What have I done?
Octavia sat at her desk obsessing about the confusing, erotic sex she'd had with her husband the night before. She'd orgasmed multiple times imaging her ex, Liam, fucking her as her husband did, but then, when she climaxed again, she'd screamed out Liam's name in front of her husband, and to her surprise, it'd made him erupt with cum.
Neither of them had spoken a word to each other afterward and had fallen asleep. Russell woke up and left for work before her alarm went off, so now she sat at her desk considering whether or not to text him or to leave it. Every five minutes she checked her phone to see if she had a message notification from him. So far, nothing.
"Oh my god, this is so stressful. Okay," Octavia tried to fortify her mind, telling herself that it was nothing and that their relationship was okay. It was just one little slip up, and besides, he came right?
Just then, she received a text.
"Hey babe, hope you're having a good morning. Last night was amazing. Dinner, watching the documentary with you, and of course our amazing sex. Can't wait to see you tonight." - Russell.
What the hell did this mean? She thought. He wasn't acknowledging the elephant in the room. He knew that she'd dated Liam in college and that it was one of her first long-term relationships. He'd recognize that name, and yet, he's said nothing. Is he avoiding it?
"Octavia, could you send me the schedule for the event by noon? That'd be great, thanks!" A bubbly office worker said as she popped into Octavia's office doorway and left just as quickly.
Octavia didn't have the chance to respond, stood up, walked over to her office door and closed it.
"Okay," she said, "how do I respond?"
She must have typed out a hundred texts and deleted them before she settled on a response:
"Hey babe! I hope you're having a good morning too. Last night WAS amazing! You make the best ramen. I can't wait to see you too!" - Octavia
She figured she'd leave the "amazingness" of the night ambiguous. But then, he did mention how good the sex was! Argh, this is so frustrating, she thought. She sent the message despite regretting it. She wasn't going to come up with a better text anyway.
Octavia put her phone down and got to work on her bullshit job that required little to no effort.
***
Turn the hot knob on just a bit, and then maybe a little cold if it gets to be too much, Octavia thinks as she slips into the porcelain bathtub. Her almost-filled-to-the-brim wine glass sits on the edge of the tub, along with her phone, as she drops in a bath bomb and gets comfortable. The gurgling water sets her mind at ease as she floats into a thoughtlessness bliss.
Last night's turmoil is still present in her mind, but she is trying to block it out by relaxing. She breathes in the hot steam and feels the simmering water against her skin in an attempt to numb her fears about the sex with her husband the night before.
You absolutely loved it, but you're afraid to admit it.
The fucking voice is back, she thinks, but exhales and takes a large gulp of her cabernet. Then, her phone vibrates on the side of the bathtub. She turns her head and picks it up as bubble castles start to form around her body from the filling water.
It's from her husband, Russell.
"Hey baby, hope you're enjoying your bath. Thinking about your sexy body and our amazing sex last night. Hehe."
What do I say? She thinks.
"I am. It's so relaxing. Hehe, thanks for thinking I'm sexy..."
Do I ask why the sex was so amazing? He's said it twice now, she thinks. She adds:
"...it was amazing. Hehe. Tell me why you liked it so much." She adds a devil emoji for tone.
Dots appear on her screen, showing that he is typing. Anxiety cripples Octavia's body so much that she can't deal with it and reaches for her wine glass. She gulps more down and spills a little on her tits.
"Ah, shit," she says instinctively, when the chime of a new text message rings from her phone.
"I just think it was hot that you were being dirty and thinking of past lovers." With a winky face added.
Oh my god.
Guilt floods Octavia's body as she considers whether he is being facetious or not. There's no way. Maybe he really did think it was hot? No. It can't be. Octavia's mind is racing as she considers her response.