asked the taxi to wait while I went inside to get my wallet when he pulled to the top of the driveway at the Villa Vegeta. When I went into the apartment I was relieved to see that Jeremy and Lucinda were gone and that my wallet was where I left it on top of the dresser. But when I opened it, it was empty and I smiled to myself because I was not surprised. I had my passport in my purse with me when I left for the hospital and I wondered if Jeremy would have also taken my passport again if I had left it there.
I opened the vacuum cleaner and had to rip open the paper bag to retrieve my roll of euros that I had hidden there. My hands and the money were covered in dust and I tried to brush the money and my hands off the best I could as I went down the stairs to pay the taxi driver. When I told him I could only pay him in euros he shrugged and got out his calculator and then told me how much.
When I got back up into the apartment I looked out the window at the gazebo in the park and thought of Ulla and Martin, of Ulla's ashes being spread there and of Martin's annual pilgrimage to the place where they met and her ashes were spread. And I thought life can be a long lonely trip if you don't have someone to share it with, but no matter what it always ends in tragedy.
Just then a clap of thunder resounded over the water and Stockholm and the skies opened up in a furious downpour and I smiled and said to myself, "I hope they are standing somewhere out in this rain with their thumbs out." But then I remembered they had my money so they probably took the train.
....
The next day Martin had a lot of his color back and, although he could talk a little bit, I did most of the talking. It was very therapeutic for me, almost like going to a psychiatrist as I worked things out. I told Martin about Jeremy and Lucinda and how glad I was to be read of them even if they did take nearly 500 Kronor of mine. When I noticed Martin was asleep again I left the hospital and went into Stockholm for the day and explored Gamla Stan.
The following day when I visited Martin he was looking much better and feeling quite a bit stronger and he asked me how long I thought I would stay in Stockholm. I looked at him and then I surprised myself when I said, "I don't have to report at school until the last week of August. I will stay here until the middle of August."
That day when I left I wondered about why I had made that promise to him, but I knew I would keep it and I felt good about doing so. I had the taxi drop me off in Djursholm and walked back to The Villa Vegeta along the archipelago in the beautiful piercing light of Scandinavia and realized that, for the first time in a very long time, I was content.
The next day at the hospital Martin asked me, "How much will you make this year teaching in the Seattle public schools?"
"With my education level and step increase I will make $54,000 this year, that's not too bad for nine months work." I answered.
"Please don't answer me right now, I want you to go home and sleep on it first, but I will pay you that amount to stay with me for the next nine months. The first few months you will be more of a nurse than a traveling companion, but as soon as I am well enough, hopefully before the full brunt of a Scandinavian winter, we will be traveling out of here. That amount will be tax free to you and net of any living expenses. We will continue to live on a first class basis, or at least as close to it as we can while I recover. Give it some thought and give me your answer tomorrow and now I'm going back to sleep." He said and closed his eyes.
That evening I composed a letter of resignation to the Seattle Public School system.
.....
Three weeks later Gisela and I brought Martin home to the Villa Vegeta.
Two days before Martin's release from the hospital his doctor went over all the foods and activities he should avoid. When he came to sex he told Martin that he should not think of having 'active' sex for at least six months. When he said that I interrupted him and said, "Does that mean he can have 'inactive' sex prior to that?"
And without missing a beat the doctor continued on in all seriousness and said, "He can have passive sex after a month."