My sweet loving husband arrived home from the pub and he was in a foul mood. Fair enough. If he wants to be in a foul mood he's allowed to be I guess, but I sure wasn't going to have him taking his mood out on me. After the third or fourth little dig I had a go at him.
"What the fuck's wrong with you?" I snapped. "Whatever it is, unless it directly concerns me, don't take it out on me."
"It's Jacko. He was down at the pub boasting he's slept with every single woman in our street."
"Might I point out that there aren't many single women on this street? Most of us are married. Who's Jacko, anyway?"
"Jacko! You know Jacko!"
"If you say so," I said giving him a dubious look.
"He's the frigging postman. How could you not know him?"
"Oh, Postie. Of course I know him. Everyone does. Never stops talking and always says hullo to everyone. I just never knew what his name was."
"Well," Phil said in a very demanding voice.
"Well what?" I demanded in turn.
"Have you slept with him or not?"
I gave Phil the evil eye.
"Who I may, or may not, have slept with before I met you is none of your business. We agreed when we got engaged that we wouldn't discuss past lovers. Of course, if you want to change that now there are a few questions I'd like to ask regarding your relationship with my little sister before we started dating."
He almost crashed into himself he changed the subject so fast. Then he departed to go and watch the tellie while I went about making dinner. What he didn't know was that I knew my little sister and one of the things I knew was that she was a bit of a tramp, sleeping with all her boyfriends, and Phil had been no exception.
While I prepared dinner I thought about Postie and when I got to really know him. I'd run out of eggs and instead of running down the street to get some I decided to borrow a couple off Jan. I went next door and strolled up the path to Jan's front veranda. A veranda, I will note, that is basically hidden from the street by some large bushes in front of it.
I came to an abrupt halt just before I stepped onto the veranda. From where I was I could see both Jan and Postie. Jan was bent over the small veranda table, her skirt hitched up around her waist and her panties tangled around one ankle. Postie's trousers were around his ankles and his hairy bottom was on display. (Not a bad bottom for a man, I had to admit.)
What was also on display from where I stood was his erection, and again I had to admit it wasn't a bad one. Okay, quite a good one, long and fat and at the current moment very busy, sliding in and out of Jan with great fervour.