Only in a Dream

To those of you who commented about the length of my story. I am new to this, and I apologize for the epic that it was. I just started writing what was in my head and got carried away.

I have gone through and removed a lot that I thought was irrelevant. I was actually trying to make it longer, because I thought it wouldn't be long enough. I wanted readers to try and get to know Brad on a personal level and I went a little overboard.

In the first couple of chapters, I try to paint a picture of who Brad is and how he met Kathy. Some of the events, or memories of his come to play and will make more sense later in the story. I wanted to show what happened to lead up to the thoughts in Brad's head, and how they follow into the main theme of the story (the journal).

Please don't make judgments of any of the characters until reading the entire story. Which is complete and later chapters will be posted after some minor edits.

This time, I am dividing it into 8 (as far as I can tell) chapters. I wasn't sure of how long the story would actually be, once put on the site. One of the comments that I read from an author on a different story wrote that he had typed out six pages, and then his story was only about one and a half on the site, so I had that in mind. . . Sorry.

I tried to keep the paragraphs short to make it easier to read. In the later chapters, I didn't necessarily follow that rule for the journal, in an effort to make it more authentic. However, there are lines between pages to break up the monotony.

This story is a conglomeration of situations and people I have known throughout my life. Some facts mixed with some twists and turns to the actual stories, for instance, Brad's accident happened to one of the people in this group, but not actually him. However, the events surrounding the love story between him and Kathy are real(although their names, for the purpose of this story, aren't). Their sex life, I haven't a clue, so you can draw your own conclusions about that. I chose them as the main characters of this story because they've been married for 35 years and have a very strong bond. I know them well enough to know that neither one would ever stray. But, that's what makes for a good story isn't it? The wife who would never cheat. I put myself into Brad's shoes with his father, the fishing trips and his (actually my) grandpa and grandson.

Every character is a real person. I tried to incorporate as many personality traits of them as I could. Most of the situations are real and some not. Or the events that actually happened to one character may be used for another (as is Brad's accident).

The story is completely fictional, but Tina and Todd's situations are mostly real. Todd was just a jerk I knew in high school that worked with Kathy. He DID try his best to get into her pants, and just about every half way cute female he has ever come in contact with.

I got the idea for this story and wrote it for a distraction over the last month of this winter, with no real intent to put it on here. But, after I got started, my wife insisted. The journal was originally written in third person, but after re-reading it a couple of times, I decided to change it to first person and added the dates and the lines to represent different pages.

I've got some more story ideas emanating in my head from this same group of people, I just wanted to see how this turned out.

I will turn on the comments after the last chapter, because I feel the whole story needs to be read to connect everything. Again, I apologize for the length.

God is mentioned a few times, so be forewarned. . .

There is no sex until later in the story.

July 27, 2013.

Brad sat in the Jeep motionless, staring hopelessly at the grey dashboard of the Grand Cherokee. The color suited his frame of mind perfectly, he had driven the thirty miles up to Goose Lake, his thoughts wandering somewhere in a grey fog.

Although it was July, the threat of rain had ushered in some cooler air, the looming clouds in the sky fit his mood in every respect. He wanted nothing more than to just return home, and go back to bed. His heart was aching, his head spinning and he didn't want to be here, but he'd been promising to bring his grandson, Dustin, up here fishing for a few months now.

The small town in southern Ohio that they called home, had only a handful of lakes and ponds nearby where fishing was allowed. Those bodies of water were all over fished and under stocked, not much excitement for a fifteen year old boy. Just about all of the places Bradley used to fish when he was younger, were now private property and off limits. Too many sue happy people out for a quick buck had pretty much ruined it for everyone else.

Even the old gravel pit located right in the middle of town, where Brad had spent countless hours and had some of the best times of his life, was posted with 'NO TRESPASSING' signs. And the local police enforced it vigorously. The pit hadn't pumped gravel, or been in business since the early 1950's, and at one time, it had a public beach/swimming area. 'Lake Sun and Fun' was the name of the swimming area, and that's what the pit was now called by most residents of this small Ohio town.

From the late 1950's, up until about 1970, new home construction in the area had exploded. The lake was now about three quarters of the way surrounded by houses. Back in those times, the residents living there didn't mind people fishing, as long as they didn't damage anything, or leave trash lying around everywhere. They would keep an eye out to make sure that the children who would come to fish here were safe. Sometimes, the elderly residents would even bring out refreshments for the youngsters.

How the world has changed. . . .

The side of the lake along the main road heading out of town wasn't developed until the 1980's. Several restaurants and businesses had located in this area as the small town expanded out past the old gravel pit.

Of course fishing was allowed for the residents, or if you're their guest. But, other than that, there was only one small spot on the entire lake where anyone was allowed to fish. Behind the Hardee's restaurant, there was a picnic table for customers to sit and eat by the lake, plus a large sign that read: FISH AT YOUR OWN RISK. There was only about thirty feet of shore line, with a copious amount of trees and brush to get your line snagged on. Not really a kid friendly fishing spot.

********

Bradley Wilbur was fifty five years old, married and the father of four children. Two boys, two girls, and there were ten grandchildren between them all, plus, there was another one on the way.

After thirty eight years in the workforce, thirty spent at his last job, he could no longer work. Brad's body was broken down and more like that of an eighty year old man. He had not worked for just short of four years now. Brad had been involved in a very serious automobile accident back in the late 1970's. The long term effects of his injuries and thirty years of the duties he had to perform at work had finally caught up with him.

------------------

34 years 10 months earlier ... Sept, 1978.

The accident left Bradley with shattered left leg, a concussion and several missing teeth. Ironically, the LACK of a seat belt had saved his life. His body had been thrown partially out of the window, avoiding the steering wheel, that was pushed firmly into the driver's seat. It would have surely crushed his chest.

Upon arrival at the hospital, his leg was too bruised for surgery, so he was kept sandbagged and in an induced coma for two weeks. Followed by six weeks in traction. Brad was sent home in a body (one and a half hip spica) cast. He had to be transported by ambulance, it took three EMT's to carry him inside. They had to him sideways to get him through the front door, then through the doorway into the bedroom. Brad's step father took a photo of this operation, so he now has a permanent reminder of the occasion. Brad was bedridden in the cast for five weeks, it was something he would remember for the rest of his life and never wanting to repeat ever again.

When he came back to the hospital to get the cast removed, thinking that his ordeal was finally about over, he was told some grim news. The bone specialist explained to Brad that the X-rays showed, for some unknown reason, his femur didn't heal at the proper angle and would require corrective surgery. The surgery would involve the re-breaking of his leg and was scheduled for the following week.

Three weeks after the surgery, Brad left the hospital on crutches, with two steel plates and twenty nine screws holding his leg together. He had to go through extensive therapy to be able to walk again. Five months after he was released from the hospital, the doctor released him to go back to work.

It had been nine months since the accident, but it had seemed like a lifetime to Brad. He was excited, to return to the living, as he called it, and couldn't wait to get back. Brad returned to his job as an auto mechanic a few days later.

Two weeks after his return to work, he started a new job, with much higher pay and benefits.

He would work this new job for the next thirty years.

------------------

Fast forward 31 years ... June 2010.

It had been just short of nine months since he spent the final day at the job he'd spent most of his life at, Brad sat in his recliner thinking about his life. When you have nothing to do, or when your body just plain refuses to let you do anything productive, you have a lot of time to reflect back on things. Brad sat and thought about the past, his work, and how he wished the auto accident had never happened.

"How did I get here to. . . To this moment?" he pondered.

For several years now, Brad's doctor had been advising him to stop working, but he was too stubborn to quit.

Brad shifted uncomfortably in the chair as he thought about all that had happened. He felt like the rug had been pulled out from under him and there was nothing he could do to put it back. Life had been good, he had a good paying job and a beautiful, loving wife. They had raised three wonderful children together.

He had so many projects that he loved tinkering with, so many more he'd planned to start in the future.

"What the hell happened?" he thought.

Brad had achieved more in his life than he ever thought possible. His grandma's advice had rung true. . .

"If you take your time, work hard and be responsible with your money, don't overspend on things you don't need until you're sure you can afford them, you'll be able to live the life you want. Just remember, it will take time."

She was right.

Brad had worked feeling the way he did for so long, he really just considered it uncomfortable, rather than pain. In fact if he would have awoken one day without hurting, then he would probably worry that something was wrong.

The prognosis after his accident had inspired him and made him more determined to forge ahead. Almost like he had to prove to himself, that this wasn't going to keep him from living the life he'd always planned on.

The plant's closing didn't affect him near as much as when he finally came to the realization, just how bad he really felt. He had been pushing himself for so long, his brain hadn't figured out that his body just wasn't cooperating anymore.

The notice of the plant closing had come about a year in advance.

The company had given employees a chance to opt out, leave early and still receive their severance pay. A lot of people, mostly the younger workers, left, trying to get the jump on everybody else looking for other jobs. Most of the 'old timers' stayed on, including Brad. He wanted to at least make it to his thirtieth anniversary with the company.

The plant closed three months after he reached his thirty year anniversary. He made it.

"How could things have changed this quickly? I don't want to be retired, I'm too young, I have so much more that I want to do with my life," he thought.

"It sure is funny how things work out," Brad whispered to himself.

He thought about how he had always wanted more time to spend on his endeavors, now he had all the time in the world, but didn't really feel like doing anything.

Before sitting back down, he walked over and turned on the Music Choice channel on the cable box to 70's rock. Hearing music from earlier times in his life was comforting to Brad. Most of the music was associated with happier times, certain songs could bring back vivid memories from those times. But, unfortunately, some songs brought back sad memories too.

He thought it funny, how he could remember the slightest little details from almost fifty years ago, but couldn't remember what had happened yesterday.

********

Brad wasn't real keen on the idea of getting a government check. Everything that his wife and he had acquired, had come from their hard work. The house; the old cars that he toyed around with; the new cars; all of the tools; the bass boat.

Everything.

He and Kathy had never taken handouts, it reminded him of a line from the old Charlie Daniels song, Long Haired Country Boy,

"I ain't askin nobody fer nothin, if I cain't get it on my own. . . If you don't like the way I'm livin. . . You just leave this long haired country boy alone."

It did give him some solace tho, that he'd paid in, paid a lot, into the system that he would now be drawing from. Unlike so many people that he knew, who were perfectly healthy, had worked only a few low paying jobs, or never worked at all. All the while, receiving some form of government assistance for their entire adult lives. Yet, these people all seemed to be able to live as well, or in some cases, better than Brad and his wife had. They were experts at gaming the system.

"Do these people have no shame?" he thought.

Sad part was, a lot of them were relatives, he knew that their parents had taught them different, but it didn't matter to them, they felt entitled.

What really bothered Brad was, he wanted to earn his keep, but he couldn't anymore. Thinking about this, it really affected him, he now felt like only half of a man.

Brad and his wife, Kathy had refinanced the house and the second mortgage together at a lower interest rate several years earlier. This lowered their house payment to almost half, and they would have to make a house payment for a few years longer, but would save over a hundred thousand dollars in the end. They had just a few years left to pay, and the new car had only a short time left on the lease.

When the lease was up, they just turned in the car, then used some of Brad's severance pay to pay cash for a used Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Things would be tight for a while, but Brad and Kathy would make out OK.

********

Brad sat and thought about how he wished he felt like working on a project around the house again. As he wiggled around and made himself comfortable, he glanced over at the pictures sitting on the shelf above the television. His eyes focused on the photo of his mother and stepfather that was sitting there. . .

********

Sad thoughts came into Brad's head as he remembered the emotional trauma that he had endured as a child. What haunted him the most was how his mother had suffered. She had been married for only a little over two years and was pregnant with her first child, when her husband was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

Brad came into the world, with his mother and father having the knowledge that, his father would not survive to see their son grow into a man, or even a toddler for that matter. Brad's father died when he was just a few months old.

There were complications when his mother was born and she had gone without oxygen for for a spell, and then she had been sickened with scarlet fever when she was a child of six. She suffered a few mental health issues as a result of these two instances. She had a mild learning disability and was extremely backwards and shy, especially around people of the opposite sex.

When Brad's father came to call on her, he saw an angel and fell in love with her quickly, he absolutely adored her. She fell for him quickly too and was on cloud nine. No other man had ever really taken an interest in her.

After his death, she went into a severe depression, it clearly showed in before and after photos of her. She was not recognizable as the same woman, she looked ten years older, and her happy, go lucky presence was gone.

Brad's mother and he, then went to live with his grandparents. After about a year, his mother found a full time job in a nursing home, so in effect, grandma and grandpa became his surrogate parents.

Brad's mother was the younger of two girls. Grandma had also given birth to a son, but he only lived for three days. After things turned out as they had, grandma's younger sister told her,

"God works in mysterious ways, a tragedy took away your son, now through another tragedy, he has given you the chance to raise another."

Grandma and grandpa did raise him as their own. Instilling their belief in God, their values, and work ethic. It was for this reason that Brad seemed to be older than most other children his own age. He seemed to have a more mature outlook and a clearer sense of right and wrong than they did. It was also one of the reasons he was taunted and bullied as much as he was. Of course, being so small and skinny had a lot to do with that too.

As a toddler, he didn't know why his mother was always lying in bed, crying all of the time. He would hug her, try to comfort her and wipe her tears away. When he was old enough to understand, he was sad and couldn't discern why his daddy had been taken away from his mommy and him.

Holidays always seemed to be the worst, mom would try to put on a brave face, but ultimately, she would end up in bed for several days. This really affected Brad, and it continued until he was in his teens.

As Brad remembered those times, he felt tears welling up in his eyes. Over the years, still to this day, he had tried to avoid any and all thoughts from that time in his life. There were times, when certain events or situations would remind him and he would have to go off by himself to be alone for a few moments to collect himself. He didn't cry for himself, he cried for his mother.

Several men had come to call on mom through the years, but grandpa always scoped them out pretty good. He knew that some of these men wanted to take advantage of her vulnerable state of mind.

The few she did go out with, were chaperoned by Brad. A child has a way of keeping the horn dogs at bay.

"Any man needs to know up front, that she has a child that is a part of the package," grandpa always said.

Brad always considered his grandparents as his mom and dad, his mom took on more of a role as a big sister. He even called grandpa daddy and grandma mom, because that's what his mother and her sister's called them. His mother was mommy.

Grandma and grandpa made all of the major decisions, but mom doted on him and showered him with love and affection like any mother would.

When Brad was thirteen, his mother met a nice hardworking, Christian man and they were married the following year. Brad decided to stay at his grandparents home after their marriage.

His mom was a little sad, but she understood, he'd lived there for his whole life, short of a few months.

His mother and her new husband set up house about six blocks from grandpa and grandma's. They furnished a bedroom for Brad, just in case he ever changed his mind.

********

Brad got up and walked out into the back yard, he looked up at the trees he had planted fifteen years before, they had grown nicely to about twenty five or thirty feet tall now. He walked along under the trees, next to the path that the rain took as it meandered down the small grade out towards the street. As he strolled along, he thought about the model trains that he used to be so into. The model RR that he had at his grandma's house when he was a teenager, took up almost an entire small bedroom. He dreamed of the model railroad he was going to build when he became an adult and had his own place.