I sit in the kitchen dressed in a gown robe tied under my weighty bosom, my nose in a newspaper reading the lonely hearts, lots of 40 something’s looking for romance but this isn’t quite who I’m looking for. I have a particular person in mind. I’m sat poised just waiting for the advert to jump out at me a pen in my long painted “innocently pink” enhanced nailed fingers.
The next one reads “Sugar daddy seeks a baby girl”, I move on “Divorced blond seeks an escort”, I nearly give up hope when I see it bottom left-hand corner, “Open minded single female looking for a fantasy couple, no strings” Perfect! I jot down the number and contemplate calling? Then I realise it’s a mobile number so I decide to text first, a little afraid of rejection.
I type the words “Valentine Wife seeks 3 way fun, interested? If so RSVP”. I read it back to myself aloud; my throat is dry am I making a mistake? My thumb hovers over the send button, I hesitate then press it. Too late to withdraw the offer now besides this is for both of us, me and my partner.
I sit for what feels like an eternity waiting for a beep to say I have a reply, my heart beats faster under my heaving breast as the minutes tick away. My mobile vibrates and the answer has arrived. “Describe yourself to me”, is all it reads. I wonder how much detail is required so I describe the important parts of both me and my partner to her. She is happy and we set up the event between us.
As the days go by I get more nervous I buy an outfit from an online store now in this country pub bedroom I try it on for size. It fits like a glove, the white apron ties at the back and the hold-ups are short exposing my bare thighs and frilly French panties. I pile up my blond tousled hair and pin my maids’ hat neatly into position. There is a knock at the door but it’s too early to be him, I didn’t order the taxi until 7pm and it’s only 6.30pm, it must be her?