Chapter 7
Amanda
On Thursday evening I walked to Amanda and Rob's apartment and knocked on the door at 6 as instructed by Carol.
She opened the door wearing an apron. Her perfume was fantastic and went directly to pump up my erection. She kissed me on the lips and pulled me through the door, taking my case up the passage to their room saying, "I will just drop it off here for now, come through to the kitchen I am just getting dinner ready."
She had on a short skirt that revealed her lovely legs clad in stockings with seams. The front of my pants was severely restricting an adequate erection. She watched as I tried to hide adjusting myself and smirked. She sat me at the Island in the middle of the kitchen.
Amanda said she was aware in part what had happened with me and Carol. She patted me on the cheek and hugged me from behind. "You poor lovely man" she mumbled with a tear falling slowly down her cheek,. "Rob is a registered scumbag of longstanding but what she wants with him I don't know" she said.
This is new I thought. It's the first time that I have heard her be disloyal to him or criticise him. "Forget the arsehole he is not worth wasting our breath on. Lets just get on with it. We are alone for four days. The children are with my parents and we have the time to ourselves and I intend seducing you and making you feel better about all of this mess. That is if you want me?" she said looking worried and uncomfortable for the first time in the year I have known her.
I sat there with my mouth open as she slowly came round the table like a predator ready to pounce. What a pleasure to be in the sights of such a predator! This was an Amanda I had never seen. As I smiled she kissed me passionately. Wow. I felt her body next to me and felt quite light headed as she continued to kiss me more gently nibbling my lips with her lips and teeth. She felt my erection with her fingertips and laughingly said, "happy to meet you too".
Then all businesslike she said "but we must move on before desert."
I sat there panting. I had to shift awkwardly to make myself comfortable. She laughed. She looked down. "I hope that is for me baby?"
She bent over straight legged as often as she could revealing her stocking tops and on one occasion peeking upside down through her open legs checking to make sure I was checking her out!
This was an Amanda I did not know existed. I was in level 10 lust and we hadn't started anything.
The kitchen had been redone in the last month and was beautiful with all the best of magnificent gleaming understated German ovens and elegant cupboards. The surfaces were granite and all implements stainless steel. It had a sophisticated country kitchen feel however warm and inviting with direct lighting on the surfaces but areas where you could sit without much light in seclusion. It was cosy and intimate. Other than on the direct preparation areas the light was not bright so that looking at Amanda with the current lighting there was a hint of her and suggestions of things being hidden and not quite seen that made her even more sexy.
I was suddenly overcome with guilt and then the whole business with Carol hit the pit of my stomach. I felt faint and light headed. I quickly climbed off the chair and sat on the floor with my head between my legs. I felt waves of grief hit me and I sobbed convulsively.
"I can't handle all of this" I said.
While that was happening I was thinking. What a fool you are. You have an utterly magnificent woman in front of you and you are consumed with guilt. Your wife arranged this; she is a slut of the first degree. You are in a bizarre marriage and now you are stuffing up an opportunity. You want to divorce Carol. Amanda is coming on strong relax and enjoy it.
Amanda was holding me and rocking me squatting next to me. Her perfume hit me as she held me with her head between her soft breasts bursting from her blouse which was open now nearly to her waist.
My guilt seemed to waft away. I must admit I helped the wafting. The perfume seemed to be pumping up my prick with each breath I took. I stood up shakily. My pants pointed North. The penile GPS pointed directly at Amanda.
"Oh my darling, lets sit and eat and talk"
So she sat me at the table. It was a full silver service with cut crystal glasses and candles in silver holders.
This is so nice I thought. This woman is all class. I cannot let her down. I will force myself to eat the meal. Besides little head is very demanding tonight.
After asking her what she knew, she told me that Carol told her I had walked in with her and Rob in bed and was very upset and that I would tell Amanda the rest. Carol asked her to be very gentle in looking after her man but gave her permission to "console me".
I was starting to get annoyed. Manipulative Carol is at work again. Then I thought so what. I am having dinner with a lovely personable intelligent stimulating, sexy, succulent woman what do I have to complain about. I cut my morbid ruminations.
Despite my distress, which I actively dampened down, I enjoyed the meal. We had eaten with Rob and Amanda a number of times and had lovely meals. This meal was up to the best restaurant standard I had ever eaten. It told her with each course how exquisite it was. A different wine accompanied each tasting portion and despite how I felt I mellowed out and told her more than I had told anyone before.
I explained about our marriage and all that I had told Claude, Harriet and Annie.
I then had a deeper insight. "What I had not realised till today was that this whole year watching the emerging relationship with Rob was filled with pain because I had believed we were reaching resolution and could have children. I have wanted children and thought that it was all coming to closure.
"Last year was the best in our marriage despite Carol's father being ill and dying. Her relationship sexually was only with me for a year. I felt that the reserve and self protection that I had was dropping and I could enter that wonderful level of trust and intimacy I felt with her in the first month of our initial relationship before I discovered about her compulsive need to have these constant brief sexual liaisons.
"You know these liaisons prior to Rob are truly weird. When I suggested we move them to our apartment I watched a number of times and listened to try and understand what was in it for her; what was it that I didn't give her? I had resisted watching for some time but the curiosity got to me. What didn't I have?
"The sex seemed pedestrian and not worth watching from the point of view of a voyeur though it sickened me to watch her. I loathe the idea of my beloved wife with another man; I always have and always will. I ask myself every day why I got into it and stayed with it.
"What followed however in each case at some time or another was she would ask them like in an interview about themselves their lives and relationships almost as if she was looking for something. I asked her about it a number of times and she said she was seeking a match of some type did not know what it was but would recognise it when she found it.
"Rob is the first person she has had an extended relationship with to the degree I would call it an affaire. When I asked her about it starting she reassured me about him saying I had nothing to worry about emotionally. She liked him but he was not her kind of guy. Her behaviour was different as time progressed.
"After 2 months she said she wanted to see if she learned more when it went on longer. They went on conferences and seminars together and spent extra time together as well. As the year went on I felt more and more anxious. Each time they went away I felt sick with the fear I was losing her. She kept reassuring me that she still loved me but was exploring something with Rob and felt she was onto something. I could never find out what.
She started to be more affectionate to him when we were all together. This made me even more anxious. You never seemed to worry about it Amanda?"
She replied with a half smile, "I have had less and less respect for him over the course of our marriage and I am coming to loathe him. I married to have one man. I have emotionally detached from him progressively. I am rapidly reaching the situation that I will want out. It's not been bad with him but I am tired of his constant affairs and flaky approach to his work. He is a great father to the children and they love him. I love this apartment and its been hard to make the final step, but it is close.
"Rob you may not wish to hear this but I know you love me. Carol has told me and I have felt it for some time. Carol approached me 4 months ago and asked me if I loved you too. Whew that woman of yours is direct. I was nonplussed. I said I would think about it and get back to her.
"When I saw her a week later I asked her why she asked me if I loved you. She said something quite enigmatic. She said that she didn't know why she was not worrying about a woman who could love you. She said she didn't mind in the past you having sex with another woman but she had been wildly jealous in the past of anyone with whom you might fall in love. She also said she could not understand what she was doing with Rob as he was not her type and she was spending so much time with him. She also said that she thought I was not in love with Rob. She said she thought I loathed him. She is one smart cookie.
"I admitted that I both loved and was in love with you. Carol said we would be good together. She said she constantly worried about losing you to her bizarre lifestyle but couldn't live without you. I asked her then what the hell she was doing with a turkey like Rob. She replied that she didn't know.
"She has to be the most confusing woman I have ever met" said Amanda." She paused and held my hand tightly.
"She is screwing my husband. At the same time she is a great friend of mine. She told me of the affaire at the beginning and even asked my permission. She declares her love of him. She upsets you and sends you my way.
I admit I did offer to have you here this weekend but she thought it was a great idea. She said something like this can work out. When I asked what she meant, she said she didn't know and could not explain it to me or herself. Then she blew my mind telling me what you liked sexually. So why she is doing this I do not know. But you know I don't care. I am going to enjoy this time with you. I am going to love you and look after you and comfort and cuddle you. I have never been forward like this with any man but I hope that you don't reject me."
I thought to myself, why me? I am not tall, not handsome and here I have this stunning woman offering herself. Carol was way out of my league. Women have always liked me. Really people have always liked me. At school I did well academically and played a lot of sport at a reasonable level. I had good friends who were stable happy people and I still see most of them. I had good male and female friends. Most of my relationships with women were at their instigation as I was shy, but I had good relationships with women who were loyal and honest till Carol. Well she is honest and she is loyal but screws around. I had no doubt Carol would be prepared to give her life for me. I do not understand it but I feel it. Enough of these thoughts. Amanda is here and I will live in the now. Cut the worrying.
