Olivia and David
David Markson was returning home from an enjoyable Sunday afternoon of golf with his buddies. He's a "normal" guy. He loves his wife and kids without question. He's been married to Olivia for 22 years and has 2 great kids, twins, Jess and Mike, who are attending a local university and living together on campus. He's been employed by the same company for over 20 years. He's a respected and valued employee. He and Olivia have a great circle of friends. David thought he had his life under control.
Sadly, he was becoming increasingly worried about his home life with Olivia. Over the past 2 years, but especially during the past 12 months since the departure Jess and Mike, Olivia had changed. Gone was the happy, vivacious and loving woman that he had married. She had been replaced by an icy, secretive and distracted person. While their social life continued to a degree, physical intimacy had largely ceased. Weekday mornings centred on preparations for work. Conversations, if any, were perfunctory.
David's attempts at re-igniting their marriage through date nights, flowers, naughty weekends, compliments and the like, had been largely unsuccessful. They were politely acknowledged but not enthusiastically embraced.
David arrived home and entered the house from the garage. The first worrying sign was that Olivia was sitting at the dining room table with nothing but a bottle of wine, two glasses and a sheet of paper. They greeted one another and Olivia asked if David had time for a quick chat. He said that he'd get changed and return in a few minutes. He went to the bedroom, got out of his golf gear, changed into some casual clothes, turned on his phone's recorder and returned to his wife. She had poured him a glass of wine. David could see that Olivia's level of anxiety was extreme.
Olivia had rehearsed her speech over and over. Her plan and the associated strategy, had its genesis about a month ago and since then, it had been further developed and refined. She knew that her husband would not take her announcement well but he was a trusting, simple and loving man who had never denied her anything. Today's discussion would test his commitment to her. Olivia was confident that if she held her course, her future as a 21st century woman would be assured. She reminded herself that she will only get one shot at her life. An opportunity missed is an opportunity lost. For the past 25 years, Olivia had been a loving girlfriend, wife and mother. Now, with the children gone, it was time to embark on the next phase of her life.
She began, "David, first, could I ask you to let me express myself before I answer any questions you may have. I've been developing this strategy of some months and it has gone through a number of iterations. I need to apologize for being hard to be around for quite some time. It seems that over time, I've allowed myself to drift into a situation where I've become ambivalent about the important things in my life. I've fallen short of the mark as a wife, a mother and a person. I've been doing a great deal of soul searching about my life and I've decided to make a number of significant changes that are designed to make me a more complete person. Some of the things might appear small and others might be difficult for you to accept.
"I'm going to re-join the gym and commence a structured fitness and dietary program. Next, I'm going to take up yoga. I feel that the fundamental tenets of yoga are consistent with the direction in which I'd like my life to evolve.
"I've looked closely at my job to determine if it's an impediment to the "new me". On balance, even though I have let my performance slide, with their patience and support, I am confident that I will be able to return to the performance levels that I demonstrated a couple of years ago and which they valued. Importantly, however, I want to set a clear delineation between my work and private "new" life.
"I'm going to invest greater effort to improve my relationships with my family and friends. I know I have a lot of work to do to re-establish the loving relationship that I treasured with the twins. I hope that you will be able to help me with this. I know that you have always been closer to them than I have been.
"My relationship with you has been the most challenging issue for me to consider. For me to be the person I need to become, our relationship must be a cornerstone of my new life. We have drifted apart. Our partnership has become stale. I acknowledge that you have tried valiantly to resuscitate our marriage but, as they say, "it takes two to tango". I need to re-learn how to be a wife, a friend and a lover. I want to better understand what I want from my life partner. I want to grow old with you. I want to crave you. I believe with all my heart that our marriage is strong and our love for one another cannot be questioned. I would like to promise to you that, going forward, I will embrace your efforts to improve our relationship.
"I have decided, however, to broaden my experience to better understand what I need from you as a life partner. In order to achieve this, I have decided to begin dating other men. This will enable me to experience the full range of emotional and physical feelings that I need to re-build our life as husband and wife. I need to re-learn how to give and receive emotional and physical stimuli. I understand that this will likely cause you some unhappiness but please be assured that my intentions are just as I have expressed. I want us to be the best couple we can be.
"David, I know that you are a "black and white" kind of person, but I beg you to see this, at least in part, from my perspective. I need you to understand that between the black and white, there are shades of grey. I've decided to go on my first date on Friday night. I'll return to you before lunch on Saturday. I want to be as open with you as possible, so we can then talk about my date over lunch. I'm certain that with time and many discussions, you will agree that what I am doing is a good thing for all concerned."
By now, Olivia was almost hyperventilating but nonetheless, to her credit, she pressed on with a look akin to abject terror, "David, I understand that all this might be a little confronting for you. Maybe you'd like some time to digest this before we re-convene."
After a while, David stood unsteadily and with no emotion said, "Olivia, I can see that you've given this a great deal of thought. I appreciate you giving me the chance have a good think before I respond. I'm going to head off for a while and gather my thoughts. Maybe we can discuss this later this evening or tomorrow?"
"David, you know that I love you only," She said with a trembling voice. "Please keep an open mind about this. Please let me know when you're ready."
With that, David grabbed his coat and headed for the garage. As he drove away from the house, he growled in anger and repeatedly bashed the steering wheel. He couldn't imagine how things could have turned out worse. His wife wants to go on dates and fuck other men in order to "make our marriage better". What a crock of shit! She's absolutely deluded! What is she thinking?
As he enjoyed his burger and a second coffee, David decided that he had handled Olivia's speech pretty well - even if he elected not to immediately engage her. He was able to maintain an outward appearance of calmness. She had been preparing her ambush for weeks, if not months. He listened to the recording a couple of times before his next move materialised. He was going to consult with his closest confidants, the twins. He called his daughter, Jess, and asked her to set up one of her "threesomes" with her brother Mike.
"DAD! They're not called "threesomes"! They're called "conference calls". Threesomes are very different things.
"... but don't worry Dad, the lazy turd is lying here on the lounge. Mark my words, it's really true that Uni students don't have social lives. All of those stories about the "wild days" at university are just fantasy. DAD! Am I destined to spend the rest of my life sitting on a nasty couch while my brother eats my fucking Cheetos, drinks my beer and farts? Just like he does every damn night. DAD! I'm 19 years old. I need a little loving. I'm ripe!" Jess said with a giggle.
"OK, Jess, thanks for that
educative discourse
. I need to have a very important talk to you both. This is not a joke. I repeat. THIS IS NOT A JOKE!" We're talking "911" here!"
"Dad, you're scaring me. Is everything OK?" Jess said with a nervous glance towards her brother.
"No, baby. Everything is far from OK," Her father said with a hint of panic in his voice.
For the first time, Mike piped up and with his usual laid-back tone said, "What's up Dad?"
"Is it OK if I come over?"
"Sure Dad. I'll put some coffee on." Jess answered.
"I may need something a little stronger. I'll see you in 30 minutes."
"OK Dad, drive carefully. Bye"
David arrived at his kid's apartment and began, "Look guys, you know that your Mom and I have been going through some tough times recently. I have a recording of a discussion that I've just had with her. Is it OK if play it for you?"
"OK, Dad. It sounds serious. We're listening," Jess said with a concerned note in her voice.
David played the recording.
The silence was deafening until Jess finally exploded, "THAT FUCKING BITCH! Mike and I put up with her shit for 12 months before we had to leave and now she's done this to you! Ignoring how she treated us, she's been disrespecting you for years and now she's kicking you in the balls and expects you to roll over and enjoy it! How stupid does she think you are?"
"Right now,
Sweet Cheeks
, I don't know how stupid I'm supposed to be. As you would expect, you guys were my first call, my only call. Maybe we can kick this around a little and figure out what the fuck I should do. I need your help."
Throughout these preliminaries, Mike didn't say too much. He's always been the
strong and silent
type. He's sharp as a tack and people tend to hang on his every word. Unlike his sister who is breathtakingly volatile, Mike "thinks twice and acts once".
David was often amazed at how his twin children could be so utterly different but so wonderfully compatible. He loved them so much. Just now, and despite the absolute clusterfuck that his life was becoming, he couldn't help but marvel at the type of people they were turning out to be. He looked at them both and somehow felt a little calmer.
He was brought back to the conversation by Jess who, by now, was incandescent with rage. She was prowling back and forth across the lounge room like a panther. Her eyes were on fire, "Dad! Pay attention! We're behind the game! We're fifteen points down in the first quarter! FUCK! DAD! We may be in the second quarter! We've got to catch up! It sounds like Mom's been planning this for weeks, if not months. She's got some guy in the wings and she's trying to justify her romp in the sack with him, if she isn't already fucking him! Friday night is our "
go hard or go home
" moment."
"OK! OK! That's why we're talking!" David exclaimed defensively - his hands in the "surrender" position.
While Jess was recovering from her initial barrage, Mike quietly asked, "Dad, are you OK?"
"No, Mike. No, I'm not. While I may have seen something like this coming for a while, it's kind of surreal to see it arrive. I get the feeling that I'm losing her, or I may have already lost her. Your Mom wouldn't have made her speech without considering the likely consequences."
