A chime rang, followed by a vibration in my thigh as I dug my phone out of my front pocket. The notification bubble read: 1 new message from Hubby. As the phone recognized my face, the notification transitioned into a preview of his text, "Where are you?" I unlocked my phone and read the text message before switching to the camera.
I aimed the camera at the mirror and snapped a picture leveled without an angle. I reviewed the selfie seeing myself standing on the three-inch nude strappy heels. My hips stretched the white midi pencil skirt horizontally. The light fabric showed my black lace thong hanging off my hips. The phone covered most of the black sleeveless shirt I wore on top. I was about to send the picture to my husband when my phone froze. I tried tapping the send button repeatedly, but it wouldn't budge. I didn't know what to do with the thing, so I put it away, hoping it'd fix itself by the time I came back to it.
"All done?" Maria stood with various brands of shopping bags hanging in her right arm.
"Just this," I handed the white skirt, black top, and tan heels to the cashier. It wasn't until we got into the car that my phone started vibrating with notifications multiple times. "Thanks for coming with me, Maria," I exhaled back in the passenger seat.
"You've helped so much with Alex's birthday this coming weekend. How could I not come shopping with my bestie," Maria pulled her shades from the top compartment and put them on as if she were Tom Cruise himself. "I'm surprised, though. You usually don't shop for yourself. I felt selfish in the past when only I would buy clothes. You only bought clothes for Ed and the kids."
"Well, Ed gave me a little play money. Besides, I need to update my wardrobe. I'm trying to look as good as you Maria," I touched her bare shoulder.
"Owwww, Mami! Well, you said you would start working out with me. I already have your diet planned."
I tilted my head and rolled my eyes, "Do I at least get to have donuts?"
"NO!" we laughed hysterically. I hadn't looked at my phone since leaving the dressing room. There were three notifications. Two from Ed. One from my boss. I checked the notification from my husband first.
Hubby: OMG!
Hubby: COME HOME NOW!!! I WANT TO FUCK YOU NOW
Above his response was the selfie I took in the dressing room. I tapped the back arrow once to see what my boss had texted me.
Drew: you look amazing. Hope you wear that tomorrow 🙂
As I scrolled up, the blood in my limbs and face retreated to my heart. It was the selfie. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Maria slammed on the brakes, almost sending our heads through the windshield. I wished I wasn't wearing my seatbelt.
----------------------------------------------------
The kids raced inside the house once I pulled into the driveway. My shoulders were hunched over my clenched fists gripping the steering wheel. I rubbed my forehead against the airbag, activating the horn.
"HONEY?!" Ed pulled the door open, grabbing at my shoulders. "Are you okay? What happened?"
I cranked my neck to the sound of his voice as my heavy eyelids cast a dark shadow around my vision. I could only see the beige UGG slippers Ed was wearing. I dropped to the right side and grabbed the shopping bag with the absolute minimum amount of strength necessary to lift it before shoving my husband out of the way. The rubber soles of my shoes dragged against the slurry garage floor. I tripped on the first step but didn't bother catching myself. Something reached out and grabbed me before I nose-dived into the following steps.
"Give me that!" Ed grabbed the bag from my hand and swooped his arm behind my knees and lower back. He lifted me easily and carried me up the stairs as I flailed my arms lifelessly.
"Just kill me now Ed," I curled up into a ball once he laid me on the bed.
"Are you alright? Do you need to see a doctor?"
My eyebrows scrunched down, and I squinted at the back of Ed's head, "It's all your fault!" I threw my phone at him. It landed in his lap after bouncing off his barreled chest. I turned and smothered myself in my pillow "read the text messages."
I heard Ed tapping on my phone, navigating the text messages, before seeing his eyes widen. He scrolled up and down and looked at me. "How come you didn't text him back?"
I threw my fist as hard as I could into his arm, "Ed, I'm seriously going to kill you. That's my boss."
Ed just kept looking at my phone. He walked over to the shopping bag and picked up the clothes, displaying them to me. "How come you didn't return it?" the fucking idiot was smiling. I kicked the mattress with both feet as if I were learning to swim while screaming into the pillow. Lizzy overheard me and jumped on the bed beside me, imitating my tantrum.
I grabbed Lizzy and held her close to my chest. "Oh, Lizzy, what am I going to do?"
"What's wrong, mommy?"
I barraged Lizzy's head with kisses, "Mommy doesn't want to go to work tomorrow. Can she stay home?"
"No, mommy," she tapped my nose. "Good girls go to school." It's the exact phrase I said to her whenever she tried playing hookey.
"That's right, honey. Good girls go to school and work!" Ed grabbed Lizzy and held her in his lap. "Lizzy? Can daddy talk to mommy?"
"Okay," Lizzy ran out the door as fast as she came in.
"Why are you stressing so much over this?" Ed's palm trailed down the length of my back. His fingers dug into my trapezius as he used his thumbs to knead out the knots within the muscle. His index finger and thumb squeezed the back of my neck, inching toward the top of my skull.
"Oh my god, honey. That feels so good. Don't stop." I sprawled my arms to my side. His fingers were slowly dancing on the blood vessels underneath my scalp. I winced as he applied light pressure to both sides of my temple. "Jesus. I really needed this." I took a full minute to breathe in and out. Ed worked his way down my neck again, then my shoulders, the teres minor and major, my lats, and ultimately used both his thumbs to press into my L4 and L5 vertebrae dispersing an immense dullness. "Uggghhhh."
"Feel good?"
"Mmmmhmmmm." I turned myself around and lay on the pillow. "Thank you honey."
"Stop being so nervous. The outfit is perfectly acceptable at the office."
"And you would know?" I raised my eyebrow.
