(Please read part one first – Jodi's Therapy)
Jodi had come over for her Monday session and wanted me to help analyse what happened on the night of the club.
"They just took complete control over me, doctor. I felt as if I had absolutely no control ... although of course I knew I did." Jodi said, her neck flushed and her chest heaving. I had tried to get her to lie on my couch but she just sat straight up again to look directly at me as she continued. She was in one of her most ebullient moods. As usual she looked absolutely stunning. "It wasn't that I did not consent. It was like I was given no opportunity to refuse. When they held me on the couch, I could barely move and it didn't help that I was completely drunk. I couldn't do anything."
I remembered how she had let them use her, Chris had been kissing her and Bruno almost made her cum with his fingers while she just writhed and moaned herself towards orgasm. Then she had gone into sexual orbit when Bruno went down on her. I was pretty sure that resistance was the last thing on her mind. Looking back on it, she had let sense leave her well before they even got back to the house; she was putty in their hands on the dance floor and completely participating in being ravished in the car. When girls are drunk and horny it must be very hard for them to say no, when there is some guy rubbing your breasts and pussy while kissing you.
"Chris was kissing me and ravishing my breasts. It was so hot and I remember I felt so tense, I almost couldn't breathe and I was being more and more turned on. When Bruno went down on me, like I completely lost it and had one of the most amazing orgasms, one that you only ever dream about. While I was cumming I knew that I was actively involved and that it was me that was arousing these guys. If they had've given me the chance I probably would have fucked them both anyway. But they just took over and once I had cum Bruno just started fucking me so forcefully, I had absolutely no chance to object. I also couldn't even believe how vocal I was. I was crying out and sometimes even begging them to fuck me. I heard a girl's excited voice crying out in orgasm and I realised that the sounds were coming from me. It was like totally surreal." Jodi was actually looking aroused as she was recounting the episode in our usual therapy session. She had a kind of wild look in her eye that I had not seen before, like a little sensual spark that had somehow been ignited.
"What do you think it means?" I asked. "Was it just you, feeling uninhibited for the first time?"
"It was more than that." She continued, shaking her stylishly ratty blonde hair around her beautiful face, her lips pouting into a provocative expression. "Now I can't stop thinking about it and I look at every man in a sexual way. I think about their cocks – in my mouth. What have I become, Doctor? How have you done this to me?" She put her head in her hands and was shaking slightly. I put my arm around her small shoulders to comfort her.
I could not believe how worked up she was. She was sort of chanting out this stuff, like it was half self-blame and half self-satisfaction. I had to remind myself of the borderline personality disorder she probably suffered from and that she was in a hyper anxious state. Somehow I had to put her behaviour into a context she would understand.
"All I have done is to bring out an aspect of your personality that you were not aware existed. All women have a sensual side that they love to have enlivened. To orgasm, a woman has to completely let go, let go of her own control and let the feelings takeover. Women who are naturally sensual, as you are, are highly sensitive to the feelings of others. You are simply seeing men as they see you, as a highly sensual creature capable of extraordinarily erotic experiences. I feel very proud of you for allowing me to help you explore yourself. Please do not feel guilty, you have done nothing wrong." There was something else I needed to add, something to draw her away from self-loathing. So I thought for a moment, squeezed her shoulders and then I said, "I let you get drunk and uninhibited and I felt that you liked the attention Chris and Bruno gave, it was my fault more than yours and I was the one in control. Blame me! Let me take you back to where you began, if you like." This was really a lie. The reality was that I had no idea how to do that, even if I had wanted to.
Jodi actually gasped. "I can't!" She said, she looked away in thought. "No, I think its me now."
She had started off the therapy session fairly aggressively but then mellowed slightly and I saw that she felt a little lost and confused. This was our first therapy session after our night out clubbing. Jodi, with my blessings, had got us invited to a small party after the club which turned out to be a threesome between Jody and two guys. As I finally put her to bed at about 5 a.m. she had sucked me off, which she had not mentioned. It was as if, after months of therapy, that the dam wall had broken and that Jodi just let herself go sexually for that one night, in a drunken stupor. It was difficult to see where this was going. Had I triggered something in her that had never existed? Or had I just set something free?
"Have you ever had these sorts of feelings before? Feeling sort of wanton?" I asked.
"Yes, when I was at university at a couple of parties and sometimes guys would get me drunk and feel me up." Jodi answered. "It always got me like totally hot and turned on; but they try to do that to all the girls don't they? Some guys even tried to fuck me while I was asleep and once I pretended to stay asleep just to see what it would feel like. After he fucked me for awhile I got so turned on by the whole naughtiness of it, because my eyes were closed and everything, that I orgasmed and then he knew I was awake. He told me that I was a slut and that I loved being used like a whore, then he fucked me again. I couldn't stop orgasming though. Maybe his dirty words helped, or maybe it was just because I realised he was good looking." She looked down and I could see that the memory was painful and was hurting.
"It was not your fault, Jodi. He started raping you." I responded and hugged her again. "Women's vaginas just react like that, they lubricate, to protect you from harm as a woman. Look at it like rape-protection. The orgasm itself is involuntary, you know, there is nothing you can do if the stimulation is right. It really is not your fault. The guy was an arsehole and he should really have been begging your forgiveness."
"Thank you, doctor." She said, planting wet kiss on my cheek, taking me by surprise. She even seemed to be seeking my lips. "You always make me feel better."
Yet, hearing Jodi speak so candidly of her sexual history had me a little on edge, obviously the alcohol on the night had helped to bring out her natural promiscuity. I wondered if all young women are naturally promiscuous, if given the opportunity to explore their feelings without guilt. I stood and put my hand on her shoulder consolingly and went back to my chair, a metre or so from her couch. In a fashionable attempt to completely disarm me, she was dressed in the shortest silk clubbing shorts and a tiny tank top with long arm holes that didn't almost nothing towards covering up her perfectly pert 34Cs. She was very animated and kept waving our hands around and crossing and re-crossing her legs, which seemed to draw attention to that natural focal point, the taut material between her thighs, tightly wrapped around her vulva. The perfect camel-toe, I mused to myself when I caught a glimpse. Her flashing blue eyes, perfect teeth and her delicious pink lips were equally distracting. She was only 5 foot 3 but shit, she had personal presence in her new-found sensuality. I almost always got an erection when I saw her, she was unbelievably hot. I remember thinking that this 'Jodi finds her sensual self' theme that was developing was like a perverted version of My Fair Lady. A decidedly unprofessional voice in my head was telling me to pounce on her and fuck her. I decided to change tack.
"How is your love life with your husband?" I asked. Jodi had missed the first Monday's session following the Friday that we went out. So I had not seen her for about 10 days. A lot can happen in that time.
"This is a little embarrassing," she began, "I think I have been over compensating, for you know, my behaviour; no, my unfaithfulness. Like I have made sure I have been wearing the sexiest lingerie when he comes home from work and I always try to have some cool music on that I can dance to. I read it in Cosmo. So he comes in and sees me dancing in sexy lingerie every night. When he comes up to me I reach for his cock and ask if he wants some relief or a blow job. This is not my usual behaviour but Dan says he loves it. I did it all week and then something weird happened on Friday."
"Oh, what was that?" I asked, my mind making up scenarios of Jodi being the hot wife, on her knees sucking cock. She was totally distracting.
"Well, I know I have been acting kind of strange, with all this erotic clothing. But what Dan did was even stranger." She started to get really flushed and her eyes shone again with moisture, or was it erotic recall? "Like what I mean is that he was always sort of really jealous and didn't want me wearing sexy clothing around other men. Then on Friday he came through the front door unannounced with a friend of his from work. I was wearing my lacy blue g-string set, which is close to transparent, and they bailed me up in the kitchen area talking to me so that I couldn't get past. They both started complimenting me on my body, on my thin thighs, and firm bum. Then two other guys from work came in after them and I was sort of stuck there in front of them virtually completely naked and again I had no control, I couldn't escape. I also couldn't work out why Dan had told his friends I had been working out and to come and check out his hot wife. He actually told them I might be in lingerie hoping for a fuck. One of them even asked me if it was turning me on being almost nude in front of them and if I felt like a fuck he was up for it. Dan, my husband just laughed and told him that it was not his lucky day. His comment kind of made me feel more secure. They kept drinking beer for a few hours and I stayed in the lingerie, afterall they had all seen it all by then. Some of their comments got very sexual and Dan was making inappropriate comments by pointing and laughing at the guy's erections and telling me they wanted to fuck me."
"So did anything sexual happen while they were there?" I asked.
"No, they were complete gentleman and full of compliments. Although at one point when one of them was saying how he thought he could make me come in two minutes if I just sat on his lap, I just about came myself right there and I noticed that the crotch of my g-string was soaked. I was so aroused I could smell myself being turned on. Can all girls do that? If anyone had touched me even for a few seconds I was sure I would have had an orgasm. It was terrible. But they didn't. After they left I fucked Dan like crazy for hours until he was exhausted, I just felt like fucking all night. So I guess it was a major turn-on for me."
