"Hey, Joe, come on in. Everyone's left except Ronnie. Yes, yes, she's fine. A little worn out maybe, but just fine. To tell you the truth, we had some wine before we started. Yeah, I know it was early in the day but we all wanted something to take the edge off. We've been drinking martinis ever since. Right now I'd say she's feeling no pain, of any kind. Come with me. She's in the family room. Can I get you anything to drink? Beer it is.
"Hey, Ronnie, Joe's here. I'm going to set him up with a beer and then leave you two alone. If you want you can leave without letting us know. Billy and I'll be upstairs. Of course, get us if you need anything. In the mean time, the first floor is yours. Take what you want. Do what you want, for as long as you want."
Joe came into the family room expecting to see his wife disheveled, her hair, make up and clothing in total disarray. Instead he found her as he would on any Sunday afternoon, jeans, shirt and sneakers. There was something different though, she had a glow about her and was sitting in a totally relaxed pose, a leg pulled underneath her on the couch. Leaning back with her drink she had a warm smile on her face that could have been the result of having just fucked six guys all afternoon long, the alcohol, or both.
He had dreaded returning to Billy and Jill's to pick her up. The afternoon would change the dynamics of their marriage or end it. The gangbang was a huge gamble for them but the alternative was worse. They were becoming estranged and unless something changed there would be a separation or divorce. If that happened it would be complicated; kids were involved. To avoid that they were highly motivated to change the direction of their marriage. Certainly, Ronnie being gangbanged would force a change but it would not have been his choice for a catalyst. He acknowledged he was partially to blame for her insisting she do it. He had recently been in two himself. Perhaps she wanted to level the playing field before seeking remedies to their downward spiral.
When Ronnie found out Joe had gangbanged Jill she was mad at him and herself, not for his infidelity and Jill's wantonness, but for him having acted on his fantasy before she acted on hers [she had fantasized being in a gangbang, too]. Her cool reception to his fucking someone else was more the result of her having had a brief affair with Billy than being betrayed. Neither spouse knew about the affair. It was a brief fling two years ago. In fact, no one knew of it. Sparked more by circumstances [both were drunk at the time] than attraction at one of the countless parties the couples attended, their familiarity with each other let curiosity run its course. They had met several times after to explore if there was a relationship in the offing and play out the excitement of having sex with someone other than their spouses. The element of danger from being found out added to the passion and lust they felt. It was rewarding and pleasurable but ultimately not life altering. They remain friends and successfully hid their indiscretion from others ever since.
[Well, that's not completely true. Ronnie had lashed out at Joe during a particularly hurtful row and told him she had slept with one of his friends but refused to say who. Joe was unsure then and now if it was true or an attempt to hurt him during their argument.]
Ronnie had used Jill's gangbangs as leverage to have her own. Joe went along with it [primarily out of guilt] but was made so uncomfortable with the idea that he chose not to join in. As they discussed it [more and more] Joe concluded that her motivation was more a need to pay him back for his infidelity than anything else. [He got it wrong.] This realization more than anything else convinced him to go along with her plans.
So, here he was, sitting across from his wife struggling to find an opening line that wasn't judgmental or threatening. He went with something innocuous, "Hi, sweetheart. Everything okay?"
Taking a sip of her drink to give herself time to frame a response, she said, "Just fine. Thanks for asking." As soon as the words left her mouth she realized they were too formal and didn't convey her true feelings. She tried, again. "I'm sorry, Joe. That's the alcohol talking. It's not what I want to say nor the way I want to say it.
"Physically, I feel fine. I used so much lube and with all the fluids I'm not even raw. My muscles are sore from over work, but it's a good sore. The kind you get after a really hard workout. I'm guess it's the lingering effects of all those endorphins. No one abused me although some were pretty rough, but that's the way I wanted it. But, I am sexually exhausted. I think 'satiated' is the word.
"There are so many things I'm feeling right now it's hard to sort them all out but first and foremost you need to know I'm very much in love with you. One of the many reasons I love you is your letting me do this. I kind of forced this on you for spite and for that I'm sorry [That's not the real reason but she chose it knowing it would be well received by Joe.]. But, oh, my God! Having done it I now realize that there is more out there than I could have imagined. Oh, sure, you read about this stuff and listen to others talk about it but never really take it serious. Not longer. For me, it's wonderful and I want it to be a part of my life. The question is, can you live with that? No, wait! Before you answer that there are other things I have to say.
"My greatest fear is to lose my youth and prime without having achieved anything, without having done anything. When I'm in my fifties and older I need to be able to say that I lived life to its fullest with every intent of continuing to do so. This afternoon is a step in that direction. Yeah, I know raising our kids to be good and stable people is a wonderful accomplishment but doing that uses so little of me. Oh, don't get me wrong. Raising a family is hard work but to do it successfully requires using only a small subset if my abilities and satisfies only a small subset of my needs. What about the rest? When I reach late middle age I don't want my life to solely revolve around my family. I need and want more.
"Am I alright? I feel more alive right now than I ever have. Oh, my God, it's like being on a natural high. It's hard, maybe impossible for a woman to convey to a man the feelings and sensations she experiences when having good sex. If you have even the faintest idea of what that means then a woman having sex with a number of men and losing herself in a frenzy of involuntary responses is beyond your understanding. It is so satisfying, so enjoyable and so fulfilling that having now experienced it the only thing that could compare is doing it or something like it, again. I'm not talking an addiction here, nor am I saying that all sex must be this intense and sustained. Honestly, I don't think I have the physical or emotional stamina to fuck like this more than once in a while. But, knowing now what the rewards are I want to feel that intensity, again. And, can you imagine what it would be like with really talented men? Well, of course you can't. I don't even think I can but I'd give anything to find out.
"As important as this is the bigger issue right now is you and our marriage. Can my realization and pursuit of sexual fulfillment co-exist with you in a committed relationship? I don't know. I think it can. I hope it can, but I don't know about you. How do you feel about all this? What do you want?"
Joe didn't know what to say. Clearly, Ronnie was reacting differently to her gangbang than he did to his with Jill. It seems that she would have to given the different levels of involvement and fundamental differences between men and women. If it were a perfect world though, he would want her to say she was glad she had finally had the experience but didn't care to do it again anytime soon, if ever.
Well, it wasn't a perfect world and he was staring at the prospects of this and God knows what all else becoming a staple of their marriage. "What are we talking about here? Are you saying you want an open marriage, you want to become a 'hot wife,' you want us to become swingers, become a slut and fuck anyone and everyone you want whenever you want, become a whore, or do you just want to cuckold me? Just what kind of marriage are you proposing?"
"What I don't want is you cheating on me. Although I understand it, you fucking Jill at her gangbangs without me hearing about it from you was a betrayal. You cheated me from being involved with an important part of you. Of course, maybe you've done it so often that it didn't seem important to you."
"Are you starting an argument or avoiding my question?"
"That's fair. I guess I want it both ways but we should limit this to answering your question. We can save the rest for later. The short answer is, I don't know. Well, that's not entirely true, I have no interest in cuckolding you. That's not who I am. It's not who you are so let's take that off the table. I guess for me it comes down to you fucking someone else and how I feel about that. Are you sure you don't want to answer that for yourself, first?
"No, huh? Well, let me start by saying that because I love you and have kids with you my hope is to remain married to you, but not to the exclusion of everything else. I don't see myself becoming a slut running around after men, either. What I do see is that occasionally a situation may arise that I feel comfortable with that may offer the potential for some really great sex. When it does I want to be able to act on it without having one of these soul-searching discussions about it. In short, I want to be trusted to be discrete and not put myself in positions that could harm you or me."
