I've frequently received criticism that my stories are too long and take too many words to say the same thing. This is probably true as I do love the written word. So for those of you, this is my one attempt at writing a short Loving Wives tale.
Edited by LadyCibelle. My thanks and I hope she'll continue with me for a while
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My Mistake
Yesterday I spoke with a nice young doctor who had a lot of letters after his name. He was a Psychiatrist, one of the real doctors of the head. We spoke and this is what I told him.
Thank you Doctor for listening to me. I don't know what to do or where to go. I just want to kill myself so I can stop feeling this pain in my chest and stomach. My medical doctor says there's nothing wrong with me. Maybe he's right, at least with my body. But my head is a different matter. Please, let me tell you what happened. Then maybe you can help me find a way to live with it.
My name is Dee Mallock and I'm married to Peter Mallock. We've been married now for over ten years and we have no children. That's my decision. I told Pete before we married that I didn't want kids and he agreed, although I knew he wanted them. I can't tell you why I didn't but it was probably buried somewhere in my subconscious. Anyway, I've practiced birth control via the pill for all our marriage. Except for two months ago and that was my mistake. I forgot and my prescription expired. I got it renewed but I needed to wait a month to get back on schedule. Pete and I made love of course, but I was always careful not to do so during my fertile times, even when I was on the pill unless, of course, we got carried away. So what happened?
Well, Pete came home two months ago and told me he had a brain tumor. He was really broken up about it since there was a good chance it could kill him. I was horrified and I think Pete had to work some just to calm me down. He had the tumor but I was almost hysterical. Anyway, we talked the entire day making contingency plans and all that you do when something like this happens. And then we went to bed and made love. Actually, it was more like a frenzy of lust and love all mixed together. Most of it was fear on both our parts but the sex was absolutely fantastic. We continued all night and well into the morning, but it seemed to help both of us to renew our love and our commitment to each other. I certainly never remembered about the pills. Not then.
Well, that's part of the story. The other part, the part that I have to tell you even though it makes me sick now, is that at that same time, I was having an affair with Pete's business partner, Jacob Platt. It was a silly thing, lasting only a few weeks, and wasn't even much about the sex. I don't even remember how it started but it had nothing to do with Pete or the way I felt about him. He had always been an excellent lover. So, I'm still trying to understand how it started. It isn't important now, but with the news of Pete's tumor, I decided to end it immediately. I had suddenly been given a wake up call of what was important in my life and who I loved. That was Pete! Only Pete! What I had with Jacob was dirty and trivial, and now a thing of the past.
I did it the very next day. I had a planned rendezvous with Jacob and I kept it. We met at the Palm Desert Motel the next afternoon. I told Jacob about Peter and that our affair or whatever the hell it was, was over and he accepted the news without much sympathy. As a matter of fact, he forced himself on me that day with threats of exposure to Pete. I agreed to this last tumble but never again. Jacob agreed and we had sex. Actually, I laid there while Jacob used my body, and that was when I felt like the slut I had been. Just dirty afterwards! But I was free of Jacob and I swore never again. Never again would I jeopardize my marriage.
Over the next several weeks, under doctor's orders, Pete began to prepare for the surgery. There were vitamins to take, a diet to begin, exercises he wanted Pete to do and a number of things we had to plan for afterwards. We worked like the team we were and it was a good time in spite of the reasons. It pulled us together and made us stronger. It took most of two months to complete before they would schedule the surgery. The doctor who was going to do it gave us the whole spiel making sure we understood everything and we agreed. It was scheduled for the next day.
Doctor Wallace took me aside and told me in no uncertain terms that Pete's condition was borderline. The cancer hadn't spread and there was a good chance that he could get it all during the operation. If he did, Pete could have a good chance at a full recovery. But, and this was critical he said, Pete had to want to live! Since the tumor was in the brain, close to the frontal lobe, his behavior would be affected. If he had a positive outlook, it would be so much better. Depression or even a deep sadness would be almost a death sentence. He wanted to know how things were at home. I assured him that I loved my husband, he loved me and we were a team. I promised myself that I would do nothing else to give him cause for distress.
A week later the operation was judged a success, at least medically. Now it was up to Pete. I was with him when he woke the first night and he did recognize me which was good. He seemed in good spirits but I was unable to joke much, being so worried. We talked, assured each other that the news was good and Pete started to mend. It was slow, but he was trying. I could see the part his mental condition played. When he was upbeat, the difference was striking. When the pain got him down, he looked terrible. So, I worked on his mind, kidding, telling him funny stories of people we both knew, anything to make him laugh.
But then, a gift! I couldn't wait till the next day when I could see Pete! I had such great news! News that should do what all the doctors in the world couldn't: make my husband Pete get better! What news you ask? The little stick that I took into the bathroom with me that night had two lines, crossing each other. That was the sign for positive. I was pregnant! Pregnant with Pete's baby! Sure it was due to a mistake on my part, running out of birth control pills, but this mistake was going to be a lifesaver. I was so pleased with this result that I danced around the house, blessing my mistake.
I went into the hospital the next day, visited with Pete for awhile, noticing that he was in a great deal of pain and bided my time. I wanted the announcement to be just perfect, made at just the right time. So, I waited. Lunch came and went and Pete's meds kicked in and he began to perk up a little. I left for a while then came back to share dinner with him. He looked very good. Better than he had for some time. I decided then that the time was right.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and took his hand in mine. Looking deep into his eyes, I spoke. "Pete, my darling. I have an announcement that you're going to love. I know we didn't plan it but I made a little mistake that is going to make you very happy." I paused for effect, watched the question grow in his eyes and then gave him my present.
"Congratulations Peter. You're going to be a daddy! I'm pregnant! I'm going to have a baby and it will need its father. So, your job is to get well as soon as possible."
My huge grin faded as I waited for his response and I was surprised when he failed to smile. I watched his face carefully and saw tears form in his eyes. That shocked me but I felt that he was simply overcome with emotion. My hope that he would recover much more quickly started to fade when he turned away from me and closed his eyes. I was about to say something more when he spoke.
"Dee, I want you to do me a favor. At home, in the top drawer in my desk on the right hand side, there is an envelope. Please bring it back with you tonight when you come." These words were not what I expected. And what did he mean tonight. I was already here.
"Pete, there's no reason for me to go home. I'm staying until visiting hours are over. And why are you being this way? Aren't you happy? You'll be fine by the time the baby is ready to come. You just have to get. . . ." I was interrupted by an angry Peter.
