Ray is an accomplished lover and I enjoyed having sex with him. However, Lee was still my husband, I hoped, and I still loved him. I did have a little trouble going to sleep, not knowing what I was going to have to face with Lee in the morning. Had I destroyed our marriage? That question made me feel sick at my stomach and I slept fitfully.
I gave up trying to get any real sleep about eight o'clock. I got out of bed without waking Ray and carefully opened the bedroom door. I was partially relieved and somewhat jealous when I saw that Lee was not on the sofa and it did not appear that he had slept there. I went to the kitchenette to start some coffee and then the pangs of jealousy really began to bite. Lee was in bed with Yvonne. Had he had sex with her? 'What a stupid question.' Until now he had been mine only, now what? Why wasn't I stronger? Had my weakness destroyed my happiness? I didn't have any answers. I was just getting sick.
Just as I was pouring a cup off coffee, Yvonne came out of the bedroom. She came in, said, "Good morning," and quipped, "What's wrong? "Was he too much for you?"
I swallowed my pride and said that everything was fine with Ray. Then I asked, "And how was Lee? She caught me by surprise when she said, "I don't know. He came into the bedroom with me, put on his leather jacket and left. He wouldn't tell me where he was going. He simply said, 'I'll see you later.' You mean he's not here?"
My heart sank. Had Lee left me? What was going to happen next? I started to cry and I asked Yvonne why she hadn't let me know that Lee had left. She said she was sure he was coming back because he had left his belongings and she hadn't come to me because there was nothing I could have done by the time she would have gotten me anyway. She was sure that he would have been back by now.
When I discovered Lee was gone, my voice rose and it woke Ray up. We told him what had happened and he went to the window and confirmed that the car was gone. We agreed that we might have to rent a car to get back home and were in the process of making emergecy plans when we heard the front door lock click and Lee walked through the front door.
I ran to him with tears in my eyes and hugged him. He gave a passive return hug. I asked him where he had gone and he told me he had to do some thinking and he needed to get away from the condo and the night's activities.
Then he looked at me and asked in a rather disgusted voice, "Did you and Ray have a wonderful fucking time?"
That hurt. I looked down, and then at Ray, and then back at Lee and in a trembling voice said, "Yes, we did."
He said, "Thanks for being honest." Then he went and sat on the couch. Without paying much attention to me he went on to explain how he had been doing a lot of thinking and had finally realized that he had unwittingly set the whole thing up. He said he concluded that he didn't think he would have acted differently if the roles had been reversed. However, he was careful to make the point that what I had done was hurting very much.
The conversation included all four of us and went on for about an hour. As we were coming to a conclusion, Ray and Yvonne explained that they were swingers, and that they had been for a long time. They quickly admitted that they now remember the pain they had felt the first time their partner had sex with someone else. They went on to tell how they had come to look at sex as a means of physical gratification with no deep emotional strings attached. They concluded by saying how they would love to have us join their group of friends, some of whom also belonged to the club.
We then went out for brunch and by the time we had eaten; almost all of the tension from the visit to the club had vanished. It was especially noticeable in Lee. I believe he had really accepted the blame for what happened and relegated it to an unfortunate happening that he wished he could undo. He really confirmed his turnabout when we returned to the condo.
First he asked if we were going clubbing again tonight. We all affirmed that we were up to it. He then said that we probably should get some sack time before we went out again.
With that he grabbed Yvonne by the hand and started pulling her toward our bedroom and said, "Yvonne I believe I am entitled to a romp with you."
She was holding back and we all said that nap time would be after supper. . Lee continued to pull Yvonne as he said, "Oh, sure. You guys come in as though nothing happened and pull a switcheroo without any consideration for me. Because of it I haven't had any sleep, or anything else. And now you tell me everything is off until tonight? C'mon Yvonne and help me relax and get some sleep."
Yvonne laughed, stopped resisting and said, "Ok big boy if you think you are up to it, let's go." With that they disappeared into the bedroom.
I was shocked and I quickly found myself with an array of emotions fighting for priority. I was jealous. I was hurt. I felt betrayed. I felt I was being cheated on. And, I was angry, really pissed. Lee was in the bedroom about to have sex with Yvonne. I started to cry as I slumped down on the couch and these emotions were wreaking havoc with me.
Ray sat down next to me and asked what was wrong. I told him really nothing, that I was just being silly. He then asked if I was upset with Lee being with Yvonne.
