I took an open chair across the big table from my wife, Helen, who was entertaining brothers Harvey and Babe. Five "couples", all purportedly my friends, were engaged in intimate forms of intercourse; they were ignoring the brothers' hands under the table and my wife's blissful look in favor of achieving their own.
Charlotte was sitting on Carl's lap; her husband, Robert, had his arm around Kay's back, whispering in her ear. Kay's husband Tony had his big paw on the leg of his best friend Tommy's wife, Sue, while his best friend was stroking Dana's bare back. Dana's husband was three sheets in the wind, head bobbing, with a mostly empty whiskey bottle in his hand. Carl's wife Sonia was playing pool with three young boys, who were enjoying her exhibitionism as she leaned over the table in her short dress.
No one noticed me, until the noisy din coming from the nearby tables died down and Sonia looked around to see why it had gotten so quiet.
She was the one who noticed me first; her hand flew to her mouth, she dropped the pool cue, and exclaimed, "OH MY GOD! ED!"
The boys' heads followed her; they saw me sitting there alone, beer in hand, watching my wife taking turns kissing Harvey and Babe. Her exclamation and stare redirected the attention of those who weren't already watching our table to me.
You see, my temper and fighting abilities were legendary from youth on, and my company employed everyone at the big table, and many, if not most, of the others in the big, drafty bar. My reaction would affect many of them.
It might have been Sonia's cry or Kay moving to Roberts lap, but Kay saw me first. It didn't sink in for a moment, but then she yelled "OH SHIT" and scrambled back to her seat. Robert looked around to see why, froze, and said, "OH, FUCK!"
"We thought you were in Dallas!" ventured wide-eyed Tony.
"Came back early to an empty house, so I rode out here to join my wife and friends," I replied evenly.
Helen's lips were unoccupied and the brothers' hands were on the table; all three were bright red, perhaps from holding their breaths, perhaps embarrassment, or fear.
"Ed, it's not what you think," said Charlotte as she slipped off Carl's lap and into her chair."
"Really?"
Carl slurred, "We were just foolin' around a little, man, just havin' a little fun, ya know. Don't take it so serious! We're all friends here!"
"Leviticus 20:10," I quoted. He looked at me blankly.
"I had no idea all this was going on," I said, sweeping my hand around the table. "How long?"
There was silence until Harvey grew a pair. "What difference does it make? We're all adults; we can do what we want with who we want." Helen's eyes were fixed on the table.
