Daughter 04 Beliefs Challenged

Previously on Daughter:

Sara's world continues to unravel in the wake of her mother's infidelity, leaving fractures in her relationships with her father, brother, and husband.

She wrestles with new and unsettling thoughts about marriage, monogamy, and fidelity, ideas seeded by her mother's radical redefinition of love and commitment.

Emotions flared between Jon and Sara during their discussion at home. He confronts her on her silence, her values, and... most alarmingly... her questions about open relationships.

For the first time in their marriage, trust between them feels fragile.

******

Chapter 04 | (Mis) Beliefs Challenged!

MONDAY April 15 2024 | 5 AM | Day After the Brunch

Sara spun across the flowered field with joyful abandon. Arms outstretched, drawing in deep lungfuls of the bright floral scented air. Morning light kissed the mountaintops in the distance while she moved gracefully through the sea of sunflowers. The greens and yellows, though muted, brightened as the morning rolled across them.

Her golden hair flowed impossibly past her ankles and melded into her pristine white dress, which billowed endlessly behind her as a gusty breeze overtook the meadow. Flowers smiled as they swayed and danced in appreciation. Their soft leaves and thick stems brushing across her uplifted arms and hands as she continued forward.

A jolt of excitement ran through her body as she heard a playful gurgling up ahead.

"Ooh.... water! Maybe I can dip my feet in..." she thought, running forward.

Stopping by the bank of the brook, the breeze caught wisps of her hair and feathered it across Sara's face. She soaked in the surrounding beauty... the vibrant blue water, the sweet, crisp air, all beneath the dense, arching branches of a magnificent tree.

The thick branches swayed gently, and a soft creaking, like distant whispers, reached her ears in greeting. The term mighty oak surfaced in her mind, as if whispered by the tree itself. A shiver ran down her spine as she stepped back.

The oak pulsed with life, and its branches reached out for her like a mother's welcoming arms. Something about it felt familiar... comforting...

Brushing her hair aside, she turned back towards the flowers, bringing a flower down to her face, hoping to inhale its bright scent... But her head pulled back in surprise... the flower had no scent... the vivid colors around her were fading to gray.

The flowers wilting... their faces turning away from her, just as her father had turned from her at the diner...

The once cool breeze.... buzzed in her ears, a relentless pattern that disrupted the tranquility. Carrying a sense of urgency across the field... accompanied by words... Was the tree reaching out again?

Grasping at the vanishing flowers with both hands, Sara groaned as the field and her dress blurred away.

Her eyes flickered open in the darkness. The dream's last wisp of floral scent evaporated, replaced by the relentless buzz of the alarm.

She was curled up in a fetal position, cozy and warm, nestled under her blue chambray flannel sheets and bright navy down blanket. The colors were a solid choice for winter, but Sara would soon change them out for brighter spring tones. She was in no rush though, as Jon loved the way her soft blonde hair spread across the gray sheets when they made love.

"Ava. Shut the alarm!" said Sara, flipping the blankets off her face.

"Alarm off," replied her cell.

She nestled back into the warmth. The blanket muffled the sound of raindrops, which were pelting against her bedroom window, mimicking a tribal beat. She let the sound cascade across her body before shifting onto her back. Her right hand reaching for Jon, but only found the coolness of the sheets, a stark reminder of his absence. "Shit," she thought, as the wave of regret washed over her... "it was real."

Curling her body towards Jon's side, she grabbed and crushed his pillow into her chest, breathing in his lingering scent.

Last night's memories flooded back... sitting alone on the balcony, bundled under a blanket, wineglass in hand, staring at the dark, heavy sky as the storm clouds rolled in.

She let go of the pillow and checked her watch. 5 am. Much earlier than she would have normally awoken for work on a Monday, but she wanted to get a text out to Jon before his flight. She turned back towards her side and pushed her legs out of the blanket as she sat up. Grabbing her phone, her fingers blurred in communication over the smooth glass.

>>>>"Morning! Missed your warm body in bed... 😞,"

>>"Morning Sara."

"Well, that was cold," thought Sara, her fingers responding.

>>>>"Yesterday sucked. I don't like the way we left it between us."

>>"I know. Important for us to get through. We need to be sure this is what we want. Heal our current family to build our future family. Don't want doubts or regrets about our marriage to hang over us like a dark cloud."

Sara's fingers hesitated before responding...

>>>>"I understand. Thankful we are doing this together..."

>>"For sure. Boarding, gotta go 🛫."

>>>>"Have a safe flight! ✈️✈️✈️ Love you! ❤️❤️❤️,"

>>"🥰"

Sara smiled. The brief interaction left her feeling better than she felt last night, but far from satisfied. Fumbling out of bed in her comfortable fuzzy pajamas, she walked into the bathroom and took care of her morning needs.

Leaving the bed unmade, she walked out and into the kitchen to prepare coffee and warm up the leftover portion of her omelet. She ate in silence, checking the day's schedule on her phone. Three direct meetings with clients and an internal to discuss next quarters marketing strategies. One in the late morning, the others in the afternoon. Being the marketing director for three core global brands at the agency allowed her leeway around her working hours. She would take a long shower and make it in by 10.

After cleaning up the kitchen and tossing her pajamas in the hamper, Sara stepped into the shower. Hot was definitely on the menu... hotter than Jon liked, and hopefully hot enough to burn through her melancholy.

Sara lathered the liquid soap in her loofah and began soaping her body, imagining it was Jon caressing her from behind with his firm hands, building a lather for her as he massaged her body from scalp to toe. He loved to run his hand down her flat tummy and playfully fluff her curly pubic hair with his fingers. It excited her when he would reach down and firmly cup her vagina, while gently nibbling on her neck. She would press her body onto his chest, then turn her head, seeking his mouth... allowing the hot water to cascade across her body to set her off... but not today... just thinking about a week without those touches made her chest ache.

Instead, she fell back against the cool tiles as the water lost its warmth, her excitement sinking down the drain.

"This was going to be a long week." She thought, picking up her shaver.

The shower and sexy thoughts of Jon lifted her spirits a bit. She finished rinsing her body and realized she could no longer ignore thinking about yesterday.

But everything about yesterday sucked... it would have been easier to just strangle her mother from the beginning. She shook her head, imaging herself in prison orange.

Drying herself in front of the mirror. She met her reflection, searching for the woman Jon had married. The woman her father had raised. The woman she thought she'd become.

She spent the next hour fixing her hair and applied some light makeup. Mostly eyeliner. She picked a dark gray pant suit that perfectly fit her mood, grabbed her bag, umbrella, comfy winter coat, and was out the door.

****

TUESDAY April 16 2024 | 2 AM | San Francisco

The dimly lit hotel room was quiet. Even the drunken laughter in the hallway had died down hours ago.

Jon lay back on the hotel bed, staring at the ceiling. "Distance was supposed to help," he thought. Instead, it just made him restless."

Today had been a full day of group meetings, platform training sessions and the late team dinner. They ended the night with a round at the hotel bar before Jon called it a night. He'd been laying here for the last two hours.

Every time he closed his eyes, Sara was there... sitting at the kitchen island, voice shaking, fingers clenching her coffee mug. "Do you ever think about sharing me?"

His chest tightened. Not because he thought she truly wanted someone else, but because she had considered it. And that meant something. It had to.

She had questioned their marriage without telling him. That silence... that erosion of trust... felt too damn familiar.

Sara isn't my mother. And I'm not my father.

But his childhood had taught him one thing: secrets were a slow rot that destroyed even the strongest bonds.

Jon got up and pushed his body back to lean against the headboard, rubbing a hand over his jaw. The exhaustion sat heavy in his bones, but sleep refused to come. No amount of distance could keep the same thoughts from circling in his head.

His cell was beside him on the nightstand, face down. He knew there was a text from Sara waiting there.

He hadn't responded yet. He didn't know what to say.

She'd want to fix things. Make promises.

But words wouldn't help them right now.

Julie's words had destroyed one marriage.

He needed to see some kind of action.

The glowing red numbers on the hotel alarm clock blinked 2:13 AM.

Jon exhaled and let his head fall back against the pillow.

The distance hadn't given him answers. Only more questions.

And he wasn't sure which scared him more.

****

THURSDAY April 18 2024 | Morning Fog

The ceiling fan loomed above her like a diving bird of prey as Sara's eyes flicked open. She found herself on her back, legs tangled in the sheets... again. She hadn't bothered to make the bed since Monday. Made or unmade, it didn't seem to matter... it was another restless night.

Sighing, she rose and silenced her alarm before it had the chance to ring. She stepped into the shower, hoping that it would revive her, but like each day before, the water felt colder, more biting, as if Monday had drained all the warmth from the week.

Wrapped in a towel, Sara glanced at her phone, confirming that it was indeed Thursday. She was officially trapped in her own crappy version of Groundhog's Day.

Monday's numbness had given way to Tuesday's guilt, then Wednesday's anger, leaving her here on Thursday, somewhere between acceptance and desperation... the days passed as she went through the motions at work and moped around the apartment by evening.

The sunflower dreams were gone, replaced by unsettling scenes of her body, floating upside down in a cave, its entrance illuminated by a pulsing light. Flickering and snapping like a camera shutter... a flash around her knees... calves... ankles... big toe... before swallowing her in darkness.

She wished the flowers would come back.

Her exchanges with Jon were only a few "good morning" and "good night" texts, yet each reply felt like a lifeline tossed into her icy depths.

Jon was serious about taking this time to reflect on their issues. Sara had actively avoided them. Where could she even start? Five days wasn't enough to unravel her mom's betrayal.. or her role in it. Several angry texts to her mother sat unsent, her heart freezing her normally agile fingers just before they pressed send.

She knew she could convince Jon that she wasn't interested in changing their relationship, that she never wanted that... but she hesitated. Doubts nipped at her resolve, making her question if that alone would be enough.

She took Friday off, needing time to prepare for Jon's return on Saturday. And, just in case the weekend went well, she also blocked out Monday.

The only bright spot for the week was the mending of her relationship with her brother Scott on Tuesday. He came over after work and they ordered Chinese. As she unpacked their order, her mind wandered to the countless family dinners they had shared, when he'd been the troublemaker and she the perfect daughter. How quickly those roles had reversed.

The glow of the lights above the kitchen island bathed them in warmth, but the food sat mostly untouched. Scott's chopsticks twirled idly in the noodles, letting the rich scent of soy sauce and roast pork fill the air, while Sara's eyes remained fixed on the fortune cookies they would open later.

Sara's hands trembled as she explained her version of what happened with their mom that led to the broken trust between them. Scott listened as her voice trailed off when describing how far gone their mother was... only to stop and gather herself before continuing.

Scott sympathized with Sara as he dug into his lo mein. He acknowledged that their mother had put her in a tough spot. It was hard to believe that she could change so drastically.

"Look, I get it Sar... but dad... he needed to know."

Sara exhaled, her shoulders sagging with the weight of her mistake. "I know... I was stupid to think I could get her to see reason. I just didn't realize... how far gone she was..." Her hands trembling as they toyed with the edge of the takeout box.

"At the end, it happened so fast." Sara muttered, the words heavy on her tongue. "I should have stopped her before it got that far."

Scott sighed, twirling his chopsticks. "Yeah. But sounds like Mom played you. She made sure you wouldn't."

Scott shook his head. "None of us saw this coming, Sar. But it's done, and now dad needs us."

Sara centered her body in her chair and opened her takeout box.

"How's dad doing? Really." asked Sara.

"No worse than he was on Sunday... he feels blindsided... like everything he did for us over the years meant nothing."

Sara shifted uncomfortably back towards Scott as she tightened her grip on her chopsticks.

"Mom's words were hurtful and disrespectful. It killed him. He tried going to the office, but his heads not into it. At home, he's reading, cooks, and watching health documentaries... which have been really weird... and he's listening to a ton of Black Sabbath... I almost miss the 80s New Wave stuff." he laughed, pausing a moment as Sara laughed along.

"Yeah, nothing like Depeche Mode and Sabbath to soothe a broken heart." She added.

"I can think of worse artists... Anyway, I try to stop by every other day after work to have dinner with him, but I can't get there till later in the evening."

Scott ran a hand through his hair. "The commute sucks Sar... New York to White Plains, then back to Brooklyn... But I don't want him to be alone right now. I wish I could take off and stay for a while..."

"I know. Thank you for doing that. I want to help and take some of the burden off of you," said Sara.

Scott nodded. "He doesn't blame you, you know. His mind is stuck on the disrespect... It was unexpected from both of you. He's having a hard time processing."

Scott's voice dropped, the words heavy with their father's pain. "The worst part is when he talks about failing Sar. Like he couldn't protect us from this... outside attack." His words hung in the air, thick and suffocating... but they hit Sara like a punch, and for a moment, she just sat there, frozen, her breath catching in her throat. Then, she dropped her chopsticks, the clatter loud against the silence, and let out a sob.

Scott pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as Sara crumpled against him, her sobs muffled against his shirt, which were quickly soaked through with her tears.

Scott's initial feelings of disappointment at Sara's actions had softened to sorrow. He knew that being in the family doghouse was new for her, since it was normally his place growing up, but he needed Sara out of there ASAP. Not only to help ease his commute, though, that would be great, but because their dad needed her support and a woman's perspective. Especially if their mom didn't pull her head out of her ass soon.

"You'll have to talk to him soon. He needs us. But I think that he really needs to hear from you. I think like him... one and done..." said Scott.

"Scott, I'm the same. One and done... I didn't help her cheat!" Interjected Sara.

"I know, I know..." he said, holding a hand up. "I meant it might mean more if he hears it from the woman's side of things. He's asking me questions I can't answer, that maybe you can give a better perspective on. I don't know why or how she could do it. Or where her head was at that led her down that path to cheating. I don't know if there were feelings involved or how she could convince herself to do it in the first place!"

"Oh. I get it," replied Sara, hugging him back. "I'm reaching out to him this week. As long as he hasn't blocked me." Remembering his request to go no contact... but Sara was determined to get her dad back.

"Have you heard from mom?" she asked.

"No. She didn't return any of my calls and she shut off her location services. We're worried." Scott let her know they reached out to everyone that they knew and came up empty. Aunt Cassie hadn't heard from her either. Concern for her safety was growing.

"Well, add me to the worried list," said Sara. Her stomach clenching, remembering the calls, she let go to voicemail. Glancing down at her phone, the screen lit her face. "I'll text her..." she whispered, thumb hovering over the message icon. "...and try to call."

While part of her was genuinely concerned for her mother's safety, a small part hoped that a little time alone, with shame and regret, would wake her up from her delusion.

Scott gave her a grateful nod, squeezing her shoulder. "We've got this, Sar," he said, his voice filled with a determination that Sara hadn't seen in a while. She took a deep breath, the resolve settling in her bones.

"Yeah," she replied, the corners of her mouth lifting slightly, despite the heaviness of it all.

"We do."

****

"Another drenching commute," thought Sara as she entered her office and closed the door. She had an hour before her first meeting. Placing her coat and umbrella on the rack, she flipped her laptop open before turning to look outside the office window. The cold gray of the rain/snow/sleet mixture continued to mirror her internal numbness.

Hearing a knock on her door behind her, she absentmindedly waved the person in as she turned.

The smiling face of her best friend, Emma Hartley, greeted her. "Hey Sara. Morning."

Sara's face brightened. She met Em during freshman year and they became fast friends as teammates on their college's Division 1 soccer team practice squad. Roommates from Sophomore year on, they graduating together, and landed jobs at the same agency in NYC. Even though they saw each other every day at work, they still hung out together on weekends, as Em was also good friends with her husband Jon.

While Sara was a director of marketing at the agency, presiding over the big picture strategy and budgetary efforts of three global brands, Em was a digital marketing manager. Her team handled all the digital channels for the agency clients. They would help plan and strategize campaigns, create content and handle data analysis and reporting. She worked on two of the brands Sara held strategic relations with.

"Em looked stunning..." thought Sara. "as always." She was envious of how confident Em was in life. Unlike Sara, Em didn't brood over her mistakes. She bounced away from them as easily as if brushing her auburn hair away from her striking emerald eyes. If something didn't work for her, she cut her losses, made changes, and moved forward. Sara assumed it had everything to do with growing up in a celebrity family and being a childhood TV star. Having had to navigate adult situations at a very young age must have been challenging.

"Em, hi... morning." Sara smiled weakly.