As I entered my house to find Carla, in the lounge talking on the phone, she gave me a quick smile and nod as she talked. I listened to one side of her conversation.
"He's just arrived now."
"No, I got Phil to take the children back to our place, they have no idea what's going on, we just told them that Caitlin wasn't well. Roger will have to go and see them later."
"We've called the doctor to her, he should be here soon. But we don't want him giving her too many pills and things in the condition her minds in at the moment. Perhaps Rog will be able to calm her down a bit."
"OK Jean, I'll speak to you tomorrow. Bye."
She replaced the receiver and smiled at me.
"Oh God Rog, I'm so glad you're here, Caitlin's in a terrible state. She's in your bedroom, you've got to go and talk to her."
"Thanks for being hear Carla, Lin and Jim persuaded me that I needed to speak to her. But I can't undo anything, she started all this."
"No Roger, that arse-hole Tony started this! Now we've all got to try and pick up the pieces. We realise you have been very badly hurt, but for the time being Caitlin is still you're wife and she loves you very much. From what she has been saying I don't think she intends to live without you. Please go up there and at least give her some hope. With time she might be able to accept losing you, but she couldn't handle the shock you gave her last night!"
I didn't reply to Carla; I went up to the bedroom.
Caitlin didn't hear me enter the room; she was lying on the bed, curled up in the foetal position. I could hear her sobbing into the pillow, at the same time she was mumbling to herself. As always my heart tried to reach out to her, and I felt like a piece of shit. I had brought the woman I love to this. But no I hadn't; Caitlin had done the cheating I had just reacted as any man would. I'm only bloody human.
"Caitlin." I whispered softy. "Caitlin can you hear me?"
Cait stopped crying and slowly lifted her head from the pillow. I think she wasn't sure whether she had imagined my voice or not.
"Caitlin I'm here. Do you want to see me?"
She turned to look at me, her eyes looked red raw from crying. God she looked like death, no wonder everyone was so worried.
"Please Roger, I'm so sorry."
I crossed the two paces to the bed and took her in my arms.
"Not now Babe, I'm not leaving, I love you. I read it all wrong, I thought you were tired of me."
Caitlin started mumbling again, but I couldn't make out what she was saying.
"Baby you have to calm down and get some sleep, everything will be alright tomorrow!"
I wasn't really convinced of what I was saying. But there are times in life when you just have to say what people need to hear, and this was one of them.
A few minutes later the doctor arrived, Carla and I had filled him in on the story, he gave Caitlin a sedative and said he would see her again in the morning.
Once Caitlin was asleep. Carla told me that Jean had told her that with the help of the police, she had thrown Tony out of the house. Jean told Carla that she wasn't putting any blame on Caitlin and had called to try to tell her, in the long term she hopped they would be friends again. But of course Caitlin had been in no condition to talk.
It struck me that whatever Caitlin had said after I left last night. It appeared to have convinced everyone that Tony was the villain of the piece and Caitlin was the fall guy. I was beginning to wonder how our friends were going to react to me if I were to divorce Cait?
At Carla's suggestion I slept in the same bed as Caitlin. Carla thought that if Caitlin wakes up, me being there should calm her down. When I awoke in the morning Caitlin's arms were around me, and it was with some difficulty that I extracted myself. Caitlin was still out of it from the sedatives.
Downstairs Carla, who had stayed the night in our spare room had prepared breakfast. We sat to eat it and were just beginning to discuss what was going to happen between Caitlin and me. When suddenly we heard a heart rending scream come from the bedroom.
"NNNNooooooooooooooooo! No Oh no!"
Carla, who was nearer the door, ran up the stairs with me in close pursuit. We arrived in the bedroom to find Caitlin sitting on the floor beside the bed sobbing uncontrollably. Carla knelt beside her, enveloping Cait in her arms.
"Caitlin what's wrong?" she asked.
"I dreamt he had come back, he was here with me, but he's not! Oh I miss him so much. What am I going to do?"
"I am here Cait! I said in as gentle a voice as I could manage. I haven't gone away again."
Caitlin who hadn't seen me enter the room, jumped to her feet and threw her arms around me. I gave her a hug in return.
"You must relax Caitlin, because you are making yourself ill. When you feel up to it you can tell me what happened and I promise I will listen to your explanations."
"Oh darling I'd thought I'd lost you. Please forgive me."
"Cait, I want to forgive you, but I don't know you reasons for betraying our marriage, you are going to have to convince me that I should. But please don't go worrying about it now, Just try and calm yourself down and don't go scaring us like that again. Now I don't want too but I have to go out for a little while and meet Jean."
Caitlin gave a start.
"Don't go getting exited, Jean isn't blaming you for all this. She called yesterday to make her piece with you. But she needs my help in getting rid of Tony. I've got to meet her shortly, but I'll be back by around lunchtime, you just take things easy and we'll talk later."
Carla told me she would stay until Linda came to relieve her. I queried about the children but Carla said they would be all right at her place, as she had the au pere as well as her children's nanny (Phil's a high flyer, money is no object in their home.) but I had better pop in and say hallow to them.
After assuring Caitlin once again that I would be back later, I left to meet Jean at the solicitors. My presence was not really required but I wanted to be there for Jean.
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After Jean had seen the solicitor and put the wheels in motion, we went to a café and had some coffee.
Jean was in remarkably good spirits. She informed me that, the Tony we all knew was not the one she lived with. He would put on a front whenever anyone else was present. Jean said he was frequently violent to her, and she knew he had several affairs, but she never had any proof before. When he hit her, he was usually very careful not to leave any marks.
"Christ Jean" I said, "Why the hell didn't you tell us that Tony was abusing you?"
"You were all Tony's friends, before you were mine." She replied, "I didn't know were your loyalties would lie?"
"Bloody Hell Jean, how many times have you heard me say to the kids when they were scrapping, that a gentleman never hits a woman. You should have known that I would have laid Tony out if I knew he had laid a hand on you."
"Well I do now, Phil showed me how a real man reacts when a coward hits a woman, I now know you would do the same, you didn't even threaten violence to Caitlin."
"I've got question for you Jean. Why are you so quick to forgive Caitlin? She was having an affair with your husband."
"Well, after you stormed off last night."
I took the dig without comment.
"Caitlin came back into the house and started to yell at Tony. He told Caitlin she had better shut her mouth or he'd make sure you found out what ES had told him. Caitlin went quiet and it was obvious to me that he was blackmailing her. That's when I really lost my temper with him. Tony lost it and lashed out at me, and then Phil knocked him out."
"ES, are you sure Tony said ES?"
"Definitely and it frightened Caitlin, she clamed up the moment he said it."
"Oh bugger! Tony must have met up with Elaine and she's told Tony something that Caitlin thought would upset me. Shit! Now things make sense. Cait you silly cow, don't you trust me by now?"
"You know what this secret of Caitlin's is then?" Jean asked.
"I afraid I do Jean. Unfortunately it makes this all my fault. I should have told Caitlin I knew years ago. But I never seamed to find the right time, I didn't want Caitlin thinking I was holding it against her. In the end I thought it was best to pretend I didn't know and forget about it. Looks like I got it wrong."
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I arrived back home around twelve, to find Linda had replaced Carla, on Caitlin sitting duties. Caitlin was looking much better and was sat in the lounge. She had made a good effort and looked more like she was going out for the evening, than having and awkward interview with her husband. I think she might have been trying to distract me with her natural beauty. Linda made us a pot of tea and then left us alone to talk.
Caitlin poured the tea and then sat looking at me. I thought there was no point beating around the bush, so I asked.
"OK Cait, you appear to have convinced everyone that Tony blackmailed you into having sex with him. They say you wouldn't tell them what he used to blackmail you, But now your going to have to tell me!"
"I I can't you'll hate me if I tell you. Please I don't want to lose you."
"To be honest Cait. You've already lost me! You shagging Tony is a good enough reason for me to divorce you. Now if you've been forced to shag him, I'm willing to take that into account. But you have got to tell me what Elaine told Tony that you didn't want me to hear."
My mention of Elaine's name gave Caitlin a shock. I saw her physically jump.
"Think about it Cait. You jumped into bed with Tony to stop him telling me something. He could well send me an e-mail or letter to tell me what it was. Then again Elaine could meet someone else and tell them. What are you going to do to keep the next one quiet. Shag them as well?"
